Debut or Die - Chapter 95

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 95
I sorted through Sun Ah-hyun’s halting explanation.
“So… you turned it on just to say hello, but then got scared and turned it off, right?”
“…Y-yes.”
“Mm.”
Sun Ah-hyun hung his head as if he were a criminal. Sitting on the floor in front of the door like that was almost amusing.
“What scared you exactly?”
“P-people… m-might hate me.”
“If they hated you, they wouldn’t watch.”
“…T-they cursed at me.”
“Hmm, did you see it in the live comments?”
Sun Ah-hyun nodded frantically.
‘Some lunatic must’ve rushed in the moment the notification dropped and started spouting garbage.’
I couldn’t understand why so many people were willing to grind their own lives away just to hurt others.
‘How frustrating.’
In any case, Sun Ah-hyun had definitely seen absurdly harsh insults even when appearing on Ajusa.
The fact that he’d endured it then but broke now seemed to suggest the fan signing event had been the trigger.
‘The comments appearing in real-time probably made it worse too.’
It must have felt like hearing it directly to his face.
I spoke while massaging my shoulders.
“Even if this wasn’t your profession… you can’t only meet people who like you. Someone will dislike you. And there are people who just enjoy insulting others for fun.”
“…”
“Of course it feels bad. It’s something to be scared of, but… if you’re scared enough to quit, don’t you think getting some help would be better?”
“…!”
“Wouldn’t it be better to start counseling now? We’re in the final stages of activities anyway.”
“I-it’s fine.”
Why was he being so stubborn?
I narrowed my eyes.
“You just don’t want to get counseling, do you?”
“…I-it didn’t work.”
Sun Ah-hyun squeezed his eyes shut.
“B-before… this, th-this stutter, I g-got it fixed… b-but now it’s b-back again.”
“…”
“I-it doesn’t work.”
Sun Ah-hyun hung his head low.
“I… I have to keep living like this…”
“…?”
What kind of extreme thing was he saying now?
“Maybe you just… saw a quack?”
“…! A q-quack…”
“And I wasn’t saying you absolutely have to fix your stutter. I just meant it would be better if you worried less about it.”
“….”
“If you don’t believe me, we could call the others and put it to a vote.”
“…?!”
Fortunately, Sun Ah-hyun seemed to have no particular trauma related to this sort of thing, so I conducted a survey with his blank consent.
First, Ryu Chung-woo.
“I can’t speak carelessly about it, but… rehabilitation is good to pursue consistently, no matter what the issue is. At least don’t give up until we reach a conclusion. You thought this through well.”
“…Y-yes.”
Next were Big Sae-jin and Kim Rae-bin. They were reading fan song comments in the Living Room.
“Wow, you should definitely see another doctor. If you tell the Company, they’ll probably introduce you to a famous one? There are a lot of people who came from other agencies.”
“I don’t think we can generalize from a single prior case. We’d need to compare and analyze at least five different opinions before we could establish any real credibility.”
“I, I, I see….”
Cha Yu-jin, who was in the Kitchen, didn’t quite understand the word “quack.” After I explained what it meant, I asked again.
“Throw away the quack! Go see a new doctor!”
“….”
It sounded oddly like a daily drama plot summary, but it was straightforward.
Finally… I asked Lee Sae-jin, who was lying on the Bed.
An unexpectedly serious answer came back.
“…Doctors vary wildly. Some of them make you wonder if they’re just talking to get paid… and some are good people.”
“Yes, yes.”
“It’s better to switch quickly if it doesn’t work out. …Though I haven’t received treatment for very long myself.”
And after hesitating, Lee Sae-jin added quietly.
“…Do your best.”
“…!! Y-yes!”
It was unexpected support.
Well, the survey was over. I crossed my arms and asked again.
“So, what do you think?”
Sun Ah-hyun seemed genuinely moved this time, groaning as he deliberated.
And soon, he clenched both fists and spoke.
“…S-so… after a-activities end, I’ll t-tell them right away.”
“You will? Good.”
“…Y-yes!”
“Then contact your parents about it.”
“Wh-what?!”
I had a feeling that once the schedule approached again, he’d just push it off.
I stayed seated and waited until Sun Ah-hyun contacted his parents directly and informed them about his counseling plans.
Since Sun Ah-hyun told them himself, he ended up sweating as he sent the message, and his parents replied instantly.
That’s how Sun Ah-hyun’s counseling appointment was successfully scheduled.
“Good job.”
“Y-yes, y-yes….”
My expression was blank, utterly bewildered by what was happening. I patted his back once and returned to my room.
That evening, I received an unexpected call of gratitude from Sun Ah-hyun’s parents.
Apparently, Sun Ah-hyun had told them that I’d persuaded him.
‘…Really?’
It was rather embarrassing.
-Thank you. We… well, there are things we simply can’t control…
After his voice wavered slightly and I heard him clear his throat a few times, the gratitude continued.
“No, I just brought it up casually.”
-Even so.
…From what I’d overheard later, it seemed Sun Ah-hyun had endured harsh words after his relapse—things like he’d always live that way—several times over.
I was certain it must have been at school; I could’ve bet my entire bank account on it. Not that there was much in there.
‘So peer relationships were the real problem after all…’
Anyway, I maintained proper courtesy and ended the call with Sun Ah-hyun’s parents.
Really, I’ve experienced all sorts of things.
I leaned my arms against the balcony railing, having stepped outside for privacy during the call, and felt the summer breeze wash over me.
‘…Exhausted, yet refreshed.’
My time in group living was coming to an end like this.

* * *
The final music show wrapped up without major issues.
“Everyone really likes the shorts.”
“Yeah, they’re comfortable to move in, so it was good.”
I thought they were refreshing too.
Though Big Sae-jin, who had a kneeling move at the end, might’ve felt differently about it.
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[Hello, reviewers.
I’m Park Moon-dae (puppy emoji)
This is today’s outfit. (photo) (photo)]
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After uploading the final group photo to social media, I truly felt that our debut activities had ended.
“Starting tomorrow, we’re on vacation.”
“I’m so excited~”
“I’ll finally be able to go home.”
Everyone’s expressions brightened at Ryu Chung-woo’s words.
That’s right. The Agency gave us vacation as promised.
Exactly four days.
‘For guys living in the provinces, going home to eat and rest is all they need.’
Still, I was grateful for even this much. From what I’d overheard while preparing for the music shows, there seemed to be plenty of groups who didn’t get any break and were pushed straight into preparing the next album.
That evening, as soon as Testa finished the commercial shoot, they arrived at the Dormitory without even eating, and one by one, they left for home with their already-packed bags.
“Then I’ll see you all in a few days~”
“See you soon!”
“Let’s meet in good health.”
“Ah, goodbye….”
Even so, Sun Ah-hyun seemed incredibly anxious about going for counseling, shuffling away with visible reluctance.
Click. The lock turned.
The Entrance door closed.
And so I was left alone in the Dormitory.
‘…This is perfect.’
Just thinking about spending four days in this spacious place all to myself, quiet and undisturbed, already felt rejuvenating.
I exhaled a long breath of relief and collapsed onto the sofa.
‘Let me rest for a bit first, then get up and eat… I need to catch up on detailed monitoring….’
I got that far in my thoughts before sleep claimed me entirely.
And that evening.
When I woke in the Living Room, I realized something was terribly wrong.
My body wouldn’t move.
It was that same symptom I’d experienced right after Ajusa’s first shoot.
I’d come down with a brutal case of body aches.
‘…I’m done for.’
It was even worse this time. My brain felt like it was cooking.
I tried to push through at first, but quickly realized the futility of it.
‘I can’t even manage to watch TV.’
With a heavy hand, I switched off the TV that had been streaming YouTube.
I’d been meaning to monitor the first episode preview of “Let’s Get Closer” that I’d filmed with Chung-ryeo, but I couldn’t remember what I’d actually watched. My head throbbed dully.
‘…Let me check my temperature.’
Beep.
[38.8℃]
This is maddening.
I rummaged through the container where I’d found the thermometer and located some pain relievers. I chewed them down immediately.
They tasted absolutely vile. But soon after, the pain subsided somewhat.
With that, more productive thoughts became possible.
‘…The Manager’s resting too.’
It wasn’t serious enough to contact the Company. My body had simply released its tension, and the accumulated fatigue from overwork had finally caught up with me.
‘I guess I need to recover properly during this break.’
It was rest either way, but being sick while resting wasn’t exactly enjoyable. Unfortunate, but there was nothing for it.
‘I should make some porridge while I still have the energy.’
I hastily prepared some plain rice porridge using instant rice, managed a few spoonfuls, then collapsed onto the Bed.
And once the medication was still working, I started monitoring.
‘First… the Stage reactions.’
The individual fancams from Music Bam’s comeback Stage had already accumulated quite a few views. It seemed personal fans had engaged in some subtle competition.
[(Music Bam Fancam) Testa(TeSTAR) Moon-dae MoonDae Magic Boy / 1.12M]
‘…I’ve crossed a million views too.’
All the effort I’d put into perfecting the choreography had paid off. I smiled faintly and clicked on the video.
-Now go see our genius Ganggeoljwi who can dance well… Let’s all dance together…ㅠㅠ
-Mundae, you’re practicing while sleeping, right?ㅠㅠ I’m worried that you’ll end up not sleeping like Azusa did. You need to rest well and eat well.
-Wow, this really hits the spot. Is this what first place feels like?
-Each movement has little details from the dance members mixed in… what kind of practice did you do, Moon-dae…?
It just happened naturally from doing everything together. Since I don’t have solid fundamentals anyway.
‘Still, the feeling is good.’
So this is the taste that makes people sacrifice their entire lives to work, forgetting about work-life balance and all that nonsense.
Hmm, there were quite a few English comments too, but my head wasn’t working well enough to read them. I moved on to the next item.
I do this periodically, but… these past few days I’ve been too busy with other things to get much done.
Let me search for ‘Park Moon-dae’ on SNS.
‘….’
Like last time, videos, photos, and fan art poured in.
Honestly, it doesn’t quite feel real that so many people are interested in me.
But there was something fun about looking through them one by one. I slowly scrolled through the timeline, checking what people were saying.
Then I found some rather unusual posts.
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Park Moon-dae Testa Moon-dae Ajusa
Park Moon-dae, please dye your hair blonde again. Blonde hair suits you so much better than black hair, please! Why did you dye it and then go back to black hair? Your hair will grow back dark naturally anyway, so please just keep it blonde!
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“….”
The sheer force of their desire for me to have seen this post came crashing through the screen.
Below that, people arguing with those telling them to stop doing this were busy fighting it out.
“Good grief.”
A hollow laugh escaped me. For the next album, I should just take a vote on my hair color.
“Next is….”
Did I just say that out loud?
I blinked and looked at my phone screen. It seemed a bit blurry….
My head ached. The effects of the medicine seemed to have worn off suddenly.
‘Damn it.’
This is really rough.
With my mind growing hazy, I collapsed onto the bed. Whatever. A little sleep should help….
My thoughts cut off there.

* * *
My body felt impossibly heavy. It seemed as though I were pinned beneath an invisible weight—sleep paralysis, perhaps.
…A voice pierced through the haze.
“…Park Moon-dae? Hey! Park Moon-dae!!”
“…!”
In that instant, consciousness flooded back with startling clarity.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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