Deadline Is Raining in the Status Window - Chapter 243

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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“Things would go much more smoothly if Sunbird were here. Would it be alright to bring him along?”
“Huh? A bird? Jiji-baibi?”
“That’s just a nickname. His real name is Aten Polat.”
“No, I don’t like it. Come alone.”
“Understood.”
He’s quite shy around strangers. I suppose that’s unavoidable—Cha Cha had lived alone for ten thousand years, after all.
I told him I’d show him a nearby passage and ring the doorbell in the morning, but Cha Cha was so impatient that he demanded I come down immediately.
“You’re the Capital resident! I’m at the Capital Academy Underground right now, so get here now! There’s a Stalactite Cave beneath the Academy, and the water drained out last time, so a well became visible!”
“Why are you under the Capital?”
What was this Underworld King plotting? I asked suspiciously, but Cha Cha only grew irritated with me instead.
“Because you’re there, you fool!”
What did my being in the Capital have to do with the Underworld King’s sluggish Underground Tomb being beneath the Academy? But I decided not to press the matter. If I kept asking, Cha Cha would only screech at me more.

◇ ◆ ◇

“The water really has drained out.”
Using the method I’d employed freshman year to enter Dr. Bruno’s underground dungeon, I rummaged through the Club Room and warped with a pop, then entered the Stalactite Cave through the wall Sera had broken through, based on the map I’d drawn back then.
I’d wanted to explore it before, but I couldn’t because I feared I’d freeze to death from the groundwater. Now the water had vanished completely. This was probably because the Department Head Professor and I had created Dragon Lake at the Old Student Cafeteria Site.
“You’ve drilled holes in the strangest places.”
Judging by his handiwork, he really was like a mole demi-human. Or perhaps a rabbit? Rabbit burrows don’t have passages in all eight directions like this, do they?
I imagined Cha Cha with rabbit ears, hopping about adorably. It was precious.
“Excellent!”
Cuteness is supreme! My voice echoing through the Stalactite Cave, I roared about wanting to pat Cha Cha’s little bottom, then walked along paths that weren’t quite paths.
Finding the well that descended downward wasn’t difficult. Amid the surrounding darkness, it glowed with a faint pink luminescence. I checked the water and food in my backpack once more, rang the doorbell, and leaped down. There was a sensation of warping with a deep hum, but I no longer felt like I was dying. My status window’s Absolute Immunity was rejecting the radiation.
“Evan!”
This time I managed to land without losing consciousness, receiving all manner of defensive buffs from Cha Cha, who’d hopped over eagerly. Cha Cha was still wearing that oversized white robe, looking small and adorable. Cuteness is truly supreme.
“Have you been well? I apologize for not contacting you—I’ve been busy.”
“You’re terrible! What on earth have you been so busy with that you couldn’t even answer my calls?!”
When Cha Cha asked for specifics, I reflected on all those days—visiting the Seed Storage Facility, then the Mana Research Institute, then holding Cecilia’s coronation ceremony, and then getting married. It was far too vast to explain.
“There were… many things that happened.”
“Well, you look exhausted anyway. Let’s go inside.”
Cha Cha took my hand and bounced along. Hopping like that made him look even more like an adorable rabbit. I matched his pace, bounding alongside him as we entered the Underground Tomb.
It seemed like the restricted areas had increased since last time.
“Hehe, hehehehe, Evan, did you notice?”
Did I notice the restricted areas had increased? The prohibition signs had multiplied, but I hadn’t understood the circumstances, so I answered that I wasn’t sure. At that, Cha Cha puffed up his chest proudly and lifted the hand he’d been holding with a flourish.
“Tada! We’ve actually been holding hands naturally this whole time!”
Hmm… I see. And what of it?
When I said I still didn’t understand her intentions, Cha Cha proudly spread her arms wide. It seemed like a request for a hug, so I scooped her up without hesitation. The little one beamed at me with a radiant smile and reported her findings.
“See! We’re so natural at hugging!”
“I suppose we are.”
When we first met, I’d thought Cha Cha was lost and carried her around, so I’d grown quite accustomed to it. As I nodded in agreement, she pressed her face against mine and planted a kiss on my cheek.
“We kissed too! That means we’ve done everything!”
“Done everything? What do you mean?”
“The things humans do when they’re dating!”
Cha Cha declared that we were now irrevocably in a relationship, so I laughed and gently stroked her head down to her lower back. Where had she picked up such strange ideas? Or had the Panda Butler taught her this?
“We just need to get married and we’re done!”
“If that’s the case, I already got married today—to Gerth.”
“Huh?!”
Cha Cha went rigid as stone. She felt noticeably heavier than before, and I couldn’t help but recall that old folktale—the one about a grandmother who grew progressively heavier while being carried, only to turn out to be a boulder in the end.
“You… you held hands with Gerth?!”
“All the time.”
“And hugged?!”
“Occasionally.”
“K-kissed?!”
“Haven’t done that yet.”
That’s right—I’d never kissed Gerth. I was surprised enough to let out an exclamation, but Cha Cha declared such a marriage null and void, throwing a tantrum.
“You haven’t even gone all the way! That marriage doesn’t count! I’m the only one you’ve kissed!”
“If we’re talking about kissing, I’ve done that with Seian.”
“That little runt got to?!”
Cha Cha shrieked and planted two more kisses on me.
“Now I’ve done it more than he has!”
“That’s true. Though the context is different.”
“Context? What’s different? I want to do the same thing.”
“You can’t. I’d get arrested.”
If you and I did that, I’d be taken away. I wouldn’t even pass the censors. Do you know how terrifying your censors are? I might never see you again.
When I explained the horrors of censorship to her, she agreed it was best not to do something so frightening.
“Anyway! Evan kissed me the most, so that means you like me best!”
“By that logic, you’d be right.”
I haven’t kissed many people in my life. If I’m not limiting it to just people, I’ve kissed White One the most.
“Hehehehe, that’s right!”
Cha Cha giggled and climbed down from my arms, rising up on her tiptoes. She asked if I thought she’d grown taller, and I clapped my hands and told her she’d grown so much. The little one bounced up and down in place with delight.
“As long as I don’t go all the way with Gerth, I don’t care! Besides, everyone who comes here has to listen to me anyway!”
Cha Cha said it would be a piece of cake to keep Gerth away by dividing up the areas, and I found myself curious. I wondered just what the Panda Butler had taught her about “going all the way.”
“What do you mean by ‘going all the way’?”
“Sleeping in the same bed!”
Ah, how vaguely well the Panda Butler had instructed her. I applauded his efforts while enlightening Cha Cha about the harsh realities of the world.
“If that’s what you mean, I’ve already done that with Gerth.”
“Huh?!”
Cha Cha’s mouth fell open in shock, and he began drumming his little fists against my chest. When a kid with surprising strength targeted a vital spot, it actually hurt.
“You little rascal! This shameless brat! What will you do before marriage?!”
“Plenty of people do that before marriage.”
“Huh?!”
Cha Cha, startled again by how fast kids these days were progressing, decided we’d talk about it tomorrow and just sleep for now.
“Fine by me. I was tired and wanted to sleep early anyway.”
“I’ll heat some water for you, so go wash up! I need to bathe too before bed!”
When I asked if he could wash himself, Cha Cha bristled with pride, insisting he was ten years old and shouldn’t be underestimated. I chuckled at the little one’s indignation, unpacked my belongings, and followed the Panda Butler to the Bathhouse, where I scrubbed thoroughly before changing into a robe.
Perhaps because we were deep underground in the Stalactite Cave, hot spring water gushed abundantly from the faucet. I warmed myself in the mineral-rich waters for the first time in ages, then made my way to the Bedroom. Not long after, Cha Cha appeared in his own bathrobe, a towel wrapped around his head.
“You didn’t dry it completely. Come here, let me dry your hair.”
I vigorously rubbed Cha Cha’s head with a fresh towel. Like a wet puppy, he giggled with delight as I dried his hair. After rubbing until static electricity crackled, Cha Cha quickly insisted we sleep, diving onto the bed.
“If I just sleep, my pride will suffer. Let’s do something with you that I haven’t done with Gerth.”
Something I haven’t done with Gerth. But I distinctly remembered sleeping while embracing Gerth back then. I recalled how refreshingly cool my head and neck had felt. Had I slept on Gerth’s arm?
“Rest your head on my arm. I never gave Gerth an arm pillow.”
“Really!”
Cha Cha nestled his face against my outstretched arm as I lay flat on the bed. I wondered if my firm arm would be uncomfortable for him, but apparently it wasn’t.
“No! It feels cool and nice, like resting on a neck pillow!”
So you really are a ten-thousand-year-old child, aren’t you? Well, I’m glad he’s satisfied. When I said it was time to sleep, the Panda Butler, who had been lingering by the door, turned off the lights and bid us goodnight. I drifted off while gently patting the little one’s bottom, my arm serving as his pillow. Sleep came easily.
“Um… but Evan.”
“Yeah?”
“Can other people really sleep like this?”
“They sleep just fine.”
Gerth and I both slept soundly this way. I stated the facts plainly, but Cha Cha seemed unconvinced.
“That’s strange. My heart’s racing, and I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.”
“Would you like a glass of milk?”
“No thanks, I’m not a child.”
That’s exactly what children always say. I stifled a laugh and continued patting Cha Cha’s soft bottom. As I kept stroking the plump little one, I gradually drifted off to sleep myself.

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I felt weight pressing on my arm. It wasn’t heavy, exactly, but there was more weight than when we’d gone to sleep. Since there was no sun underground, I opened my eyes at the rustling sound of the Panda Butler moving about—and found an unfamiliar person beside me.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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