Black-Haired Dad Isn’t Something You Reap - Chapter 8

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

Chapter 08. With Effort, Anyone Can Become a Tyrant (1)
Life is absolutely delightful when you’re whistling while riding a tricycle.
Today, like every day, I wandered through the Imperial Palace, savoring a life of leisure without a single moment of study.
My elephant slide was being guarded by Imperial Guards stationed there at my command, so I could roam about without worry.
The Palace Attendants seemed to be suffering from having to follow me around, but since I’d decided to live recklessly, I paid no mind to such trivial matters.
“Oh! Piggy!”
Who is this? Isn’t it my comrade who underwent quartering!
Unlike me, this man had been the Minister of Finance of this nation, subjected to quartering without a shred of injustice.
The amount of money he’d embezzled during the Emperor’s reign was enough to rival the Empire’s supplementary budget, and when it all came to light, he became the first to have his body split into five pieces before me.
I’m not sure if it was intentional, but seeing that spectacle made my fear all the more acute.
When they actually connected Sorang and me with rope, I thought I’d piss myself from terror.
“Your Majesty, that is the Minister of Finance, not a pig.”
“I see, piggy.”
As I laughed and forced him to laugh along with me, the Minister and his subordinates produced strained smiles.
Ah, being the second-highest rank in the Empire truly has its perks.
Power tastes this sweet, piggy.
“What brings Your Majesty to this place? The Ministry of Finance is hardly a fitting venue for one so young to play in.”
“So you’re saying there’s nowhere in the Imperial Palace I can visit?”
“That is not what I meant, Your Majesty.”
“How dare you obstruct the rightful heir’s procession?”
Ugh, if he kneels with that massive frame, his joints will genuinely dislocate.
Get up quickly. You’ll need those joints for the rest of your life.
“I have overstepped my bounds, Your Majesty. Of course, the rightful heir may go anywhere.”
“Good. I shall forgive your rudeness this time.”
“Your grace is boundless, Your Majesty.”
Well then, let me see… Since we’ve met like this, it must be fate. Let me try saying something I’ve been meaning to say.
“Piggy.”
“Yes, Your Majesty?”
“I also know the value of money.”
As I opened my mouth wide and made an “aah” sound, gesturing for a coin, the Minister of Finance chuckled and pulled out a 500-drachma coin from his pocket.
“Are you testing me?”
“My, Your Majesty already understands the value of currency!”
As the pig laughed heartily, those around him laughed as well. After indulging in this arrogant laughter for some time, the pig withdrew a 100,000-drachma note—the largest denomination in the Empire’s currency—and pressed it into my hand.
“With Your Majesty’s brilliance, the future of the Empire shines brightly.”
“Piggy, remember this.”
Does he think I’m so easily amused that I’d accept a mere bribe?
Does he really think I’m the sort of rightful heir who’d settle for just 100,000 drachmas?
I steered my tricycle and ran over the pig’s hind legs, then turned the handlebars.
I need to teach this pig a lesson so he understands the proper amount of tribute to offer.

✦ ✦ ✦
I arrived at the Political Detention Center, dragging a procession of Palace Attendants behind me—a place where I had once owed a debt of gratitude.
Though Prisoner was no longer here, the friends in this place were all good people who respected the legitimate bloodline.
I pedaled my tricycle furiously down the descending path beside the stairs, receiving salutes from the Jailers as I searched for someone.
“Listen up, everyone! Who here has a grudge against the Minister of Finance!”
Anyone with a grudge against that pig, raise your hands now! If you give me information, the legitimate bloodline of this Empire will take your revenge for you!
“What business do you have with the Minister of Finance?”
“Oh! There is one! That’s him!”
When I came to a stop in front of the Prison cell where someone had called me over, I saw that same silhouette from before appearing again.
Pink-tinted hair, plump skin, that marshmallow-soft figure. Cleaner than the greasy Minister of Finance, but otherwise completely identical.
“…Are you a relative of the legitimate bloodline?”
“How did you know?”
Anyone could tell, you fool.
The man seemed amazed that I had guessed it from just the silhouette, and he approached closer to the bars. When he saw my body, he burst into laughter.
I decided to beat this marshmallow first, so I ordered him to extend his hand. He obediently held out his hand to receive the beating and then listened silently to everything I said next.
“So it is. Your elder brother refuses to cough up the bribes.”
“Huh?”
“Yes. My eldest brother. I’m the youngest, with three more in between.”
Oh my, Mother has been quite industrious these days.
When I praised Mother’s efforts in producing such precious subjects for the Empire, the man thanked me and fell into contemplation.
“My elder brother is so careless that there are plenty of places to poke holes in his affairs.”
“Hmm.”
You’re calling someone careless when he’s embezzled public funds on the scale of the Empire’s annual budget? You must have some real ability.
As I asked with curiosity about knowing the future, the man humbly demurred, saying it was only obvious because the other party was family.
“I see. First, how much would you like to expose?”
“Hmm…”
I hadn’t really thought about that. Well, I didn’t want that much money anyway—just enough to buy what I desired would suffice.
“These days among the common people, there’s talk of something called Marida.”
“Yes.”
“They say the Huejeon Mongma and Gwannam Tea are all the rage.”
“One invitation would be sufficient.”
“Hehehehe!”
What, is this guy a genius? I really like this pig!
According to him, the Minister of Finance, like all other nobles, had a hidden lover, but his legitimate wife was apparently terrifying.
It was a case of marrying well into a family that served good gods, so he couldn’t even breathe in front of his wife.
In any case, if I invited both that lover and the Minister of Finance’s wife to the tea party hosted by the Princess, the pig would be so frightened that he would bow his head before me.
“A brilliant plan!”
“Thank you for thinking so highly of it.”
“Tell me, what is your name?”
When I asked, the soft marshmallow dropped to one knee and spoke solemnly toward me.
“Tarquinus Krishna, Your Majesty.”
“Tarky, Talku.”
Why is this so difficult? My tongue keeps twisting.
I heaved a deep sigh and looked up at the man.
I’m afraid I won’t be able to call you by your name until my tongue loosens up.
“Marshmallow.”
“….”
“Marshmallow.”
“…Yes.”
I told Marshmallow that he could use anyone from the Princess Palace whenever he needed anything.
Now that I think about it, I’ve also forgotten to reduce their sentences. I’ll have to stop by the Ministry of Law on my way out and grovel on the floor.
I blew my whistle with a flourish and solemnly declared my departure. At that, cries of “Safe travels, Your Majesty!” echoed throughout the prison.

✦ ✦ ✦
Less than three hours after sending the invitation, the Minister of Finance came rushing to the Princess Palace in a panic.
I sprawled across the golden chair in the Princess Palace’s reception hall and greeted the pig, who broke into a cold sweat wondering what I could possibly want.
“I don’t really want anything, you see~.”
“Yes. Please give your orders, Your Majesty!”
“These days, you know, what’s popular among the nobles outside the palace?”
“Yes, Your Majesty!”
“Like, um, carousels and such.”
“…Yes?”
“Or bumper cars and such, roller coasters and such.”
“….”
“Those kinds of things are becoming trendy, you see.”
As I played dumb, the pig immediately began construction, smashing his head against the marble floor.
Marshmallow’s strategy is working perfectly. Truly, Marshmallow is wonderfully clever.
I enjoyed watching the construction progress with quiet satisfaction, and bestowed a suitable amount of gold ingots upon Marshmallow.
Since Marshmallow never asks for anything, I can only express my feelings through gold.
After all, there’s no one in the world who dislikes gold ingots.
Days passed, and today I drank a bowl of antidote and cold water to watch the construction site again. But for some reason, none of the attendants had an unblemished face.
Wondering what had happened, I called for Emily, but she kept her mouth shut and refused to explain.
“Emily, do you wish to be severely punished?”
“It is too shameful to report, Your Majesty.”
Hmm. So the Empress Palace attendants have been acting up lately, and when I sent people to teach them a lesson, they came back with their faces all scratched up?
“So that’s why you look like this?”
“….”
“Did you lose?”
No, what is this! The Princess Palace attendants went out to fight and came back defeated!
“These shameful fools!”
“My sincerest apologies, Your Majesty!”
“We only wanted to win!”
“We had no idea they would involve the Imperial Guard!”
What in blazes! Why did the Imperial Guard get dragged into a squabble between Palace Attendants? I’ve never seen such wretches deserving of divine punishment!
When I slammed my fist against the bed in frustration, the attendants fell to their knees and wept, dabbing their tears with their sleeves.
I don’t have time for this. Between the elephant slide incident and now this blockhead’s lover acting so insufferably arrogant, things are spiraling out of control.
That’s precisely why the subordinates are growing so brazen.
“Ugh….”
Even if I pleaded with the blockhead, his eyes were so fixed on that woman that he’d never listen to reason.
As I pondered what to do, I suddenly recalled the advice Marshmallow had given me before.
That’s right—this wasn’t a matter to be settled face-to-face. I needed to exert indirect influence and engineer the desired outcome.
“Attendant! Send an invitation to Count Bridget’s household!”

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————