Debut or Die - Chapter 132

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Fatal Illness if I Don’t Debut – Episode 132
It wasn’t the first time I’d witnessed something like this.
Fans performing special events for singers at concerts wasn’t exactly rare, was it?
I’d seen it several times myself whenever I was hired for data work and attended.
I’d never felt any particular emotion about it.
I’d simply found it remarkable that so many people, without receiving payment, could pull off such perfectly timed coordination.
But this… being the direct object of that attention was an entirely different experience.
Could all those undulating lights—each one representing a person’s heart—really feel this tangible?
Not as an outsider, but sensing this overwhelming sense of connection from the very center of it all.
I didn’t know what to say, how to describe it.
“….”
Yet the singing continued without pause.
…It was my part.
Nothing remains unchanged
But the magic of this moment
Maybe it’s YOU
An unimaginable thrill coursed through me like scalding water poured over my head, flowing all the way to my fingertips.
“…Hah.”
I hurriedly lowered my head. Once it disappeared from view, I felt slightly better.
But at the same time, I wanted to lift my head and see more.
‘…This is chaos.’
It was absurd.
The singing continued unbroken in my ears.
Today I feel so good, as if
Something wonderful is about to happen
And now the others had joined in singing as well.
Big Sae-jin was first.
“…Everything will be okay with you~”
Apparently moved, I could clearly hear his voice trembling as he sang his part.
“Li, Life is strange, lightly….”
Kim Rae-bin’s rap part followed, his voice thick with emotion.
And soon my part was approaching.
‘…I’m going to lose it.’
I picked up the microphone.
“…When you look at me,”
…I belted out an entire phrase. The words that came after didn’t connect properly.
‘Damn it.’
I clenched my teeth.
As the silence stretched, something felt off, and finally all eyes turned toward me.
“…Moon-dae?”
“Park Moon-dae?”
“Are you crying?”
Suddenly, multiple hands shook my shoulders and patted the back of my neck and spine. Confused exclamations mixed in among the fans’ singing voices.
‘…Good grief.’
I pressed the area around my eyes with one hand. Then I lifted my head and surveyed my surroundings as calmly as I could manage.
Most of the members had reddened eyes.
But while some were getting teary-eyed or glistening, none of them were streaming tears like I was.
Even Bae Sae-jin doesn’t cry like this.
‘Damn it.’
Right now, wasn’t I the only one who looked strange?
“Oh my goodness.”
“Park Moon-dae’s doing this.”
The gathered members laughed a few times, and thankfully, they began crying in earnest. They’d clearly been holding back too.
“…Let’s do our best.”
Intoxicated by the atmosphere, they hugged me relentlessly from above my head and shoulders. It was stifling.
I couldn’t tell if the embrace itself was suffocating or if the entire situation was.
What do I do
Don’t cry
It’s okay
As the interlude played, all sorts of shouts filled my ears instead of singing.
“Phew.”
The embrace loosened, and Big Sae-jin, who had rushed off somewhere and returned, held cloth in front of my face.
Without thinking, I grabbed it and pressed it to my face.
I could see light purple lettering on a dark blue background.
…It was a slogan.
Someone had thrown it onto the Stage.
‘I’m going crazy.’
I just buried my face in it. It must have looked absolutely ridiculous.
Someone roughly patted my head.
“You worked hard.”
Before the interlude ended, I was led by the members to the front of the Stage. Then, holding hands in a line, we bowed deeply.
Cheers thundered in my ears instead of singing.
I stumbled as I picked up the microphone.
“…Yeah, the magic is you.”
Fortunately, I managed to sing the final line somehow.
After the fan event disguised as a talk segment ended and I managed to say a few closing remarks, I finally came down from the Stage.
Only then did I stop streaming tears.
‘…I should’ve done this five minutes ago.’
It was absurd.
I never dreamed that my first time crying in nearly seven years would be live in front of thirty thousand people and cameras.
‘…I should have kept monitoring social media.’
If I’d known beforehand, it would’ve been better, but with the concert just around the corner, we’d all agreed to stay off the Internet for about a week to avoid unnecessary distractions.
I thought it would be fine since we hadn’t done any activities that particularly required monitoring.
‘To think something like this was happening behind the scenes in the meantime.’
There would never be another pointless Internet detox like this in my life.
I almost crumpled the slogan in my hand, but barely restrained myself and carefully folded it onto a nearby chair.
“Hey, you really didn’t see this coming. You didn’t even cry when we hit first place.”
“….”
“You really were born to be an idol. You only cry in front of fan love… wow.”
“Stop it.”
He was the one who’d sobbed uncontrollably, yet here he was flapping his mouth once he came down. Big Sae-jin changed clothes while laughing heartily.
“Hey, you okay?”
“…I’m fine.”
This one was genuinely worried, so I couldn’t even get angry.
Sun Ah-hyun seemed deeply moved, but since he hadn’t cried much, his face was intact, which saved the staff some trouble.
On the other hand, Bae Sae-jin started streaming tears only after coming down, which caught even the staff off guard.
“…How are you doing, hyung.”
“I’m, I’m fine.”
Bae Sae-jin barely stopped his hiccups and finished receiving his makeup.
“We don’t have much time left. We need to move.”
Ryu Chung-woo, who’d cried quickly and regained his composure just as fast, hurried to settle the situation. Beside him, Cha Yu-jin, who hadn’t cried and was only excited, had already finished changing clothes.
“Let’s go, let’s go!”
…Right. It was time to go.
The long-awaited title stage was waiting.
“50 seconds left on the VCR!”
We rushed to the standby area.
The set was probably already fully assembled on the Central Stage with the lights off.
I recalled the scenes from the storyboard.
An antique old mansion. A chandelier covered in dust, butterfly specimens and a rusted birdcage.
And the clockwork mechanism behind my back.
“Going up!”
The stage apparatus began to move.
As the floor opened and my head emerged onto the stage, light and roars erupted.
Waaaaaaa—
But this wasn’t the time to be overwhelmed. I shed every emotion and refocused.
Blue lighting pierced the stage.
Testa commanded the moment.

* * *
“Haaah….”
On the night of the 31st, a weekend after Testa’s concert ended on both days.
Park Moon-dae and Home Ma shuffled forward, clutching their bag tightly.
Inside the bag was a trusty camera that had completed its filming duties during the standing section.
After running through the concert for two days, crying the entire time, taking photos, and even standing to watch the Stage today, my energy was completely depleted.
But I had no regrets. Not a single one, not even a speck!!
‘It was so amazing….’
From beginning to end, there wasn’t a single disappointing element.
It was wonderful not just because of their wholehearted effort, but the Stage itself was simply so entertaining and beautiful.
It felt like I had briefly stepped into another world.
‘I wish it didn’t have to end after just two days…!’
I would have loved it if they had performed for just two more days.
And even though I had just left after watching, I already missed seeing Testa alive and moving on Stage.
Unable to contain my overflowing emotions, I opened my phone and accessed SNS.
Then I quickly uploaded the photos I had taken of the camera’s images on my smartphone—even though the quality was poor.
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[2X0331 Final Concert Park Moon-dae Preview]
(Photo of Park Moon-dae with reddened eyes) (Photo of Park Moon-dae pointing at his cheek during the unit Stage) (Photo of Park Moon-dae on wires looking back)
I love you Moon-dae
#Testa #TeSTAR #ParkMoon-dae #MoonDaeDae
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Every time Home Ma looked at the first photo she had attached, her heart ached.
It was Park Moon-dae, holding a piece of paper tightly with both hands, his head slightly bowed, holding back tears.
Home Ma patted her chest affectionately.
‘My boy is truly an angel….’
Park Moon-dae cried on the second day of the concert too.
The fans had prepared a different event from the first day—during the encore when Testa sang their fan song, they released paper airplanes into the air.
Naturally, Testa was overwhelmed once again by the spectacular sight of ten thousand colorful paper airplanes floating up throughout the Concert Hall all at once.
And as the members who were fortunate enough to catch some of the airplanes that landed on Stage picked them up, they even got to read the messages inside.
-Oh, this….
-Wait a moment, ah….
-….
The fans had written their own messages inside each folded paper airplane.
It was a cruelly touching event.
During that process, several members’ eyes reddened, and the photo Home Ma had taken of Park Moon-dae was her first preview photo.
And Park Moon-dae… despite having the image of being the least likely to cry, was also the member who cried the most during the concert.
Even when Ajusa ranked first, even at the first broadcast music show win after debut, even at any awards ceremony—this person who had never shed a single tear and only smiled now had a waterfall of tears with tremendous impact.
On the first day alone, not only the fans but various Online Communities were turned upside down.
-Did even the cold bear cry?
└Not just crying, but sobbing uncontrollably (photo)
└Wow
└This is real, tears all over their face
-ㅋㅋㅋ I thought I wouldn’t cry when I won the grand prize, but I finally broke down after singing in unison at the concert. It’s crazy.
└Eeek pervert! (shutting my mouth)
└Once they move their hand, they’re probably smiling
└How did you know
-If they cry at every concert from now on, I’m buying the VOD. I already bought this one and can’t wait to watch it in high quality
lol that’s real
-Those Testa guys all cry well. I cried at my first concert too if it was gymnastics
└They stirred up so much controversy and grew up tasting society’s harsh side before debut, so they seem to understand what fans cherish
└Yeah even if they don’t know, they pretend to know which is why fans love them lol. If they couldn’t do this, they’d have already been beaten and eliminated at the training center
-Yeah my bear with the pink ribbon playing cute, thousand-year-old bear♡♡ Testa’s bear, treat them well, even the weird song choices are getting CPR♡♡ Bear cry a lot and keep feeling indebted to the fans♡♡
Hahaha, come on in, you bastard.
By the way, Testa is an extremely distorted search-blocking name for Testa.
In any case, from Online Communities where unfiltered crude language flew around to fan accounts with courtesy and common sense, Testa’s concert activities spread rapidly across various platforms.
New unit stages, bold new song stages, and even crying—every topic worth discussing came up, so it was perhaps inevitable.
The fact that Park Moon-dae’s Home Ma’s preview share count easily broke past the thousands within five minutes of posting was one piece of evidence.
Reactions from acquaintances and followers poured in.
-Moon-dae’s blonde hair is precious, protect it always
-SO CUTE♡
-Oh my, our Mundaeng cried again. Thank you as always, Full Moonbe!
-His real skin color is beautiful, too. STOP whitewashing (crying emoji)
└This is an unedited preview, you crazy person go away. Don’t bring up whitewashing everywhere;
As more overseas fans began to attach themselves, foreign language trolling started appearing too.
‘These people pick fights with every Home Ma.’
Since I’d seen this pattern before, I easily ignored it and quickly boarded the Subway that had just arrived.
‘Ugh, there really are so many people….’
On the first day, I’d gotten a ride in a friend’s car who watched from elsewhere, so it was convenient, but today that kind of luck wasn’t possible.
‘I should have just grabbed a taxi or stayed at a hotel!’
Just as I was about to regret it, fortunately a seat opened up right in front of me and I could sit down.
‘Thank goodness.’
As soon as I sat down, I picked up my camera and started flipping through the footage.
The new song stage wouldn’t leave a corner of my mind.
‘That was seriously insane.’
I never expected they’d bring something like that. But I was so grateful they did!
Since first impression was important, there was an unspoken atmosphere of not uploading photos or direct camera footage of the new song stage until midnight, but honestly I really wanted to show it off.
‘Let me at least review it.’
Just as I was about to check the direct camera footage I’d shot today, suddenly my knee vibrated.
Brrrrr-
It was my smartphone.
And on the notification screen was… news I hadn’t even dared to hope for.
[You are invited to Testa’s concert afterparty! (clapping emoji)]
It was a W Live notification!

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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