Hiding My Identity From My Husband - Chapter 45

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 45

Several days passed.
In those days, Lu had been struck down by high fever four times, and twice had nearly lost consciousness.
Each time, the Physician examined Lu with a grave expression, and I could only stand nearby, shifting my weight from foot to foot and praying.
‘Me, praying.’
I’d spent my whole life claiming no god existed.
A hollow laugh escaped me unbidden, but Lu’s recovery mattered to me all the more for it.
‘Because it’s my fault he got hurt.’
That’s what made my chest ache, what pushed me toward madness.
What if Lu died like this?
Then what would I do?
‘What would I do?’
The thought plunged everything into darkness. My stomach, already tender, twisted tighter still.
But I couldn’t afford to suffer like this.
Lu—who’d taken a bullet meant for me—was hovering between life and death.
“My, young lady. You’re still here?”
Mardi appeared then, carrying a water basin and cloth.
“I keep telling you to eat something… you’ll make yourself ill like this.”
“No. I can manage a little longer.”
An Agent of Kataclysm learns to endure through will alone, even for days without food.
“Besides, with Lu this sick, I can’t just sit around comfortable.”
“Don’t say such things. If my employer were here, he’d surely be upset to see you like this.”
In the past, I would have flatly denied it, but after experiencing Lu’s kindness multiple times already, I couldn’t bring myself to contradict it outright.
“I’ll head down to the dining room a bit later.”
“Yes, you must. Everyone’s worried about you.”
After nodding, I examined the water basin and cloth Mardi had brought.
“That’s to wipe Lu’s sweat, right?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Give it here. I’ll do it.”
At that, Mardi smiled softly and handed me the white cloth.
“That would be better, wouldn’t it?”
There was something in her tone—a knowing quality, as if she meant ‘I saw everything between you two’—but explaining myself seemed more trouble than it was worth, so I’d let her think what she wanted.
“Then I’ll be going. You must come down to the dining room later!”
“All right.”
After Mardi left, I soaked the cloth in water and wrung it out carefully.
Then, gently, I reached out and wiped the sweat beading on Lu’s forehead.
His skin was still fever-hot to the touch, though the worst seemed to have broken. His uneven breathing carried the mark of someone who couldn’t sleep peacefully, lost in pain.
After his forehead, I moved to his cheeks, then slowly to the nape of his neck, dabbing away the perspiration. And then…
I hesitated.
The sweat had soaked through into his clothes.
‘I shouldn’t undress him.’
Even so, removing his clothes felt wrong.
So instead, I lifted the edge of his upper garment slightly upward.
Taut abdominal muscle came into view.
I’d anticipated as much, but seeing it in person, his body was even more striking and beautifully defined.
Those sharply etched muscles showed me exactly who he was beneath the clothes—nothing inflated or theatrical about it.
A lean, efficient frame built through actual combat, not vanity.
……
But what covered that body was not unmarked skin.
Scars ran deep along the landscape of his flesh.
Faded wounds and blade marks crisscrossed everywhere—traces too numerous to catalog.
They weren’t erased with time; they were accumulated.
Without meaning to, I whispered aloud.
“That must have hurt.”
In the moment I spoke those words, understanding struck me.
This was what Mardi must have felt when she looked at me.
And I realized that this must be how Loo’s heart felt, worrying over me.
“So you worried about me that much.”
I smiled bitterly and drew in a long breath.
Loo’s scars spoke to the truth—he was no mere Agent, shaped only by training.
He too was someone who had fought to survive.
‘And yet he worries about me.’
What a ridiculous man, I muttered, wiping the sweat from his brow.
Then something caught my eye.
A gleaming pattern near his hipbone.
‘A tattoo?’
Several dots connected by delicate lines—like a constellation. And it shimmered with a faint luminescence.
It was different from any tattoo I’d seen before, but…….
‘Perhaps it’s fashionable now.’
Thinking nothing of it, I pulled his upper garment back down.
“Wake up soon.”
I spoke, gazing at his pale face.
“I have things to apologize for.”
There was much to apologize for.
First, for putting him through this because of me; for losing my temper in the Helm; for treating his worry as nothing; for moving about so carelessly—and so many other things besides.
And finally…….
‘For pretending not to see that you care for me.’
I wanted to apologize for all of it.
But I knew an apology wouldn’t ease my conscience.
Because I was already committing the greatest betrayal against Loo.
Hiding my true identity.
It was a betrayal of his care for me.
‘But I can’t reveal who I am.’
If I did, I would be betraying Baeillor.
In other words, I was walking a tightrope between two betrayals.
I buried my face in my hands and exhaled deeply.
No. This wasn’t the time to be consumed by such dark thoughts.
I could only hope and pray that Loo would wake.
So,
“……Open your eyes.”
Once more, I folded my hands and prayed.
Then it happened.
“I don’t think you have anything to apologize for.”
A familiar voice drifted down from above me.
“Or is it that you’ve grown tired of choosing a Wedding Dress? In that case, yes, you should apologize.”
I lifted my head sharply. There was Loo, looking down at me with a faint smile.
“You. You……!”
This bastard—waking up only to mock me again!
But that wasn’t what mattered most.
“I’ll call the Physician. Wait here!”
I cried out, hurrying to rise.
But.
“No.”
With strength that made one forget he’d been lying there as a patient mere moments ago, Loo pulled me back by the arm.
“I think I’ll fall asleep again, so please stay beside me, Char.”
“But still—”
“I don’t want the first thing I see when I open my eyes to be an old Physician’s face.”
He spoke in that gentle voice, saying something impossible to refuse…….
I wanted to protest, but the plea in his eyes left me no choice. I sat down beside him.
And immediately he said,
“Why does your face look so worn? Have you been skipping meals?”
So I laughed.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Why are you laughing?”
Loo asked, his brow furrowing slightly.
“No, it’s not—I wasn’t laughing at you.”
I shook my head hurriedly.
“I had a feeling you’d say something like that the moment you woke up.”
Lu twisted her lips slightly and turned her head to the side.
As she looked me over carefully, it seemed she was gearing up to scold me.
So I spoke quickly.
“Don’t even think about asking if I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m more worried about you, so if you say anything unnecessary, I’m really going to get angry.”
“You’re already angry now.”
“Lu.”
“All right. I’ll stop teasing.”
Lu giggled and winked at me with one eye.
She was so gaunt, lying there in bed like that — why did she still look so endearing?
I muttered under my breath that it was unfair to be handsome at that angle, then rested one cheek against the bed and tilted my head to look at her.
“Anyway, who was that girl who saved us?”
Wow. Jumping straight to suspicion the moment you open your eyes.
“A kid I met in the Slum a while back. I’d bought her bread a few times, and I guess she was waiting to say hello when she saw me board the ship. Then when the ship started sinking, she pulled us out.”
“For that to happen, it seemed like she fired a gun.”
“She borrowed it from the Security Forces.”
“A waterproof Shotgun?”
“Apparently they have them because of the Harbor.”
Thank goodness I’d prepared an answer in advance.
Though Lu’s suspicious gaze hadn’t changed one bit.
“Anyway, I gave the Security Forces a rough story about it.”
So I deliberately changed the subject, but this topic was just as uncomfortable.
“They said they’d find the culprit… but I doubt they’ll have any luck.”
I know who the culprit is.
It must be one of the Agents from Kataclysm.
More precisely, one of Baeillor’s direct subordinates who’d been watching me.
‘Whoever it is, once they’re caught.’
I’m going to beat them with a feather duster until the dust stops flying.
In any case, because Kataclysm is involved, I’m certain the culprit will never be found.
Which makes me feel all the guiltier.
All of Lu’s injuries can be traced back to Kataclysm.
‘And I’m an Agent for Kataclysm.’
My chest starts to ache again.
“The culprit?”
Then Lu spoke.
“I know who they are.”
“How could you possibly know?”
“I just do.”
Wait, what?
She shouldn’t know?
“It’s probably a secret organization within the Empire.”
…What?
“They’ve been targeting me, after all.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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