Debut or Die - Chapter 252

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 252
In truth, there was still time before reaching the critical point where I absolutely had to verify the truth. The abnormal state countdown hadn’t ended yet.
The problem was that after the Chuseok holiday, there would be no leisurely time to unravel this.
‘Prepare the new album, then jump straight into year-end preparations.’
To demonstrate that the group’s album activity capacity remained intact, I couldn’t afford to waste this year-end period. There was no time to spare for the side effects of ‘truth verification’.
‘I don’t know how it’ll turn out… but I can’t miss this window.’
I made the most rational decision under the assumption that I could continue this activity.
…If I returned to my original body, I might regret not enduring a few more months, but for now… let’s not think about that.
We’d already agreed to prioritize a future where I could continue this.
I exhaled.
‘Let’s go.’
[‘Truth Verification’ <- click!]
I clicked on the word in the popup window.
Click.
As expected, my vision vanished.
And my consciousness sank downward as if being sucked in.

* * *
"Twenty years old, he says."
"…Yes, yes."
I'm sitting in a familiar dining hall.
It's a gukbap restaurant I've been visiting fairly regularly since I started studying for the civil service exam. The prices were reasonable, and it was convenient to eat alone.
But right now, I wasn't alone.
Across from me sits a sickly-looking young kid, spooning gukbap into his mouth.
I found him collapsed in front of the motel next door without a coat, looking half-dead, so instead of calling for help, I brought him here to eat.
'Meddling where I shouldn't.'
I'm busy enough managing my own life, yet here I am doing all sorts of unnecessary things. But what's done is done.
I sighed. The kid across from me flinched, then spoke in a barely audible voice.
"I… I don't have any money."
"…."
Did he really think I'd ask for payment after seeing his condition?
"I bought it anyway while I was eating, so finish it all."
"…Thank you."
Getting a meal that costs less than ten thousand won and acting like a criminal. Maybe it's because I don't look like someone who'd treat anyone to anything.
I briefly checked my reflection in the mirror beside the register.
A civil service exam student wearing a short-sleeved shirt, hat, and glasses. My limbs still look intact, at least.
Which means I look better off than the kid in front of me.
'Hmm.'
I observed the kid picking up pickled radish.
At twenty, he's probably not a runaway… just someone like me who probably couldn't get into university.
"Do you have anyone to contact?"
"…."
"What about your part-time job?"
"…I got fired."
I could piece together what had happened. I picked up my spoon and took a bite of gukbap.
Then I spoke.
"Go to the community center first."
"Y-yes…?"
"The administrative welfare center. Check there if you qualify for basic living assistance. If you do, you'll get monthly payments. Even if you don't, there'll be other things worth claiming, so ask persistently about everything."
I rattled off advice to him unilaterally while continuing to eat. The young man across from me seemed flustered, but he didn't object.
'It must be uncomfortable for him.'
At his age, it was understandable. I quickly drained the remaining broth and stood up.
"Well, I'm leaving. Finish your meal."
If he had any sense, he'd go check it out.
"W-wait, just a moment!"
But as I was putting on my padded jacket, I heard a flustered call.
And a trembling voice too.
"Um… thank you so much. I'm sorry."
"…."
I paused for a moment, then found myself blurting something out.
"Have you ever worked at a meat restaurant?"
"Huh? I… I haven't really…."
Well, it's tough for a minor to work at a meat restaurant. Most places won't hire unless you're a relative.
I crossed out the top candidate and pulled out the next option.
"I'll introduce you to a convenience store job. Contact them and say a former employee referred you. I'll give you the number."
The meat restaurant owner was susceptible to sob stories, but the convenience store manager was someone who upheld business ethics, so it should work out.
But the person across from me looked even more flustered.
"I… I don't have a phone…."
"…."
I suppressed a sigh, pulled out my smartphone, and wrote my number and the convenience store manager's number on a tissue.
"Get an advance on your first paycheck and activate a free phone. You can't work without one."
"…."
"Take it."
He took the tissue with a dazed expression.
And without lifting his head, he murmured.
"Thank you so much… I'm really grateful."
"…."
He seemed to be crying.
I just turned away. And just as I was about to leave.
"Um, your name…."
Well, since I've gone this far, I might as well introduce myself properly.
"…Ryu Gun-woo."
Yeah. What a brilliant move, Ryu Gun-woo.
Look at you, projecting your own circumstances onto some kid you've just met, wasting time and mental energy on something pointless.
"What's your name?"
The young man across from me lifted his head and answered with surprising confidence.
"Park Moon-dae."
It was an unusual name.
I nodded, and this time I finally left the shop. To escape this bizarre situation.
After that, I kept in occasional contact with this Park Moon-dae.
[I'm not sure if you remember, but I'm Park Moon-dae—the one who got a free meal from you. Thanks for introducing me to the Convenience Store.]
Like when he texted that he'd buy me dinner after getting his first paycheck from the Convenience Store job.
But we didn't meet often. There was no real reason to, and I was barely managing my own life.
He kept saying he'd repay me, but I didn't expect much. I'd only bought him one meal, after all.
Meeting up occasionally to eat was fine though. Since I spent all my time holed up alone reading books, my social skills were deteriorating, so this much seemed acceptable.
But my employment prospects were anything but acceptable.
"I must be insane."
I never thought I'd fail the interview. I even thought I'd done objectively well.
'Talking like some blind audition, you bastards.'
The only indicator I could guess was that I'd lost points on the personal background section.
'And I packaged that damn family situation so well too.'
It had gone over fine during the professor consultation.
Normally it would've been a plus, but this year I just had terrible luck with the interviewers.
"…Sigh."
I collapsed onto the mattress. My brain felt broken.
'Maybe I should drink.'
There was nothing else particularly to do.
So after three years as a civil service exam candidate, after failing that damn interview, I drank alone….
The next morning.
I gave up.
"Cut my losses, damn it."
The reason was simple. My savings had run out.
From the beginning, I'd only planned to go this far. Once in the second year, once in the third.
I could've scraped by with one more data-selling gig, but given my age, getting a job was safer.
'I prepared for employment security in the first place, so I can't let the means and ends get reversed.'
What I wanted was a job that would keep me from starving even in the worst case, that would pay me a salary even if something terrible happened.
"…."
I briefly considered lowering my standards, but decided against it since that would require new expenses.
'At twenty-nine, I should still catch the last train.'
That year, I got a job at a decent mid-sized company.
I thought I'd adapted reasonably well to life… but I'm not so sure anymore.
"Just have it done by tomorrow."
"Yes."
After merely twenty-nine years of living, had I scraped the bottom of my mental reserves, or was I simply someone fundamentally unsuited for society?
I often pondered this on the bus ride home after overtime.
'….'
Life simply held no flavor for me.
There was no spark, no excitement.
Existence felt relentlessly exhausting.
Nothing was particularly wrong, yet nothing was good either.
Surviving at the company itself wasn't difficult, but office politics bored me. Promotions stirred no real enthusiasm.
'This doesn't seem like a typical case.'
What was this accumulated helplessness that pervaded my entire existence?
I'd briefly considered seeing a psychiatrist, but that was out of the question. What if I got fired?
I'd thought about changing jobs too, but I couldn't muster the motivation. Besides, this company didn't give me time to prepare for a transition.
"…."
Even after deliberating, I found no real answers.
Was there anything genuinely interesting I could do, aside from the occasional drink?
One thing had flickered through my mind.
Photography?
'Too much.'
It was far too expensive a hobby. I had neither the time nor the money.
And selling data wasn't a sustainable career—not something worth quitting for. There were countless cases of people failing to recoup their investments.
"Hmm."
After much deliberation, I ordered online a way to finish everything from my one-room apartment. It was briefly interesting.
Still, I spent weeks reconsidering. It wasn't a decision to make lightly.
But even after that process, by the final weekend night, things had taken a rather unfortunate turn.
Right after I acted, there was a fleeting thought as I shuffled my feet.
'Was this depression?'
But that thought couldn't sustain itself for long.
My breath was suffocating….

* * *
"Gasp."
I jolted upright from the bed as though launched by a spring, my hand immediately flying to my chest.
Thump. Thump.
'My breathing….'
It was fine.
"Hah."
I leaned my upper body against the headboard. My pajamas were drenched in sweat.
What I'd just experienced… or rather, was that actually something I experienced?
Until now, it had been the form of confirming someone else's memories, but this….
'That was me?'
This felt like I was 'recalling' a memory myself.
But the problem was, I had absolutely no memory of ever doing such a thing!
My last memory was falling asleep after failing the civil service exam and drinking under the eaves. I had no memories of the job that came after, nor of that insane suicide attempt.
And besides, first of all….
'I've never met Park Moon-dae.'
The discrepancy starts from this very first scene.
If I'd done something so foolish and self-destructive, there's no way I'd forget it.
Yet I entered Park Moon-dae's body and saw him for the first time.
And the timeline was strange too.
"Park Moon-dae didn't die."
In the first 'truth confirmation' I witnessed, Park Moon-dae had attempted something extreme with sleeping pills at that motel….
In that moment, a strange realization struck me like lightning through my mind.
An attempt is merely an attempt.
'Park Moon-dae couldn't have died?'
Think about it.
Park Moon-dae had bought sleeping pills without a prescription from the pharmacy… in other words, just sleep-inducing medication.
'Can someone actually die from unprescribed medication?'
Once I started doubting, it became clear. A quick search on my smartphone confirmed that no matter how much of that stuff you consumed, at worst you'd experience side effects—death wasn't possible.
Then, combining the season and date I saw in this 'truth confirmation'….
'I met Park Moon-dae right after his suicide attempt.'
That guy standing vacant-eyed in front of the motel.
That… made sense.
"…."
And if this deduction was correct, it meant I had entered the body of Park Moon-dae, who hadn't died.
"Then where the hell did you go."
But there was no answer. There hadn't been one until now, so there wouldn't be one.
I went ahead and summoned the status window to ask it.
'Are you perhaps Park Moon-dae.'
But the status window gave no response either. Instead, strange text appeared.
[-Settling Accounts-]
I had no idea what nonsense he was spouting, but in any case, he showed no sign of revealing Park Moon-dae's whereabouts.
No, it wasn't just Park Moon-dae's whereabouts that mattered. What about this absurd madness I'd just confirmed about myself?
Did I really do that?
'I never thought I was crazy enough to pull something like that.'
Even if I did, why had that memory vanished? Was twenty-nine really some kind of expiration date for idols?
"This is driving me insane."
A hollow laugh escaped me.
If it were Park Moon-dae, maybe—but here, 'Ryu Gun-woo' never existed in the first place, so there was nothing to search for.
The moment I entered Park Moon-dae's body, I'd scoured everything—my phone number, SNS, university—but there were no accounts….
'…Wait.'
The data I'd collected still existed.
I ran my hand through my hair.
Then… if I reframe the question: 'Did Ryu Gun-woo ever exist in this place in the past?'
There might be a way to find related traces.
-Yeah, Moon-dae. If you're free… what if you went to the members' places instead of the dormitory during this Chuseok break? Oh, our house works too.
Ryu Chung-woo's House.
Family trip albums or videos—there's a chance traces of me and my parents remain.
"…."
Knock, knock.
Just then, I heard a knock from outside the door.
"Park Moon-dae? You okay??"
It was Bae Sae-jin. He must have heard me talking to myself.
"…Yes. I had a cramp, just a moment…."
"Oh, uh, want a massage gun?"
"It's fine. It's loosened up. One second."
I got up and changed clothes.
When I opened the door, Bae Sae-jin, who'd been sitting at the kitchen table, brightened before hesitating.
"Your clothes…."
"Yes."
I nodded, dressed in outdoor wear.
"I'm heading out for a bit. I have someone to meet."
I needed to verify this.

* * *
The first day of the holiday was unusually peaceful.
"Come here, Kkami."
"Woof!"
Ryu Chung-woo lifted the black toy poodle bounding toward him onto the sofa. The aroma of grilled meat and the sound of the holiday special program on the television enhanced the atmosphere.
Yet unlike his Grandfather's house, which would be teeming with people, the mood here was comparatively gentle.
"Oppa, I'm heading out!!"
"Yeah, have a good time."
"Ugh, come home late, will you!"
"Haha, you got that right."
His sister left grumbling that she hadn't gotten a proper treat from her older brother who'd come home after so long. Ryu Chung-woo waved her off with a smile.
With just the three of them and the dog, the house wasn't empty at all. Warm words passed between them.
"So, how are your fellow members treating you?"
"They're still good people. Kind and…."
Ryu Chung-woo, who had unconsciously lumped Bae Sae-jin in with his younger members, hastily corrected himself and placed Bae Sae-jin among his peers instead.
Then he recalled one member who, despite being his junior, was quite mature.
"Right, since they're all good kids, I was thinking of inviting our son's friends here for the holiday~"
"Hahaha."
His parents happened to bring up that topic.
The most mature of his juniors—Park Moon-dae—was whom Ryu Chung-woo had suggested inviting to the house for the holiday.
Naturally, while his parents agreed to the idea without hesitation, they didn't welcome it enthusiastically.
Even if he was Ryu Chung-woo's close junior, having a stranger who wasn't a family member in the house during the holiday wasn't comfortable.
'Maybe it was better that Sae-jin went to his own place.'
Since Park Moon-dae was perceptive, he might have felt uncomfortable instead, Ryu Chung-woo reflected.
'I hope he's doing well.'
Ryu Chung-woo posted a photo of the dog in Testa's group chat and saw all sorts of holiday food appearing in the responses.
"Everyone's doing well."
The day seemed to pass peacefully.
However, that evening—just before the night deepened.
Ding-dong—
Someone pressed the doorbell. And since it wasn't a delivery, In-young remained outside the door.
"I'll check it."
"Got it, son~"
Ryu Chung-woo rose from the sofa.
'A stalker?'
With a somewhat negative premonition, Ryu Chung-woo immediately checked who was standing outside.
"…!"
An unexpected person stood beyond the intercom.
Ryu Chung-woo opened the door at once.
"…Moon-dae?"
"Yes, hyung."
True to his word, Park Moon-dae stood before the gate.
Without any warning. Only, his eyes weren't their usual calm—they blazed with intensity.
"As you said, I came to visit. Would it be alright if I came inside?"
Ryu Chung-woo felt an inexplicable chill run down his spine.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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