Debut or Die - Chapter 81
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 81
A sudden early preview of Episode 2 of “Working Human” dropped.
When I hit play, the first thing I heard was a music box melody.
♬♪♩♪- ♬♪♬♪- ♪♩-
That’s right. Testa’s magical boy theme.
But it had been distorted so strangely that it sounded like some ridiculous comedy background music.
[Ding↘ Ding-ling↗ Ding-ding Ding↘-ding↗]
Overlaid above it was a close-up of a colorful banner and Testa’s blank, vacant faces staring up at it.
[Big Sae-jin : …Am I actually awake right now?]
Before he could finish speaking, a massive subtitle appeared.
[↑Designed to keep you constantly doubting reality]
And then the Ornithologist appeared immediately after. Behind his kindly smiling face, hellfire burned in composited CGI.
[Ornithologist : Today we’ll be filming migratory birds together!]
[Testa : ????]
Above the bewildered Testa, violently shaking subtitles poured down alongside heavy metal sound effects.
[A sudden expert appears out of nowhere!(※Fake)]
[Migratory bird filming starts without warning! (※Fake)]
It was obvious—this was meant to make people laugh.
But as the cut changed, the atmosphere turned solemn.
[But Testa is no pushover!]
A short scene overlaid beneath the flashing red subtitle.
[Former National Archery Representative : If it’s about shooting and hitting the birds, I can do that.]
[Sun Ah-hyun : (Eyes widening in shock)]
At Ryu Chung-woo’s matter-of-fact words, Sun Ah-hyun’s face—gripping the camera tightly in horror—slowly zoomed in.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a cut of Testa crouching down seriously and frantically as a group burst onto screen.
[Ornithologist : Let’s approach quietly~]
[Testa : Whoosh (seriously committed to filming)]
The footage continued without background music, showing the large boys moving in a duck walk, holding their breath.
[(Completely absorbed state)]
And then Park Moon-dae carefully raised the camera and took a photo naturally inserted into the scene.
[Park Moon-dae : (Click)]
But when he pulled the camera back, he’d been photographing Sun Ah-hyun instead of a bird.
[…??]
The subtitle was flustered.
And from that quiet cut, suddenly a scene of Testa fleeing like madmen and screaming burst onto screen.
[Testa : Ahhhhhhh!!!]
“That’s fascinating, haha.”
[Testa : Kyaaaah!! (Roughly meaning: I won’t let those Broadcasting Station bastards get away with this)]
The handheld camera shook wildly.
[Cha Yu-jin : Help!!]
The captions flashed dramatically. It was like watching a disaster film.
[What Should Have Been a Peaceful First Variety Show Shoot!]
[A Senseless Disaster Strikes Testa!]
[What Will Become of Testa’s Fate?]
A distorted voice emanated from the pixelated image of the MC.
[?? : Oh no, I’m sorry!]
Then, against a black screen, enormous golden captions appeared with a thunderous boom.
[Created by an MC and Production Team Serious About Pranks!]
[【The Working Human】]
[【The One-Verse Human】]
[July 5th, Thursday at 11 PM!]
The distorted, whimsical magical boy BGM played again as the screen concluded grandly.
“….”
These guys weren’t in their right minds either.
“Puhahahaha!!”
Big Sae-jin, who’d been watching from beside me, rolled across the living room laughing.
He’d been bursting into laughter from the moment that absurdly remixed magical boy BGM started playing, and now he’d ended up like this.
I had to admit it.
‘…It’s actually funny.’
Just like at Ajusa, they were creating context through editing that didn’t exist in the original, but I’d given up on that—it wasn’t a new thing.
‘It’s not the kind of composition that would spark controversy, so it should be fine.’
They just seemed genuinely serious about making things funny.
It was still absurd that the Agency had used our first variety show slot as a bundle deal instead of giving us a proper opportunity, but separately, I had a feeling the fans would find it entertaining.
‘As long as I maintain my image, I can break into broadcast network variety shows another time.’
Thinking it was roughly passing grade material, I scanned through the current reactions.
-What did I just watch (image of a black hole)
-????lol??
I must’ve lost my mind lolololol seriously lolol
-Testa’s first variety show status…? (attached)
I clicked on the GIF file attached to the last comment, and a goose took a deep breath before firing a laser beam.
Notably, lasers were also shooting out of its eyes.
“….”
In a sense, that was a remarkably intuitive prediction. It reminded me of exactly how Cha Yu-jin looked when his neck nearly snapped.
“Ahahaha!! Our fans are so cute!”
Big Sae-jin, who’d gotten up at some point, thrust his head over to read the comments and grinned widely.
Then he casually touched the screen and tapped on a related video.
…This is a shared tablet for sponsorship purposes. I’ll let it slide.
“Hey, watch this too. This one’s actually hilarious.”
“What is it.”
He shoved the screen right in front of my face, so my eyes automatically caught the video.
[Testa’s Animal Kingdom: Park Moon-dae Edition │ Moon-dae’s Life Research ZIP │ 【Living Together with Testa TEST】 EP.3]
“….”
In the meantime, the five-second advertisement ended naturally, and the main content began.
[Woohah~ Woohah~]
A tacky opening that looked like it belonged in a 90s animal variety show was parodied as Testa and flashed by.
What came next was… Park Moon-dae wearing a puppy onesie.
…I received it as a gift, so I wear it sometimes when the onesie is all washed.
‘…Seeing it on screen is a bit much.’
Regardless of my embarrassment, a voice I’d often heard in foreign documentary dubs flowed from the video.
[Wild wolves hunt in packs. They are animals that live in nuclear family units and engage in social behavior.]
[But here, this individual is not a wolf—it’s a dog.]
[Having cohabited with humans, it has acquired the habits of a cold city.]
On screen, Park Moon-dae in the onesie was shown in fast-forward, sitting blankly on the Living Room sofa.
Even as various housemates bustled about nearby, he didn’t budge an inch.
When Cha Yu-jin and Big Sae-jin approached, waved their hands, sat beside him, and turned on the TV, he remained in that exact posture.
[This individual has evolved to not expend energy on trivial social interactions.]
‘…But I answered all those things?’
He was probably exhausted right after managing to squeeze in a workout and shower during a brief gap. The familiar scent of fabrication was oddly comforting.
[However, like a true dog, he likes humans. Especially those in his own pack.]
“…?”
What was that supposed to mean?
On screen, Park Moon-dae suddenly sprang to his feet and disappeared into the Kitchen.
And returned with a carbonated drink.
[Let’s see if his goodwill is successfully conveyed.]
Park Moon-dae first showed the bottle to Ryu Chung-woo as he passed by, but was readily refused.
[The first attempt is a failure.]
‘I was just asking if he wanted a drink…?’
Did it really need to be called a failure? Besides, any mentally sound adult would make that kind of gesture.
But regardless of my confusion, the narration eagerly inserted nonsense.
Park Moon-dae on screen, holding the bottle, trudged back to the Living Room, received a warm welcome from Cha Yu-jin and Big Sae-jin, and handed over the drink.
An editing cut emphasizing a successful hunt was inserted.
[Ah, this time it’s a success.]
[He receives gratitude from the humans.]
The video ended with a cut of Park Moon-dae taking back a more-than-half-empty carbonated drink and putting the bottle directly to his mouth.
[A moment in the life of the Testa-class canine Park Moon-dae, currently inhabiting Seoul.]
[Doo-dung!]
“….”
I was speechless.
Because I’d been too busy to film separate reality content, they were broadcasting this once the music video shoot wrapped.
Big Sae-jin giggled again.
“Funny, right? Honestly, isn’t it funny?”
Yeah. They all laughed really well.
This was the best first comment.
Haha, perfect!
This string of laughter had 4,000 likes.
Below it were numerous comments bursting with laughter. Everyone seemed genuinely delighted.
Of course, not everything was like that. Let me check other top comments.
-As expected, Park Moon-dae is the one being officially pushed. The Tibetan fox is just heresy
-Everyone, Park Moon-dae has always been sincere about dogs—from mukbangs to mascot costumes to pajamas. Let’s be fans who respect Park Moon-dae’s choice.
The background music from Animal Kingdom is insane lol! It looks like the doggy got so excited and went hunting for plastic bottles!
-Yeah, let’s keep our Mung-dae as a puppy forever♡
-Tibetan fox supporters will not forget the Broadcasting Station’s implicit suppression. We will return…
Hahahahahahahaha
“….”
The image work I’d done to survive the competition was being brilliantly distorted into an image of Park Moon-dae being obsessed with dogs…
I could almost hear the screams of my 29-year-old civil service exam candidate self.
‘…Well, if people like it, that’s fine.’
I’d already worn moving dog ears at a fan signing a few days ago. It was time for that civil service exam candidate to give up.
“Moon-dae isn’t mad, right? Right? That’s right, I’ll play my video fairly too.”
Big Sae-jin laughed heartily beside me and autoplay started the next video.
The title had a blatant hint about the content.
[Testa Animal Kingdom: Lee Sae-jin B Edition│Big Sae-jin is ‘Popular’ ZIP│【Testa’s Living Together TEST】 EP.3]
‘Popular’
The content was basically a Big Sae-jin special where he got along well with everyone indiscriminately.
The editing balanced comedy and heartwarming moments well.
“But honestly, you’re funnier than mine… Hey, hey!”
This bastard was mocking me while keeping the good stuff for himself.
I handed the tablet over to him and lay down on the bed.
I shouldn’t waste this hard-earned rest time watching that kind of thing.
“Hey, monitor it with me too~ Are you the only one watching and sleeping?”
The guy who just laughed at Park Moon-dae’s video was talking about monitoring.
“Yeah. You should just sleep too.”
“Ah~ I can sleep in the car anyway. If I have time like this, I should use it well~”
I had no idea where this guy got his energy from—he didn’t even have a status window. He’d only slept three hours yesterday too.
That’s when support came from my roommate.
“…I said I was going to sleep. Get out. It’s too noisy.”
Lee Sae-jin, who was already lying down to sleep, threw out a comment. It was clear she’d been holding it in.
“….”
Big Sae-jin stared at his namesake without responding, then just laughed.
“Ah, I see. Sleep well, hyung~”
When our eyes met, he shook his head with a disapproving gesture, then shrugged and left the room.
‘He seems pretty irritated too.’
With the reality camera rolling, it was clear he’d deliberately kept things light to avoid a confrontation.
‘They really don’t understand each other.’
They were fundamentally incompatible. Even if I switched rooms later, I’d have to make sure those two never ended up together again.
The moment that thought crossed my mind, my smartphone buzzed with a notification.
[Big Sae-jin: Get out here! Now’s the time!]
“….”
[Got it.]
I sent a brief reply and powered off my phone. Then I drifted into a deep sleep.
At that moment, I had no idea what was about to happen with Testa’s first variety show video.
* * *
Testa’s first variety show video was insane lol
[Working Human Episode 2 Preview (feat. cheek prank)]
[Everything was fake—Testa’s variety show appearance]
The wildly edited preview video naturally climbed to the top of entertainment community boards.
Oh my god, that’s hilarious lol
I thought they’d fail for sure, but as expected, they’re the real deal. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the kind of guys who can break through Ajusa.
Lol, all those comments pretending to worry about Testa appearing there have completely disappeared.
The fans must be loving this, it’s already so funny lol
-Oh, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a real fishing broadcast. I’m so glad. These guys are Azusa, they’re so cute. I’ll watch the broadcast!
└You can totally tell you’re a fan~
└? Why are you like this?;;;
└Just ignore them, they’re crazy
It was only natural—a variety show that was expected to flop delivered a twist, and now it featured the hottest idol from the recent audition craze.
On top of that, the video itself was hilarious.
Thanks to that, word spread beyond just entertainment communities and SNS.
[What’s the identity of the new variety show featuring Testa? A full-scale prank broadcast!]
[A variety show that takes pride in deceiving Testa]
[TVC’s new variety show, skyrocketing with Testa?]
The crudely drawn bird banner and the video packed with prank keywords aggressively pulled in views.
And it wasn’t long before it was chosen.
-Haha, is there anyone who searched for it and found it?
It was the selection of the famous ‘YouTube algorithm.’
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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