He Became King Sejong’s Lifelong Prime Minister - Chapter 48

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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What I Truly Want (2)

 

I immediately responded to Gyeoul-i’s call that broke the awkward silence.

 

“Yes.”

 

Gyeoul-i chuckled at my strangely quick response.

 

Well, we’re both proper adults who’ve had our wedding ceremony, yet here I am, a man frozen stiff on our wedding night – I must look pretty ridiculous.

 

I’m 22 years old, and Gyeoul-i just turned 20 this year, but now that the mat has been laid out for us, here I am frozen like an idiot.

 

Still, thanks to Gyeoul-i’s laughter, the tense atmosphere in the room relaxed a little.

 

Right, after we finish our first night together today, this will be something we’ll continue doing regularly, so even though I’m inexperienced, what good does it do to be this stiff?

 

Originally, there are times when a man should act like he knows what he’s doing, even if he doesn’t.

 

For example, right now when I’m facing my first night with the woman I love.

 

“Are you feeling a bit less nervous now?”

 

“Thanks to you, I’m a bit more relaxed. It must have looked pretty ridiculous, the groom on his wedding night frozen like a stone statue, right?”

 

I’ve already done Image Training for this thousands, tens of thousands of times throughout my previous and current life.

 

‘I can do this well.’

 

After steeling my resolve in my heart and taking several deep breaths in and out, my heart that had been pounding uncontrollably settled down a bit.

 

Right, let’s maintain composure. If I just do what I know, at least I won’t fail.

 

I won’t end up like that young master from a noble family I was close to in Yanggu, who got so excited that he had a nosebleed and ruined the whole mood, making it impossible to have their wedding night.

 

“My Lord, please accept a cup of alcohol that I pour for you.”

 

Gyeoul-i carefully poured alcohol into my cup. Whether in Joseon, Korea, or anywhere else in the world, it’s customary to rely on ‘liquid courage’ before the wedding night…

 

In front of us, naturally, there was a bottle filled with all kinds of fancy Anju and strong alcohol.

 

From the scent, this seems like Chrysanthemum Wine…

 

“Thank you.”

 

I drank the Chrysanthemum Wine that Gyeoul-i poured for me without hesitation.

 

Thanks to the fragrance and taste of chrysanthemums, it goes down smoothly, but even after just one cup I can clearly feel the alcohol…

 

If I drink this whole bottle, I think I’ll be in big trouble. A disaster of vomiting on the blankets on our first night could happen.

 

And perhaps Winter is as nervous as I am… Winter, who had never drunk even a single cup of alcohol in front of me before, drank the Chrysanthemum Wine together with me.

 

Being weak to alcohol, her face quickly turned a soft pink color like cherry blossom petals.

 

The two of us drank together several times in silence. As our bodies gradually heated up and I wanted to release my desires as quickly as possible…

 

Words that my older brother, who used to call himself a romance expert, had told me before came to mind.

 

‘Always start with sweet words for a woman who’s having her first time.’

 

‘A woman whose first experience is ruined can feel uncomfortable emotions toward men for life.’

 

‘Men tend to focus on physical pleasure, but women place more emphasis on everything they experience before the relationship.’

 

And a doctor from some red button application had also said:

 

‘Physical intimacy is an extension and completion of emotional exchange.’

 

Even in physical relationships, it’s not considered good just because the man alone satisfactorily fulfilled his desires.

 

Because love can’t be said to be going properly just because one side is satisfied.

 

“… Winter.”

 

“Yes, My Lord.”

 

“I like you.”

 

Winter’s face, which had turned red like a bright apple due to the burden and tension of having her first experience as a woman, plus the intoxication.

 

Her face had now turned so red it reminded me of red paint.

 

I gripped Winter’s hand tightly.

 

“Although our first meeting was at a gathering that Mandeok forced us into, I fell in love the moment I first saw you.”

 

… I don’t even know what I’m saying.

 

Is there any other crazy bastard besides me who confesses like this before spending the first night together?

 

Honestly, I’m saying these things because of the alcohol…

 

When I sober up from the alcohol and the excitement of the first night fades, I’ll probably find myself kicking off the blankets as I recall the words I said.

 

But it doesn’t matter. Because I saw a smile bloom on Gyeoul-i’s face that had been filled with tension.

 

“When I completed my duties as Jinhae County Magistrate and received royal grace to become a Jiphyeonjeon editor, I somehow skipped the Myeonsillye ceremony… Whether it was when that bastard Ryu Jeong-hyeon hated and persecuted me, or when the ministers of the Six Ministries burdened me with tremendous work and I suffered from overwork… I gained great strength thanks to your comfort by my side.”

 

“Did you really…”

 

“When you came to my house to help with the household affairs, and I thought of you welcoming me home when I returned exhausted from work, it gave me great strength. And in front of you…”

 

This is quite embarrassing. I’m saying it, but even as I say it, it’s quite embarrassing.

 

A rigid Joseon scholar would never say such words… but anyway, I want to approach Gyeoul-i as honestly as possible.

 

Although Gyeoul-i is called a concubine, we two are in love with each other.

 

And what is being married? When there are hardships, you bear them together, and when there are joyful things, you share the happiness together.

 

‘Being honest would be best, right?’

 

“Actually, in front of you, I wanted to be a more wonderful man than anyone else in Joseon. I was able to work hard because I wanted to show you the most wonderful man’s appearance in the world.”

 

Instead of answering with words, Gyeoul-i held my hand in return, conveying the positive meaning that she would accept my heart.

 

“I will be the most wonderful man in the world, at least in front of you, so you too…”

 

“Yes, My Lord. I too will strive to become the most lovable woman in the world in your eyes.”

 

I will become the most wonderful man in the world, so you become the most adorable woman in the world.

 

These are lyrics from a song I used to hear often before.

 

A story from a wedding song sung by some blue rabbit and a female pirate with impressive red hair. I heard those lyrics by chance, really by chance, but I thought they were quite romantic.

 

But I never thought that my mouth would embarrassingly utter those romantic lyrics.

 

“I will put on makeup every day only for My Lord, think only of My Lord while pondering what clothes to wear, prepare meals thinking about what food My Lord might like, and always strive to relieve My Lord’s weariness.”

 

“I’ve given up my official position, so what would make me weary?”

 

… Since I quit my official position, I no longer have to suffer as a waiting stone at Jiphyeonjeon, racking my brains.

 

Now I just need to hole up at home with Gyeoul-i and rest and play.

 

After safely getting through the first night, I just need to continue joyfully sharing intimate pleasures and live comfortably while spending the wealth I’ve accumulated…

 

But in my mind, random thoughts about official life kept surfacing one after another.

 

Just when the atmosphere that had finally improved was about to be ruined because of that.

 

Gyeoul-i looked at me intently, then let go of the hand she was holding and embraced me tightly.

 

“My Lord has devoted himself to the Royal Ancestral Shrine and State and the Common People without any personal gain whatsoever.”

 

“That’s just…”

 

I couldn’t bring myself to say those words. It’s not that I intend to hide it even from Gyeoul-i.

 

The fact that I’m an aspiring idler who dreams of just passing the civil service exam, returning to my hometown, and living quietly in marital bliss with a beautiful wife like Gyeoul-i.

 

If I said this, would Gyeoul-i be disappointed in me? Or would she just accept it as natural?

 

It would be a bit awkward to say I want to become the most wonderful man in the world and then immediately follow up by saying my dream is to be unemployed.

 

But the real reason I can’t bring myself to say ‘I want to resign and live comfortably’…

 

I think it’s because that’s not truly what I want either.

 

“When we were in Jinhae, Father always said this. Other County Magistrates value advancing in rank above all else, so during their terms they focus on preparing Gifts to send to their superiors, often putting care for the Common People on the back burner. However, My Lord gave up promotion for the sake of the Common People, going directly to the Market to focus solely on caring for the poor. You never took a single piece of ill-gotten wealth, and instead worried only about whether the Common People might go hungry.”

 

I don’t think that just because I’m a civil servant, I should abandon my family and prioritize state affairs first for the sake of public service before personal matters.

 

However, I do think that if you’re an official receiving the king’s salary, you should always check whether the Common People are going hungry or struggling with poverty.

 

Even if that process means missing opportunities for my own advancement.

 

In my previous life too, I had given up early on advancement and pension, passing the administrative exam and enduring until retirement to be scouted as a corporate executive and live lavishly while saving tons of retirement funds.

 

As a result, I was… driven to a dead-end position while being called crazy by others.

 

I have no regrets, but even now I haven’t been able to break that old habit.

 

“Even on the way here, when you saw the Common People working hard threshing Barley, you only worried about how to help them.”

 

“… That was…”

 

“I hope My Lord can fulfill the aspirations you desire. If My Lord wishes it, I think living comfortably in Yanggu County would be good too. However, I remember clearly.”

 

“Remember what?”

 

Gyeoul-i took my hand and placed it on her chest as she spoke.

 

“The smile you wore when I first visited My Lord’s residence in Hanyang, when you told me about how the Common People of Jinhae County joyfully offered various foods directly to My Lord. At that time, My Lord smiled so brightly as if you possessed everything in the world.”

 

… Why do I feel like returning to office after hearing those words?

 

I always dreamed of resigning from office and returning to my hometown, but wasn’t my true inner desire actually to return to duty and care for the Common People even more?

 

Even if it would be difficult for me, wouldn’t it be better to live caring for the Common People who struggle through hardship?

 

If I spend the rest of my life with my arms crossed, knowing full well how difficult things are, would I really be able to live with peace of mind and without regret?

 

Then the hardships of the Common People wouldn’t improve much at all.

 

If I take government office and endure the hardships, the lives of the Common People would change.

 

“This girl only wishes for My Lord’s happiness.”

 

After hearing her words, I made my decision.

 

… Yes, let me try just one more time.

 

When I had steeled my resolve, Gyeoul-i quietly began to untie the otgoreum of her jeogori.

 

Winter and I couldn’t get up until the sun was high in the sky the next day.

 

And a few days later, Father and Mother gave me similar persuasion.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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