Black-Haired Dad Isn’t Something You Reap - Chapter 253

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 253. LOVE AND PEACE (1)
After that, I ended up in a hospital bed alongside Father—I because of my right hand burns, and he because of rigor mortis. I’d expected we’d cry and wail when we came back to life and saw each other again, but watching the two of us lying there wrapped in bandages and hooked up to IV drips, I could only laugh.
Father and I laughed ourselves silly staring at each other from our beds, while the Chief Chamberlain did all the crying and wailing on our behalf. The Chief Chamberlain cried, my Aunt cried, Croa cried, Shirley cried. The people who’d been clawing at us in tears stopped their sobbing the instant it ended and launched into nagging.
“Have you lost your minds?! If you knew about your fated death, you should have consulted with me first! Why did Ende have to die, you burnt fool!”
“Father, my heart nearly stopped back then! Please don’t die again! Not in my lifetime!”
“What on earth were you doing there that your hands got burned like this, Pisha!”
Ah, well, you see. The protective magic the Underworld’s master granted me unraveled when I returned to the mortal realm, but Father’s presence still retained residual heat, so that’s what happened.
Still, my fingers retained all their nerves and I can move them, so it’s not too bad. I’d even made peace with the idea of wearing a prosthetic arm for the rest of my life.
“Oh, you like prosthetic arms! You’re not going to ask me to make one for you, are you!”
“I’m the one wearing it, so of course you have to make it!”
“Ugh! You’re infuriating!”
Ow! I’m in pain! I’m a patient! I raised my right hand wrapped in bandages and whimpered, and Shirley stepped back, telling someone to bring painkillers.
…Surely she doesn’t plan to hit me again after giving me the painkiller?
“So now, we just need to repay Pisha’s divine power debt?”
“Come to think of it, they said Kisomalos has gone silent.”
“Oh, that—Nanakda and Grant said they’d go negotiate on his behalf, didn’t they?”
So that’s why Nanakda isn’t here? But where exactly did they go to negotiate? Is Tick-Tock in the Mortal Realm?
“In theory, if you can warp to the Underworld with warp stones, you should be able to reach the Divine Realm too, so they took two with them.”
“Argh!”
This bastard won’t let me use them, but he goes around burning through warp stones! I was thrashing about in frustration when I heard the sound of wheels rolling outside the door, and a new patient was wheeled in.
“B-b-b-brrrr, so c-c-cold, the Divine Realm is f-f-freezing.”
“Nanakda!”
I came back half-burned, but how did you end up half-frozen?!
Nanakda, wrapped in heat packs and transferred to the bed next to mine, continued speaking through chattering, pale blue lips.
“The u-u-universe, it was c-c-colder than expected, m-m-much, the temperature, I c-c-couldn’t, survive.”
“Where’s your protective gear! I only trusted the Underworld’s master and went unprepared! You should have brought something to protect yourself! Defensive divine robes or something!”
“I b-b-brought them, achoo! I m-m-miscalculated the time, achoo!”
You should really just lie there quietly for now. I was about to have him rest, but Father, unable to resist his curiosity, asked the question everyone else had been too hesitant to voice.
“So. How did the negotiation go? Did you really get to see something that entertaining all by yourself?”
Father seeks entertainment even after coming back from the dead? I tried to restrain him, but surprisingly, Nanakda gave a thumbs up and pulled a videotape from inside his coat.
“I m-m-managed it, Father!”
You really have lost your mind. You brought a movie camera to a place where you might die? I was dumbfounded, but Father seemed genuinely moved, letting out a choked voice. I’d never seen Father like this before.
“I recognize you as my official son-in-law.”
“I-I-I’m thrilled!”
“Krrgh!”
Croa is absolutely furious. Well, he’s been persistently calling Father “Father” all this time, but he’s never been properly treated as a son-in-law until now. I’ll have to comfort him later.
“I order you to edit it! As soon as your body recovers, we shall hold a screening!”
Father’s giving orders like an Emperor even though he’s neither Emperor nor anything else now. To preserve Father’s dignity, I issued a decree that it shall be done, and Emily and the attendants took the videotape and headed to the Kisomalos Broadcasting Station editing room.
The tape Nanakda had risked his life to film was screened a month later in a place where all the relevant parties had gathered.

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“Pisha, please sit next to me.”
“No, sit next to me instead.”
“Hey, my ball is the biggest, so obviously you should sit next to me.”
“I shall sit between Father and Choco.”
This was becoming a problem. When it was just Croa and Shirley, I could squeeze between them and both would be satisfied, but now that Nanakda had joined, they bickered about everything.
“Chief Chamberlain, is it okay if I drink cola…?”
“….”
“You can’t watch a movie without popcorn and cola, right? It’s okay if I drink it?”
“Why are you even asking when you’re going to drink it anyway!”
“Because you’ll nag me if I just drink it!”
After Father and I returned from the Underworld and Nanakda returned from the Divine Realm, Nanakda and I had mostly recovered, but Father was still confined to a wheelchair. The healing divine power couldn’t resolve it, and the physicians kept saying that because Father had been in a comatose state for so long, it would be difficult for sensation to return. I nearly ordered the execution of everyone like a tyrant in a novel.
Netcha said he would bring a descendant of someone called Huatuo through his divine connections, so I held back, but if even he says there’s nothing to be done, I don’t know what I might do.
Ha, if I kill them one by one, eventually some physician will step forward claiming they can fix Father.
“Why do you have such a gloomy expression?”
Choco asked before the theater lights went out, noticing my dark expression. I answered her question with complete honesty.
“Because I’m thinking gloomy thoughts.”
“The Princess has been corrupted by hanging around with you.”
“Then you shouldn’t have died in the first place.”
Right. I shouldn’t have died in the first place. And technically I’m the Emperor now, not the Princess, but Father seems more comfortable with the old title, so I’ve decided to let it be. Besides, who knows what the future holds. I’m absolutely determined to hand over the real authority to Father and become an Emperor who does nothing but loaf around.
“The lights are going out! Please watch your step if you need to move during the intermission!”
It was finally starting. Emily and the Dharma Religion believers had poured their hearts and souls into editing the tape for this screening. Their enthusiasm was so intense that these people had been holed up in the broadcasting station for an entire month doing nothing but tape editing and voice dubbing, which meant I had to bathe alone, style my hair alone, and change my clothes alone for a month, while Nanakda had to prepare for gatherings and sermons by himself.
I set aside my personal attendants and watched intently to see what they had created that was so important. From the very beginning, a grand background score played, and letters rushed upward in a trapezoidal shape.
“Ooh!”
“Modern editing techniques are impressive. They can even add text?”
“I heard skilled technicians can even create moving pictures. They call it the animating technique.”
Wait, the technology Father created to preserve my foolish work has developed this much? Anyway, after reading all the text that scrolled upward, I saw an explanation stating that this video was produced based on some concept that the great Cult Leader Nanakda had come up with.
That concept was: “If creatures in the Divine Realm that are neither deities nor believers (hereafter called aliens) can run bakeries, why can’t people from the Mortal Realm?”
Wait, really? Now that I think about it, the bread gift set I received from Doctor Marichi wasn’t made by spirits or deities either, but by outsiders who aren’t from the Mortal Realm, right? Using Nanakda’s terminology, aliens?
Live Documentary! Close Coverage of the Foreign Alien Tick-Tock Incident!
After a brilliant title appeared, the first thing captured on screen was a gorilla wearing elegant glasses. Below the gorilla, a subtitle appeared explaining that this was Darwin, one of the Four Great Creator Deities who made the Mortal Realm.
―Why are you in gorilla form? (Reporter Nanakda Grant, played by Nanakda Grant)
Nanakda is truly diligent. He managed to finish dubbing at the broadcasting station while going to the hospital and the Golden Temple. As the reporter Nanakda asked on behalf of everyone’s curiosity, Darwin frowned and treated Nanakda like an illegal resident.
―From my observations, the new humanity generally took this form. But answer the question I asked. How did you get here? (Absolute Deity Darwin, played by Rodie McDowell)
―I used a warp stone.
―Don’t you know that people from the Mortal Realm aren’t supposed to go to the Divine Realm?
―There probably isn’t a rule prohibiting people from the Mortal Realm from going to the Divine Realm.
―….
Right. Nanakda is truly clever. There’s a rule that spirits can’t arbitrarily go to the Divine Realm without paying spiritual power, but there probably isn’t a rule preventing people from the Mortal Realm from entering. Since it was physically impossible to reach it anyway, they probably never bothered to make such a rule.
Darwin, checking the Divine Realm’s legal codes to confirm there truly was no such provision, sighed deeply and permitted Nanakda to move about under his protective supervision.
―I’ll draft the provisions within a short timeframe. Given the circumstances, I’m making an exception just this once.
―Thank you so much!
Thus, having successfully passed the entry examination into the Divine Realm, Nanakda enjoyed chewy ice cream, sampled fried soboro at the Saint Heart Party—a Divine Realm specialty—and… Wait, while I was suffering in the Underworld, why was I eating all these delicious things?!
In any case, under Darwin’s supervision, after Nanakda had tasted all the local delicacies, we finally entered a place called the Divine Dispute Resolution Committee Chamber. The deities there seemed wary of a human entering, but upon seeing Darwin accompany us, they merely looked curious.
―That’s quite unusual. An entire filming crew from the Mortal Realm, of all things.
―I’m a companion to Kisomalos’s descendant, and I’ve come to observe the proceedings.
―Ah, case number Nayuta 500 million 200 million 120, correct?
Wow, this is the first time I’ve seen the unit “Nayuta” used in actual conversation. What on earth have these deities been fighting about for a mere ten thousand years? No, wait—before the Mortal Realm’s first year, there were swarms of deities with both malevolent and divine natures clashing with each other, so the history goes back much further than that? Thinking of those times, the deities must have fought on an absolutely staggering scale.
And Croa and Shirley are bickering and quarreling with Nanakda over the word “companion”—whether only he gets to be called that. I’m grateful I stayed out of that mess.
Because Nanakda spent time obtaining filming permission, by the time we entered the gallery, Kisomalos’s case was already well underway. On Kisomalos’s defense team’s side, there was some sort of recording device displayed, and remarkably, both video and audio were streaming from it simultaneously.
A woman with silver hair and golden eyes, bearing an extraordinarily arrogant demeanor, was bellowing at a clock-headed figure.
―Didn’t I ask whether retroactive application applies under your laws! The point right now is that time has been reversed! In any world, whoever made the laws would have ensured retroactive application doesn’t happen if they had any sense! (Rose Rose, played by Yang Jeong-hwa)
So this is Rose Rose, whom Kirke mentioned.
As the woman fired off her words rapidly, the clock-headed figure on the opposite side sweated profusely and ticked away, while the committee members examined the Divine Realm’s legal codes and agreed that future contracts indeed cannot be applied retroactively. Then the clock-headed figure ticked away even more intensely… Could that actually be speech? Seeing everyone leaning in to listen, those ticking sounds seem to be how it speaks. But why can’t I understand it?
“Father, do you happen to know what those ticking sounds mean?”
“I have no idea.”
“I don’t know either, miss.”
Right, it’s not just me who can’t hear it, is it? Do the deities all perceive that as speech? Or do they understand it through nuance?
―One punch to that dimwitted deity’s face would’ve sufficed! Why do you keep getting greedy! Let’s nullify the divine power consumption and just agree to put that dimwitted fool on the path to becoming a higher-tier deity to set time back on its original rails! Then we’re done recording here! Thanks for listening, everyone! Thank you!
―Now, hold on! I’ve never even seen your face before, and you’re calling me dimwitted…! (Kisomalos, played by Steven Chow)
Wow, there’s Kisomalos experiencing communication cutoff! He still has that dimwitted expression on his face. More importantly, is that a recording? It’s not a live transmission—it’s just a pre-recorded video playing, yet the conversation is actually happening? What exactly does Rose Rose do…?
―Honored committee members, if you agree with this proposal, please raise your hands. (Committee Chair 1, played by Shalom)
So Kisomalos really did get punched in the face and did establish a regression contract with me. Everyone raised their hands unanimously.
The deities called committee chairs—that is, the one with a crescent moon drawn on their forehead from the left, the one with ten rings on their fingers, and the one whose head is a black dog—exchanged opinions, then pressured the notaries to finalize the contract before their eyes.
The grumbling, ticking clock-headed figure… Based on the circumstances, this deity must be Tick-Tock, who made the contract with Kisomalos, right? Tick-Tock nodded as if resigned and submitted his contract to the committee chairs.
―The conditions are certainly written only in ambiguous terms. (Committee Chair 2, played by Gam Chwi-woo-kwan)
―By the authority vested in the Divine Dispute Resolution Committee Chamber, this clause stating ‘when the divine position returns to its original state’ shall be interpreted as ‘when Kisomalos returns as a higher-tier deity.’ (Committee Chair 3, played by Jackal Aureus)
Wow, with public authority involved, things proceed so smoothly. I should arrange for personnel in Kisomalos to make the courts more accessible to the people. Of course, I won’t use Imperial funds—I’ll deduct it from taxes instead.
―Then, those who will bestow divine power upon Kisomalos, please come forward.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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