How to Survive in a Good Small Guild - Chapter 68

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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How to Survive in a Decent Small Guild
Chapter 68
“Customer service? You mean… to connect me?”
It seemed that Ans and I were hearing the same message coming through our telephone receivers.
Ans didn’t understand what it meant, but I grasped the situation quickly.
“I sincerely apologize, sir. It must have been terribly inconvenient. I’ve experienced similar issues myself, so I truly understand your frustration. I’m very sorry.”
—No, if you know it’s inconvenient, why did you set it up this way?
“I’m sorry. I’ve mentioned it to the manager several times, but I’m not sure why things are the way they are.”
This is the defining characteristic of modern customer service calls.
They keep routing you to AI, turning even reasonable customers into difficult ones.
I suppose whoever can endure these difficult customers for longer would be the winner.
This would definitely get exhausting if it went on for a few hours.
—Well, that’s just it! Let me tell you what kind of person I am….
He continued introducing himself for five minutes straight.
“I see. So what’s been inconvenient for you is….”
—No, the reason I bought this in the first place was…!
Another ten minutes passed.
By now I’d learned everything: the customer’s family relationships, his pet’s age, his hobby of line dancing and his upcoming competition, how his investment club planned an overseas trip but one member kept complaining about expensive airfare, and his worries about whether his high school sophomore son would improve if he got expensive tutoring. Yet I still hadn’t discovered his name or the reason for his call.
But I still hadn’t learned the customer’s name or why he’d called.
When I glanced sideways, Ans seemed to be in the same situation as me.
‘Whoever ends the call faster will have the advantage.’
—So my Poppy used to take his heartworm medicine just fine, but lately he won’t even try to take it….
“So what’s your complaint, exactly?” Ans asked, then flinched. Perhaps someone had barked at him through the receiver.
While he was still struggling, I decided to take a different approach.
Goodso Strategy, Skill 2! If you’re going to be unreasonable, so will I!
“Oh, so your dog’s name is Poppy?”
—That’s right, Poppy. Our Poppy is a poodle. Do you know how smart poodles are?
“I do. I raised a Chihuahua named Sugar. She was white. You know how people say Chihuahuas have bad temperaments? Well, in my case, it was true. My Sugar really did have a terrible personality. I loved her dearly, but I have to admit her temperament wasn’t great. Here’s what troubles me—Sugar lived for sixteen years and then went to doggy heaven, right? But she had such a bad personality that I’m not sure she’ll get along with other dogs. Do you think there’s bullying even among dogs? Oh, now that I mention bullying, I just remembered….”
—Wait, hold on!
The moment I started babbling frantically while mimicking the customer’s manner, he grew desperate.
—Why are you talking so much? Let me say something too. So I’m planning an overseas trip with Poppy, see. We’re thinking of going to the beach. I’m torn between going east or west.
“Oh, then maybe I can help! I’ve traveled quite a bit. Right after I turned into an adult, I went on a trip to the eastern coast with a friend. We stayed in the cheapest room of a nice accommodation, and I thought that in ten years I’d have enough to stay in the most expensive room. But you see, prices shot up so much in that time….”
—Wait, wait! So what about my item?
“Oh, what item was it?”
—So I bought some clothes, and there’s a hole in them….
Realizing this would go on forever if he didn’t, he quickly spat out his complaint.
“Yes, I understand, sir!”
After he hung up, I let out a sigh of relief.
‘That’s one problem solved!’
Actually, this was a method you couldn’t use in a real customer service center. The customer could hang up and lodge a complaint afterward.
But this was a virtual space, and no matter how unreasonably I behaved, there would be no one to complain about me later.
‘This actually works pretty well.’
While Ans was still whimpering, I hung up the first call, and Etienne laughed out loud at me.
“Wow, this is so much fun! I’ve never seen anyone solve it like that before!”
“Thank you….”
“But that won’t solve everything, will it?”
The moment he said that, a second telephone receiver rang. I picked up again.
—You bastard!
It started with curses right off the bat. Really enough to make your head pound.
I found myself genuinely admiring customer service representatives who had to deal with people like this all the time.
This was a one-day experience for me, but they face this constantly—truly impressive.
Hmm, how should I handle this one? If I curse back and fight with the customer, it’ll never end….
—Hey! These damn idiots! Do your jobs properly?
Let’s go.
Goodso Strategy Skill 4: Break the customer’s will to fight.
“Properly? Um, y-yes….”
When I gave a somewhat stupid-sounding response, the customer seemed to sense he’d found an opening and grew even more furious.
—The package you sent never arrived! What are you going to do about it?
“A package? What package?”

-I ordered a bedding set! That’s what I’m telling you!
“A bedding set? What sort of bedding set, sir?”
-A down bedding set for winter! Winter preparation!
“Down? Is down warm, sir?”
-Don’t ask me what you should already know! I ordered it so I could sleep warm in winter, and now you’re telling me it arrived damaged? How dare you! This is outrageous!
“Damaged? You’re certain, sir?”
-Are you blind? Look at it properly and you’ll see it yourself!
“But why is it damaged, sir?”
-Why should I have to explain that to you!
“How exactly did the damage occur, sir?”
-Aaaagh!
At that moment, something alarming came through the receiver.
-Hnngh!
-Honey! Honey, snap out of it!
-Gnnnngh!
-Father’s collapsed from anger sickness!
Moments later, amid the sound of commotion, the line went dead.
I smiled. Well, contrary to my original intent of draining his will to fight, his rage had erupted instead—and now he was being rushed away with anger sickness.
Either way, it’s resolved, isn’t it?
“Hahahaha!”
Etienne burst into laughter again.
“A counter-attack, no less—delightful, absolutely delightful! You understand the Scripture well! Tell me: what is a customer?”
“The enemy.”
“Exactly that!”
I couldn’t quite grasp why Park Geo-seong found himself in the position of needing to sell goods to customers and earn money, only to call them enemies—but there it was.
The telephone rang for the third time.
Ans’s face had gone pale, and he looked as though he might collapse any moment. I wondered if I should let him endure just a bit longer.
“Yes, hello.”
-…….
The third customer did not rage. He was very quiet.
“How may I help you?”
-You don’t know who I am.
“…….”
For a moment, I felt caught off guard. Damn—this type.
Not openly angry, but rather keen on flaunting his authority.
“My apologies, sir. I’m afraid my knowledge is still lacking….”
-I’m the president of Smarter Ventures.
“Ah, yes, of course.”
-And you don’t even recognize the voice of a business partner.
How was I going to handle this one?
As I racked my brain, a sense of crisis washed over me.
‘If I keep working too quickly, I’ll end up taking thirty calls all by myself before Ans even collapses from anger sickness.’
I needed to break out of this situation entirely. How could I obliterate the whole scenario?
-An employee who doesn’t even know her own company’s partners….
While the man spoke his quiet discontent, I found my opening.
‘Use this customer.’
If I exploited the fact that he claimed to be a business partner….
I could destroy this fictitious company altogether, so I’d have no reason to take calls ever again!
“Ah yes, one moment, sir. The president asked me to put through any business partners directly, so I’ll relay your message.”
Goodso Strategy, Skill 3.
If a company has five employees, one must be an advisor.
What? There’s no advisor?
Well then, I have no choice—from now on, I’ll take on the role of advisor myself.
“President, sir!”
I set down the receiver as if to transfer the call, then shouted loud enough for him to hear.
“Sir, that difficult customer you told me to transfer last time is here—the business partner you called senile and stupid!”
At that instant, the space began to shudder.
The receiver and the space itself vibrated violently. Ans looked up with alarm in his eyes. And then….
Bang-!
Something shattered with a tremendous crash, and when I came to my senses, I was back in the original Trial Ground.
“Oh! What just happened?”
“We broke the dilemma!”
The intermediate priests’ eyes had clearly caught sight of our test method.
They looked at us with fascination.
“But one of them didn’t fall….”
“Instead, one of them smashed the entire world! Isn’t that Odret’s victory as a junior priest?”
While they murmured among themselves, Etienne seemed lost in his own contemplation.
“Ah, it was entertaining, certainly… but if one person doesn’t fall, that violates the rules….”
Wait—all I need to do is make this more entertaining for Etienne and meet the rule about one person falling.
I picked up the thick Scripture lying on the ground. It was Park Geo-seong’s essay interpretation, so disproportionately bulky and heavy.
And with it, I brought it down on Ans’s head.
“Ugh!”
He lost consciousness from the heavy blow. Silence fell over the Trial Ground.
“……?”
But I turned to Etienne and spoke with perfect confidence.
“Condition satisfied.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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