Black-Haired Dad Isn’t Something You Reap - Chapter 259

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Epilogue
Side Story 5. The Life of a Seasoned Scoundrel—Do Not Attempt If You Are an Ordinary Person (1)
“Hmm… I’m in quite the predicament…”
I sat in the Consort Palace, sipping a non-alcoholic mojito through a straw, deeply troubled by the critical juncture I now faced. With my heart heavy, I moved my piece across the board with a sharp click, and the Chief Chamberlain of the Consort Palace looked utterly flustered.
“My lord, did you not say you would let me win?”
“Oh, well then, should I remove another piece for you?”
Teaching the rules to those unfamiliar with the game was delightful. After constantly facing supercomputers like Shirley and Nanakda, playing so casually without exerting myself was incredibly fun.
“You must be exhausted from attending to state affairs. I’ve brought you some warm water.”
“Really, you needn’t go to such lengths.”
And these attendants were far too kind. When I mentioned being tired from running around these past few days, they offered foot massages and brought water with such devoted care.
Recovery from fatigue was best handled through medicinal herbs or healing spirit stones, but receiving such personal attention felt wonderfully warm. Above all, the Consort Palace attendants were handsome—quite the treat for the eyes.
“Will you be resting here in the Consort Palace again tonight?”
“Yes. It feels lively and lived-in here, which I find pleasant.”
The Emilys at the Main Palace served well enough, but they were so perfectly attuned to my needs that it became exhausting at times—as if they were moving my limbs directly.
I let my body go limp and accepted the attendants’ ministrations. The men smiled shyly as they kneaded my feet and hands, and I thought to myself: so this is why one becomes an Emperor.
“I shall prepare your bedchamber now. Should you need anything at all, please call for me without hesitation.”
“Very well.”
How could I be uncomfortable when they were caring for me with such devotion? I dismissed the attendants and lay down on the plush bed. I hadn’t done much today, and my consorts had been quiet, so I expected to sleep deeply and soundly.
Ever since Kisomalos regained his strength, things have felt most effective. Not a single spam deity has appeared. Those who might have caused trouble are already entangled as mentors or guest lecturers, I suppose…
In any case, I fell asleep quickly, but I nearly woke from the sudden, thunderous noise.
“Hey, you glutton!”
“Kyaaaah!”
The sound reverberated through my eardrums straight to my bones, and I reflexively grabbed my head and sat up to find an angry Media standing before me. No—I’d just praised Kisomalos for blocking spam deities so well, and now this?!
“You wretch! You absolute wretch!”
“Wait, don’t grab my collar! It hurts! It hurts even in a dream!”
And Media’s nails are long, so I’m getting scratched! I saw that when Father Chiron hits me in dreams, it affects reality too, so if I get wounds in the Consort Palace without Croa around, wouldn’t that be suspicious?! Especially if I get scratches on my neck or chest?!
“And you—you dared to take concubines!”
“Aaaah! What did I do?!”
“You! Our Croa even resolved to become pregnant because of you!”
When did I ever take concubines?! I protested indignantly, but Media, perhaps mindful of Croa’s dignity, mercifully began beating me with a pillow instead.
“Honestly, this time you’re truly at fault, descendant.”
“Kisomalos!”
No—if you came together, at least try to stop her! You’re supposed to be her former husband! In the main story, you two overcame hardship and seemed to have reconciled! Do something!
As I curled into a ball to protect my vital points and cried out, this two-headed goat bleated “meh-meh” and squeezed its eyes shut.
“You can tell I’m in golden ram form, so you should know I’d burst if I were human.”
“You’re still like this?”
How did I end up born into this family and condemned to be tormented by Media and her ilk for life? Tears pricked my eyes, but I decided to accept it—it was my life, after all.
“In any case, I apologize! I am foolish, so if you would teach me, I shall correct my ways without fail!”
“Sigh… you…”
Media looked at me, then at the two-headed goat, then back at me, then at the goat again, questioning whether I was trying to evade responsibility. I shook my head desperately. Whether my sincerity reached her or not, the goddess looked at me once more, sighed deeply, and seemed to calm down slightly.
“Phew, yeah. That’s just how this family is.”
“I’m glad you understand!”
“Shut it!”
“Yes, sir.”
The moment I clamped both hands over my mouth, Media pressed her temples and aired her grievances.
“Hey, you—what was all that manly behavior today?”
“Manly behavior?”
“Tonight, you were practically writhing around with attendants all over you!”
“Oh, you mean the massage?”
I stood there bewildered, and Media, exasperated that I wasn’t following, chided me for engaging in “masculine conduct mixed with concubine-like servility.” I wondered if that was true, but I still couldn’t bring myself to agree.
“But… how could an attendant be considered a man?”
“What?”
“An attendant is a subordinate rank, after all. To view someone as the opposite sex requires that we first be equals.”
“Oh…”
Media seemed somewhat impressed by me, then said something cryptic to the golden sheep.
“I can’t tell if this one’s better than a beast, or if you’re just an egalitarian.”
“Our child was born and raised in the Imperial Family. I lost my throne and clawed my way up from nothing.”
“So you indiscriminately took anyone who came along?”
“…No comment.”
Kisomalos had truly grown. Whatever he said would offend someone, so silence was the wisest answer.
“Well, given your discriminatory attitudes about social rank, I’ll overlook what happened today.”
“Thank you!”
Whatever the reason, I’d survived! Thank goodness for my discriminatory views!
“But it’s laughable that an Emperor wouldn’t understand this. Think carefully about why your subordinates throw themselves at you.”
“I shall reflect upon it most carefully!”
Pondering alone wouldn’t yield answers, so I’d have to ask the Chief Chamberlain or Father later. I bid Media farewell and assured Kisomalos I’d appreciate his continued efforts to block such visits.
At least he still cared enough about his descendants that I could sleep soundly after Media left.
“Yaaawn.”
Even so, a visit from an ancestral deity left me exhausted all day. Especially since a foreign deity’s wavelength didn’t align with mine, doubling my fatigue. Though the sun was high in the sky, I sprawled half-reclined on the throne, yawning widely, and the ministers began voicing their complaints.
“Your Majesty, you shouldn’t behave that way, even if tired.”
“We fear strange rumors might spread if you frequent the Consort Palace without its mistress.”
Ah, this—wasn’t this what Media mentioned? If the ministers were saying it too, perhaps I really had strayed from propriety?
“Well, about that…”
I assured the ministers I’d already considered it, then used my trump card—Father—to signal I’d handle it properly.
“I shall consult with the power behind the throne.”
“Wise decision, Your Majesty!”
“We are delighted by your diligence!”
Notably, those praising me were the Ljubljana Diplomats and the Media Envoys with no connection to Ismenios. Hmm… this wasn’t just a family matter—there was a diplomatic angle too. It seemed I really did need to step in as Emperor.
I resolved to push through today’s necessary matters and postpone the Nanakda and Croa situation further, then headed to Father’s office. I considered summoning the Chief Chamberlain, but she was already there. The Chamberlain must have had business with Father too.
“There you go again, leaving the child to amuse herself!”
The Chief Chamberlain was boxing the ears of the Emperor himself—the unseen power broker of an entire nation. Today was definitely not a day to sass Grandmother. I straightened my posture with measured grace, adjusted my garments with care, and offered my respects to both the Chief Chamberlain and Father.
“Madam Listo, Your Majesty, I trust you are both well.”
“Please don’t use that dreadful tone.”
“It stirs up unpleasant memories.”
Father and Grandmother both grimaced. Ha—they knew I occasionally affected such formality purely for entertainment.
“Grandmother, why are you hitting Father?”
“A telegram arrived from the King of Media. He’s asking whether Your Majesty truly resides in the Consort Palace every single day.”
“Oh, that.”
This seemed to be escalating. The attendants in the Consort Palace had been carefully selected by Ismenios himself, so I’d assumed everything was perfectly secure.
“I was going to ask about that anyway. Why is it a problem that I visit the Consort Palace?”
“Good heavens…”
The Chief Chamberlain clutched her head as if seized by a migraine. Father, meanwhile, already understanding my situation, continued speaking while pinching the Chief Chamberlain’s nose.
“I told you—a girl who thinks babies come from sleeping naked with someone has no business playing around with men.”
“That’s precisely why she needs stricter supervision! What if those scoundrels deliberately try to seduce her? She’s that ruffian’s daughter—of course she’d fall for it!”
Surely that’s too harsh, even for being Helbatro’s daughter? I mean, really—how could anyone compare me to that wild beast? I was about to ask Father to take my side, but the fool just looked shocked and agreed with the Chief Chamberlain instead.
“I hadn’t considered that.”
Not a single ally for me in this entire Imperial Family.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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