Debut or Die - Chapter 189

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 189
The birthday celebration stretched on far longer than I’d anticipated.
Honestly, I thought it would end after singing, but they actually finished the entire cake in the Waiting Room.
“D-does the cake suit your taste?”
“Yeah. It’s clean.”
“The strawberry cream cake selected through voting proved to be a beneficial choice. The strawberries are in season, so they’re plump and fresh.”
The conversation continued until I’d finished the generous slice given to the birthday person.
There wasn’t even a camera. It meant we were genuinely doing this without any content intention whatsoever.
“….”
I found myself staring at the cake plate that Cha Yu-jin had scraped clean of every last bit of cream, and I had no choice but to say this.
“Thank you. This is nice.”
“…!”
“Ah~ Park Moon-dae hyung, are you getting teary! What’s going on with Tibet Park Moon-dae?”
“It’s because the cake is delicious!”
“Happy birthday, Park Moon-dae~”
Reactions came from all directions—from the one pretending to cry to the staff member who paused organizing the last of their belongings to applaud.
‘This guy.’
I let out a quiet laugh.
Then I picked up my smartphone and opened the camera app.
“A photo? Perfect!”
“Ah, it would’ve been better if we’d taken it before eating the cake.”
“I’m here!”
I held the empty cake plate and took several consecutive group selfies with the six of them.
“Alright everyone, we need to move!”
“Yes!”
And as the Manager urged us along, I finished the post I’d been working on during the car ride.
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Hello Reviewer
I’m Testa 🐕
The Concert was truly enjoyable. I can’t believe four days passed so quickly—I was that happy. Thank you.
I just received a surprise birthday celebration and wanted to share it, so I’m posting this.
I hope you all have the most wonderful night in the world.
♡🐕♡
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After uploading with my personal photo and the group selfie we’d just taken, I felt oddly relieved.
The responses came flooding in instantly.
-Park Moon-dae’s here, this is insane
-ㅠㅠㅠMundae-ya, happy birthday. What’s happening? Please explain the story.
-Ah, let’s do it together at the birthday concert. Stop the testa! Lover, stop bullying!
-I love you Park Moon-dae the Concert was so good I always support you wishing you a healthy and happy tour
-I wanted to congratulate Park Moon-dae on his birthday directly too, this much is sincere (crying emoticon)
Comments brimming with affection and excitement, still riding the afterglow of the Concert.
Even in the foreign languages and emoticons, I could feel the goodwill.
“….”
Perhaps because we’d shared direct time together just before, there was more to read in the comments. I scrolled through them slowly, refreshing continuously.
Occasionally some nonsense appeared, but it didn’t even register.
However, while not exactly nonsense, there were always comments that nagged at me.
-As expected, Park Moon-dae is fast too lol
‘…Park Moon-dae ‘too’ is fast?’
The nuance felt off somehow.
I hit back on my post and returned to the main page of Testa’s SNS account.
And I saw the post that appeared below mine.
“…!”
A lengthy post starting with “I love Reviewer” was already uploaded in several long sections.
Posted a full twenty minutes ago.
Moreover, each post included his individual photo and behind-the-scenes group shots from the previous Concert.
…It was Big Sae-jin.
The bastard’s slick face glanced at my smartphone screen.
“Ah~ Park Moon-dae posted too?”
“….”
This guy really isn’t ordinary.
‘Could that surprise birthday party have been this bastard’s move to get ahead?’
Even though it made no sense, I found myself briefly suspicious as we moved to the after-party venue.

* * *
“My~ friend~ is~ so so cute!”
“Hahahaha!”
While Cha Yu-jin belted out the nursery rhyme, the other members were in stitches.
This was the scene exactly one hour after the after-party began.
The staff had quickly left, with only the Manager and a few others remaining. They seemed somewhat conscious of the ominous company atmosphere.
And the ones who stayed behind….
‘They’re a bit drunk.’
Normally, it’s easier to be around drunk people if you’re a little drunk yourself, but that wasn’t an option for me.
What I held in my hand was non-alcoholic champagne.
“….”
“You, you! That won’t do!”
I hadn’t said anything. I silently watched Bae Sae-jin, who was eerily clearing away bottles from around me.
By the way, that bottle was already empty.
“…I’m sleepy.”
He certainly looked it. He seemed ready to use the bottle as a pillow and pass out.
‘His words are starting to lose coherence.’
I surveyed the moderately drunk atmosphere around me, shook my head, and stood up from my seat.
“Huh? Where are you going, Moon-dae~”
“Bathroom.”
Actually, it wasn’t the bathroom—I was just going out for some fresh air—but it didn’t really matter.
Since we’d rented out the entire Dining Hall with a Terrace option, I didn’t have to worry about other people’s gazes.
‘Though there might still be someone waiting nearby hoping to snap a photo if I even poke my head out.’
It didn’t matter. I was just going to sit quietly anyway.
I stepped out onto the Terrace, briefly escaping the space filled with singing and laughter.
Click.
The moment I closed the door, cold winter air struck my cheeks, but the camping heaters scattered around kept it from being too frigid.
‘This place is worth the price.’
I simply sat down and quietly gazed at the night sky.
“…Mm.”
Like all Seoul night skies, stars were barely visible, but that actually helped calm my mind.
Gratitude and joy settled into the quiet space….
Creak.
“Um, hey, Moon-dae?”
“…Sun Ah-hyun.”
Why was he out here?
Not long after I’d closed the door, Sun Ah-hyun poked his head through the reopened entrance.
“Can, can I come out too…?”
“Of course.”
It wasn’t like I’d rented the place out for myself alone anyway.
“Mm-hmm!”
In any case, Sun Ah-hyun seemed to interpret this as permission and promptly stepped outside.
Click.
The door closed again, and the terrace fell silent.
Sun Ah-hyun sat down nearby, though not too close.
“….”
Oddly enough, something came to mind.
Wasn’t this the exact same setup as when I received hot chocolate from Sun Ah-hyun?
I opened my mouth without thinking.
“Getting some fresh air?”
“Uh, uh, me?”
“Yeah.”
“That… that too. Um, w-well, there’s something I wanted to ask you….”
“Me?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Sun Ah-hyun hesitated for a moment, touching his knees, then suddenly continued.
It was an unexpected question.
“Um… Park Moon-dae, d-do you maybe… not plan to be an idol after five years…?”
“What?”
The words I’d heard from Big Sae-jin not long ago when I gave up the stage equipment came out of Sun Ah-hyun’s mouth again.
But the nuance was somewhat different.
…Sun Ah-hyun sounded genuinely worried about it.
“You, you said that to me before.”
Sun Ah-hyun lowered his head slightly.
“That, that it could be dangerous, so I shouldn’t push myself on stage. That it’s better to stay healthy and do this for a long time.”
“…!”
“When, when I did a spontaneous backflip on stage at the year-end concert last year!”
Sun Ah-hyun explained the situation in detail, thinking I didn’t remember.
There was no need for that. I remembered it well.
‘I did say that.’
Seeing Sun Ah-hyun carelessly doing something that could cause serious injury on stage, I’d given that advice because I thought, ‘When under pressure, he tends to push himself in a somewhat self-destructive way.’
And after that, Sun Ah-hyun never particularly insisted on anything reckless.
…Yeah.
Maybe it was me who did that instead.
“But, Park Moon-dae… you’re pushing yourself. You’re still not recovered, yet you’re just, using wires and….”
Once I’d recognized my alcohol dependence, I could admit this too.
I wondered if this was criticism, but it couldn’t be.
“You, you said it’s better to stay healthy and do this for a long time… so I was wondering if maybe Park Moon-dae doesn’t plan to do this for long….”
“….”
Sun Ah-hyun had unexpectedly hit upon the truth with sharp insight.
How could I reconcile this contradiction?
‘Back then, it seemed more dangerous because it was improvised, so I said that’, ‘My performance doesn’t carry that much injury risk’, ‘I thought it was essentially already healed’….
Various answers cycled through my mind. And they were the sort of things Sun Ah-hyun might roughly accept.
But ultimately, the answer that came out with a sigh was this.
“…I’m not sure.”
My breath dispersed white into the empty air.
“I feel like I want to, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to by then….”
“Why, why?”
This would be difficult to answer specifically.
I glossed over the situation.
“Because I don’t know what will happen. You never know what might occur. Now that I’m actually seeing how this plays out… it seems like this is something difficult to sustain long-term.”
“….”
Sun Ah-hyun fell silent for a moment, but then his head snapped up.
“A-actually, I don’t know if I can d-do this for a long time either… I think.”
“Yeah.”
“B-but doesn’t that mean… we could do it?”
“…!”
“I-if we safely get through five years… we could continue together, right? I-if that happens, but what if Park Moon-dae pushes himself now and struggles then, that wouldn’t work….”
“….”
“S-so, if we think about doing this healthily, for the long haul… wouldn’t that work?”
It felt like I’d been struck on the head.
His reasoning seemed more rational.
‘…I should have naturally been acting with this body’s continuation in mind.’
That it could end means it might not end.
Then naturally I should have made long-term plans accounting for the possibility it doesn’t end.
‘It’s not even a field where I can see a certain future.’
I’d been lost in pointless rumination in a situation where I could retire from a scandal tomorrow.
The irrationality of my recent attitude finally surfaced. Wasn’t it a stupid move, like abandoning retirement plans because a plague was spreading?
‘The categorization is clear.’
My mind cleared.
If I ended up living in this body even after resolving the condition abnormality, I’d definitely be cursing my past self for not establishing long-term plans—cursing hard enough to make dreams of a long and healthy life seem achievable.
I ended up laughing softly.
“Why wouldn’t it work? It will.”
“…! Y-yeah!”
“Yeah.”
Sun Ah-hyun finally laughed with a hehe. I lifted my head and looked at the night sky again.
‘Five years from now….’
Then should I map out a route keeping contract renewal in mind too?
Crack, boom!
“Wow! It’s freezing!!”
“Eugene, you’re wearing short sleeves right now!”
“What? Park Moon-dae, Park Moon-dae is here! You said you were going to the Bathroom—did you actually run away?? I’m really disappointed~”
“….”
The blueprint I’d been sketching out moments earlier was shattered by Cha Yu-jin and the other drunk guests who burst onto the Terrace, but it wasn’t entirely without fruit.
Because the very next day, a variable in the long-term plan revealed itself.

* * *
“Photos of you guys causing a commotion on that Dining Hall Terrace got taken. Listen, I told you to be careful!”
“Ugh!”
“But everyone’s saying you’re all cute. The Company already talked it over and the article turned out pretty good!”
“Phew.”
After receiving this rather nerve-wracking opening news from the Manager, what mattered was the inside information about the Company that leaked out afterward.
“Still, since the Company’s doing a bit better, they responded quickly—so we’re lucky. Let’s be more careful going forward!”
“Yes!”
I’d already seen the statement posted this morning anyway.
The Director had released it under his own name.
‘It was practically a surrender declaration.’
To summarize, here’s what it said.
-We made a real mistake in evaporating 30 seats. But Tnet is a gangster, so we had nothing to do. Please curse them quickly. From now on, we will not make a fuss and work hard to provide Testa care.
In this context, the fact that they’d written it by positioning fans strictly as customers rather than resorting to cheap emotional appeals seemed to have actually worked.
‘At least we can breathe a little easier now.’
But the Manager’s words didn’t end there.
“They’re saying there’s a personnel shortage right now, and there’s talk about reassigning some of the female staff members to other areas… Ah, but you guys, I still want to stay on as Testa’s Manager!”
‘Interesting.’
This… the power structure was shaping up in a rather amusing way.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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