Debut or Die - Chapter 319
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 319
Just leave Park Moon-dae as is?
In other words… whether that bastard disappears or not, I’d simply return to the point when I was targeting him and continue living as Testa.
Now there’s no need to chat further with Park Moon-dae just to show off understanding the system’s mechanics. He seemed to know nothing anyway.
I’ve done enough at this point, so I’ll stop worrying and fully claim the idol life I’ve been developing for years.
“….”
I won’t deny it.
Separate from being ruthless, it did sound plausible when I heard it. I’ve even come to acknowledge that the life I lived in that body was mine too.
‘But….’
I took a deep breath and relaxed my fists.
“That’s not it.”
“….”
Chung-ryeo stopped tapping his fingers on the table.
“Of course, what I experienced in Park Moon-dae’s body is my experience. I did it, after all.”
“Yes. So then….”
“But the body is separate.”
I leaned back.
“Just because I used it for a few years doesn’t mean I can claim it unconditionally. Park Moon-dae’s growth background is entirely what he experienced.”
“….”
“And I happened to receive quite a bit of help from it.”
If Park Moon-dae hadn’t lived righteously, I wouldn’t have been able to rank first so dramatically. And after debuting, I would’ve been marked X by past scandals quickly.
Chung-ryeo stared at me.
“You’ve never thought about how you would’ve succeeded faster if you’d done it in your original body?”
“I haven’t, and I can’t say for sure. Besides, this isn’t really about achievement in the first place.”
I let out a soft laugh.
“Park Moon-dae has the right to live in Park Moon-dae’s body. Don’t blur the lines.”
“….”
He stared at me silently for a moment, then quietly opened his mouth.
“So you’re saying you’d give up Junior Member’s career if that’s what he wants?”
“I never said I’d give it up.”
“Then.”
I crossed my arms.
“We need to reach an agreement.”
Now that his condition has stabilized, I’m thinking I should hear what he wants and work things out from there.
I’m not incapable of doing that sort of thing either.
“I’m just not going to wipe my mouth and stab him in the back.”
“I don’t understand. There’d be no need to consider him that much.”
I shrugged.
“Well… I guess I’ve grown attached somehow.”
“….”
After spending days on end sharing how Park Moon-dae had been getting along over the past few years, I—being human—ended up the same way.
‘It’s a bit funny that instead of thinking about how to make this bastard give up, I’m now thinking about respecting his wishes.’
At that moment, the guy sitting across from me withdrew his hand from the table expressionlessly.
“You’ve grown attached.”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t know that would weigh the same as your achievements.”
I put my glasses back on.
“You keep trying to measure things that don’t have to be either-or… try thinking about it by swapping ‘four words’ with ‘career.'”
“….”
“Isn’t it easier to live now with both than when you gave up one side for the sake of your career?”
Woof!
Right on cue, the dog under the table barked. Chung-ryeo reflexively lowered his hand.
I could see the dog rubbing its nose against his fingertips.
“I’m going to try handling things with the goal of managing to keep both in decent shape.”
“….”
Chung-ryeo closed his mouth with an enigmatic expression. He seemed to be turning something over in his head—whether it was calculation or contemplation, I couldn’t tell.
‘That’s unexpected.’
I thought this bastard would just encourage me and say I had good ideas, then try to thin out the competition.
‘His way of thinking is excessive, but he gave honest advice, didn’t he?’
I ended up adding briefly.
“Anyway… I’m grateful that Testa Park Moon-dae acknowledged me.”
“….”
After hearing all this nonsense, the first evaluation being acknowledgment wasn’t a bad feeling.
He paused for a moment, then let out a bitter smile.
“Yeah. Well, if that’s the case.”
No, scratch that. The way he said it like he’d granted some grand permission was getting on my nerves.
Chung-ryeo withdrew his hand from his dog.
“It’s a shame. In case of emergency, I was prepared to help.”
This bastard—surely he wasn’t suggesting he’d help bury the original Park Moon-dae.
‘How much does a first-tier idol career mean to him?’
I changed the subject to snap him out of his pointless obsession.
“Then give this body a call tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Once today passes, I’ll need to confirm who’s in this body.”
“Mm.”
“And don’t do anything unnecessary.”
To prevent any unforeseen situations, I was planning to leave a note for Park Moon-dae telling him to listen carefully to whoever calls on this number, remember their voice, and screen them out from now on.
Chung-ryeo shrugged.
“Sure. I’ll contact you from other bodies too, so wait for it.”
“That’s not necessary….”
Wait.
I recalled a call that had come through from this bastard unexpectedly one day in November.
-Well… I was wondering if you had anything to say to me.
And the next thing he said.
-Is it not time yet.
“….”
Tracing back through my memories and matching the dates, today was the day before that call.
‘So that’s how it was.’
Now I understood. That bastard had contacted me back then already knowing this situation would unfold.
‘Yet he didn’t mention it once and kept his mouth shut until I got out of the target.’
Whether it was helpful or not, this guy was utterly unpredictable. I clicked my tongue and pushed myself up.
“Should we go?”
“Yeah.”
Our conversation had run its course, and with no real leads to show for it, I figured I might as well search physically for any remaining traces of Park Moon-dae.
“Well, take care. I’ll contact you tomorrow.”
The fact that I’d already received that call was a peculiar feeling.
“Got it.”
That’s how I ended my meeting with Chung-ryeo and returned to the Officetel.
I started searching immediately upon arrival.
‘Let’s see what’s here.’
Not much turned up.
Having been cooped up in the Dormitory Academy, the Officetel didn’t have much of a lived-in feel. Only one bedroom was packed with hobby-related items scattered throughout.
Testa albums and MDs.
Since I’d always been chattering away with him about them, I’d never had the chance to open the various drawers where they were carefully stored.
‘Did he attend another concert.’
I even found merchandise from the world tour they’d done earlier this year.
“Looks like he lived quite well.”
I let out a soft chuckle and reorganized everything. Still, the fact that it had served as stress relief during his exam preparations didn’t feel entirely bad.
But the situation remained unchanged.
Park Moon-dae’s whereabouts were still a mystery, and the only thing I could confirm was the notation in the calendar on the smartphone.
-The day I meet hyung!
“….”
Beyond that, there were no special schedules, and no logged-in SNS accounts. Apart from searching for Testa, it seemed he’d done nothing but study.
I tried a few times to see if I could view his status window, but nothing appeared. Only my own ‘Reward Collection in Progress’ showed up.
“Sigh.”
That’s as far as I could go for now.
Eventually, near midnight, I sat down on the sofa and began scribbling a note.
-I came in and you weren’t here, so I’m leaving this in writing. First, congratulations on passing, and you worked hard.
….
I went through everything again—from recording Chung-ryeo’s call so I could familiarize myself with his voice before meeting him, to not leaking any additional information, to how he’d contact me in December.
And then… midnight arrived.
Ding.
I lay sprawled across the sofa.
A small chime echoed from the corner.
‘I must have changed the clock.’
With nothing more than a fleeting thought—’that one was a Concert merchandise item too, I think’—an irresistible wave of sleep crashed over me again.
Soon, sensation and thought dissolved. Just as they had these past few days.
Ding.
But the chime rang again.
‘Wait.’
And what I was doing now was awareness and thought.
‘I’m coming back.’
I didn’t know what it was, but it felt like I’d been interrupted just as I was about to sink completely into sleep….
“Hyung!”
“…!”
I pushed myself upright.
I was still inside the Officetel. But something was different.
“I’m really glad to see you, hyung…!”
A boy with an oddly distinctive face sat on the floor in front of the sofa where I’d been lying.
He resembled me in a strange way, yet not entirely the same….
“Park Moon-dae.”
At the sound of the name, he laughed awkwardly.
“Yeah… I’m not really sure if I’m allowed to be called by that name.”
I could guess why he’d say such a thing. He looked like someone had taken the Park Moon-dae template, mixed in some of Ryu Gun-woo, and frozen it all at early twenties.
‘Could it be that I received that as a new body?’
Sleep-induced headache washed over me. I pressed my temples and rose from the sofa.
“Regardless, that name is yours.”
“But… you use that name too, hyung. Since I used your name… Ah, then just call me ‘Big Dal’ for now!”
It was the kind of nickname you’d hear at a gaming meetup, but whatever. I nodded and got straight to the point.
“What’s going on with the situation right now?”
It was an emergency, yet I seemed oddly composed about it.
The boy in front of me turned toward the Balcony blinds with a slightly tense expression.
Then he manipulated the button.
“Ah, first… take a look at this.”
Whirr.
The blinds opened, and what came into view was….
“…!”
A sunset was descending beyond the window.
But not in ordinary hues—golden light and violet, crimson rays colliding chaotically, and somewhere the sensation of hearing a music box melody.
I recognized it.
“It’s a scene from the 【Magic Boy】 teaser, and it seems both my brother and I were deeply impressed by it. It actually materialized.”
“…Materialized?”
“Yes.”
He laughed awkwardly.
“This place… it’s called the Mental World.”
“…!”
“So, it’s not real—it only exists in our minds, that….”
“I know what it is. Stop explaining.”
“Okay.”
I could understand it as similar to the daydream I’d had during that comatose state.
And I also realized why that bastard was in that condition. His sense of self must have gotten mixed up while living as ‘Ryu Gun-woo’.
‘He’s experiencing quite the variety of things.’
I suppressed a sigh.
He laughed awkwardly.
“You really know everything, hyung….”
I’d go insane if I admitted how much I don’t know, so I wasn’t going to entertain that comment.
“That can’t be right. But you seem accustomed to this situation.”
“….”
“Did you perhaps… stay here continuously from yesterday?”
Big Dal, the original Park Moon-dae, sat down carefully on the floor. And answered seriously.
“Yes.”
As expected.
“And it wasn’t just yesterday.”
“What?”
“Hyung, whenever I resolved my abnormal state, I kept pressing ‘Accept Synchronization,’ remember?”
I remembered. That thing that kept showing ‘Cumulative Complete’ and left me feeling unsettled.
“It turns out that was synchronizing with the time I spent together with you.”
“Together with me?”
“Yes.”
“I have no memory of that.”
“I was in a different form.”
Big Dal rubbed his palms against his thighs with a tense expression. And spoke quietly.
He suddenly brought up an unexpected topic.
“Hyung, I… I wanted to apologize first.”
“For what.”
“The reason you suffered so much… it’s actually my fault.”
“….”
“When you fell into that coma, I had a foolish thought.”
He slowly began explaining the situation from back then.
“They said you might never wake up. So I… I cleaned up your place. And that’s when I found out.”
Following his words, the thoughts he’d experienced at that moment began surfacing directly in my mind, vivid as Gong-myeong’s own memories.
-This….
The camera I used to own.
And among the data I hadn’t bothered to delete, there were files I’d uploaded under the account ‘gun1234’.
It seemed this bastard had recognized it immediately while organizing the place.
That psychological blow had been absolutely decisive.
-What, what do I do….
“Back then… I must have been devastated. You’ve been helping me ever since, hyung, but there’s nothing I could do to help you, and it seemed like you were going to pass away soon….”
“….”
“So I was organizing my things to leave, and I accidentally leaned against the outer staircase railing while holding the trash. Without thinking….”
The one-room apartment building was so cheap that I’d always thought the railing looked precarious whenever I came out to smoke.
“But the railing couldn’t bear the weight and collapsed….”
And at the worst possible moment—when he was most mentally unstable—it shattered.
-Ping!
The absolute worst timing.
“Honestly, until now I just thought maybe my leg got broken or something… I didn’t mention it because I was worried you’d be concerned. But I think… I think I was on the verge of death back then.”
I almost bit my tongue. But his story wasn’t finished.
“So the system must have made a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
“This system grants wishes based on the thoughts you have right before death, right?”
Big Dal swallowed hard.
“But… I was wishing for you to live healthy and long, hyung, and at that exact moment you were also in a coma right before death like me… so an error occurred. It confused the target.”
“…!”
“Instead of me, you went back to the past and started living in my body.”
-Ugh….
I recalled the scene of waking up in that filthy motel room.
But the perspective of that scene was… mine.
“I think I merged with the system in that process… but it seems some sense of self remained. Like some behavioral pattern that felt compelled to set things right.”
And then I realized.
He was naturally continuing to use the word ‘system’.
…The exact usage of a term I’d defined on my own, never explained to anyone.
I barely managed to speak.
“…Status window.”
He nodded.
“That’s right.”
“….”
“So hyung, I was… your status window.”
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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