Debut or Die - Chapter 321

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 321
The murmur of the crowd below the stage, the noise of the equipment, and the flickering glow of the light sticks awaken all my senses.
I have returned.
“….”
Someone grabs my shoulder. When I turn my head, I see Big Sae-jin and the faces of those standing around him.
This bastard is smiling, but his grip tightens. It must have been him who called out to me earlier.
‘Did I stumble or something?’
I recall nearly collapsing when I first confirmed the truth after Ajusa’s debut.
The situations may have been similar, but the subjective passage of time I’m experiencing now feels vastly different.
I quickly scanned the faces of those standing behind me.
‘It’s been a while.’
From Ryu Chung-woo standing on the periphery to Bae Sae-jin.
Actually, I saw Bae Sae-jin just a few days ago, but he looks so different from how he was in those early debut days that it’s almost startling.
‘I’ve known them for a long time.’
Four years now.
In student terms, it’s as if we all graduated from the same high school and went to university together.
Six strangers of the same age, forming a team not by choice but by circumstance, and we’ve come this far. It’s a rare experience.
Yet with my ability to see status windows and choose directly, I don’t think I could have assembled a better team than this—an irrational thought, but there it is.
It was a strange thing.
I watched Kim Rae-bin’s pupils trembling and inwardly smiled.
‘You were right.’
-Although we didn’t come together for the sake of camaraderie, I believe that genuine solidarity can grow within it!
There’s more to this than just wanting to keep going because the results are good.
And the same goes for the light sticks flickering in front of us.
I gave a slight nod to those standing behind me, then turned my body forward again.
People cheering for Testa.
And as Park Moon-dae of Testa, I’m the one standing here in front of them.
After going through all of that, my conclusion remains the same.
“….”
This won’t do. Because of what I heard in the mental world just before, my head is drowning in emotion.
‘This is awkward.’
That’s when it happened.
Suddenly, I noticed text appearing on the prompter.
-Please share your thoughts quickly.
“…!”
Right, my thoughts.
I snapped back to attention. Having something to do immediately pulled my head back to reality.
I must have been frozen for about three or four seconds. And here everyone’s complaining about award ceremony speeches dragging on too long.
‘Still, I hope they’ll understand—this is my first award won purely on merit.’
I let out a soft laugh and grabbed the microphone.
“I apologize for the long pause. I was nervous.”
Soft laughter rippled through the Audience Seating.
It wasn’t particularly funny, but they took it well enough, so I moved on.
“Looking back on my time with Testa, it feels both incredibly long and like we debuted just yesterday.”
I paused to catch my breath before continuing.
“The same goes for the moment I decided to pursue being an idol.”
A journey that began because of an absurd sudden death threat.
“Honestly, as a complete outsider, I had no confidence or expectations about how far I could go. I just… participated in the program because they said I could.”
Without that sudden death threat, I never would have considered it. But…
Just before regaining my senses, I recalled what I’d told Big Dal.
-I didn’t know I wanted to be an idol either, but I guess I must have.
Standing on this Stage now, I could vividly imagine the perspective of someone evading security to film me from below.
I’d done it plenty of times.
Back then, I never questioned the source of my satisfaction. I’d never imagined the view from actually standing on the Stage, looking down at the Audience Seating.
“But after meeting these members and our fans, Testa has come this far.”
If standing directly on the Stage felt more genuine and thrilling than watching from the Audience Seating…
Then my data-scraping obsession was indeed pure vicarious satisfaction.
And if I thought the satisfaction would intensify knowing this genuine joy was thanks to my ‘Infinite Potential’… that would be self-deception.
‘It’s reckless.’
Countless variables aligned perfectly. And I wasn’t the only one who moved those variables.
An idol group is a group, after all.
“Regardless of this award, I’m genuinely glad I challenged myself to become an idol back then. I’m… really happy.”
I never expected such embarrassing words to come from my mouth, but what else could I do when everyone here deserves to hear them?
“I believe the members feel the same way.”
I put my arm around Sun Ah-hyun standing beside me.
“…!”
‘Did he just get startled?’
I thought he’d naturally roll with the mood, but it almost got awkward.
Still, his expression wasn’t unwelcoming, so I looked around and said what needed to be said.
“Thank you.”
“….”
Then something subtle washed over their faces, and a natural victory ceremony began to unfold.
Encouragement for our hard work and a sense of achievement.
‘Good grief.’
Light sticks shook frantically in the Audience Seating, and cheers erupted.
I accepted becoming one of seven professionals embracing each other.
And I thought of the other one.
‘I hope you’re watching.’
Thinking of him probably watching on Television, I finished my final words in the embrace.
“Thank you so much for giving us this award.”
It was a comprehensive expression of gratitude.

* * *
A fanfare erupted, urging us to wrap up our remarks and vacate the stage. We moved to the Backstage, trophy in hand.
Immediately after the awards ceremony concluded, a brief preparation period followed before our performance took the Stage.
They probably arranged the first award recipient’s placement with this in mind.
I moved along, still holding the trophy, my thoughts running quietly.
‘I absolutely have to yield the next award to someone else.’
Once my composure returned, I realized I’d been far too exuberant.
‘It seems like word might have gotten out. Next time, I’ll make sure those who haven’t given acceptance speeches prepare separately….’
But I couldn’t continue calculating. An urgent question came before we even reached the changing area.
First, Big Sae-jin.
“Park Moon-dae. You okay?”
“…?”
“You almost fell just now. If you’re not feeling well, tell me. Let’s get you a painkiller before we go on.”
So that’s why he grabbed my shoulder. I understood his concern.
‘First, I need to assess how bad it looked.’
“I almost fell?”
“I-I thought you were collapsing….”
Sun Ah-hyun muttered with a pale face. Apparently, I’d stumbled more dramatically than I realized.
‘Damn.’
I needed to test whether this excuse would hold. I let out a sigh and rubbed the back of my neck.
“Sorry. It’s my first award, so… I don’t even remember what I said, and I think the nerves got to me.”
“…You got nervous?”
“You…?”
Why were these guys so suspicious?
I answered as calmly as possible.
“Yes.”
“Hold on a second.”
“Manager, can I get a thermometer!”
Suspicion rained down like artillery fire. I was getting a sense of what my expression must have looked like all this time.
I raised both hands.
“I’m perfectly fine. It’s just… I was genuinely happy.”
….
I looked at each of their faces, which seemed almost shocked, and let out a small laugh.
“It’s my first award. I’m capable of being moved too.”
“Park Moon-dae….”
The shock faded, replaced by warmth. I knew this would work since they’d all understand the high of a first award.
“…Yeah. That could be it.”
“Though it’s a bit late to say, I really thought that was a magnificent acceptance speech!”
Good. All the softhearted ones have come around.
‘…Well, it wasn’t a lie anyway.’
I had genuinely enjoyed myself, after all. I handed the trophy to those intoxicated by the atmosphere of the moment.
“Let’s fight hard next year too.”
“U-uh, yeah!”
“Gooood!”
Ryu Chung-woo seemed to be savoring the atmosphere with a satisfied expression about the teamwork, finishing his words gently.
“Still, I’m going to check your temperature.”
….
Do as you like.
I changed clothes and received a verdict of normal body temperature. Absurd as it was, it felt like I’d overcome some hurdle.
“13 minutes remaining~”
But at that same moment, I realized the real problem.
‘Damn it.’
I racked my brain before finally poking Sun Ah-hyun.
“Ah-hyun.”
“U-uh, yeah?”
And I spoke quietly.
“Can you quickly check the revised choreography for me….”
“Moon-dae, Moon-dae, why? Did you suddenly forget the choreography?”
Sharp bastard.
“…Just to confirm since I relaxed after the remarks.”
“Ah~ I see.”
Not a lie.
‘I haven’t sung or danced in days, you bastard….’
There’s a one-time revised choreography for the year-end that I practiced for exactly one week right before Ryu Gun-woo joined, and I’m about to use it now.
I was breaking into a cold sweat worrying I might not remember it properly on stage.
“Anyway, check it for me.”
“Y-yeah! L-let’s do it right now…!”
Fortunately, with time being short, the choreography lesson proceeded without any other conversation.
Once the two dance line members came together, the angles snapped into place instantly.
“Kick here, spin, and strike the tips of your feet with a point, then move on….”
“Moon-dae, you were half a beat too fast, be careful!”
“Okay.”
“I know that choreography best. Do you want me to teach you, hyung?”
“Eugene, why don’t you go grab us some drinks?”
That way, with the help of the others, I completely relearned the choreography in three minutes.
Living alone had been easier, but there was something not bad about having multiple people around.

* * *
This evening, as a prestigious music awards ceremony was being broadcast for the first time at year’s end.
-Park Moon-dae almost collapsed just now
-attention seeker lol
Aren’t you pushing your schedule too hard? It seems like you’re still dealing with aftereffects from that accident. You need to be more careful.
-he just got emotional but look at you all rushing in like a pack of dogs
Watching the real-time comments that made one lose faith in humanity, Twin Home Manager clicked her tongue while photographing Lee Sae-jin and Park Moon-dae.
But this sort of thing was commonplace, and there was something else that bothered her more.
‘I never thought he’d be that sentimental.’
Park Moon-dae had always handled everything with razor-sharp rationality, but only this time did he seem unable to contain his overwhelming emotions.
He couldn’t speak before his acceptance remarks, stumbled over his words, looked back at his members, went on longer than usual—he did everything he normally wouldn’t.
Whether there was a story behind it or the award itself held such deep meaning, I couldn’t say.
‘Well… it wasn’t bad.’
Twin Home Manager nodded, now understanding why Lee Sae-jin had yielded to Park Moon-dae.
Since Park Moon-dae’s public image was so composed it bordered on otherworldly, this moment of wavering would come across as charming rather than annoying.
It was no different from showing the public a scene with the same effect as crying at a concert.
In fact, by the time Park Moon-dae finished his remarks, the comment reactions had shifted considerably.
-that was touching
-Park Moon-dae seriously looks like a puppy with those eyes what’s going on
I’m crying so hard.
-Testa must have worked so hard all this time…
-he was genuinely moved you bastards
Plus, that final gesture that seemed to confirm the members’ affection for the team.
That entire sequence had something that stirred people’s hearts.
‘This kind of thing really does work.’
It wasn’t for nothing that compilation videos of the singer’s reaction—who achieved their first music show win after debut—were floating around YouTube.
People love seeing stars fall, but they also love seeing stars overcome with emotion.
Perfectly tailored to people’s tastes, Testa’s emotion came across as raw and genuine.
Twin Home Manager nodded with considerable satisfaction.
‘Well done.’
Not that Park Moon-dae had calculated any of this—he’d actually been anticipating a rather poor response.
Regardless, contrary to his expectations, Testa’s acceptance remarks would go down in history as a successful and moving speech.
Awards season was only just beginning.
And this season, Testa would have a very prominent presence.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com

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