I Was Just Having Fun With The Time Limit - Chapter 123

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Isabel sat perched on the creaking bed, gazing at Aselia.
A sharp ache pierced through my chest.
No matter how many times I looked, she truly resembled my past self far too much.
“You can’t possibly be fine when you’re suffering like that.”
“No, I’m really okay. Thanks to chatting so cheerfully with you, Princess, I’m perfectly fine.”
Aselia had always spoken this way to everyone.
That she was fine.
Since childhood, illness had been so natural to her that she always remained composed.
Yet Isabel still sensed a strong “scent of pain” emanating from her.
She was clearly suffering greatly, merely pretending to be unaffected.
“You don’t need to be so composed. If it hurts, say it hurts. If it’s difficult, say it’s difficult. You can complain all you want. It’s okay.”
In truth, I wanted to do the same.
But I couldn’t, for fear of being hated.
“No one hates Aselia.”
Abandoned by her parents when she was very young, she was terrified of being abandoned again.
So she always had to be a good, pitiful child.
Being composed was even better.
‘I was never truly composed.’
How could anyone be composed while suffering so much?
But I knew the moment when a person becomes composed.
There was only one moment when things weren’t fine but seemed fine anyway.
When you no longer clung to life.
When you simply wanted to abandon everything.
In that state, everything became strangely calm.
‘To my eyes, you appear that way too.’
In fact, when I first spoke with Aselia, I felt somewhat distant.
Because I sensed no will to live from her whatsoever.
Aselia was excessively composed, her eyes devoid of any spark.
Perhaps Aselia had wanted to give up on life long ago.
‘One thing. The reason Aselia still wants to live is probably General Armitel.’
That one precious person beside me.
That single person was sustaining an entire life.
That was the difference between Isabel from South Korea and Aselia from the novel.
Whether that truly precious one person remains beside you, never leaving, always protecting you.
After listening silently to my words for a long time, Aselia finally opened her mouth.
“Princess. You see, I…”
….
Aselia closed her mouth again, and I sat quietly, regarding her with warm eyes.
Though I wasn’t entirely sure, it seemed she was about to say something that required great courage, so I decided to wait for that courage to emerge.
Aselia clenched her small fist hidden beneath the blanket tightly.
Words I had never spoken before anyone else—especially not before my sister—stirred in my throat.
“I….”
I knew all too well that my sister was suffering because of me.
There was one thing I could never say as a burdensome child.
I unlocked the gates of my heart and drew out the desire I had buried so deeply within.
“…I want to live too.”
* * *
The words “I want to live” carried so many meanings within them.
Perhaps it meant I didn’t want to suffer pain, or perhaps it meant I didn’t want to endure anguish.
Perhaps it meant I wanted to travel with my precious sister, or perhaps it meant I wanted to taste all the delicious things I had never tried before.
All the countless words I had hidden away in my heart were condensed into a single phrase: “I want to live.”
Thud!
The sound of something falling came from outside.
Armitel, who had been shopping with Yuri, heard it too.
She abandoned the shopping basket in her other hand and rushed into the room.
Armitel, a commoner-born prodigy who had risen to the rank of General Armitel in her twenties, was already weeping.
“Aselia. What did you just say?”
She wanted to hear it again.
Her sister had definitely said she wanted to live.
Those words were what Armitel had always longed to hear.
She had heard the words she desperately desired but had never heard before.
“What did you just say?”
“Um, sister. That is….”
“Why are you stopping? What did you say?”
A startled Aselia hid herself beneath the blankets.
It felt as though she were being scolded for no reason.
Isabel gently grasped the hand of the somewhat excited Armitel and shook her head softly.
Then she tapped the side of the bed lightly.
As if enchanted, Armitel settled down beside Isabel.
After a moment of silence, Isabel spoke again.
“Aselia. General Armitel is happy because of this. She’s overjoyed. She’s not angry.”
The moment their hands connected, I felt it.
Within Armitel’s mana dwelled an uncontainable joy.
It was such a desperate joy that it warmed Isabel’s heart.
If only I had one person like that.
If only I had one person who loved me this way, I could have endured so much better.
“So you don’t need to think of yourself as a burden.”
It was Armitel who responded to those words.
“Pardon? A burden?”
“Aselia must be feeling as though she can’t do anything on her own.”
There is nothing more pitiful than that.
The worthless feeling of being unable to help anyone, of only being able to survive with someone else’s assistance.
“In the end, I must have thought that my living would only cause you more suffering. So I couldn’t bring myself to complain, to say I wanted to live, that I didn’t want to hurt. I was afraid of being a burden to my beloved sister. If only I didn’t exist, if only I were different, perhaps you could be so much happier. That thought took precedence.”
“….”
Through the hand clasped with Armitel, her emotions transmitted to me moment by moment.
It was an extraordinarily complex feeling, difficult to define in any single way.
“So now, General, you tell me.”
The feelings being conveyed right now.
I need to organize those feelings and express them in words.
“If you don’t tell me, I won’t know.”
“….”
Through the hand gripping Armitel, frustration washed over me.
It seemed Armitel himself didn’t quite know what to say.
I decided to help Armitel a little.
“Just say that you’re grateful I said that. You only need to express it.”
“….”
Those words neatly organized Armitel’s thoughts.
Armitel rose from his seat and moved toward the head of the bed.
He knelt down and tried to gently lower the blanket covering Aselia, but she was gripping it so tightly that he couldn’t.
“Aselia. I was truly so happy. Thank you for telling me you wanted to live. It’s the thing I wanted most to hear.”
“….”
I sighed inwardly.
Perhaps because he had lived his entire life as a soldier, he didn’t seem particularly skilled at revealing his true feelings.
“General, do you think Aselia must be helpful in some way? By cleaning, or washing dishes, or earning money from somewhere?”
“There’s no need for that.”
“If she’s not helpful, is she a worthless child?”
“No. Not at all. Absolutely not.”
“Then what? What do you hope for from Aselia, General?”
Armitel thought for a moment.
What could I possibly hope for from my sister?
What would be nice if my sister did for me?
When I thought about it, there was nothing I hoped for from my sister.
“…There’s nothing.”
I didn’t hope for her to do anything for me.
I simply wished for her to be healthy and happy.
That was the one thing Armitel desired.
“Why is there nothing?”
“That’s because….”
Armitel still seemed unsure how to organize his feelings.
Isabel organized them for him.
“It’s because General Armitel loves Aselia so very, very much.”
“….”
Armitel nodded in acknowledgment.
Isabel rose from her seat and moved to Armitel’s side—to the head of Aselia’s bed.
She gently patted the chest of Aselia, who remained hidden beneath the blankets.
“Aselia. Sometimes there are people who shine simply by existing.”
I too wanted to be that kind of person for someone.
And that dream had come true here.
So this world was a gift to me.
Having received this world without any price, I wanted to share this gift.
With this child who resembled my past self so much.
“You don’t need to do anything. Simply existing is reason enough to be loved.”
Perhaps these were words I myself had longed to hear.
A sound of sobbing came from beneath the blankets.
I slowly pulled back the blankets.
It was as though a lock had been fastened there, but now that lock was quietly coming undone.
Armitel gently lifted his sister and embraced her.
“You’re not a burden. I just—”
“….”
“I just need you by my side. That’s enough for me. So don’t think like that. I’m so grateful that you told me you want to live. Truly grateful.”
At the sincerity in Armitel’s words, Aselia burst into tears with a wail.
She was unmistakably an eight-year-old child.
Armitel held Aselia close and wept freely, and I did the same.
Time passed in silence.
A voice came from behind the three of us embracing one another.
It was Yuri’s voice.
“I’m keeping my promise.”
I turned my head to look behind me.
Yuri was holding a tray, upon which sat four transparent glasses.
Steam rose gently from within each glass.
“The sweetest lemon tea in the world.”
But I sensed something was amiss.
“…Yuri? What’s wrong?”
The tray Yuri held was trembling.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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