Deadline Is Raining in the Status Window - Chapter 101

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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When I confidently declared that if Gerth were absent, Hubert must have orchestrated this, the two apex figures of the upper nobility were visibly startled.
“Huh? That guy has a son?”
“Evan. I didn’t think you’d be so reckless, but surely you didn’t take someone with a family as a lover.”
“Gerth has been a widower for a hundred years. He even had his son without a wife.”
When I stated the facts, they instantly relaxed before their expressions shifted just as quickly into something sinister. They both conspired to jab me repeatedly with their elbows—it didn’t hurt like before, but it annoyed me.
“Wow, Evan, your tastes are quite unconventional, aren’t they? A widower with a child? How delightful, you debaucherous thing.”
“I understand, Evan. I enjoy that genre too.”
Shut up, Eugene Brandenburg. My Northern Grand Duke doesn’t indulge in such content. Irritated by this sudden character assassination, I was about to throw a punch when Leri suddenly hoisted me up, did the Lion King pose, and announced we should all eat together in the Tower.
This confirmed my suspicion. This bastard was deliberately interfering. Otherwise, there’s no way he could block my fist so perfectly every time.
“Leri. Why are you taking their side?”
“Oh darling, I’m thinking of your image.”
“If you truly cared about me, you’d let me hit those bastards.”
“Hehehehe, alright, alright. While His Majesty is away, I’ll convince the Young Master to lift all dietary restrictions.”
Hmm… Leri had read me far too well. Since there was nothing more to desire, I remained quiet, and Leri set me down before pressing the elevator button.
“Going up now, darling and friends~.”
Speaking in the manner of a department store attendant I’d often seen long ago, Leri’s words made Eugene and Reina Letem rush inside, marveling at the high-tech sophistication of the Serpent King’s Tower. Kanna, for some reason, shrugged along with their comments.
“Wow, this is really fast. Look how quickly the floors change.”
“Why couldn’t the people conquering the Tower see this? I heard they used the staircase.”
“The, the Tower, only, shows it to, permitted people.”
“Ooh.”
Kanna was explaining to them what she had marveled at during her last visit. She stepped forward to add that from the highest floor the elevator could reach to the very top, one had to walk—and since I wasn’t particularly displeased, I let her continue. It wasn’t often you saw Kanna being this proud of herself.
“Th, this is the Boss Floor!”
Though behind the Serpent King’s throne lies a massive kitchen.
The floor and ceiling were made of pristine white marble, with various oddly-shaped objects floating about, and as soon as Eugene and Reina Letem entered what was unmistakably the boss chamber, they let out near-screams of excitement, fully savoring the boss stage.
“Wow, amazing! I’m actually in the boss room right now!”
“The Serpent King’s Tower is truly beautiful and clean. People who’ve visited the Dragon King’s Lair say the environment there is quite poor.”
In truth, the Serpent King’s Tower hadn’t been in great condition either. Just a year ago, I couldn’t breathe because of the stench. Leri made a show of wiping away tears, saying Hubert and I had done great work about that.
“What’s that arrow marking over there?”
“Follow it and you’ll find the restroom.”
“…Is this also only visible to people the Tower permits?”
I wasn’t entirely sure myself. I looked at Leri as if to ask if Eugene was right, and Leri burst out laughing while waving her hand dismissively.
“No, no, our Lord is quite considerate. If someone needs the restroom before fighting, they won’t be able to fight at full strength, right? They’ve worked hard to get here too.”
I see. That’s so like Gerth. It’s considerate to think about people needing the restroom before a fight.
“If they want, we provide meals and have cots set up for proper rest, but so far no one’s asked for it.”
Well, that makes sense. Who would climb all the way to the top of the Tower to defeat the Beast King and then ask for food? Reina Letem is certainly shameless, but even in the original story, she never said anything like that.
“Wouldn’t people usually not know about things like that unless you write them down?”
Right, Reina Letem—you’re the type who would actually ask for food if we posted “Meals Available Here.” Still marveling at her lack of sanity, Leri’s eyes suddenly gleamed as she spoke to Reina Letem in a threatening tone.
“Miss, if you say such things to His Majesty, he won’t let it slide.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I was grateful that Leri’s perception was at least detachable.
After going through all the trouble of decorating beautifully, that arrow sign was already irritating enough, but Leri threw a fit saying if they hung up a banner saying “Meals Available,” he’d be so annoyed he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.
“This person takes interior design seriously.”
“Leri submitted his leave of absence the moment he heard about the Serpent King’s Tower remodeling. He can’t help being sensitive about it.”
“There’s even a leave of absence system here? That’s amazing.”
“Our tower has good working conditions and decent pay. Once you graduate, would you like to get a job here?”
“Ah, I have an earl’s title I need to inherit, so…”
“Oh, what a shame. These days people rarely come by, so it’s actually pretty cushy.”
So humans can get jobs here too. I should have a career consultation with Gerth when he returns. But more importantly, why is Leri only recommending this to Reina when there’s someone with ice magic nearby?
I was grumbling to myself, worried that Bicure might feel hurt, but as I thought about it more, I suddenly realized a massive pattern that existed in the Serpent King’s Tower.
Surely, the first mid-boss I could meet in the tower was the Bat-human Bicure, and then next was Magania, right? The Rabbit-human was transferred to Bunny Land, one Sea Dragon is on parental leave, Leri came back, and there’s also the Sheep-human Wenri…
“Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep…”
Could it be that all the floor masters combined make up the twelve zodiac animals? That’s so cool.
“Ah, so that’s why the gorilla.”
“Hey, why are you suddenly picking a fight with me?!”
The rooster is probably the Object Head raising chicks, and the dog is at least Hubert who’s canine. If we assume there’s no monkey in between, then having Reina fill in as the gorilla would complete it perfectly. So that’s why Leri tried to recruit Reina without asking me first.
If that’s the case, I understand. I’m relieved we can end this without hurt feelings. Yeah, maintaining the concept is important.
“…”
Rat, what rat—dammit, I must’ve been influenced by Reina for a whole year. The concept being important is bullshit. I suddenly felt a throbbing headache, grabbed my temples, looked at Reina, and sighed. Reina complained that I was cursing at her and now I’m even sighing, and Eugene asked while trying to stop the gorilla argument where breakfast could be found.
“Over there, behind that big chair!”
When Kanna guided us to the dining hall connected to the large kitchen, Reina marveled at how the tower was bigger on the inside than the outside, and Eugene made a perfectly sensible comment about why the kitchen had to be placed on the boss floor.
I puffed out my chest proudly and looked at Leri. See? Eugene Brandenburg, who says such sensible things, is my friend. I don’t only have strange friends.
“Dear, I understand what you’re trying to say, but then your poison-using friend will feel hurt.”
But that guy is like the pride of the Assassination Family. Sometimes he scares me.
Worried that Kanna might actually feel hurt, I kept that thought to myself and entered the kitchen to ask what today’s breakfast menu was. The moment I took one step inside, Hubert shouted that I was spiritually unclean and shouldn’t come in. I was disappointed.
“Evan, why won’t you let me in the kitchen? Do the people here also say that like my mother, if you go in the kitchen, the food loses its taste?”
“That’s not it. It’s just that His Majesty and the young master said that when you come in, the food loses its taste, so please don’t enter.”
“Leri. That sounds a bit odd.”
“If you’re spiritually unclean, the food loses its taste, doesn’t it?”
“When you say it like that, it sounds like you’re calling me an unlucky person.”
“I’m not cursing you, but from the food’s perspective, isn’t it true that you’re an unlucky presence?”
I was shocked. That’s right. I hadn’t thought about it from the food’s perspective, but to them, I really was an unlucky presence.
“What? Is that a metaphor?”
“From what I can tell, it seems Evan is quite bad at cooking.”
“N-no, Evan, it’s okay! Evan is good at other things, s-so!”
Thanks for the encouragement, Kanna. But I don’t really understand what’s wrong with my food. It’s just… isn’t it edible? Of course, I’m not as skilled as Gerth, Hubert, or Mother, but still, isn’t it edible?!
Since only Mother and Gerth have tasted my cooking, I can’t ask anyone else for their opinion. When I get the chance, I should cook something and have them try it. Since they won’t let me in the kitchen, camping cooking would be good. If it’s just grilling, I should be able to do that well too.
“Breakfast is ready! Evan’s mother!”
Hubert called out cheerfully, and Reina Letem and Eugene burst into laughter. Since I’d taken a widower as my lover, it made perfect sense that his daughter would call me Mother—they found it hilarious. They seemed intent on laughing me to death.
“Hubert, I am your mother.”
“Mackerel wrapped rice! The vegetables were all grown in the Tower!”
Winter mackerel is the finest. It was likely fresh mackerel that Thomas had brought. I sat eagerly at the head of the dining table as Leri guided me. My anticipation was palpable.
“Everyone, sit down.”
“Wow, this guy really acts like he owns the place.”
Shouldn’t I be sitting at the head of the table when Gerth isn’t here? That’s how it had always been, so I hesitated for a moment—but the instant I saw the braised mackerel, I seized my chopsticks with militant determination.
“Oh, we have so many guests. Even if I bring everything, it won’t be enough.”
“Hey, don’t pick out all the meat!”
“Mind your table manners, Reina Letem!”
As Reina Letem and I began sparring with our chopsticks, Hubert threatened us not to fight since he could quickly prepare grilled mackerel, then returned to the kitchen.
Braised is the classic pairing with wrapped rice, but salt-grilled is excellent too. Relieved that we’d procured plenty of fresh mackerel, I stopped the quarrel and savored a delicious wrap. Korean cuisine is supreme. Had I not come here with Mother and Gerth, I might have perished.
“Evan! Where’s Evan, Evan! This is a disaster!”
Of course, without Thomas, it would have been a real catastrophe. He was the primary contributor to my tuna-catching endeavor, and he was the thoughtful person who ensured I ate seasonal seafood at every turn. While meat is fine, seafood truly brings a sense of the seasons and makes the table feel abundant.
“Evan, is this gentleman someone you know?”
The Bat-human Bicure had just been about to retire when urgent business arose, so he’d brought Thomas along. When I nodded that yes, this Thomas was indeed our Thomas, Bicure expressed relief, yawned widely, and said he’d head to bed. Those sharp little teeth visible when his mouth gaped open were adorable.
“Hey, why did you go straight home right after the event yesterday! This is a real emergency!”
This wasn’t actually my home, and I hadn’t left immediately after the event, but there was no need to correct him. When I asked what on earth was wrong, Thomas thrust a formal document bearing a familiar family seal into my hands and made a fuss.
“Neftis is coming to overturn Ilam!”
Why would Neftis come to my Ilam?
I read the documents while chewing on my wrap. The handwriting was a chaotic scrawl, so the author was likely that woman—the Information Bureau Director and Father’s close associate from our household. The contents were quite absurd.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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