Debut or Die - Chapter 405

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 405
Ballerino Sun Ah-hyun had never walked any path but one.
His calling was to tread carefully down that single narrow trail toward his destination.
The path was sometimes steep and rough, but the destination remained visible, and a sense of responsibility—that he could never stop walking—kept his feet moving forward.
Only that sense of responsibility.
‘When I first started… it was so enjoyable.’
How exhilarating those new challenges and expressions had been. Dance was such a captivating pursuit.
But everything changed after he unexpectedly achieved overwhelming results at an international ballet competition, winning first place beyond his wildest imagination.
‘Ah.’
-Ah-hyun, you were born to do this!
His choices had vanished.
An agency took him on, articles flooded in, fame arrived, and he gained an impressive title and affiliation.
Now that the perfect, optimal path had revealed itself, he could no longer attempt anything else.
There was no reason or justification to rebel against all the expectations and advice. Only a life pursuing greater success through ballet remained.
…Something felt wrong.
‘I haven’t actually experienced this work enough to dedicate my entire life to it.’
Yet it wasn’t unbearably difficult. Dance was something enjoyable, after all.
‘I can’t try everything and then choose.’
He’d heard similar words during counseling sessions.
Since things weren’t difficult enough to abandon everything, the counselor the agency had arranged for him didn’t recommend an extended break or career change—both impossible for him anyway.
But resignation never faded.
A buried certainty about the future.
‘I… won’t be able to do anything else from now on.’
He’d already poured away his entire childhood and half his youth.
He had no real friends, no social experience. He’d never properly studied.
Deviating from this trajectory was impossible.
So now he couldn’t voice any different thoughts. He couldn’t torment the company, his parents, and all the stakeholders with uncertain anxiety and worry.
He couldn’t ruin this flawless life.
‘How wonderful it would be if I were the type without doubt or worry.’
Sun Ah-hyun made constant efforts to become that way.
He cultivated no other hobbies, entertained no other connections or alternative lives. He narrowed his life’s radius.
He didn’t want to harbor regrets or curiosity.
And so he flourished.
-The lead ballerino this time will definitely be Ah-hyun. As expected!
-Then we’ll just film three more commercials. That’s fine with you, Ah-hyun?
His position grew increasingly solid.
He could never break free from this. Failure was not an option.
‘That’s right.’
And so it was when Sun Ah-hyun’s path had become completely set.
He met him without warning.
A Survival Show Program participant sitting in the corridor of the Broadcasting Station set like their soul had left their body.
-Are you… alright?
The words I’d poured out trying to encourage that person somehow felt unfamiliar to me.
-Good results aren’t the only answer.
-A choice that doesn’t cause you inner pain is also an answer.
‘I…’
I’d never even considered letting go so easily, yet I couldn’t understand why I’d spoken with such conviction.
It felt like someone other than myself was speaking.
‘That’s strange.’
But those words became a comfort to me as well.
-An alternative can also be the right answer.
Even though I believed what I was doing was impossible.
And surprisingly, the other person eventually regained their spirit and produced a brilliant result in a different direction.
-Wow, they really made it well.
-It was the best.
I was only a one-time mentor, yet that gave me a strange flutter and emotion.
That entire situation and that person.
-…Thank you. I was able to finish the stage well because of you.
So when I heard those words from Ryu Gun-woo, honestly, I wanted to tell him more sincerely that I was the one grateful.
But saying it that way felt like it would be a burden.
‘…If I ever get the chance.’
I wanted to become closer and tell him.
I truly wanted to possess the mindset I’d expressed to that participant—the one that had felt so unfamiliar.
So it was the moment we exchanged numbers and made that promise.
Suddenly, in the corridor where the participant had turned and disappeared… I saw it.
‘Huh?’
-…?
Someone with blonde hair wearing an in-ear monitor was opening their mouth while looking at me from what appeared to be the Backstage area.
Stage costume and an outstretched hand pulling toward me.
“…!”
But before the hand could touch me, that strange afterimage quickly vanished.
The image was far too vivid to be a hallucination.
‘Ah.’
Yet strangely, Sun Ah-hyun felt no anxiety.
It just… felt right.
Like correcting something wrong, a subtle conviction was etched into my mind.
‘It’s okay.’
Rather, I wanted to see it again. Sun Ah-hyun began replaying the afterimage so as not to forget it.
After that, the afterimage kept appearing unexpectedly again and again.
When looking at the Audience Seating, when preparing in the Waiting Room, when going to the Broadcasting Station.
When I cautiously reached out to that idol who had been despondent.
-Waaah!
Louder, more bustling, filled with greater trials and twists.
Yet more radiant, heart-stirring images of life.
At such moments, Sun Ah-hyun grew confused, yet strangely, the anxiety of heading in the wrong direction didn’t feel misplaced.
And gradually the afterimages grew vivid, gaining connectivity, taking on a story.
Images connected by dotted lines.
‘What could it be.’
Sun Ah-hyun carefully aligned those images within himself and held them close.
And in this very moment.
“We performed this stage at the Concert, didn’t we.”
At those words, as if shackles had been released, sound and movement filled the spaces between all the images.
And the afterimages I had held close gained meaning, becoming memory.
Real life.
“…Back then.”
Soon after, Sun Ah-hyun realized.
‘Ah.’
I was never a ballet dancer.
I had failed to become a ballet dancer, and fled, abandoning dance—that was Sun Ah-hyun.
Yet….
‘I was happy.’
Sun Ah-hyun became an idol.
“We held balloons, remember….”
I recalled the joyful unit stage from my first Concert. Then the group stage, and the after-party.
Myself stammering, myself giving up, myself forcing things, myself doubting my friends.
“…Park Moon-dae.”
It was okay to fail.
Quitting ballet didn’t erase the value of who I was while learning it.
Even a daily life shattered by relentless torment and an abandoned school years could eventually recover.
Life doesn’t end broken.
If I could choose to find my direction again and walk forward.
‘That’s right.’
And conversely speaking.
Living an outwardly perfect life without any terrible failures didn’t erase the inner anxiety and fear.
Rather, it was that which erased the trauma that Testa’s Sun Ah-hyun had carried.
The self-reproach of whether I made a weak choice at life’s crossroads.
‘I too… made the best choice each time. Just like the other members.’
All the doubts and suspicions I had buried within myself cancel out.
From the very beginning.
The words that kept me from collapsing, that allowed me to run down new paths even when deviating from the course, came to mind.
-Just think, ‘I’m going to pull this off.’
And now, I was face to face with the person who had given me that catalyst.

* * *
“…So, you’re saying you didn’t actually have the memory from the beginning.”
“Yeah.”
I slipped away to the Waiting Room with Sun Ah-hyun.
Sun Ah-hyun, who had already won an award in the first half, could return to the audience seating a bit late without issue, and I wasn’t even nominated in the first place.
So that’s why I could be sitting across from this guy right now.
Sun Ah-hyun nodded and smiled.
“…Right now, I remember everything completely.”
His appearance hadn’t changed, but it showed in his expression, his movements, his tone of voice.
This was the Sun Ah-hyun I knew.
“….”
I was at a loss for words for a moment before barely managing to respond.
“Yeah.”
And I extended my hand.
“Welcome back.”
“Yeah…!”
He extended both hands and shook mine. Truly still… the same guy.
‘…Calm down.’
Let’s settle down and move on. Since it’s been a while, understanding the situation comes before catching up on old times.
The topic at hand.
-How did Sun Ah-hyun regain consciousness.
I took a deep breath and got to the main point.
According to him, after several afterimages, he had fully “awakened” and established his sense of self from my question just now.
“Because of the Concert talk.”
“Right….”
If that was the catalyst, it meant it had been accumulating all along.
“I thought I could understand what you were saying, Park Moon-dae… that I wanted to understand. So suddenly.”
It seemed Sun Ah-hyun had remembered well each time an afterimage appeared and connected the characters together.
Though it seems he didn’t realize in the middle that I was Park Moon-dae, who appeared in his own afterimage….
“How did you figure out that I’m Park Moon-dae.”
Sun Ah-hyun’s eyes widened.
It was the expression of someone who hadn’t expected such an obvious question.
“…! Even though your appearance is a bit different… you seemed so much like Park Moon-dae.”
“Ah.”
“And… we talked about it.”
His face flushed, and he spoke seriously, word by word.
“Park Moon-dae was originally a person who had the name Ryu Gun-woo.”
“…!”
“I remember… Of course I do.”
Ah.
I recalled that time.
That dark chapter of mine—when I’d spouted off like an idiot, caused nothing but trouble, and barely managed to save face before convincing Sun Ah-hyun.
‘….’
But it seemed it wasn’t entirely useless after all.
I decided to revise my assessment slightly.
Perhaps the decision to speak up in the first place wasn’t a mistake.
“Thank you.”
“…! Oh, no! We’re friends, so of course I should do this.”
Sun Ah-hyun smiled brightly. With no other choice, I smiled too.
‘I thought he’d be needlessly confused once his memories returned.’
Sun Ah-hyun didn’t seem to be suffering from any pain or internal conflict at all.
If anything, he looked more at ease than before.
‘Bae Sae-jin was right.’
—Just because it looks that way on the surface doesn’t mean what’s inside is the same.
I’ll concede it. That’s one point for him.
After that, I quickly briefed him on the current situation.
More specifically, the burden of having to reinforce the logic and convince him no matter what… was gone.
“We’ll go into more detail after the awards ceremony. Let’s talk then.”
“Okay!”
Instead, I hurried back to the awards ceremony before it got any later.
Thanks to performing with the two nominees, I’d secured a temporary seat and claimed one corner spot at their table.
Bae Sae-jin, who’d been looking at us with an expression that seemed to say ‘Why are you so late?’, suddenly changed his expression the moment he checked Sun Ah-hyun’s face.
Then, taking advantage of a VCR break, he quickly whispered to me.
‘Could it be…?’
I nodded slowly. A wide smile spread across Bae Sae-jin’s face.
And immediately after, he poked Sun Ah-hyun sitting beside him.
‘You!’
‘Hello, Sae-jin hyung…!’
I left the excited Bae Sae-jin and Sun Ah-hyun to their gesturing and posturing. Those two would probably make a news article out of their friendship.
I let out a quiet laugh as I watched the VCR end.
The awards ceremony was resuming.
And that night.
[Sun Ah-hyun has entered the chat]
The Testa group message room was now complete with all seven members.
[Sun Ah-hyun : Hello everyone…!]
[Big Sae-jin : Oh my god]
Big Sae-jin: Sorry for the swearing, but oh man, Ah-hyun finally came! I’m really welcoming you with open arms!
[Cha Yu-jin: Wooooow we’ve got all seven stars together (sunglasses emoji)]
[Ryu Chung-woo: I heard about it, Ah-hyun, that’s really great (smiling emoji) Should I call you Senior Ah-hyun?]
[Sun Ah-hyun: It’s really fine, you don’t need to do that!]
I scrolled through the message thread lying on my bed, watching as the group—half of them actually here in the Dormitory—kept nearly getting tangled up in honorific confusion before diving back into excited conversation.
It felt different from usual, though.
‘When should I contact Sun Ah-hyun?’
I’d let them chat a bit more and save the detailed conversation for later.
But first, I needed to sort through some questions in my head.
‘Hmm.’
The conclusion was basically “all’s well that ends well,” but I still needed to figure out why only Sun Ah-hyun had recovered his memories on his own.
‘Sun Ah-hyun still isn’t in the status window.’
[Yes!]
That meant the system wasn’t involved.
So then…
‘…Is there a difference from the previous awakenings?’
After thinking it through, one thing came to mind.
Sun Ah-hyun hadn’t complained about the headaches or dizziness that typically appeared when the others awakened—he’d simply and naturally regained his real-world self.
‘…How?’
As if he’d always been capable of it…
Like it was his own ability.
“…!”
That’s it.
I sat up on the bed.
It felt like I’d been struck across the head.
[Ooooh, did you think of something??]
Right.
Sun Ah-hyun’s unique ability—the one he had that the others didn’t.
‘His trait.’
I recalled Sun Ah-hyun’s trait.
[Grit (S)]
: Your mindset is something you create yourself. Therefore, you alone can bear it.
-When activated, negates mental-type status abnormalities. (Can stack)
This.
The Sun Ah-hyun here was B-rank, but he still fundamentally had the status abnormality negation effect.
‘So if even a fragment of his memory returned…’
The moment his real-world S-rank trait activated, all status abnormalities would be cleared.
And as a result…
‘…he came back on his own…??’
It was an absurdly broken turn of events.
[Wow, Ah-hyun is really cool!!1 Insane!]
No. That’s….
‘This isn’t a situation that ends with “cool.”‘
[What?]
This was… a hint.
I gripped the edge of the bed tightly.
There’s a premise to this logic.
‘This current situation means there’s an abnormal state.’
[!!!]
That’s right.
Since Sun Ah-hyun’s trait negates abnormal states, once negated, this entire situation becomes an ‘abnormal state’—just like my ‘Debut or Death’ or Chung-ryeo’s ‘School Grounds.’
My ‘Debut or Death’ or Chung-ryeo’s ‘School Grounds.’
“….”
[That makes sense! We were trying to seize the system in the first place, so if we think the system brought about this abnormal state….]
Wait.
‘…we were trying to seize the system.’
That sentence lingered oddly on my tongue.
‘If I had tried to eliminate the system….’
And then I caught the discrepancy.
“…!!”
[H-hyung?]
Damn it all.
I kicked open the door and rushed out to find another room.
“Oh? Perfect timing.”
Chung-ryeo’s room.
Since his roommate Ju Dan had left for a personal schedule, he was alone right now.
He sat at his desk writing something, then turned his head leisurely and continued speaking.
“About next month’s first awards ceremony—the music source score calculation….”
“We.”
“Hm?”
I spoke as if I wanted to bite my own tongue.
“We’ve made a mistake.”
“….”
Think about it.
I took a plane with this bastard, flew it out to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and tried to eliminate the system.
How?
By ensuring there was no host nearby for the system to inhabit.
Which means, fundamentally, the system had to exist in that location.
“To pull off the insanity of eliminating the system, you’d ultimately need the one currently carrying it.”
“….”
“Which means that bastard had to be on the plane back then.”
I swallowed hard.
“Who is that?”
I had completely forgotten.
Yet I felt no sense of wrongness.
The guy in front of me opens his mouth.
“Well, I’m not sure.”
Chung-ryeo, still sitting at the desk, rested his chin on his hand, his brow furrowed as if he were equally puzzled….
Wait.
I stared at the guy before me, feeling my blood run cold.
He looks perfectly fine.
This control-obsessed bastard—there’s not a shred of displeasure showing at being outside his control right now.
That means.
“You… you remembered.”
“….”
That there was one more person on the airplane.
And.
“You also knew that I forgot.”
Chung-ryeo closes the notebook he was organizing on the desk.
Then he smiles and opens his mouth.
“You’re still sharp, Junior Member.”
Damn it.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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