I Possessed a Cultivator Destined to Die at the Hands of the Protagonist - Chapter 76

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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76.
I had grown up hearing such words countless times.
Each time, one thought never left my mind.
‘Am I allowed to be alive?’
Wouldn’t it be better to die?
I had entertained such thoughts more than once.
Yet strangely, that question always ended the same way.
‘Still, I want to live. I don’t want to die.’
I didn’t know why.
It was simply so.
No matter what others said, I could not agree with their words.
If I died, if I vanished from this world, it felt as though my existence would become nothing at all.
That terrified me.
“Master.”
“….”
“I… when I was young… someone told me…”
Not knowing how to say it, I gripped the hem of my robe tightly with my fingertips.
My mind was in such chaos that even as I spoke, I couldn’t organize my thoughts.
“They said I should never have been born. There was someone who said that to me.”
Baek Un-jin said nothing.
Not who said it, not when, not where I heard it.
“Because of me, that person couldn’t do what they wanted. They said life would have been easier without me.”
“….”
“They said my existence cost money. They hated that I needed a room. They despised that I ate, that I simply existed.”
My throat tightened.
“So my whole life, I tried to take up as little space as possible. I tried not to get sick, not to be noticed, not even to breathe deeply. I thought if I disappeared from that person’s sight, everything would be fine.”
I forced myself to laugh.
Though it wasn’t truly laughter—it was closer to weeping.
“Yet every single day, they asked why I was alive, why I didn’t die sooner.”
“….”
“That my existence caused harm to others. It went on for so long that now… I don’t even know anymore.”
Was the desire to live such a terrible greed?
“I don’t know if I’m truly someone who deserves to live.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks and wet my lips.
My throat was so tight I could barely speak.
“But… even so, I wanted to live. Even thinking that person might be right. I didn’t want to die. I don’t know why. My body just… refused to die.”
“….”
“You should never have been born. Your existence made others suffer. Everything would have been easier without you… Master, those are words I’ve heard my entire life. But hearing them even here, now… it feels like those words are finally true, and it torments me.”
If only I had never existed, everything would have unfolded as it was meant to.
“Because of me, Sunja collapsed, and because of me, you did something too. If I didn’t exist, no one would have suffered like that.”
I didn’t have the courage to look at my master’s face.
“Am I… allowed to live like this?”
I stared at the ceiling, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I simply couldn’t muster the courage to meet Baek Un-jin’s gaze.
For a long while, there was no conversation between us.
All I could hear was the sound of my own quiet sobbing.
Baek Un-jin slowly moved closer and sat beside me.
His shoulder was near enough to brush against mine.
“Yeon-seo.”
It was a name I’d heard countless times, yet this time it carried a different weight.
“Living is not something that requires permission.”
“….”
“A person’s breath does not come at someone else’s behest. Whoever told you that you should never have been born spoke from their own hardship, not from truth. That word was not cast as truth.”
“But….”
“If it were truth, you would have vanished from Saryeong Jigok.”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
When I sensed death as Lee Seo-hee, the emotion I felt was regret.
I hadn’t accomplished anything yet.
I wanted to live longer.
I believed that was why I possessed Yoo Yeon-seo’s body.
But hearing such words even here felt deeply unfair.
“Heaven did not take you, this master did not take you, and you yourself did not take you. That you stand here now is not by permission—it is because you are meant to be here.”
“….”
“Yeon-seo.”
Baek Un-jin called my name slowly.
Only then did I lower my head and look at him.
“That Pung-hu called you a calamity was their scheme. That the elders of Hyeonganmun named you the culprit was their own burden alone. And that word you heard in childhood—it was not you. It was their wound.”
“….”
“None of those things are you.”
Baek Un-jin wiped away the tears gathering at my eyes with his sleeve.
Soon his hand rose to my head.
“That you are alive means nothing beyond the fact that you are alive. You are not alive because you burden someone, because you took something from them. The same applies to your death. Such calculations do not apply to life itself.”
“….”
“You are here because you are meant to be. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Baek Un-jin’s words seeped into my heart.
From very long ago, so distant I could no longer remember when.
It felt as though, in that small room, someone had finally answered a child’s question for the first time.
‘Am I allowed to live?’
‘Yes.’
I tried to hold back my tears, but I could not.
It wouldn’t come out.
“…Master.”
“You should cry. It’s alright to cry.”
“…Sob.”
“There are times when one must cry. I will stay by your side until your tears run dry.”
At those words, the sobs I had been holding back burst forth.
It was not merely Yeon-seo’s tears alone.
It was the cry of a child who had grown up long ago in a cramped room, holding her breath, never once allowed to weep properly in all her years.
A cry she could never release before anyone, a cry that had been imprisoned deep within her soul for a lifetime.
Baek Un-jin’s hand, reaching down from above, gently stroked my head.
“It’s alright, Yeon-seo.”
“…Sob, sob. Sob, sob, sob.”
“Your survival is no one’s fault.”
“Sob….”
“And certainly not yours.”
I wept openly, cradled in Baek Un-jin’s embrace.
I had no idea how long I cried in his arms.
By the time my sobs subsided, my throat was hoarse, and my eyes were swollen and puffy.
Yet strangely, one corner of my chest felt far lighter than before.
It was as though a knot that had been twisted and hardened for so long had finally dissolved.
Baek Un-jin remained seated beside me throughout.
He did not leave my side until I stopped crying, nor did he tell me to cease.
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve—eyes that had no more tears left to shed—and looked at him, and he smiled softly.
“Do you feel better now?”
“…Yes.”
I nodded slightly, embarrassed.
I tried to stand, but my body still had no strength.
Baek Un-jin slowly lifted me into his arms.
The hem of his robe wrapped around me once more.
As I buried my face, a familiar warmth touched the tip of my nose.
Without thinking, I gripped the fabric of his robe tightly.
The warmth I felt at my fingertips was identical to the warmth I had felt in Saryeong Jigok.
It was that same warmth, unchanged from then, when I had first been granted permission to live in this world.
As Baek Un-jin and I emerged from Man-nyeon-su-yeom-dong, even the traces of the talisman turned to ash faded quietly away.
***
Five years had passed since I left Man-nyeon-su-yeom-dong.
As Baek Un-jin had said, my advancement was not particularly difficult.
I rapidly became a Chukgi-gi 3-star, and just days ago, I achieved 4-star rank.
Eun Hui-gyeom recently succeeded in advancing to Chukgi-gi 2-star.
Wriggle, wriggle.
“Hui-gyeom! Look at this—it’s moving, I’m telling you!”
“…I didn’t see anything.”
“Right now! It just moved again—no, look over there, what do I do!”
Ever since becoming a Chukgi Sect disciple, I could feel Ari’s responses growing gradually stronger.
Recently, it had even begun to squirm and move from time to time.
It was clearly moving, yet somehow no one but I seemed to notice.
“How much longer will you be incubating that egg?”
“Until Ari awakens.”
“…You’ll be carrying it your whole life.”
Eun Hui-gyeom shook his head dismissively, saying I could do as I pleased.
As I gazed at Ari, Eun Hui-gyeom moved toward the window.
“Hm? What’s this….”
When Eun Hui-gyeom cracked the window open, a strong wind swept through the room.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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