Children of the Rune – Winterer - Chapter 475
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 245.
Playing Oneself (21)
Joshua hesitated, uncertain how to respond, when Elza added with a smile.
“From the way you’re dressed, it seems you’ve been in disguise. Isn’t that right?”
Joshua’s unease grew by degrees. At first, he couldn’t fathom why.
“Your eccentricities aren’t the sole cause, so I won’t belabor the point. Still, I must say it brings me joy to spend these days with you.”
“I beg your pardon?”
Elza laughed again.
“Even before you turned eight, you were never quite like a child in my arms. Any mother grieves to see her son grow, and when a boy who should still be young grows distant so early, wouldn’t my heart feel a certain loneliness? I resigned myself to it in time. But now, spending these recent days conversing with you, playing chess, taking walks together—sometimes I feel as though I’ve recovered my young son, and other times I wonder if you’ve simply matured…”
“…”
“I wish these times could last longer, but I suspect they are merely a fleeting indulgence. Is this the caprice of youth? What do you think?”
Joshua could not answer. She was not truly asking him—he had no words to offer.
“It’s all right. Just know that my heart has been stirred.”
What could he say? Mother, it is not I who has stirred your heart?
As Elza tested the pen nib with her uninjured hand, Joshua rose. The Duchess nodded with a smile, gesturing for him to leave.
Only now did he fully comprehend what Juspian had said. He’d thought he understood then, but the gulf between that moment and this was as vast as the difference between reading the words “pierced by a blade” and actually feeling steel enter flesh.
‘A doll sits in your place, uses your possessions with familiarity, acts as you did, approaches those who knew you, smiles recalling your memories, accomplishes what you strove to do, and receives love from those who loved you. Then where do you remain?’ Nowhere. His place—indeed, even the very space itself—had been erased.
The son in his mother’s heart was not him.
By the time this thought had crystallized, Joshua’s hand was closing the Duchess’s door behind him. Before him stretched a dark corridor lit by only two lamps. Though he knew this place intimately, though his feet had traversed this crimson damask carpet countless times, he felt as though he’d entered an alien labyrinth. He was a bird returning to an empty nest. A cat whose territorial markings had been obliterated.
During these months with the doll, his mother seemed happier than she had been with the real Joshua. She had found in the doll precisely the glass figurine she’d always desired—one that performed the role of Young Duke even more flawlessly than the original. And so the Castle had become the doll’s domain, while he drifted like an uprooted water plant across the surface of a lake. No one called him home.
As if someone had deliberately granted a wish, it was perfect.
Only when his feet stopped did he regain awareness. With no one pushing him forward, his steps had found their own destination. Joshua looked up at the door. It was his chamber.
The door was closed.
It had been so when he entered Keltika. Even more so when he beheld Jade Ring Castle. A fear had been growing in his chest—one he’d carried since the moment of first knowing, never forgotten, but as the moment of meeting drew near, terror and anticipation had twisted together, transforming into something tangible, cloaked in black fur.
How terrifying to imagine standing before a being identical to oneself. How thrilling as well. Was this not the moment he’d awaited as intensely as death itself? A demon to love and hate, a brother to overlap and diverge.
Yet in this moment, the complex emotions he’d harbored toward the doll were consumed by an intense murderous intent. Joshua wrenched the door open.
The room’s layout was more familiar than the clothes on his body. He strode across the sitting room and entered the bedroom. He didn’t even consider why the door stood open. His hands trembled as he drew back the curtains.
Nothing.
“Ah…”
At the sight of the empty bed, cold clarity finally flooded his mind. His breath caught, and the heat drained from him. Joshua stared at his own hands, extended toward the bed. He wondered what expression his face wore in the darkness, then closed his eyes.
Presently, he placed his hand upon the bedding. It still held warmth. When he brought his hand to his chest, he felt his heart pounding as though he’d run at full speed.
After a moment, Joshua rose from the bed and went to the wardrobe. Opening it, he found his old clothes mingled with new ones. He deliberately sought out garments he didn’t recognize. A black chiffon shirt fastened with delicate ribbons, a brooch set with onyx in silver leaf filigree, glossy black trousers that clung to the body, tall boots.
Joshua stood before the mirror.
The person in the mirror was not Duke Joshua von Arnim.
It was the actor, Max Cardi.
10. Playing Oneself
…And so he stepped into the crowd, playing himself. No one suspected that he was himself.
“Count Armorique has arrived.”
Duke Arnim, who had only just risen, stood by the window in his dressing gown, holding a cup of tea to clear his mind. When the servant announced the visitor, he tilted his head in puzzlement. It was rare for Joshua to call at such an early hour. In fact, he couldn’t recall it ever happening.
“Show him in.”
There was no reason to prevent his son’s visit simply because it hadn’t happened before. Duke Arnim approached the comfortable chair with his teacup in hand.
When the door opened, Theo was sitting in one of the chairs facing across the table. More precisely, he was staring intently at the chair opposite him. As if conversing with the large shadow cast by the candles lit behind his back, his body leaned forward.
At the sound of footsteps, Theo turned his head. Defenselessness, bewilderment, contemplation, tension—several expressions flickered across his face before settling into a puzzlement I thought would pass in an instant. It was an expression change like turning the pages of a book.
“What brings you here at this hour of the morning?”
Joshua stood in the doorway, staring at Theo intently. He deliberately waited in that posture. Five seconds passed, and Joshua raised his eyebrows slightly.
“You’re up early too, Theo.”
Saying so, he approached and sat in the chair across from Theo. I noticed Theo fidgeting with his hands. Theo spoke.
“I haven’t slept.”
“Is that so? Do you have something troubling you?”
“I always have plenty of worries.”
A subtle smile appeared at the corners of Theo’s mouth. It was an inscrutable smile, like in the old days. Joshua smiled back knowingly. Then, turning his gaze, he discovered a candy jar sitting on the table. It was a familiar container.
“May I have one?”
Joshua didn’t wait for an answer and popped a candy into his mouth. A bitter taste spread across his tongue, but he didn’t frown.
Theo watched him while responding.
“Go ahead.”
Joshua’s hand slowly covered the candy jar’s lid. Theo’s gaze followed that hand—the gleam of the onyx cufflinks embedded in his sleeve, and the wrist beneath the black chiffon until the movement ceased. Joshua deliberately lowered his hand onto the armrest. He tilted his head back slightly.
“Actually, Annie told me to come see you. Did you have something to say to me?”
Theo seemed to relax at those words.
“No.”
“Then you just wanted to talk?”
As if there was no need to hear the answer, Joshua shrugged. And he continued.
“Your sister’s death anniversary is coming up soon.”
“…Yes, it is.”
“And her birthday too.”
Theo didn’t answer. Joshua sucked on the candy and spoke in a murmur.
“I’ve never been at the Castle on her death anniversary. That’s why it doesn’t feel quite real to me.”
Emotionless eyes were studying Joshua’s face.
“It’s as if my sister went to Hyacan and will return on her birthday soon. If you weren’t standing right before me, I truly would have felt that way.”
Theo spoke abruptly.
“I’ve attended memorial services for years, so I don’t have such thoughts.”
“I suppose so. At times like this, it seems Ive was truly closer to you than to me.”
Theo’s lips barely formed a smile.
“We were husband and wife.”
Joshua laughed, wrinkling his nose.
“I’ve never been married, so I don’t quite understand what makes a husband and wife so special.”
After a moment, he added.
“And you and Ive were probably different from other couples.”
Theo’s pupils wavered slightly.
“Do you mean because Ive was different from other people?”
Joshua swallowed once and spoke quickly.
“You can’t deny it, can you?”
Theo’s hand stilled its restless movement. Joshua continued to watch it, his smile never wavering.
“Do I really need to explain to you, of all people, what kind of person Ive was?”
“I know what kind of person my sister was. What I mean is—”
Joshua bit down on his candy, shattering it between his teeth as he spoke.
“—how could you have loved a sister like that?”
Theo turned his head sharply toward the window. The movement was far too abrupt to be mistaken for mere contemplation. The instant his gaze left Joshua, the smile vanished from Joshua’s face as well.
The sun had not yet risen. Had he turned his head only slightly, the lamplight from the left would have illuminated a thin line beneath Joshua’s eyes—a mark far too crimson to be dismissed as mere exhaustion from sleepless nights. In this moment when he could not wear his mask, Joshua concealed the gleam in his eyes within the shadows cast by candlelight.
“Ive—”
Theo’s gaze returned. Candlelight trembled at the tips of his golden lashes.
“—loved you. More than she loved me.”
Joshua shook his head.
“That wasn’t true.”
“Do you know why Ive ended up bearing a child?”
At the abrupt shift in topic, Joshua’s brow twitched momentarily. Theo’s lips twisted as well.
“It was because of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“After the wedding, we departed for Hyacan, didn’t we? Before even three days had passed since our arrival, Ive wept and whined all day long about wanting to see you, tormenting everyone around her. I told her that her younger brother would grow and eventually become a man. So I told her to bear a child who resembled you—that way, the child could never grow taller than Ive.”
Joshua found himself speechless. Theo’s lips curved into a parched smile.
“The child born didn’t resemble you. But once a woman becomes a mother, she forgets why such things happened in the first place.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because of you.”
Theo lifted his back slightly from the chair.
“Ive loved you so dearly, and hearing such words from your mouth—I simply cannot bear it.”
Joshua drew in a shallow breath. He barely suppressed what he wished to say and found instead what he needed to say. It was still possible.
“If you ask me whether I loved Ive, the answer is no. Ive was my sister. Blood. But you didn’t have to marry Ive. That’s why I’m asking the reason.”
Theo’s expression turned cynical.
“Didn’t people speak of such reasons often enough?”
“I thought those reasons spoken by others weren’t worth hearing.”
“It seems odd to ask now.”
“Because my sister is dead?”
A white flame passed through Theo’s eyes.
Children of Rune – Winterer
Author: Jeon Min-hee
Publisher: 14 Months Publishing
The copyright to this book belongs to the author and 14 Months Publishing.
To reuse all or part of the contents of this book, written consent from both parties is required.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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