Editor’s Survival Guide - Chapter 111
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Editor’s Survival Rules Episode 111
ep17. Circulating (7)
There’s a saying that you reap what you sow.
If that’s true, then my current suffering might be karma for giggling at those old Management Bureau photos yesterday.
Click, click-
High schooler Seo Do-un lighting up a cigarette.
And Cha Si-eon looking at me with eyes that had much to say.
I was too drained to feel any more shame and quietly muttered.
“I was a teenager who needed attention.”
“You looked like you needed guidance more than attention.”
“I acknowledge that point too.”
At the mention of guidance, our gazes naturally turned toward the driver’s seat.
There sat a mass that had yet to reveal its true form.
“He was someone who looked after my studies. He was my father’s employee, and his main job was managing my grades.”
At my words, the graphic error sitting in the driver’s seat transformed into a man in a suit.
A man who had barely taken shape but wasn’t moving yet.
So I added an explanation.
“He took good care of my assignments and academy schedules, but he never scolded me for other things. Even when I smoked in the car, he just cleaned up after me.”
As Cha Si-eon said, I was a kid who needed guidance.
But there was no adult around to tell me that smoking was harmful.
No one told me that smoking as a kid would ruin my lungs.
No one said I’d suffer when trying to quit.
Back then, I couldn’t even hear such simple advice.
Sure enough.
The man in the suit spoke to me in a kind voice.
-You worked hard today.
Just a perfunctory greeting.
Instead of responding, high schooler Seo Do-un just blew out a long stream of cigarette smoke.
The man then pressed the car’s air circulation button and gripped the steering wheel.
As he started driving, the man asked in his still-kind voice.
-By the way, did something happen at school?
-Why are you asking when you already know?
Hmm, right.
Back then, I wasn’t the type who’d listen to lectures anyway.
And was it just my imagination?
Team Leader Cha seemed to be under severe stress.
Cha Si-eon kept taking deep breaths beside me for some reason.
This too, well.
High schooler Seo Do-un’s insolence wouldn’t be easily acceptable to this stickler for rules…
Meanwhile, the man in the driver’s seat continued speaking, unfazed by my attitude.
-I got a text from your homeroom teacher. Said you had some trouble with Politician’s Nephew.
-So what?
If I had nothing to excuse, I should at least explain.
But high schooler Seo Do-un didn’t even want to do that and brazenly asked back.
-His uncle isn’t even in office anymore. Do we need to worry about it?
“I think this is the adults’ fault.”
I quickly got ahead of whatever Cha Si-eon was about to say.
“How badly must the adults around him have failed to watch their words in front of a kid for a high schooler to say such things? This is entirely due to his environment.”
Just look at this.
Not ‘did you fight with a classmate’ but ‘did you have trouble with Politician’s Nephew.’
A worldview where it’s fine for a high schooler to chain-smoke behind adults, but ‘having trouble with Politician’s Nephew’ is problematic.
What could a kid learn in such an environment?
Perhaps accepting my argument.
Cha Si-eon muttered quietly.
“It’s amazing you turned out human.”
“…I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Even in this situation, high schooler Seo Do-un displayed extreme rudeness.
-If you’re going to report to my father, go ahead. He’ll make the judgment.
-No, Do-un. I just asked because we can’t have blemishes on your school record. Sorry.
An adult apologizing for a fault that wasn’t his.
And a boy who wasn’t scolded despite being in the wrong.
Viewing it as an observer, it was truly a bizarre scene.
I looked at teenage Seo Do-un with complicated feelings.
My past self, smoking with the expression of someone who’d lived through everything, despite being just a high schooler.
I was so sharp-edged back then.
Perhaps that’s why no one approached me during those days.
Neither bullies nor those wanting to be friends.
I didn’t bother approaching others either.
Because I had things to do.
My time and energy were limited, and those around me were competitors anyway.
So rather than waste time on pointless socializing, it was better to solve one more problem.
Useful connections would come when I got to university.
I’d meet people of the right caliber there.
…That’s what I thought, foolishly.
High schooler Seo Do-un stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray.
The man who’d been watching through the rearview mirror then said.
-I’ll wake you when we reach the academy. Get some rest.
As if that was exactly what he’d planned, high schooler Seo Do-un buried his head in his collar and closed his eyes.
That’s right.
I once lived in such a greenhouse.
A greenhouse made of transparent ice.
* * *
Crackle- Buzz-!
This space had more noise than the previous ones.
Static like a broken radio turned to maximum volume.
The space’s silhouette shaking as if about to explode at any moment.
“This place is…”
Cha Si-eon looked around as if surveying for danger.
But there was no need.
Because this place was…
“It’s my room.”
Just my ordinary room.
As I spoke matter-of-factly, the space that had been shaking like an earthquake suddenly stopped.
Then the cracks in the space disappeared and a spacious room appeared.
And in the corner of the room, something still writhing.
That was the source of the vibrations that had been shaking the entire space.
“That’s me after I bombed the college entrance exam…”
With my confession, high schooler Seo Do-un revealed himself.
That cocky kid was leaning against the wall, crying quietly.
Oh my.
To think I have to see such a pathetic sight again from an observer’s perspective.
Seo Do-un, the test-taker crouched in the corner of his room, had his face buried in both hands.
That alone was pathetic enough, but noise was crackling around him.
As if representing how messed up his mental state was at that time.
Cha Si-eon looked at that noise and asked back.
“Is he acting like that because he ruined the exam?”
“Yes… I had stomach cramps during the exam and completely messed it up.”
Cha Si-eon looked puzzled at my answer.
“Aren’t you from a pretty good university?”
“I did get into a school that’s considered decent, in the end.”
If that’s the case, it wasn’t a complete failure, so why is he so pathetic?
…Cha Si-eon looked at me with such eyes.
I swallowed a sigh and continued speaking.
“But I couldn’t get into the place I originally aimed for. My father wanted me to become a judge from a national university…”
-Sniff, sob…
High school senior Seo Do-un began moving along with my confession.
That Seo Do-un was crying while stifling his breathing.
With Cha Si-eon’s bewilderment added to that, I was going absolutely crazy.
On one hand, feeling awkward about this itself seemed to mean I was still hung up on this old matter, so I decided to just empty my mind.
Right, that’s all in the past already.
Besides, once we leave here, Cha Si-eon won’t even remember it.
So there’s no need to feel embarrassed.
I muttered while half-giving up like this.
“My father was quite, well, great in many ways. So listening well to father’s words was our family motto.”
“Then couldn’t you just retake the exam?”
Is there a need to cry like the world has ended just because you failed an exam?
He’s not even a little kid, but someone about to become an adult.
A guy from a wealthy family too.
…Cha Si-eon looked at me with such nuance.
This is why normal people are like this.
“Team Leader, do you think the words ‘become a judge from a national university’ really just mean to become a judge from a national university?”
“What do you mean?”
“The real meaning of those words is to become the best possible human being.”
Cha Si-eon looked at me with eyes that didn’t understand.
But even if he looks at me like that, what I said is true.
At least according to my father’s way of speaking.
“So ‘a son who’s a judge from a national university’ is the concrete form of ‘a son who can have a comparative advantage anywhere you put him.’ That’s why I was already wrong at that point. Even if I later got into the school I aimed for through retaking or transferring, the fact that I was inferior to those who passed as current students wouldn’t change.”
“…?”
Cha Si-eon still had a face that said he didn’t understand.
Looking at that uncomfortable face, I added jokingly.
“You probably don’t understand much, but there are families like that too. I only found out after being born into one.”
“So is that memory properly organized?”
Cha Si-eon asked, pointing to the distorted surroundings of high school student Seo Do-un.
Around the sobbing Seo Do-un, noise was still crackling.
And that noise flickered as if it would cause a power outage, shaking the space unstably.
So I could understand why Team Leader Cha kept being on guard.
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※Precautions※
Those with past experiences or traumas they haven’t overcome yet should not carelessly approach their own 「Life History」.
↳ Kim Ji-an : When facing unresolved memories, you may be overwhelmed by the emotions of that time.
↳ Jo Eun-bi : What happens if you’re overwhelmed?
↳ Kim Ji-an : Trauma reactions like emotional disturbance, cognitive impairment, panic attacks, etc. can surface, and in severe cases, a phenomenon called 「Memory Overflow」 occurs.
↳ Jo Eun-bi : What specifically is the 「Memory Overflow」 phenomenon?
↳ Kim Ji-an : That record was deleted so I can’t say exactly…
↳ Cha Si-eon : Immediately after 「Memory Overflow」 occurred, minor abrasions and equipment loss were reported among field agents. Also, several agents who were accompanying the subject of the 「Life History」 ended up transferred to their own 「Life History」. Considering all this, it’s presumed that an impact similar to being swept by a storm or waves occurs.
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Right.
Facing unresolved memories, so-called trauma, in a 「Life History」 is dangerous.
Not just because it’s embarrassing and unpleasant, but because it causes a phenomenon called 「Memory Overflow」.
And the state of high school student Seo Do-un here right now is clearly not normal.
-Sob, ugh…
Seo Do-un wailing as if the country had fallen.
Crackle- Buzz-
The noise continuously occurring around him.
Moreover, we don’t even know specifically how the phenomenon called 「Memory Overflow」 progresses.
So Cha Si-eon kept being wary of my precarious past self.
“Yes, I’m fine now. It’s already from a long time ago, and I’m no longer a high school student who has to watch my father’s mood.”
I spoke lightly, partly to reassure Team Leader Cha.
“And my father was a decent person in his own way. He lived more diligently than anyone, and there were aspects worth learning from in that regard. Thanks to him, I was born with a silver spoon and lived well.”
And those things have nothing to do with who I am now.
That silver spoon fell from my mouth long ago, and my life has already moved on to the next chapter.
Most importantly, I like my life as an editor.
It’s also more rational to live the present well rather than dwelling on the past.
“So this scene also feels like watching a past life. It doesn’t really bother me at all.”
I really thought this way.
But then.
A quiet voice interjected into our conversation.
-You’re good at lying.
The one who said that was none other than me.
It was the crying Seo Do-un.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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