I Will Protect My Brother - Chapter 81

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 81
My journey with Kalien had already stretched into its second fortnight.
Observing him closely at such proximity, I came to understand a truth I had previously overlooked.
Kalien was remarkably diligent.
He was extraordinarily diligent about pretending to be human.
After sharing a room with him for several days, I came to understand his daily habits with precision.
I always awoke around five in the morning. Upon rising, I would find Kalien asleep with his arms wrapped around me.
Then I would gaze intently at him, his eyes closed as though painted shut.
After staring persistently for several minutes, his eyelids would twitch almost imperceptibly nine times out of ten.
If I continued observing without relenting, he would display one of two reactions.
Either he would awkwardly, brazenly feign waking and lift his eyelids, or he would begin sweating profusely.
Today it was the former.
Kalien, whose lashes had trembled precariously, slowly opened his eyes. Then he manufactured a yawn.
“Mmm… *yawn*. Rosy, did you sleep well? Good morning.”
“Good morning. Though the sun hasn’t risen yet.”
Kalien’s arm lay heavy across my waist.
“I’m going to get up.”
Kalien immediately lifted me as he rose. I naturally found myself sitting upright.
As I descended from his lap, I spoke casually.
“Kalian, you don’t need to pretend to sleep.”
“Huh?”
“You don’t have to force yourself to eat.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying…”
“You don’t need to disguise yourself as human in front of me.”
The smile vanished from Kalien’s face. It was as though time itself had frozen for him alone.
Had my tone been too harsh? I softened my voice.
“I know you want to hide it, but it shows so much, Kalian. The forced effort is obvious.”
“…So.”
Kalien’s voice dropped instantly. His pupils constricted dangerously.
“So you hate it?”
“What?”
“Do you despise me? Am I not a decent human? Are you disappointed, Rosien?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m saying it’s fine for you to be yourself. You don’t need to force yourself to do things you dislike. I just want you to be your most natural, authentic self when you’re beside me.”
“…”
“You know what I hate most. I hate it when you lie to me.”
Kalien, who had been listening in silence, twisted his lips with difficulty.
“Ah, Rosy. Rosien. My princess.”
“…”
“I shouldn’t make promises I can’t keep.”
The moment I saw that twisted expression, I instinctively understood that we still had a long road ahead.
Kalien spoke in a low voice. It was advice.
“It’s better not to say such things carelessly. Everyone has something they don’t want to show others, after all.”
“But at least among Elixir, we shouldn’t create such secrets.”
“….”
“Of course, if you really don’t want to, I won’t force you. Then I’ll go wash up. Take your time getting up.”
I slipped out of the Bed and pressed my temples firmly.
It seemed that “true love” or “genuine trust” between us was still far off. Kalien showed no sign whatsoever of revealing his true form to me again.
As long as Kalien kept his appearance hidden from me, I would never love him. I could never fully trust him either.
The bleakness made me sigh repeatedly.
‘So the dream of becoming an induced-type Elixir is already gone. I can’t even dream of platonic love.’
Which meant that ultimately, I would need to resort to kissing, or perhaps something else—advanced “treatment,” so to speak.
It seemed wise to give up around this point and mentally prepare myself. Would my heart truly hold up without breaking?
‘This is not only inefficient but inhumane as well. The shallower the emotion, the more contact is required.’
What kind of contradiction was this!
* * *
Rosien remained locked in the Bathhouse for quite some time before emerging, saying she would do her morning training.
Kalien did not accompany her. The Backyard was visible through the Window of the Inn Room where they were staying.
“Playing human.”
Kalien, leaning against the Window frame while watching Rosien stretch, suddenly murmured.
“Playing human….”
Strange. He tilted his head in confusion and touched his left chest with his hand.
Again. This throbbing sensation here.
He had been genuinely happy over the past fortnight, yet Rosien’s few words had brought back the intense pain.
“Don’t pretend to be human…?”
Of course, Rosien’s words were not wrong. Since Rosy had already seen through him, there was no reason to go through the trouble of pretending to be human.
But wasn’t it strange to suddenly abandon things he had done naturally for the past ten years?
Why tell him not to do it?
A deeply twisted part of himself raised its head. The warped inner Kalien spoke harshly to himself.
‘So a non-human shouldn’t pretend to be human?’
But Kalien’s other self—meek and obedient when it came to Rosien—offered a virtuous counterargument.
‘No. Rosy probably just wanted me to feel comfortable.’
There was likely no such cruel intention. Kalien soothed himself, telling himself not to listen with sarcasm.
And he failed.
The resentment that surged up from his chest could not be suppressed no matter what.
“But I was once human.”
I was once like that too.
Foods I liked, foods I disliked, diverse tastes and scents, human emotions. There was a time when I enjoyed them without gratitude, as if they were natural.
In truth, I had forgotten for a very long time. Had Rosien not poked at me with those foolish questionnaires a few years ago, I could have continued not knowing.
Of course, it was not as if he now felt regret after centuries had passed. Rather, Kalien had come to want to be a “human” that pleased Rosy’s heart.
A human that anyone would approve of.
That’s why I’ve been working hard for years.
But eventually, did I truly want to become human again?
Did I want to return to what I was before?
Now that I know that’s impossible, is that why I’m suddenly getting hurt like this?
‘If I were still in my original form, he couldn’t help but love me. I once was….’
The moment I thought that, everything became dissatisfying.
This beautiful fake shell, this body that doesn’t follow human physiology, this nature that demands I destroy as I live—
None of it was anything he wanted.
“I didn’t choose to become this.”
He wants me to be my natural self in front of him?
Could I even handle doing that?
“Ah….”
Kalien pressed his palms against his eye sockets.
‘I don’t like this.’
Lately, something about me has been distinctly wrong.
I thought that once Rosien became Elixir, all my worries and torments would vanish.
I believed I could take one more step toward my goal, refreshed and clear-minded. But that wasn’t how it was.
Instead, the sudden surges of impatience grew even more intense.
My mood swung wildly with every word and action from Rosien. I clearly wanted something from her, yet I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I desired.
Something was simply insufficient. Even holding Rosy without restraint, something continued to feel lacking.
It wasn’t a physical craving. It was a void born from an unfulfilled spiritual realm.
Unfortunately, Kalien couldn’t distinguish between the two.
My thoughts suddenly veered into jagged territory.
‘Could this be Seongyeol’s influence?’
If so, controlling it would suffice.
Kalien kicked the door open and strode out.
He descended the Inn’s seemingly endless Staircase with long strides and stepped into the Backyard.
“Kalien?”
Rosien, who had just set down her training wooden sword and was wiping away sweat, opened her eyes wide.
Seeing him approach with such wide, unstoppable strides, she instinctively stepped backward.
“Kalian….”
Closing the distance in a single breath, Kalien seized the nape of Rosien’s neck—flushed and warm from exertion—as if catching prey.
“Treatment.”
Just before their lips collided, a low, ragged declaration was all he offered.
“I need it. Now.”
He consumed her lips.
* * *
Our lips collided as if sealed shut, and for several seconds, I couldn’t comprehend what was happening to me.
If not for his body heat, which burned hotter than mine, I surely would have remained frozen.
I had no time to close my lips. Without preamble or explanation, Kalian seized my jaw and held it fixed as he twisted his head.
Our lips met perfectly, and he pushed deeper through the parted opening.
The moment the heat and wetness touched the inside, my entire body went rigid.
The warmth I had only ever felt through fingertips and the surface of lips invaded my mouth. A mass of heat slid down my throat.
Fire bloomed from my throat to my chest, then scattered into fragments the moment it gathered at my heart, the sensation dissolving.
The effects of Elixir were profound.
Every nerve in my body ignited at once. Kalien explored every corner of my mouth, drawing deeply as if searching for something.
I had never shared such contact with anyone else, but even in my ignorance, I could sense the kiss was remarkably intense.
And yet….
At some point, I became aware that I was rising onto my toes, pressing myself closer to him.
‘Why am I doing this?’
The immense sense of security that always enveloped me whenever I was with Kalien was gradually transforming into something else.
This was unmistakably desire.
‘I’m losing it, losing it…!’
My chest swelled and fell in rapid succession. Kalien gave me no room to breathe.
A sense of urgency crashed over me—I had to stop this.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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