Don't Feed the Professor! - Chapter 17

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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It seemed my early hesitation had cost me points. Unusually competitive all of a sudden, I jammed the button on the screen asking if I wanted to continue.
Like a typical arcade game, Bad City allowed me to keep playing as long as I had Life remaining.
A tinny chime rang out, and the next stage unfolded to a pitifully thin musical accompaniment—a maze of back alleys set against the same cityscape.
Helmet cut through the enemies with practiced efficiency, just as he had in the previous stage.
[STAGE CLEAR!]
[TOTAL SCORE …… B+]
B-plus. Not bad at all.
I jabbed the button like a man possessed. The distant skyscrapers in the background had crept noticeably closer.
I cleared the next stage, then the one after that, in rapid succession.
After cycling through B’s and B-pluses, I finally hit an A.
When the words “FINAL STAGE” flashed across the screen, I looked up in surprise, glancing around. Just how long had I been playing?
But Goldilocks had no clock, no windows—time was impossible to gauge.
Another tinny chime; I gripped the joystick again. Uneasy though I felt, I couldn’t leave the arcade without finishing the last stage.
Helmet stood now at the threshold of the skyscraper.
Zing.
[FLAMETHROWER ACQUIRED――!!]
Helmet torched the doorkeeper with the Flamethrower and stepped inside the tower.
The lobby teemed with mobsters. None of them stood a chance against him.
After clearing the lobby, he rode the elevator up to the upper floors. A hulking Mafia boss was waiting in a lavish office, unmistakably the final encounter.
The relentless boss was a handful, but Helmet proved more than equal to the task.
Tap, tap—I suddenly realized my palms were aching from how hard I’d been mashing the buttons.
Zing.
[GRENADE ACQUIRED――!!]
This time, a Grenade. A flash detonated, flames erupted. I spun Helmet around the office in dizzying circles, lobbing grenades without pause.
And finally,
[MISSION COMPLETE!]
Mission Complete. The boss crumpled to the cold marble floor, and Helmet alone remained standing.
It was as I felt a brief flush of accomplishment mixed with a nagging sense of emptiness that—
―That’s it!
“Huh?”
―Goddammit, that’s it!
The voice came from inside the screen—from my character, Helmet himself.
Wait…… didn’t he seem…… a bit closer than before?
Bang!
I stumbled backward with a yelp.
It wasn’t my imagination. Helmet had just smashed the screen with his rifle stock.
Bang!
Was this a glitch? Or could the screen actually be—
―
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
―
Finally, I can get out!
Bang!
Helmet was laughing at me from beyond the screen. Through the face shield I could make out his gleaming eyes and mouth stretched wide open.
He spoke.
―
What, you’re just a kid?
Crack, shatter!
The screen shattered, and a black hand reached through, seizing my wrist.
―
Well, thanks for your hard work anyway.
He said.
“Now it’s your turn.”
“What do you—!”
Before I could protest, I felt my body lift with a whoosh into empty air. A powerful force was dragging me toward the shattered screen.
I looked around desperately, but there was nothing to grab. Helmet, now half-emerged from the arcade cabinet, was considerably larger than me.
‘Wait, is he pulling me in, or trying to climb out?’
Helmet seemed equally uncertain, as if his impatience was making him attempt both at once.
There was no way he could maintain his footing like this.
With a decisive motion, I pulled both arms tight against my chest and let myself collapse backward onto the floor.
In the instant his grip weakened from the sudden lurch, I yanked my right arm free and pulled something from my hoodie pocket.
Click-click-click—as I powered up the Stun Gun, it crackled to life with a bright blue flash.
“Wh—what the?!”
Startled by the weapon’s unexpected ferocity, I nonetheless pressed the Stun Gun against the exposed part of Helmet’s neck.
“Graaaaa――aaaaahhhhh!!”
A crackling scream tore from him, his body convulsed, and smoke wisped from his skin. Then he went limp, slumping across the cabinet’s edge into unconsciousness.
‘He’s really out cold…… right?’
I staggered to my feet, breathing hard. But before I could catch my breath, something heavy came thundering toward me.
Still dazed, I spun around. Bear Suit stood there utterly motionless, flyers in hand, staring at me and Helmet in turn. His face was rigid as taxidermy, but his shoulders were trembling violently.
“Um…… I mean…….”
I found myself making excuses.
“Your arcade cabinet ate my money just now.”
Growl.
The flyers dropped from Bear Suit’s hands and scattered everywhere.
Deep growl.
“That’s…… quite the character concept you’ve got. Well, I’ll just be going—”
Raaaaaagh.
The bear pointed a thick paw at the arcade cabinet. He seemed to be trying to say something.
“Sorry, I can’t quite make out what you’re—”
Gruaaaagh.
“……?”
Bear Suit hugged his own neck with both arms. After sputtering a series of grotesque noises—gagging sounds, choking sounds—he finally managed to speak to me, frozen as I was.
“R-r-rule…….”
Rule?
I had no idea what he meant, but a bad feeling gripped me. I turned and tried to slip away.
But as expected, Bear Suit didn’t let me go. As he lumbered forward with heavy thuds, reaching out with his paws, I quickly pulled out the Baby Food Encyclopedia again.
“Stay back.”
Sparks flew, but Bear Suit was unbothered.
I leaped aside and simultaneously jammed the Stun Gun at the arcade cabinet. Bang, crackle-bang—violent sparks erupted with a deafening sound.
This wasn’t part of my plan. Looking at the now-ruined arcade cabinet, I muttered to myself.
Grrrrrowl.
Bear Suit looked genuinely furious now. I didn’t hesitate—I turned and ran.
I bolted past the basketball machine, the punching machine, the air hockey machine, searching desperately for the exit.
Thud, bang—Bear Suit charged after me, his massive frame bulldozing the arcade machines aside. Several toppled under the weight, crashing to the floor in clouds of dust.
Finally, the entrance appeared between the rows of cabinets. I nearly skated across the checkered tiles toward it.
The moment I passed through the neon arch, the lights washed over me, and my vision flooded white.
‘It’s so bright……!’
When I opened my eyes—squeezed shut from the glare—the first thing I saw was sunlight pouring through slatted blinds. Disoriented by the sudden change in atmosphere, I looked around wildly.
Soft country music drifted through the air. Orange and red upholstered chairs and metal-trimmed tables were arranged in neat rows.
Patrons sat at several tables eating or leisurely sipping coffee. Beyond the orange blinds lay a sprawling parking lot, and a massive signboard stood beside the road.
Goldilocks Arcade & Diner
I was still standing stunned when someone grabbed me from behind and spun me around.
“Uh!”
“You trash the place like that and then try to run——?”
A man with hair soaked in sweat glared at me with bloodshot eyes. The bear head was still tucked under his arm.
So that was Bear Suit. At least the person inside was just an ordinary human—I had to count my blessings for that. But why had he only made strange noises earlier?
“Get back inside.”
“What?”
The man dragged me by force. He was trying to haul me back into the arcade section.
“Let…… go of me……!”
His grip was powerful, and the fake claws dug into my skin, stinging sharply. I tried to twist my arm free, but it was hopeless.
Should I use the Stun Gun again? But knowing he was a human like me, unlike Helmet from before, I hesitated to use a weapon on him.
“Goddammit, just get inside!”
As I resisted, the man spun back to face me and shouted. In that moment, I realized he wasn’t angry—he was terrified.
I didn’t waste the opening.
“Calm down and explain first. I’ll cooperate however I can.”
The man’s eyes wavered. Constantly glancing behind him, he whispered urgently.
“The person who wins becomes ‘it.’ Break the Rule, and we all die.”
That was when—
“Wondering why he’s in such a hurry?”
A hand suddenly appeared from behind, pulling the bear’s furry paw away from my shoulder.
“Since when do you set up tricks like this?”
The one asking, in an impossibly casual tone, was Mallo.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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