Dispatches from the Graduate School of Ghost Stories - Chapter 36

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Urban Legends and Graduate School (36)
Resignation Vlog (5)
Bloodshot-eyed employees hunched over their desks inside the office, oblivious to Yu Jong-hwa slipping through the hallway.
[Left stairwell.]
The security guard making his rounds was easy enough to avoid thanks to the intern ghost’s helpfully mailed directions. Yu Jong-hwa reached the third floor without making a sound.
He opened the door to Room 315 slowly, and the cold blue glow of an active monitor reflected off the wall. The place still felt oppressive. He tensed, scanning the desk area in case the ghost was sitting in the chair, but saw nothing.
Ring-ring-ring…
An old-fashioned telephone’s default ringtone blared harshly.
Yu Jong-hwa hesitated, then picked up the receiver.
A man’s voice crackled through, distorted and filled with static.
[Thank you so much for coming. Truly, I’m grateful.]
“Well… I don’t have much to offer, so please don’t expect too much. I’ll do what I can, though.”
The ghost bowed profusely and thanked him repeatedly. The sheer gratitude suggested something serious, but that was the problem—Yu Jong-hwa’s capabilities were frankly minimal.
He rarely visited temples, and he carried no talismans or prayer beads.
All he’d ever learned was the Bootleg Exorcism, picked up secondhand from seniors and instruction manuals.
“There’s no sprinkler system here… right?”
He pulled out the flamethrower. The ghost panicked, its ringtone erupting frantically, and Yu Jong-hwa realized the office was far too cramped for arson.
As a backup plan, he settled on a makeshift ritual with a lighter. He loaded salt onto an old office chair with the padding torn away, then lit it. Without oil, the salt just gave off acrid smoke without catching fire properly.
“You still there?”
[Did you honestly think that would work?!]
“Calm down! I’ve still got more techniques!”
The office walls began to shake violently. Yu Jong-hwa felt a chill and caught the smell of mold growing stronger. Park Min-gu had asked him to try anything, yet somehow the ghost was angry at him. It felt unfair.
Yu Jong-hwa pulled out the Ritual Vessel Set and arranged an offering table. Without fruit or frozen food this time, the setup looked pathetic. Still, he lit candles and poured liquor with genuine effort. Naturally, nothing happened. He attempted to mimic shamanic ritual and mumbled prayers halfheartedly. The result was identical.
As time wore on, the ghost’s patience evaporated quickly, and soon it grew visibly irritated every time Yu Jong-hwa attempted anything. He set down the Small Gong and Taepyeongso he’d been playing and felt despair watching the office shake like an earthquake.
“I already told you—I can’t do anything.”
[You don’t even have the will to help! You’ll follow me around resenting me forever!]
“What? That’s not fair! You’re being unreasonable! Wait—let me email my seniors. Just help me send it. They’re far more experienced and capable than me. They’ll figure something out.”
He played his final card. Yu Jong-hwa typed out a detailed email to his seniors describing exactly how much danger he was in, and the intern ghost sent it beyond the Urban Legend Phenomenon. Of course, the ghost had no idea it was one of the few beings at DNA Logistics capable of reaching the outside world.
[To my esteemed seniors, this is Kim Jong-sik.
I’m in serious trouble. Suddenly, someone claiming to be the Chairman of DNA Logistics showed up. I’m still trapped here. I managed to avoid a Lifetime Employment Contract, but now I have to work part-time. When the Chairman is around, midnight never changes—the entire notification time stays frozen. That’s why I still haven’t taken the subway. What do I do?
Anyway, I need a way to kill the ghost. That picture attached to our earlier email? It’s actually the intern ghost who died here, and they want to resign. I promised them a late-night train ticket to Seoul if they’d help! Please!]
The disjointed email was sent.
The intern’s laptop clock stayed fixed at midnight, but outside, dawn had already broken. Naturally, an immediate response was impossible. If luck was bad, the seniors might not even be at work yet. He’d probably have to wait a day or two. Yu Jong-hwa steeled himself for an all-nighter and cracked open a Matcha Latte, but within five minutes, the ghost was pestering him again.
[Why haven’t they responded?]
“Just… give it time! Only a few minutes have passed! Have some patience! Want some of this?”
[No! I can’t drink even if I wanted to! I’m already dead—suicide!]
“Ah, right… it’s actually pretty good. Enjoy the thought of it.”
Yu Jong-hwa lightly clinked the can against the receiver to make a toast. The ghost immediately exploded in fury, screaming at him to find a solution right now.
Yu Jong-hwa, equally enraged, raised his voice to match.
“Fine! I’ll figure out my own escape! You handle yours!”
[Are you seriously going to run away?]
As he reached for the door handle to leave, he heard a lock engage with a sharp click. Damn—he’d entered the ghost’s territory of his own volition, and regret now came too late.
“This is too much! Of course they’ll take time to reply! It’s already dawn in the real world!”
[The real world…? What do you mean…?]
“Oh, no—you must’ve misheard.”
[I’ve heard that word before. One of the previous interns used to say things like “reality” or “outside”… don’t you find that strange? When the Chairman is here, the notification time never changes from midnight. Why does DNA Logistics keep hiring interns, only for them all to vanish after a single day? And why don’t the other employees remember any of them? Why…?]
“Maybe the company’s just weird. Let’s just focus on quitting, okay?”
[…If only I hadn’t owed the Chairman such a debt, I would’ve quit long ago. I wanted to rest. So badly. This place is really… truly… unbearable.]
Yu Jong-hwa realized he’d made a terrible mistake. Cold sweat dripped down his back.
The ghost’s voice, now aware of the absurdity, had turned harsh and clipped, as though a different person had seized the phone.
The rot-stench in the office grew noticeably thicker, stinging his nostrils.
He forced his tone to remain calm and pressed on.
“What kind of debt? Did you borrow a lot of money…?”
[I caused trouble for the company. An irredeemable debt.]
“Surely not. Did you set a fire like I did?”
[…No. I died at work.]
“That’s all…?”
[Yes. I hanged myself in the middle of the corridor and blocked the employees’ passage. That’s why I signed the Lifetime Employment Contract.]
Yu Jong-hwa’s face twisted in fresh disappointment at the Chairman’s character.
Cracks began spreading across the intern’s old laptop screen as the whole building shook. Yu Jong-hwa realized the entire structure was trembling and felt a spike of dread. If this kept up, the Chairman would notice something was wrong.
[That’s right, it’s strange! I became a corpse and disrupted company operations, and that’s why I was punished by the Chairman. But I had a Lifetime Employment Contract written up from the moment I was hired. It doesn’t make sense! The more I think about it, the more confused I get……! Am I really dead? I can’t remember why it was so painful…….]
“That’s…….”
You are nothing but an Urban Legend Phenomenon, and this Urban Legend Phenomenon was born from your death.
Yu Jong-hwa sank into contemplation without telling the ghost the truth.
Before coming here, he recalled the origins of the DNA Logistics Urban Legend Phenomenon that his seniors had told him about. The story went that it was a company cursed by an intern who had committed suicide due to workplace harassment. In the end, Park Min-gu was bearing the most crucial core of this Urban Legend Phenomenon against his own will.
Therefore, the only way for Park Min-gu to quit was for this Urban Legend Phenomenon to disappear entirely.
And that was something the Chairman would never permit.
Powerless as he was, Yu Jong-hwa had no choice but to placate the ghost and escape the immediate crisis.
“Calm down! Please, calm yourself. I’ve asked my seniors about this, so we should be able to find a solution!!”
[Why are the faces of all the other employees so blurry? They spend their lives focused solely on inflicting the worst on each new intern. That’s right! I’m sure of it! But I’m different! I’ve been here alone, consistently as ‘Park Min-gu.’ Even when no one was around, that is—even when the Chairman wasn’t here……!]
Park Min-gu shrieked wildly, and Yu Jong-hwa fell into a panic.
The fluorescent bulb shattered. Glass shards rained down across the floor, and the office plunged into darkness.
The only thing emitting light was the laptop, and even that flickered as if it would die at any moment. Clutching the laptop to his chest, Yu Jong-hwa prayed desperately for his seniors to contact him quickly.
What would become of an Urban Legend Phenomenon that doubted its own existence?
There were beings like Baal-zebul who knew the other party didn’t belong to the category of ‘Urban Legend Phenomenon,’ but he seemed to be a profoundly bizarre entity from the beginning, making him different from Park Min-gu. Like the snake at Yeongrok Elementary School, it might become possible for one to think of oneself as a splendid individual, but that seemed to be the case only if one was very fortunate.
And Park Min-gu was neither fortunate nor remarkable. He merely despaired and raged upon realizing even a slight sense of incongruity. Better to confront the Chairman directly!
[I’ve been here the longest, so why must I live forever as an intern with no power? It’s all because of the Chairman!]
The runaway ghost thrashed about as if unable to hear anything.
At this rate, it was only a matter of time before the office collapsed.
But then, a very faint knocking sound from somewhere froze the ghost in an instant.
Knock, knock, knock.
Silence fell across the space.
Yu Jong-hwa hesitated for a moment, then grasped the office doorknob and asked.
“May I open the door?”
[……The Chairman must have heard everything. What do I do? My work period is going to be extended more!!]
As if the shrieking had never happened, the ghost spoke in the voice of a perfectly normal person. Yu Jong-hwa persuaded the ghost, reasoning that since DNA Logistics’ excellent patron was protecting him, at least nothing catastrophic would befall him.
“You’re already on a Lifetime Employment Contract anyway. And wouldn’t the Chairman punish you even more severely if you ignored him?”
Sensing that his words made sense, the ghost soon had the office door swing wide open.
There was no one in front of the door.
The sound of a very small creature’s footsteps came from below, and Yu Jong-hwa quickly bowed his head.
A small brown bird was fluttering in front of the office with a paper slip in its beak.
“Uh…… hello.”
“Chirp-chirp. Cheep.”
The bird opened its beak and dropped the paper slip at the tip of Yu Jong-hwa’s shoe. The bird, extending its short feet to push the paper forward, didn’t look back and flew away quickly with a flutter of wings.
“Um, Intern Park Min-gu. Do you know who that bird was?”
[That’s the Secretary Director……. She’s very frightening.]
That tiny bird was the Secretary Director? What kind of company was this? Yu Jong-hwa decided to stop questioning common sense. He picked up the note and unfolded it.
Stork is watching you.
“Hmm……. Why is it in English? Stork? That person watches you? Oh, so they’re letting me know there’s a stalker!”
[Are you an idiot?! The Chairman is watching everything!]
I’ll never be able to quit. It’s all over. Yu Jong-hwa stood quietly contemplating as the weeping ghost continued its lament.
Just now, the company’s very existence had nearly vanished, but it had ended with merely a warning. It seemed Park Min-gu was not particularly important to the Chairman. Someone the Chairman would prefer to disappear, as long as the company itself remained intact.
Come to think of it, there was no way that quick-calculating Chairman would like an employee who couldn’t perform.
“Intern! I have good news! It seems the Chairman doesn’t like you!”
[……Is that something to say in this situation?]
“Of course! If we find a more capable replacement than you, the Chairman will let you go!”
Within the bounds of not harming the company, the Chairman was willing to tacitly permit their actions. Then all they needed to do was fill Park Min-gu’s position with a more capable talent and maintain the DNA Logistics Urban Legend Phenomenon.
Yu Jong-hwa formulated a plan for securing talent. To do that, he would need to take things step by step.
First, making the Urban Legend Phenomenon understand what an Urban Legend Phenomenon is.
Yu Jong-hwa threw a forceful fastball.
“Intern Park Min-gu, as you may have guessed, you are not human.”
There was a powerful warning listed in every Urban Legend Phenomenon manual.
Never speak of the ‘Urban Legend Phenomenon’ to those who are not human.
This was a caution that even that reckless Researcher Assistant Kim Jong-mal had been firmly warned never to break.
★If you’re told not to do it, then don’t do it!☆
♡Revealing your true name to an Urban Legend Phenomenon
♥Making a contract with an Urban Legend Phenomenon
♡Explaining what an Urban Legend Phenomenon is to an Urban Legend Phenomenon
No matter how foolish you are, always keep these three things in mind~.
Even I don’t attempt such things.
If you ever find yourself breaking these rules, be absolutely sure to write your will first!
If you’re lucky, you’ll die quickly. If you’re unlucky, you’ll have to survive for a long time in the Urban Legend Phenomenon, so I’d recommend filing a missing person report in advance~.
It was scattered advice, but the message was unmistakable.
Yu Jong-hwa had already encountered a serpent aware of its own nature as part of the Urban Legend Phenomenon, so his sense of crisis had grown blurred, yet the taboo was undeniable.
Still, neither Kim Jong-mal nor his seniors had explained why it was forbidden.
And Yu Jong-hwa had decided to break that taboo anyway.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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