Debut or Die - Chapter 438

—————

This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

—————

A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 438
A senior from the club I used to mooch drinks from suddenly appearing as my fan on a video call.
And in this moment, when my job is being an idol.
It’s incredibly bewildering.
However, my mouth, honed by years of professional experience, speaks the right words.
“…Yes. Seo-jin.”
[Yes.]
This is driving me crazy.
Seeing Ryu Seo-jin’s satisfied expression on the screen only made me more flustered.
I was able to successfully land the Ajusa Noraebang casting thanks to something that senior had said at a drinking session, but still.
‘Did that senior actually like idols?’
I was too busy making a living to care about my club members’ preferences, but it seemed like they mainly just took portfolio photos.
They definitely never gave me any side gigs to shoot photos on their behalf.
But….
‘Maybe… they just kept it secret for the sake of social life.’
And they were Home Ma, no less.
‘Puppy Bear’ was an account that posted photos of Lee Sae-jin and Park Moon-dae—a name I remembered well enough because they produced such high-quality shots.
‘Based on the posting intervals and operational guidelines, it didn’t seem like Testa was their first idol at all.’
I’m not sure if I just didn’t notice because I wasn’t interested, or if that senior hid it well.
Anyway.
‘…No wonder the compositions looked so natural.’
Was it because we learned similar techniques in the club? No, let’s stop that.
‘Just work. Work.’
I should just think of them as a grateful fan who participated in the event.
I can’t let any strange vibes slip into this live video call that’s being recorded.
‘If I just think of them as a fan….’
But there’s still a question here. Why did they send in a story about me?
Not Big Sae-jin.
‘Maybe they liked Big Sae-jin and included me too since I’m ranked first, just to expand their business scope.’
Then I realized what had happened.
‘…They must not have set up the one-story-per-member restriction because they were rushing.’
If they had a meticulous personality, they might have created customized stories for every single member.
This would definitely give broadcast journalism majors an advantage.
…And the story that senior—no, that fan—sent in for me was exactly….
-I chose a similar path to my older sister in high school. Can I finally accept and love myself now?
They had written a very plausible story, comparing their competition with that sister and their low self-esteem to my experience of debuting first place through survival.
Of course, that sister’s true identity was Ajusa’s Writer Ryu Seo-rin.
[First of all, my older sister is someone with very strong goals and excellent drive.]
Yeah, I agree with that.
I almost twitched my eyes thinking of that attention-grabbing writer who was doing so well.
However, I nodded carefully without letting it show.
“You’re quite impressive.”
I’m surprised at myself.
[Yes. That’s why working in the same field has been a bit difficult for me. I kept comparing myself.]
Ryu Seo-jin unspooled her meticulously reconstructed story without hesitation—the kind of fabricated narrative you’d expect from a broadcast professional.
Still, I could see the general flow, which made it easier for me to respond.
“When I first went on an idol survival show, I think I had similar thoughts watching the other contestants.”
As I smoothly rode that wave, the conversation began to feel less like a scripted broadcast and more natural.
And by the time we were nearing the end, I’d completely regained my composure.
“…Seeing us talk about our worries like this, I really think Seo-jin noona has just as much drive as that person.”
It wrapped up with a clichéd but beautiful conclusion—that I should trust myself more and stop comparing myself to others.
And the fan on the screen was clearly listening intently to what was essentially generic idol feedback on a self-written story.
“….”
Right.
Whether they’re a senior or whatever, I shouldn’t forget that this person is a hardcore fan who willingly spends money and time on me….
[Then, could I maybe get Park Moon-dae’s puppy version of fighting spirit?]
My lips trembled.
“…Of course.”
‘Damn it, seriously.’
I don’t even know what to call this. Shame?
“Fighting!”
But I gladly pinched one cheek and fluttered my hands above my head to cheer them on.
Though my mind went blank, I went through a few more fan signing event-style gestures before the first call ended successfully.
-Click!
“….”
I felt like ash.
All my energy drained away, and I lay on the floor for a moment. The staff didn’t stop me.
Instead, the door suddenly burst open.
“Moon-dae, Moon-dae, this is fun, you know? It’s kind of meaningful too~”
The guy who’d been hosting in the next room was apparently waiting outside and shouted quite excitedly.
“I did it with a fan.”
“…??”
If he’d come in a moment too soon, he would’ve gotten his money’s worth compared to the submission time. Too bad for him.

* * *
I was startled at first, but the task itself wasn’t particularly difficult.
Sitting at the Pension with staff and chatting with fans for a few minutes? I’d do it without payment.
Each member was assigned only seven fans. The agreement was to film enough footage for the concert VCR by accepting that many and selecting one or two usable clips.
‘I think we could’ve taken more.’
With five to ten minutes per person and ten-minute breaks in between, the whole thing would wrap up in two hours. For the amount of work involved, it felt like I wasn’t getting much out of it.
I looked at the screen, smiled, and nodded.
[Have you ever had a hard time while living at the Dormitory?]
Whatever I answered would be a minefield, but I understood there was no malice behind it.
“Well… when an insect appeared, the members wouldn’t let anyone into their rooms, so we all had to sleep in the Living Room together once.”
My answer was a non-sequitur that seemed related to the question.
[What?! Who?]
Good, they took the bait.
After wrapping up another video call with an anecdote, I moved on.
I mainly selected stories that fans could relate to, ones with clear cause-and-effect structures, and picked them randomly.
As a result, about half the people hadn’t even considered talking to an idol before, making it quite a fresh experience.
Of course, there were some familiar faces too.
Surprisingly, on the fourth or fifth call, my first Home Ma appeared.
[Oh my goodness, hi Moon-dae!]
“Is this about how you started liking a different idol instead of me?”
[…?! Oh, no…??]
I was joking. It was actually a story about considering dropping out of High School with a friend due to career concerns.
But less than three minutes in, it shifted from a consultation into a typical fan sign event conversation, and I didn’t cut it short—I went along with it.
[I’m so grateful, Moon-dae, really! Let’s see each other again!]
That’s just what I wanted to do.
And I felt it anew.
‘…It’s been a while.’
It had been a long time since I did something like this as Testa. Subjectively, it felt like over a year.
After destroying the System and coming back, I only did tours without releasing albums.
Feeling directly that I was Testa like this was a novel sensation.
“….”
Well, let’s not hold back and keep working hard. I quietly got my hairstyle adjusted and stared at my smartphone again.
It was already the last consultation.
And this person was….
[Oh, hello! Wow, what do I do!]
“…!”
The face on the screen was someone I’d seen a few days ago.
The person I’d seen in the glow of lightsticks between dark concrete walls.
“…Hello.”
A Graduate Student fan.
[This is my first time winning something like this!]
Her face was bright, untouched by the experience of a collapsing building. I clenched and unclenched my fists beneath the table.
The excited fan shared her personal stories before mentioning her concerns.
I’d already heard them. These were the words I’d caught beyond the crumbling storage room back then.
So she really was this cheerful and optimistic by nature.
I spoke without thinking.
“…You’re a graduate student.”
[Yes!]
Since her concerns were academic, I’d chosen this angle thinking that Park Moon-dae’s perspective—having taken the GED—might offer fresh insights.
[But I wouldn’t recommend it….]
Ah, so it was about graduate school.
I smiled faintly.
“I think it’s remarkable to have research or studies you genuinely want to pursue. So you’re a remarkable person.”
[Uh-hehe,]
It was an odd sound, but I heard it at every fan signing, so what did it matter.
I listened earnestly and responded to her words just as I had with the previous fans.
When I signaled the end, the graduate student’s face relaxed, her eyes brightening as she spoke.
[Thank you, really…! I’m still struggling with this decision, but I think I get strength from you and Testa to overcome these doubts, seriously.]
The fan on screen smiled brightly.
“No, thank you instead.”
It really wasn’t bad at all.
Only after hanging up did I realize this fan had never asked me for any lines or poses.
‘Oh well.’
Didn’t get her fix.
Maybe I’d see her at the next fan signing.
In any case, the video call that started at 7 PM stretched on until nearly midnight.
After stepping outside the room and filming a light closing shot… today’s shoot would be wrapped.
“You all worked hard~”
“That was fun!”
Since the work hadn’t been taxing, the staff looked bright. The members too.
“I think we should do fan meetings in this format occasionally. The in-person line format doesn’t really feel like one-on-one conversation.”
“So we’re diversifying how we meet fans by utilizing modern technology.”
“I… really liked it…!”
Seems like it was quite enjoyable.
I chuckled and scrolled through today’s reviews.
-Asked Bae Sae-jin for textbook recommendations didn’t ask questions
-Requested heart challenge from Chung-woo was embarrassed to say something unrelated to my concerns but it was genuinely worthwhile embarrassment (video)
-Kim Rae-bin that crazy bastard how dare you wear a ponytail call me noona collarbones knit I’ll do it myself
Seems everyone had memorable experiences.
I finished reading Big Sae-jin’s review about the “Kakaotalk Boyfriend Profile Picture Generator” and Cha Yu-jin’s review about being a “Spanish Travel Instructor” before scrolling through my phone.
The last one asked casually.
“Park Moon-dae, are you having fun right now?”
“Yeah.”
It was a way of saying thanks to him for sneaking out his smartphone, and hoping he’d make something delicious.
And it wasn’t just Cha Yu-jin—the atmosphere had already shifted to feel like we were right before a company dinner.
“Can they deliver here? If not, I can go out and grab something.”
“Ah, we’ll go get it. We were heading to the Mart anyway.”
The Charity Concert staff who’d jumped into the conversation loudly declared they’d bring pizza.
I’m grateful, but honestly, I suspect they’re making a quick escape because they don’t want to have dinner with an unfamiliar celebrity. It’s only natural as working professionals.
Anyway, after seeing off the staff who rushed out like that.
“So we should set up the table before they arrive….”
“Ohhhh, the cat came again! We’ll take responsibility for this cat!”
“Eugene, Bae Sae-jin has a cat hair allergy….”
“Oh.”
After a brief moment of chaos—or rather, cat chaos—we’d made some progress with dinner preparations.
Ding-dong.
The doorbell rang. The guys who were setting down glasses suddenly lifted their heads.
“Huh?”
“They’re here already?”
That couldn’t be. The staff had left just ten minutes ago. The pizza wouldn’t even have gone into the oven yet.
‘Must’ve forgotten something.’
“I’ll go check.”
Since I was closest to the entrance, I stepped forward.
Ding-dong.
I heard you the first time.
I quickened my pace and immediately grabbed the entrance door handle.
Click.
And from the crack of the opening door, light and sound poured in.
“Hey!”
That voice is…
“Surprise~”
“Wow. Applause.”
“…!!”
I froze.
The VTIC guys in casual clothes were standing right outside the Pension entrance.
What the hell.
“Park Moon-dae, hello!”
What kind of situation is this.
Chung-ryeo waved brightly with a smile.
Even as I think it, this feels like complete nonsense, but it’s reality.
And the cause is visible behind me.
Above the camera, gleaming lights sparkle. And holding those lights are… the staff members who left earlier.
‘Oh.’
Simultaneously grasping the situation, I lowered my hand just before it could clench into a fist.
Actually, we’d agreed beforehand to set up a makeshift stage at the end of the Charity Concert VCR as a surprise.
‘…So this is what they had in mind.’
I never expected we’d be the ones surprised like this.
“We’ve come for a special stage with Testa!”
Jin Chae-yul grinned and waved his hand in front of the lights.
‘Did military service make him lose all sense of shame?’
It was an oddly irritating reunion. But then again….
“…Welcome.”
“…!”
There’s no reason not to.
I let out a soft laugh and stepped slightly aside.
Let’s do this.

—————

This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

—————