Everyone but Me Is a Spy - Chapter 24

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 24
Nina’s declaration of familial love, accompanied by Magic Gun fire, stretched into the following day.
The false family members, all except Cheyson, sat in a row among the Garden shrubs with haggard faces after a single day.
“How long do you think it’ll take before she notices we’re hiding here?”
At Kathari’s listless murmur, Eksi clutched his head as though tearing at his own hair.
“We were caught in ten minutes last night after hiding in the Attic.”
“……We don’t have much time left.”
Natalisha, who replied as if she were on death’s door, rubbed her weary temples.
The moment they opened a door, Nina would cling to them like a shadow, chattering endlessly—she could feel blood trickling from her ears.
“Oh my? Where has everyone gone?”
At the sound of Nina’s bright, cheerful voice, all three of them went ashen.
They all decided to scatter and flee before Nina’s voice could draw any closer.
‘Emergency Disguise Technique!’
Kathari transformed into a servant in a flash and departed the scene with unhurried grace.
‘I am a flower bed.’
Eksi lay motionless in the shrubbery, pouring Special Solution over his head and summoning butterflies to conceal his body.
The two of them wielded techniques worthy of a Spy mission, desperate to evade Nina.
‘This is a Spy mission too.’
‘This one’s more critical.’
After Kathari and Eksi made their successful escape, Natalisha, who had been holding her breath, began climbing up the Gutter, clinging to it tightly.
‘Let me show what a seasoned sniper does when claiming the high ground.’
Fortunately, Nina, who had been looking around outside, was nowhere in sight.
Just as she was breathing a sigh of relief and scaling the Gutter smoothly.
Click.
The window beside her swung open, and Nina’s face popped right out.
“Found you.”
“……!”
Natalisha’s spine went rigid with a chill of dread.
“Aunt, what are you doing there?”
“W-well, this is a place I’m quite fond of.”
“Oh, I see. Then would you mind staying right there? I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think we’ve ever had a serious family discussion about what happened since Grandmother passed away—”
As Nina launched into her obsessive monologue, Natalisha found herself thinking that passing out would be preferable.
It had been a very long time since she’d been cornered like this.
‘That bastard Cheyson is probably wandering around the Townhouse without a care.’
Grinding her teeth, Natalisha finally realized she couldn’t simply drive Cheyson away under the pretense of a trip.
And so she had no choice but to resort to another method.
‘I’ll have to stage it as an accident and kill him.’
* * *
Nina, who had been busy trying to persuade her family, now had no time for such things.
Strangely enough, dangerous incidents began occurring around Cheyson all at once.
A gargoyle statue fell toward Cheyson’s head as he walked through the Garden.
“W-what on earth—!”
Cheyson tried to dodge nimbly with the skill of a seasoned Spy, but Adhesive Trap stuck to his feet, leaving him unable to move.
“Uncle! Watch out!”
Clang. Boom!
Nina, who had been looking for her family and witnessed the incident, immediately pushed the statue aside and fired the Magic Gun.
But the statue was too heavy; it only shifted slightly.
The Magic Gun that Joel had given her was a Magical Tool that fired shockwaves—it couldn’t even destroy the statue.
“No! Uncle!”
Panicked, Nina quickly turned the gun on Cheyson and blasted him away with the shockwave.
The gargoyle statue crashed down where he had been standing with a heavy thud.
As Cheyson’s body launched into the air while narrowly dodging the statue, he executed a perfect Falling Technique just before hitting the ground and leapt to his feet.
“Oh no!”
Immediately after, thinking this wouldn’t do, he tried to throw himself back down—only to lock eyes directly with Nina.
“……Oh, I’m done for.”
He pressed himself against the ground awkwardly, but even he knew it was too late.
Nina approached like a phantom, utterly silent, and stared down at Cheyson intently.
“Uncle, your Falling Technique is truly excellent. Would it be all right if I learned from you?”
“N-Nina, that is……”
Cheyson was well aware that Nina went around expounding to other Spies about the importance of family bonds and such matters.
She knew he was her real uncle, and so she understood the effort he was making to stay close to the family.
‘If I were lucky, I thought the other spies would give up on me once they grew bored…’
So when she thought about how easily Cheyson might be exposed as a fake uncle to her, a chill ran down her spine—far more unsettling than usual.
Nina studied Cheyson’s prone form carefully.
“Uncle. What you just did—that wasn’t the kind of skill training could produce. That came from experience piled layer upon layer. Which means…”
“…”
“This kind of thing happened to you frequently?”
“…!”
Caught without any room for excuses, Cheyson’s vision swam with darkness.
“Don’t worry, Uncle. I’ll protect you.”
Her next words left him bewildered.
“You’ll protect me…?”
“Yes. Because there are people in this world so unlucky that gargoyle statues fall on their heads from places they don’t even exist in this house. I’ll look after you carefully.”
Cheyson, suddenly become the living symbol of misfortune, could only nod in agreement.
“Th-thank you.”
After that, Nina shadowed Cheyson from wherever she could hide herself from sight.
She’d expected his misfortune to end within that single day, but sadly it did not.
A carriage would suddenly careen toward him.
“Uncle! Watch out!”
“Ahhhhh! My carriage has a star-shaped hole in it!”
Or he’d pick up a piece of fruit that inexplicably bore poison.
“It’s dangerous, Uncle!”
“In the Dining Room, one must not throw dishes or food. One must not poison the food either. Now we shall begin. Hidden blade technique. Practicing.”
Or dry grass beneath his feet would suddenly burst into flame.
“I’ll protect you, Uncle!”
“…At the very least, call the guards if a fire breaks out.”
It seemed as though the world itself was making a determined effort to kill Cheyson.
‘Uncle really does have terrible luck. At this rate, if he were truly thrown out of this house, he might stumble over a stone and not make it home. Whatever shall I do.’
Nina’s worry for Cheyson was considerable, but she discovered that protecting the family was a far more satisfying thing than she’d imagined.
‘Guarding the family—that is the protagonist’s virtue!’
When she had to throw herself out the window to save Cheyson from danger.
‘Protagonist Falling Technique.’
When she shot the spinning lawnmower flying at Cheyson with her Magic Gun.
‘Protagonist Shot.’
When she noticed a staggering drunk lurching toward Cheyson with a broken bottle.
‘Protagonist Kick!’
Thinking of it as something the protagonist must rightfully do made it feel effortless.
‘This is the true calling of a protagonist. The weight a protagonist must bear!’
Meanwhile, Joel, the sickly young master from the neighboring house, observed it all and methodically filled in the blanks of his observation journal.
Unaware of this, Nina’s Townhouse grew rowdier and more chaotic with each passing day.
In the end, it was Natalisha who broke first.
“Stop this at once!”
Natalisha, having summoned the spies to the Attic, seized Cheyson by the collar and bellowed.
It was a rare display from the cool, sharp-tongued Natalisha, who rarely raised her voice.
“Do you want to cling to this house in such a pathetic, groveling manner? I can’t bear to watch—repeatedly snatching lifelines from a mere child.”
“You give up, then. I made it clear: this opportunity is vital to me.”
Cheyson was not easily cowed.
Natalisha fixed him with a piercing glare before turning to address the other spies.
“Say something, all of you. Cheyson only causes problems here.”
“Is that so?”
“Perhaps, but I’m not well informed enough to say.”
But Kathari and Eksi’s responses were unconvincing.
“What are you doing? Do you all want to be candidates for expulsion as well?”
Kathari bristled at Natalisha’s sharp tone.
She’d harbored no warm feelings for her to begin with, and the sight of her wielding authority like some newly appointed leader was intolerable.
“Who do you think you are? To be honest, the real problem among us is you, Aunt. Uncle causes no real trouble!”
“Yes. No one in this household is normal. Only I have my wits about me.”
Eksi’s agreement prompted Kathari to shoot her a look of utter exasperation.
“Coming from the most gloomy person on the continent—don’t you dare call us family, you creep!”
“Your temperament is the creepier thing here.”
“Stop spouting nonsense and focus on the problem! You keep letting chances slip through your fingers for Cheyson to die naturally!”
It was then that Natalisha burst out shouting again.
Crash!
Nina appeared, having smashed through the locked door.
“Stop! Please, just stop!”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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