Debut or Die - Chapter 278

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 278
Testa’s Roommate Assignment.
‘Is this the fourth time now?’
At this point, even the fans acknowledge it as content with its own history and tradition.
‘Up until now, we’ve mainly conducted these through board games.’
So I thought doing another similar game-based room assignment would feel stale, and decided to switch things up a bit.
“Hello~ Testa instructors.”
“Hello!”
It was an expert consultation, plain and simple.
Right now, the seven of us were seated in a circle in the office of a research institute run by communication experts.
It was that deliberately artificial drama-style table setup—with only the front left open. That’s where the camera and production crew were positioned.
Still, we’d done this setup so many times that everyone moved naturally through it.
I observed the guys staring at the expert with eager faces.
The expert wore a gentle smile.
“I understand you’ve come to us requesting assistance with roommate assignments. Is that correct?”
“Yes!”
Bae Sae-jin’s face radiated vitality as he answered enthusiastically.
It seemed like the most energetic his voice had been in the past month—probably because he was hopeful about getting a private room.
‘Living room life isn’t so bad, they say.’
But there’s a difference between avoiding going into your room and actually preferring the living room.
Big Sae-jin seemed to glance at Bae Sae-jin with a lukewarm expression, but it vanished instantly as befitted someone being filmed.
The Director, who had walked out from behind the expert, looked around at the grinning guys and spoke again.
“Our Communication Relationship Research Institute conducts algorithmic analysis based on group members’ personalities, tendencies, and living habits….”
Skipping past this PPL introduction part and jumping to the conclusion, here’s what it amounts to.
“Through behavioral analysis and interviews, we plan to find and match the most compatible roommate for each of you.”
“Woooow!”
Dubbed ‘Roommates are Science’.
‘That sounds impressive.’
To be honest, it felt like packaging from a venture company following existing business models, but it certainly sounded good.
‘The fans will find this entertaining.’
If we pair the analysis they present here with existing Testa lifestyle and habit cuts, it would better highlight character dynamics.
It’s the same principle as MBTI.
Commonality born from shared traits.
Image reinforcement born from contrasting traits.
Big Sae-jin seemed to amp up the excitement once more.
“Wow, I’m so excited?”
“….”
I get it, so stop shrugging your shoulders.
“Then let’s begin with group activities!”
“Ohhh!”
Soon the Director left, and only the Communication Expert remained to conduct the group interview.
‘We already did individual interviews before filming the opening earlier.’
So this is the main event… hmm.
Just look at what popped up as the first question.
[There is a farmer who raises ducks and cattle. But one winter, this farmer decided to raise only one type of livestock.]
[Which livestock do you think it would be?]
“Please feel free to answer.”
“…?”
This looks like one of those IQ test quizzes floating around the Internet.
No matter how generously I interpret it, it’s just a creativity question for corporate interviews.
‘Where’s the expertise… gone.’
The individual interviews were at least professional, but this seemed to be done purely for broadcast appeal.
‘Well, it doesn’t really matter.’
Content is what matters here.
I watched the others talk while gauging the right moment to participate.
“I think it would be ducks? Aren’t ducks easier to care for? Since it’s winter, you could even bring them indoors if needed~”
“That’s true. But wouldn’t it be hard to raise them if their numbers increase?”
“I know! Cattle produce more food! It’s cattle. Go Cow!”
Everyone’s really engaged.
I raised my hand and looked at the Communication Expert.
“Does this question have a correct answer?”
“No. Please feel free to exercise your imagination and critical thinking~”
“Ooh~”
The Expert’s words acted like a detonator, and the members each added another comment.
“Hmm, since it’s winter…. Ah! Maybe the farmer wanted to make things like duck down blankets…?”
“That’s it! Ah~ very clever, Ah-hyun~”
“Ah-hyun’s thinking is really good.”
…Actually, looking more carefully, half of them are genuinely excited, and the other half are trying to make the content work.
They seem to be the ones who’ve spotted the flaws in this format.
‘The structure is hollow.’
They’re not even providing model answers—just asking us to brainstorm randomly. Does that have any appeal as content?
“I’d say chickens.”
“Huh??”
“There’s no rule saying I have to choose between ducks and cattle, so I picked the livestock with the best economic value.”
“Whoa.”
“Look at Moon-dae’s brain.”
Even as I answered appropriately, the flow didn’t feel particularly engaging.
The Communication Expert closed the question like this.
“Thank you for all your thoughtful responses and answers.”
“Hehe.”
“Oh my, we’re so grateful~”
There’s no structure to this.
If they’re only going to ask fragmented questions instead of demonstrating expertise in this segment, it would’ve been easier to watch if they’d at least categorized us by approach type.
Well, these days there are plenty of personality type tests anyway. They compare everything from drama characters to trees.
[You’re the ‘Steadfast Pine Tree’ type!]
That kind of thing.
‘At the very least, there isn’t even a time limit.’
Without any obvious stimulation, it’s boring.
I glanced at the Production Team. I even recognize some of the crew from when we worked together on that variety show about making hotteok abroad.
‘Could they be falling into a rut?’
This feels like a casting mistake, you guys.
“I’ll ask the next question.”
The saving grace was that after several rounds of similar Q&A, a review finally came during the mid-session briefing.
“Well, I’ve had a chance to observe how you gentlemen answered.”
The Communication Expert picked up his papers and began speaking with practiced ease.
“First, our Sun Ah-hyun! When making decisions, you’re thoughtful and deep-minded, so your response time tends to be a bit longer than the other group members’.”
“Yes….”
“It’s not a weakness—it seems like you’re developing your own perspective while being considerate of those around you. I think you’ll become a wise leader in the future.”
“Th, yes…! Thank you….”
“Ooh~”
Sun Ah-hyun’s face flushed red and he bowed his head deeply. The others around him clapped.
“And Bae Sae-jin.”
“…! Yes!!”
Bae Sae-jin, who’d been smiling faintly while watching Sun Ah-hyun, startles visibly.
“You have clear intentions, and I can see your determination to do your best even in unfamiliar or uncomfortable environments.”
“That….”
Now Bae Sae-jin’s face turns bright red.
“Especially in the ‘Who has the key’ problem—you were very proactive.”
This way, a remarkably positive behavioral review of all seven people made its rounds.
Passing the two youngest and Big Sae-jin beside me….
“Ryu Chung-woo tends to step back and support others’ opinions, probably because of your leadership position.”
“Mm. That could be it.”
Ryu Chung-woo chuckled and responded appropriately. I figured he wouldn’t be particularly interested in this anyway.
And finally, it was my turn.
The Communication Expert made eye contact with me and spoke.
“Park Moon-dae, you have an exceptionally broad perspective. People even say as a habit that you ‘see the big picture,’ don’t they?”
“Haha! That’s exactly it~”
“Moon-dae hyung is definitely that kind of person!”
Like they’d been completely hooked by some smooth-talking con artist, several of them respond enthusiastically.
One in particular seems to have actually started trusting this Communication Expert.
‘I’ll have to talk Kim Rae-bin out of it if he ever mentions starting a business.’
Regardless of my feelings, the Communication Expert wrapped up his remarks gracefully.
“The way you frequently come up with ideas that strike at the heart of things seems like you’re playing the role of an idea bank that the group desperately needs.”
“Thank you.”
He weaves words quite well. And I appreciated how he spoke gently without unnecessarily touching on emotions.
He probably wasn’t just speaking based on what he saw here—he’d tailored his remarks based on existing materials he’d already received.
‘Still, it’s bland.’
Without technical terminology or analytical explanations, just storytelling made the words lack impact.
‘Earlier it was half a joke, but maybe an Internet personality type test would’ve actually been more entertaining.’
At least that would have some clear absurdity to it.
I watched the Communication Expert with a somewhat hollow feeling.
“Then for the next question… ah, let’s take a brief break first.”
“Sure!”
The Communication Expert, having received the signal from the Production Team, cut the scene appropriately.
Everyone relaxed at once.
I did the same.
“Sigh.”
‘What a shame.’
It was weak.
I predicted how this content would fare, then shrugged my shoulders.
‘Well, whatever.’
We’re already filming anyway—there’s nothing I can do about it now. Let’s just focus on doing the shoot well.
“It was a fascinating experience. I think I’ll come to understand myself more deeply!”
“Wait, I need this explained! ‘Steadfast resolve’? What does that mean?”
…There are actually some genuinely excited people over there, so the fans will probably find it heartwarming at least.
If fan service content reaches that level, it’s a solid hit.
“Just a moment….”
Then, taking advantage of the break, the Production Team quietly stood up and moved away, leaving only the Cameraman and a few others behind.
“Huh?”
“They said they’re going to meet with the Director.”
I see. Ryu Chung-woo, who’d been sitting close to the Production Team, neatly summed up the situation.
‘The Production Team must’ve felt it wasn’t great while filming too.’
And the Communication Expert who’d been standing in front of us also smiled, stood up, and headed toward the Corridor.
“Teachers, I’m going to use the Bathroom for a moment.”
“Of course!”
The population density suddenly dropped significantly.
“Yes, then….”
That was the moment.
“Ugh!”
The Communication Expert, who’d opened the Back Door and was heading into the Corridor, grabbed the back of his neck and staggered backward.
And I collapsed.
Thud.
…Screech.
The Communication Expert’s white coat was forced through the doorway, wedging halfway inside.
“…??”
“D-Doctor??”
“What’s happening.”
Cardiac arrest?
I tried to move along with the others who were rushing forward immediately.
But….
Suddenly, a metal shutter slammed down directly above the Back Door.
Crash!
“What the—?”
Suddenly, the path was blocked.
‘What the hell.’
That wasn’t all.
A metal shutter came down above the large door where the Production Team had exited.
Bang!
Boom-boom-bang!
“What is this.”
Fire? Terror attack?
I tried to check the Window immediately, but… metal plating had already descended there too.
And the lights changed.
Whirrr—! Whirrrrr—!
Red and green lights in every corner of the space flashed frantically as a siren wailed.
“Everyone, over here!”
At Ryu Chung-woo’s voice, the members instantly peeled away from the walls and huddled together.
‘An emergency situation?’
I needed to secure my smartphone first….
“Hey! Look there!”
I turned my gaze at the sound of Bae Sae-jin’s voice.
The massive screen that had been displaying questions until moments ago.
It… had changed.
“Insane.”
[! AREA CLEAR !]
[LOCKDOWN COMPLETE]
Behind the blood-red text, what looked like CCTV footage appeared in split screens cascading down.
People collapsing, doors shutting.
And… the collapsed people staggering back to their feet.
[Zombie Virus Outbreak Detected Within Research Institute]
[Facility Detonation in 02:00:00]
“….”
What?
In that instant, silence fell among those who had lost their words.
It didn’t last long.
[01:59:57]
…The countdown had actually started.
“….”
Their pupils dilated in an instant as they exchanged bewildered glances. It was as if they were all screaming the same thing.
‘What is this!’
And a few seconds later.
We discovered several people deliberately hiding in the corner.
…It was the Production Team, barely suppressing their laughter.
“Excuse me.”
“No way.”
“Cameraman, come out here. What is this?”
But the handful of crew members stubbornly remained seated in the corner, refusing to comment.
Yet their faces were still brimming with laughter.
“….”
And seeing that spectacle, realization dawned on everyone at once.
“Ahhhhh!”
“Again! We fell for it!”
This entire situation was staged.
“Hehehehe.”
Meanwhile, the Production Team clenched their teeth with the sole determination not to let their laughter slip into the microphone.
Bae Sae-jin pointed sharply at the screen with his finger.
“Zombies?!”
‘I see.’
I grabbed my head and let out a bitter laugh.
So this is how they assess personality—through crisis response capability.
‘That’s why the institute was so elaborate.’
And they mixed in absurd, unrealistic elements like “zombies” to skillfully sidestep dangerous triggers like PTSD while simultaneously making it entertaining.
Brilliant, really.
‘That’s pretty damn innovative.’
The bland group interview from before was just the setup to pull this off.
‘I never saw this coming.’
I take back what I said about it being predictable.
Now I understand why the Production Team brought me in.
My blood was pumping.
“Wait, wait!! There’s a door back here!”
“What??”
“Moon-dae?”
Just then, Cha Yu-jin spotted something and urgently pointed behind the Production Team, shouting.
“Hold on~ Honestly, if you have a conscience, could you move aside a bit, noona?”
Big Sae-jin skillfully guided the Writer to step back, then placed his hand on a corner of the wall.
“Heave~”
His right hand revealed a square metal panel.
Beneath the glowing red light, a large Ventilation Duct came into view.
“Whoa.”
“Wow, how typical.”
“Should we move through here?”
“Looks like it.”
Already immersed, they began exchanging opinions rapidly.
‘Hmm.’
The content was shaping up to be entertaining.
But looking at the current situation, they must have given us a tight time limit. After all, this is about ‘disaster response’ capability.
[1:56:23]
Four minutes had already passed.
But visually speaking, if Testa couldn’t escape from here, how anticlimactic would that be?
‘The best outcome is leaving cleanly without any help.’
As soon as I thought this far, the Communication Expert’s words from earlier suddenly came to mind.
-People often speak of ‘seeing the bigger picture’ as a figure of speech, don’t they?
‘Right, that’s true. I do tend to obsess over the bigger picture.’
I chuckled softly and brushed off my hands.
“Let’s go.”
Let’s make this well.
This roommate content was going to be something worth commemorating.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————