How to Survive as the Second Son of a Mage Family - Chapter 356

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Lucas quickly returned to this location with Narke.

 

“This is the first time I’m seeing you awake, Senior.”

 

“….”

 

The 98th Division A Captain looked at him without saying anything, then spoke quietly.

 

“Congratulations.”

 

“You too, Senior. I think we all feel like we’ve come back from the dead. So, why did you come?”

 

“Must there be a special reason to visit? I’m simply paying my respects. To sincerely congratulate Count Ascanien on his successful operation.”

 

The 98th Division A Captain spoke with a gentle smile.

 

“It was an honor to work alongside you in this operation.”

 

“….”

 

Even at first glance, it was clear this wasn’t an ordinary greeting. This 98th member was wearing his usual mask, but at the same time, he was more sincere than ever. I am witnessing the moment this person acknowledges himself. Lucas, who had been standing with a slightly tense expression perhaps because he couldn’t hear the words immediately, opened his mouth.

 

“Oh.”

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

The 98th Division A Captain maintained his gentle expression while sharpening his gaze. It was a wary look, wondering if Lucas was about to say something frivolous, but conversely, the wariness that had filled Lucas’s features melted away like snow, and a sun-like smile appeared.

 

“I was just surprised for a moment because those are unfamiliar words to hear from you, Senior. I’m glad that most of us returned safely this time too.”

 

Safe return… Who is safe, and who will be safe? For the 98th Division A Captain, these words would be the standard answer, but to me, this is a false and meaningless response. However, unlike me, who can’t control all kinds of ambivalent feelings while only speaking words for his sake, Lucas was sincere in himself. The 98th Division A Captain in front of him was the same.

 

Though I’ve used every means to erase it, the rising anguish makes my stomach churn again. Before it could consume me, I focused my consciousness elsewhere.

 

‘…But he’s quite good at speaking without getting caught.’

 

Whether Narke’s relay speed is fast or his quick wit is excellent. Even though it’s an obvious inevitability that the fact his hearing isn’t functioning will reach everyone’s ears someday, he’s desperately defending against it.

 

“….”

 

At a sudden thought, my mouth tastes bitter again. I tried to erase the anguish, but the attempt didn’t work. He probably doesn’t want to bear all the countless greetings and concerns that would be directed at him right now when he’s already tired. The 98th Division A Captain, conscious of Narke and me, asked Lucas.

 

“Could we move to another place together?”

 

“If it’s not something important, can’t you just say it here?”

 

“….”

 

Only then did the 98th Division A Captain slightly stiffen the corners of his mouth. He began to look suspiciously at everything from Lucas’s delayed response to the flustered gazes of Narke and me. He had noticed that something was different from usual.

 

“It’s something important.”

 

“I consider anything that’s not an official order to be unimportant. What do you think, Senior?”

 

“….”

 

At this rude response, the 98th Division A Captain had a staring contest with Lucas while smiling, then spoke calmly.

 

“I heard that you’ll be taking some time to recuperate after your last official schedule this week is finished.”

 

“Me?”

 

“…? Didn’t you apply for it yourself?”

 

“What’s this official schedule?”

 

“That’s not related to my business, so you can hear about it later. So, …since you won’t be able to go home during your recuperation, you’re welcome to come to Neustrelitz if you’d like.”

 

I let out a short breath.

 

The invitation to come to Mecklenburg-Strelitz’s castle wasn’t important. Since you won’t be able to go home during your recuperation… Yes, this guy knows too. Beyond simply Count Nicolaus’s identity, much more. The memory of when I belatedly learned that an exchange student from the Farnese family, whom I’d only met recently, had directly heard about Lucas’s situation, comes rushing up to hit me in the throat.

 

I know now. He doesn’t make hasty decisions. He thinks over and over again to create the best decision. There’s always a reason for his choices, so it’s not something I need to worry about. Even if not, whatever way Lucas uses this person, I knew well that it was beyond my authority. However.

 

“Ah.”

 

Color returned to Lucas’s face. In that instant, I could see countless calculations flashing by.

 

“That sounds goo…”

 

“Since you need to stay in Bavaria, it would be difficult for you to go to Neustrelitz.”

 

It was a separate matter. If his hearing had been fine, I would have let him go, but not now. Even seeing his gaze fixed on my lips, even knowing why he was going to such shallow lengths to hide it when he knew his condition would spread to everyone someday, I couldn’t bring myself to just watch. Unfortunately, fortunately.

 

The 98th Division A Captain’s eyes turn to me. Narke still only wore that enigmatic smile, and Lucas looked at me in confusion, probably after Narke immediately relayed my words. I looked down into Lucas’s eyes and continued speaking.

 

“….”

 

“Since he needs to receive treatment. I wonder what Count Ascanien thinks about this.”

 

I had no intention of interfering further. The rest was Lucas’s responsibility.

 

I went to visit the seniors who were hospitalized in the intensive care unit. A doctor stood in front of the two seniors’ hospital room and briefly informed me of the situation.

 

“Fortunately, the prognosis is good. We’ve completed the emergency suturing, so if we continue to supply mana, the mana throughout their bodies should be able to circulate like before.”

 

For all that, the file he handed over still shows plenty of narcotic painkillers. However, my maximized worry was only fueling my skepticism; the doctor’s words wouldn’t be wrong.

 

I briefly greeted the medical staff there and moved back to Munich Residenz to participate in the royal meeting. The banquet was sufficient for just my friends to enjoy. Now it was time to clean up what remained after the operation.

 

“How is your friend doing now? I heard he’s lost his hearing.”

 

“….”

 

It was when the 30-minute meeting had ended and only His Majesty the King and I remained. My friend, not Nicolaus Ernst. Therefore, I couldn’t be certain of anything in response to His Majesty’s question. I only looked down at my notes and answered briefly.

 

“I don’t know, Your Majesty.”

 

I think again of the scene in the intensive care unit. Injuries in battle must be inevitable. The era of bloodshed must end with my generation. Even if it’s just a vain wish, I had to make it possible. A position was reserved for me where I had to be more realistic than anyone else while believing in fantasies.

 

So I must not be buried in my friend’s injury. He was someone who would create the era I desired, and I was someone who had to do the same. We, who are not in the era we desire, must endure this era. However, I remember the perplexity that flashed in Lucas’s eyes, I remember the cheerfulness that was rarely shown to me, I remember the time he went through, and I remember that today’s peace is maintained because of that pain.

 

I don’t know what’s right.

 

The spring wind was as cold as winter wind. After finishing the meeting, I leaned against the balcony of Munich Residenz and looked down at the ground. I heard Narke’s words as he approached silently from behind.

 

“You always make the same choice.”

 

“….”

 

The banquet hall is downstairs, Narke. I was about to say that but closed my mouth.

 

Always? Could there be more futile words than these? Even in this moment when my usual days are shattered and confusion and sadness cover me, he says I’m the same as always. I couldn’t even laugh. Right now, I feel all kinds of ambivalent emotions sweeping over me and feel indescribable shock and anxiety. I couldn’t even tell what choice I had made. As if reading my thoughts, Narke smiled.

 

“You went round and round but ultimately chose the same path, so how can you say otherwise? What are you worried about? You’ve always been sincere.”

 

“It’s surprising to hear such words on the worst day of my life.”

 

“It may be the worst day of your life, but it will become the best choice. At least you’ll think so.”

 

I look at Lucas’s friend, whom I couldn’t figure out from the beginning and still can’t understand now. Did you see into the future by yourself? I don’t know which time’s version of me he’s talking about, but to the current me, these were empty words.

 

“Narke. I know well that you’ve helped us and saved countless people. I can’t help but be grateful for your existence. But isn’t it dangerous to be certain about a future that hasn’t even happened? Do you receive unwanted confessions because you’re clergy?”

 

“I wasn’t trying to wield clerical authority. I just believe I know you a little better than you know yourself.”

 

The voice that seemed like it would crumble in the wind was painfully familiar. I thought it was like the crucifix firmly embedded behind the altar. I couldn’t define which of the two different things it was. I held my head.

 

“Even I don’t know myself well anymore, but nevertheless.”

 

“….”

 

“Tell Lucas I’ll see him tomorrow. Don’t be too harsh.”

 

* * *

 

“I’ve been looking for you for a while, hey.”

 

A hand struck my shoulder. I couldn’t not know who the owner of the mana bursting from my shoulder was. I silently looked at the red fragments floating in the air. The shining afterimage, as if I had entered a fantasy, remained whether I opened or closed my eyes.

 

“Since you said you know how to restore senses, I postponed the Neustrelitz decision, so hurry up and tell me.”

 

Lucas familiarly locked the royal training ground door and threw off his jacket. Then he sprawled out on the training ground floor as if it were his own home.

 

“So naturally in someone else’s training ground…”

 

I said that much and then erased my smile. He wouldn’t hear it. Instead of giving myself over to my constantly fluctuating emotions, I immediately took out a black box from my bag and handed it to him.

 

“Hmm? What’s this?”

 

“….”

 

An artifact I received as a birthday gift when I was young. Those words lingered in my mouth. Lucas opened the lid and raised his eyebrows when he saw the thick diary and quill pen. There was a note I had written on top of it.

 

[It’s an artifact that writes down what you say.]

 

“…There was such a thing?! Then I didn’t need to use Philip as a note-taking shuttle instead of Cla*va Note, did I?”

 

“Public use.”

 

Although I had never trained in lip reading, I spoke in one word, opening my mouth wide so he could understand as much as possible. Then Lucas plopped down and gestured in front of himself.

 

“Ah… Right. I didn’t understand, but I got it. Let me try this, go ahead and say something.”

 

If he could have heard, he would have chuckled asking how I received something used by public institutions as a birthday gift. Bitterly, he didn’t do that. I placed my hand on that thick hardcover and let my mana flow. I could feel Lucas alternately looking at my mouth and the diary. What should I say? I decided to say the words I had practiced countless times in front of my secretary when I was young.

 

“Hello, Lucas.”

 

“Oh, it really writes.”

 

Lucas looked at the cursive writing appearing in the diary and smiled as he continued speaking.

 

“So. I understand well that you took sick leave on your own. To learn about this through Senior Mecklenburg.”

 

“Mmm.”

 

“So, during the week you took sick leave, I have to be stuck in Bavaria.”

 

“You can go to Neustrelitz if you want.”

 

Lucas, who had been looking at the writing appearing in the diary, opened his mouth and raised his head.

 

“…Why? That’s not like you.”

 

“Do you want me to tell you to stay here?”

 

“Not particularly, but I thought our opinions would perfectly align for once, so it’s interesting. This time, no matter what you say you’ll do, I’m going to stick around in Bavaria.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Shouldn’t you regain your hearing as soon as possible? You said you know how.”

 

Right, that’s why he came. When I gestured for him to stand up, Lucas got up from his seat holding his diary. I loosened my hands while tilting my head and said.

 

“Are your ears weaker than your eyes? Seeing how they were destroyed first.”

 

“That’s probably not it. But do we really need to analyze which part is weaker? Usually people don’t voice analysis results in situations like this.”

 

“You need to know where you’re weak to compensate. I need to help you become stronger.”

 

“…Hm? That’s enough. You’ve already helped me become much stronger.”

 

Lucas looks at me with suspicious eyes. I reached for the wand holster on my thigh. I could see Lucas’s mouth fall open.

 

“Hey, wait. How can you attack without sound…!”

 

“I can.”

 

I fought the Bishop with my eyes covered too, so there’s no reason I can’t. I swallowed those words and thrust my wand forward. The roar created when red magic and my magic collided assaulted my ears.

 

* * *

 

The only light coming through the glass dome ceiling was moonlight. It had become night. Yesterday at this time we were in Corbiniano. And Lucas and I are still in Corbiniano. No, maybe only I am.

 

Breathing sounds rise from the floor. I wiped away sweat and looked down at Lucas, who was sprawled on the floor as if he had exchanged his soul with it.

 

“…Is this hearing recovery treatment? I’d die if we did this twice.”

 

“As if that would happen.”

 

I muttered while flipping through the diary that Lucas had thrown—which I caught before it hit the floor and carefully set down. Though he probably can’t hear my muttering. Lucas began mimicking my way of speaking.

 

“…Expected response. As if that would happen? Get up. Let’s fight for now.”

 

“As if you’d tell someone to get up when they’re exhausted enough to be stuck to the floor.”

 

When I said things like this, Lucas would always shout angrily asking if this made any sense. It was understandable since I had a long history of continuing to push him even when he said he wanted to stop. No answer came. I turned my head away from the desolation that washed over me from him.

 

“So why did you suddenly start with training? Training like usual won’t restore your hearing.”

 

Right, it won’t. But before moving for his sake, I needed to calm my heart first. I couldn’t face my irreplaceable friend while caught in a whirlpool of thoughts whose substance even I didn’t know. I couldn’t drag him into that. For his sake before mine, I absolutely couldn’t do that.

 

However, now it was proper to give a different reason. There are often multiple grounds for a single action.

 

After speaking an incantation aloud to Lucas who was looking up at me, I opened a different page of the diary and wrote directly to show him.

 

[Do you know what I just said?]

 

“Not at all. What did you say? Say it again.”

 

Lucas answered while almost glaring at my lips. I could feel his determination to understand this time. Without moving my lips once, I struck Lucas’s shoulder. As magic sparked and familiar healing magic seeped into him, only then did Lucas snap his fingers with a regretful expression.

 

“Ah, John 3. Okay… Is this about needing to train reading incantations just in case?”

 

“…”

 

“…Really, training with you would get me into the Imperial Court even missing one sense…”

 

Lucas snickered with an exasperated expression, then lay back down. Then he suddenly sat up as if remembering something and snatched the diary from my hands.

 

“Ah, while we’re on the topic, I think. You put magic into the plants you’re growing in your room and use them almost like sensors.”

 

“Yeah”

 

“This looks unreasonable to me. As you well know, we have an obligation as members of this society not to infringe on individual freedoms. And we have the right not to be infringed upon.”

 

“To you?”

 

“…”

 

Lucas stared blankly at the letters, then burst into laughter and swung the diary.

 

“…!”

 

“This bastard really…”

 

Lucas’s sunset-colored magic burst forth vigorously. I bent my head back to avoid the attack and was captivated by that light before coming to my senses and laughing. Lucas finally let his magic flow into my shoulder with a thud, then grumbled with an “ugh.” My shoulder tingled.

 

“Leo.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

When I raised my eyebrows and answered with a gesture, Lucas, who had been watching me, leaned his back against the training ground wall with a thud and crossed his arms and closed his eyes as if he was about to sleep.

 

“No matter how I think about it, 17 years old is disgustingly creepy…”

 

“Disgust… what? You said that before too, what do you mean?”

 

I tried speaking even though I knew he couldn’t hear. There was no answer. I spent a long time looking at the stars coming through the glass ceiling and let words spill out.

 

“Do you really want things to go back to how they were before?”

 

A response came to a question I hadn’t expected to get an answer to. Lucas suddenly raised his head and laughed.

 

“Why do you keep asking that? Huh? Don’t want to restore my hearing?”

 

As if. That’s not my purpose. Moreover, this question is wrong even as a means to that purpose.

 

What do you truly want? I try to put that question on my lips, then try to press it into my pen, but in the end I can’t put it anywhere and bury it in my heart.

 

I looked down slightly at the diary that wouldn’t leave his hands. Even in the moment I thought he was sleeping, he was looking at the letters written in the diary in this darkness. There was no way he was okay. I dare not know the longing and fear for a lost sense.

 

“Have you ever put all the sugar cubes in coffee?”

 

“No. That would… probably taste so sweet you’d die.”

 

“I think so too.”

 

I think of the narcotic painkillers in the intensive care unit. I think of the night in Corbiniano and the friend and colleague who disappeared before my eyes in that final moment. My thoughts rise to the pool of blood in Brandenburg. To Penthalon, to Primrose Pass… To those times when I would have died long ago if not for his unknowable power.

 

Words close to a whisper slipped through my teeth and flowed out quietly.

 

“That would no longer be coffee but just a lump.”

 

“What a waste of coffee.”

 

“Lucas. Are you happy?”

 

“Suddenly philosophical…”

 

Lucas burst into laughter and looked away from the diary to look at me.

 

I claim to be your irreplaceable friend, but since I’m not you in the end, I don’t know what you truly want. But selfishly, I know at least what I truly want.

 

I don’t want you to die. Is that a ridiculous thing to say? Because we’re breathing and alive now, because we know there’s an operation waiting whose outcome we can’t predict, but somehow in this moment you and I are looking into each other’s eyes, because you can turn back time…

 

My wish crumbles powerlessly before that barrier.

 

Right now I want your survival more than anything else. An unreachable voice fills my throat. The results of the countless lines of death you cross save many people, but I want you to live. Not anyone else but you, in whatever form, whatever you become, I want you to live, so I…

 

“…”

 

I swallow the words lingering on my tongue. I’ll reserve these words for later. For us, Penthalon, Brandenburg, Munich-Freising weren’t the end, and someday we might truly face the end.

 

Before the only force that destroys the soil of my childhood, the past of my present self, everything I’ve built up, I return to the starting point. I was wrong. Before you, I was completely wrong. What I wanted to become, the image of the sages I followed with swollen dreams, everything I’ve protected, all crumbles under the thought that I wish my irreplaceable friend wouldn’t die.

 

“I should get some sleep. Sleeping in the training ground isn’t bad either.”

 

After I don’t speak for a long time, Lucas’s voice comes from the darkness. After another long time passes, I look up at the night sky and swallow my breath.

 

“I don’t know why I always become stupid in front of you.”

 

I want to escape from this kind of anguish. If that happened, could I become the person I want to be? Paradoxically, I knew that the more I moved away from you, the further I’d get from myself. This was me. This was how I looked in moments when I faced what I wanted to protect in this world. No matter how much I struggled, ideals and reality were different, and I was used to accepting the bitter taste of miserable reality. Because that was the only way to move forward. Today was no different.

 

“Lucas. Are you okay?”

 

“…”

 

“What did you think when the sounds surrounding you completely disappeared? Is this just a happening that will be solved with time for you?”

 

“…”

 

“Are there so many dangers facing us now that this much doesn’t matter to you? As if. My pain is new each day, so how could your sense of pain become dull?”

 

When night came, the world became quieter. On spring nights, no wind disturbs us, but only your ears prevent you from hearing my words. Only your operation that made you lose your hearing.

 

“What will you think on the day this danger pierces not just your hearing but your heart? How far apart do you think ears and heart are? On the day the delegated command authority and the medal hung around your neck today cut off your breath?”

 

The doctor’s words that decomposed with steam remain hazily in my mind. The doctor’s insight and comfort gave me no consolation. Why?

 

“Rather than erecting a tombstone in your graveyard, I thought I’d prefer you to have breath in you in some form.”

 

Because I feared what lay beyond Lucas’s sensory loss. What’s beyond that? Today this isn’t the end. Until his breath stops, Lucas will repeat anything, and I could lose the friend who has become part of my life at any time. I’d always known this. Knowing this, I’d prepared to accept it. That was true until he came back having lost one of his senses, and today I realized that was arrogance. But the thought that I could do something about it is also arrogance.

 

“What I’m saying now isn’t different from what I said when we remained at school, when I faced you entering my room. The same words, repeating the same situation might be tiresome for you. I feel the same way. If you don’t always think about improvement, people become complacent and nothing changes.”

 

Now it’s time to treat you differently. I now face that the time has come to change how I feel about you.

 

“Now it’s time to escape my self-righteous stubbornness and acknowledge. No matter how much I try to keep you with me, you are you. I am me.”

 

“…”

 

“You certainly wanted to escape from Hyung’s grasp, but the death I’m talking about is clearly different from that kind of murder. So… it wouldn’t be wrong to ask like this.”

 

I slowly shift my gaze from the Milky Way.

 

“Are you happy, Lucas? Do you feel happiness in the peace you achieve by burning yourself?”

 

Like that, I look at my friend’s face looking at me. I smiled the best smile I could give my friend at this moment and said quietly.

 

“Even if you answer yes, I can’t let you move as you please. But to have my will acknowledged, I must acknowledge your will too.”

 

“…”

 

“If this is truly your will, then no matter what situation comes, I have no choice but to keep you alive.”

 

Searing pain on the back of my hand. Even the sudden intense pain whose meaning I couldn’t understand wasn’t enough to interfere with my self-reflection. I looked at those firm eyes and said.

 

“Remember.”

 

And I see myself reflected in those eyes.

 

“The one life you lose is mine.”

 

A light that was surely neither mine nor Lucas’s, nor anyone’s, rises from below. An illusion struck me as if unknowable memories were piercing through flesh and seeping in.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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