Editor’s Survival Guide - Chapter 55

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Editor’s Survival Rules Episode 55

 

ep10. Agent Seo’s First Time Hearing This (3)

 

“They took their own lives.”

 

“All 82 of them?”

 

“There were a few who had accidents though.”

 

“Accidents…”

 

“Just regular accidents, like car accidents or falling accidents.”

Just unfortunate accidents then?

“But since they developed insomnia and alcohol dependency after leaving the Special Zone, you can’t say these accidents were completely unrelated to the Special Zone.”

Heo Gu-yeong’s voice was neither sorrowful nor cold.

It was just calm, and that made it even more bitter.

“So just coming out alive isn’t everything. Even if the body is fine, if the mind is severely damaged, people eventually die.”

I thought I understood what he meant.

When I escaped from the Train Station and returned home, I often broke out in cold sweats.

There were many times I’d startle awake and check where I was.

The red fire extinguisher that I’d never noticed before suddenly caught my eye and filled me with disgust.

I too had my body at home but was still wandering the Train Station inside.

“People who have helplessly watched horrific deaths or fought tooth and nail for survival find it hard to return to their previous lives. Because they’ve learned that the world isn’t safe.”

Heo Gu-yeong, who had been muttering darkly, looked at me.

Then he changed the mood again and smiled brightly.

“In that sense, the citizens you rescued have really good prognoses. Experience is more important than the situation itself, and those people had positive experiences anyway.”

 

“Positive experiences?”

 

“The experience of realizing that even in such crazy spaces, people help each other. Such experiences can give people a sense of solidarity, trust, belonging, stability, efficacy, and so on.”

 

“I… see.”

 

“Oh, this is really important stuff. Without such beliefs, people can’t live properly. No matter how safe a place they’re in, no matter how much they have or how accomplished they are, they feel like ‘why live’ and become disillusioned and suffer.”

Heo Gu-yeong seriously advocating about how humans should live.

Come to think of it, the Post-management Team was said to be composed of counseling and psychology experts.

I could definitely sense that aspect.

“So I think the citizens you rescued will do well in the future. From a post-management perspective, nothing could be more grateful. We’re human too, so it’s painful when someone we were in charge of goes wrong.”

 

“…Is that why they all joined the Otter Rescue Association as a group?”

 

“I wanted to say that our motivation for joining was this wholesome…”

Heo Gu-yeong subtly appealed with a face specialized for meeting the in-laws, and I ended up laughing.

As expected of a psychological counseling expert.

To even see through my anguish about the Otter Rescue Association.

I shouldn’t let my guard down around this person just because he has a cheerful face like Kwak Jae-gyeom.

As I continued writing names on the otter in that state, Heo Gu-yeong spoke up again.

For some reason, his tone had become cautious.

“On the other hand, I was kind of curious.”

 

“…?”

 

“It was before you came, but you know, right? How really sensitive the Field Team people were.”

Another first time hearing this.

There is one psychopath in the Field Team, but the other people generally seemed pretty normal.

When I made a face showing I didn’t know, Heo Gu-yeong spoke as if surprised.

“Before you came, the Field Team people were really scary. They seemed like they’d explode if you touched them, to the point where we couldn’t even talk to them properly.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, really. Of course it’s understandable. They have to keep seeing horrible things, the responsibility is enormous, and they even have to risk their lives every time they’re deployed to the field, so it’s natural they’d become sensitive. But this atmosphere really improved after you came too.”

Me?

“You know, when something big happens, it’s comforting to have someone next to you who’s in even bigger trouble.”

Ah, in that way…

“Plus, since you mysteriously handle things well even in that state, the Field Team people are also having a new experience now. I think this is also positive dynamics, but um… honestly, I don’t understand how this is possible.”

Heo Gu-yeong stopped talking and briefly watched my reaction.

Then, as if telling a secret, he lowered his voice and asked.

“Are you really okay?”

 

“No, it’s quite burdensome.”

 

“No, I don’t mean the Otter Rescue Association story…”

At my immediate answer, Heo Gu-yeong sighed and continued.

“What I mean is, um, the Field Team people, especially the Response Team and Exploration Team members, are really strong people. The selection standards are high, and the training volume is extensive.”

That’s right. Nod-!

“But even those steel-like people have a hard time after risking their lives on missions in the Special Zone. Well, this is natural.”

It’s natural. Nod-!

“You also kept risking your life running around in the Special Zone, right?”

I did run. Nod-!

“But why are you mysteriously consistent?”

I was about to nod mechanically but turned my head to the side instead.

“I’m suffering plenty too.”

 

“No, no. I don’t mean you’re not having a hard time. I mean you don’t get swept away by it.”

Swept away?

“Other people get swept away by that flood or become exhausted from swimming, but you don’t seem to. Even if it looks like you’re being shaken around together, when you look again, you’re standing quietly in that spot. Like, you’re alone like a tree with deep roots.”

Is that so?

I stopped my hand and briefly pondered this psychology expert’s words.

But, well.

I think I’m getting by while being very flustered and stumbling around.

“I’m having a hard time too.”

 

“Of course. But your current situation isn’t something that can just pass with ‘having a hard time.'”

 

“Then what kind of situation should it be?”

 

“Rather than should be, normally people change. When people cross the line between life and death, they change in some way. But you seem to maintain your appearance without major changes, don’t you?”

Change?

I’m confident I’ve gained some muscle compared to before, but this isn’t content a psychology expert would be curious about, so excluding that.

My job, lifestyle, and salary have also changed, but these are external things.

Other changes are, um…

Even I feel there aren’t really any.

When I nodded again, Heo Gu-yeong nodded back as if he knew it.

“Right? That’s what wasn’t typical. So I had all sorts of thoughts while watching you.”

 

“All sorts of thoughts?”

 

“Yes. Like, are you really okay, you must be okay since you keep seeing Director Kim Woo-in for treatment, but how are you so fine, or maybe you’re an incredible psychopath with no fear at all…”

 

“…Am I that strange?”

Full-scale treatment as a strange person.

This is the second time after Baek Sa-ra.

At this point, I should seriously doubt my strangeness…?

“Um, no. Rather than strange, you’re more on the deep side. This definitely isn’t ordinary either though…”

Fortunately, Heo Gu-yeong shook his head at my strangeness.

Instead, he thought about something deeply, then carefully began.

“By any chance, do you already have it?”

 

“Have what?”

 

“The experience of collapsing to rock bottom.”

 

“…”

I was at a loss for words.

Instead, I was reminded again.

Of that performance I saw at the National Theater.

I answered while choosing my words, having been hit quite accurately.

“There are dark periods in life, after all.”

 

Perhaps sensing something in my answer, Heo Gu-yeong smiled brightly.

 

“That’s a relief. To think you’ve already passed through it.”

 

Passed through?

 

“You’ve worked hard. I’ll continue to support you going forward.”

 

Heo Gu-yeong’s words were ambiguous, as if I could understand them but not quite.

 

But I didn’t bother asking again and just nodded.

 

* * *

 

I finished signing even the last otter.

 

“Wow, thank you so much.”

 

Heo Gu-yeong beamed as he gathered up the glass otters.

 

Ding-!

 

Just then, an alarm sounded from Heo Gu-yeong’s tablet.

 

“It says survivor number 84 has also boarded the return vehicle.”

 

Things are going smoothly for once.

 

I was thinking this when I remembered something from the past and asked Heo Gu-yeong.

 

“Did you also give sleeping pills to Choi Sang-eun?”

 

“Huh? No, of course not! We just block their vision and transport them in an official vehicle.”

 

“Then why did you give them to me…?”

 

“Ah, right. You fell asleep and went home that time…”

 

“…Don’t tell me I was the only one you drugged unconscious?”

 

At my question, Heo Gu-yeong’s expression became troubled.

 

Then, as if unable to withstand my gaze, he nodded slightly.

 

Really? It wasn’t something you did to everyone?

 

But why me? What did I do wrong?

 

I was cooperative. I argued a little, but compared to Choi Sang-eun who held out for 5 days, I was incredibly compliant!

 

“Really? Why, no, why did Team Leader Cha Si-eon come out when I was going home in the first place? Your jobs are completely different.”

 

While I was at it, I brought up the part I had roughly glossed over.

 

Cha Si-eon was the team leader of Field Team Response Team 3.

 

Though I didn’t realize it at the time, there was absolutely no reason for him to handle survivor interviews as well.

 

“Well, what power do we have? When the Field Team says they’ll handle it directly, we have to step aside.”

 

The Field Team?

 

“Besides, with you, it was awkward for us to do anything.”

 

“…?”

 

“That 200 million back then was the personal money of the Field Team section chief and Response Team 3 team leader. It would have been awkward for us to deliver that, sooo… Agent, did you perhaps not hear about this?”

 

Heo Gu-yeong was complaining weakly when he looked at me and asked urgently.

 

I hadn’t heard.

 

This was truly the first I’d heard of it.

 

“Not at all.”

 

“Aaah…! Agent, please don’t say I told you this. If you didn’t know, just keep pretending you don’t know…!”

 

Heo Gu-yeong pleaded in panic.

 

But right now, that wasn’t what was important to me.

 

“Are you saying the reward money I received was the personal funds of Section Chief Kwon Mu-seop and Team Leader Cha Si-eon?”

 

When I asked seriously, Heo Gu-yeong repeatedly slapped his mouth with his palm.

 

I waited quietly for an answer, and Heo Gu-yeong eventually spilled everything.

 

“Yes, they each contributed 100 million…”

 

Of all the strange stories I’d heard today, this was the strangest.

 

* * *

 

The life-saving allowance I received after becoming an agent.

 

900,000 won per person.

 

It was a bonus outside my regular salary, so it was decent money, but compared to the first reward I received, it was ridiculously small.

 

The money I received at Train Station was a whopping 200 million.

 

It was the reward for rescuing one middle school student named Lee Sol.

 

The difference was huge, but I thought it was just due to the difference in status.

 

I was a civilian when I saved Lee Sol, and became an agent afterward.

 

I figured rewards and allowances would naturally be different.

 

But thinking about it again, it never made sense from the beginning.

 

The state gives 200 million for saving one person?

 

I’d never heard of such a case.

 

So the Management Bureau’s civilian compensation that I asked Heo Gu-yeong about directly was a maximum of 63 million won.

 

Even this wasn’t for life-saving but money given only for ‘meaningful sacrifice for the country.’

 

Then what the hell was it?

 

Why did these two people, Cha Si-eon and Kwon Mu-seop, even dig into their personal funds to push this large sum on me?

 

At that point, I was a complete civilian.

 

There was no sign or pretext for continuing a relationship with the Management Bureau.

 

In fact, Cha Si-eon kicked me out as if we’d never meet again.

 

This really meant they only intended to give me money…

 

I rubbed my face with my hands and looked out the window.

 

The artificial sky outside was depicting the nightsky of a big city, pitch black without a single star.

 

I should sleep today and think about it tomorrow.

 

…But 200 million, isn’t that closer to a thank-you payment than a reward?

 

I fell asleep thinking this.

 

But I woke up again before long.

 

Weeeeeng-!

 

From the eerie siren sound that suddenly rang out.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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