Beguiling the Enemy’s Patriarch - Chapter 164

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Side Story Part 1, Episode 2
It was sudden, but not wrong. In fact, it was something I should have considered long ago. So I’d decided that when I returned, I would definitely bring it up… but then.
“…”
I retraced the intimate moments that had stretched from last night through this morning. As I tried to recall them properly, my face flushed of its own accord.
‘It was a bit more intense than usual, but…’
Yet one thing was certain: no matter how many nights like yesterday passed, the “good news” that all the people of Belgot yearned for would never come to pass.
Auredhian asked with concern.
“You don’t look well, Yeni. What’s wrong? Is something bothering you?”
“No…”
My heart felt strangely unsettled. It seemed complicated, and yet suffocating too. Was it natural? I’d never seriously thought about it before… In the end, I pulled the blanket over my head again. I needed time to sort through my thoughts.
“I’d like to sleep a bit more…”
Was it really necessary?
* * *
“What do you think?”
There were few people with whom I could share everything in my heart. Especially on a matter like this. And most fortunately, there was someone in Belgot right now to whom I could confide my worries without reservation.
“Well…”
I fidgeted with my teacup and trailed off.
“I’m honestly not sure.”
“You’re not sure.”
“I do think it would be nice to have a child.”
Yes, it was a child. Ever since I returned from the Eastern Region of Belgot, the question of children had continuously occupied my mind. I exhaled softly and continued.
“A child would be truly lovely. I’d be happy.”
“But?”
“But you can’t have a child simply because you think it would be nice to have one, can you?”
It wasn’t that simple, was it? I glanced carefully at Tezebia. Truth be told, I knew little of maternal love. I had never experienced the affection of the one who gave birth to me.
Of course, my current mother was in Lebovni, but biologically, she was not the womb from which I came. I drew out, with great care, the deepest secret I had hidden away.
“I’m… content as things are now.”
It would be nice to have one, but I wouldn’t mind not having one. That was my honest heart. And even without having experienced parental love, I knew that bearing a child with such a mindset would not be right.
I admitted it with a sigh.
“So honestly, I’m not ready at all yet, sister.”
“That’s understandable.”
Tezebia smiled warmly.
“Your lack of readiness is not your fault. Besides, your husband doesn’t seem like the type of man who would press you on that matter.”
“Right. He’s not like that at all.”
I could answer that with absolute certainty. Since our marriage, Auredhian had never once brought up the subject of children. In fact, he seemed to have no intention of having children at all. He was meticulous—almost excessively so—about contraception. Always. Even last night.
“Though that’s not quite it…”
An heir to the Imperial throne. Naturally, there should be one, but if the Emperor himself has no intention of it, who would say anything? If you ask what the problem is then…
“It’s just that what he wants is so clear to see…”
I trailed off and gazed out the window. I could see Brizni, who had visited Belgot with my sister. And beside her, my husband, holding a child’s hand as he strolled through the garden.
“…”
What troubled me was this: Auredhian loved children. He’d grown up without siblings. The first time he’d ever seen a small child was two years ago in Lebovni when he met Brizni.
Yet whenever he saw a child, he couldn’t tear his eyes away… It seemed his true nature was that of a man who couldn’t resist children. So if he had a child of his own, how happy would he be?
“….”
The truth was, I knew. Ninety percent of Auredhian’s careful attention was because of me. More precisely, because of my health. The fact that no one in the Imperial Palace had mentioned the absence of children between the Emperor and Empress for two years was probably because he’d made sure of it.
Tezebia asked carefully.
“What did the Old Physician say?”
“He couldn’t say for certain it would be fine, but if I’m careful, there shouldn’t be any major problems.”
So it was overprotection, really. It had been going on for over two years now. But Auredhian was a man who wouldn’t overlook even a one percent risk to my health.
It had taken a full year of pestering to get permission for the imperial inspection tour. How long would I have to pester him to have a child? But before I could even seek Auredhian’s consent, I myself had no certainty.
I rested my chin on the back of my hand and spoke slowly, murmuring.
“If that’s what he wants, having one wouldn’t be so bad. People around us are quietly hoping for it anyway….”
“Hmm.”
“Edi would make a good father. But I’m not sure if I could be a good mother. I don’t have confidence in myself. That’s why I’m hesitating, I think.”
No one in the Imperial Palace was pressing me about the succession. Even the Bishop of Alcain hadn’t said such things to urge me on. So this was merely my own personal worry.
Could I give a maternal love I don’t even know to a child? Ignorance breeds fear. I sighed and finished speaking.
“…I’ve just been having these kinds of thoughts lately, sister.”
It probably seemed strange to her eyes. I swallowed the last words I wanted to say, pushing them down inside.
It would seem strange to Tezebia’s eyes. To her, I was a precious younger sister who had grown up receiving abundant love from Mother and Father in Lebovni. But it seemed Tezebia had immediately sensed what I was trying to say.
“Hmm. Yeni.”
“Yes?”
Sister lifted her teacup and smiled gently.
“I think children are flowers. Flowers of love.”
“….”
“When love overflows. When you love so much you can’t bear it.”
“….”
“That love becomes a seed and begins to sprout. Into the most beautiful and lovely flower.”
Tezebia’s face was gentle and serene.
“There’s no need to think so hard about it. Being ready to have a child simply means that, doesn’t it? That you love. That you’re ready to love.”
“Ready to love….”
“Why, that’s why children are called the fruit of love, isn’t it.”
It was somewhat vague talk. Beautiful, but also somewhat idealistic. Last year, I had seen countless abandoned children in the slums throughout Belgot. Orphans unloved by their parents, cast out onto the streets. Before coming here, I wasn’t so different from those children. Parents. Family. I had never had such things. In the end, my thoughts twisted again. I grabbed my hair and collapsed onto the table.
“Ah… I never worried about this back then, and now I’m worrying about it….”
“Huh? What worry?”
“…It’s nothing.”
But no matter how much I thought about it, I didn’t seem ready to have a child. I was already perfectly happy, with nothing to add or take away. If I had a child, could I give them infinite love?
“…It’s difficult.”
Some say maternal love is instinct. Is it really? With this heart, could I truly love someone other than Auredhian with all my heart? Really?
Tezebia gently comforted me.
“There will come a moment when you understand what I’m saying, Yeni. And to my eyes, it somehow… doesn’t seem far away.”
“…?”
I tilted my head slightly, puzzled. My sister was smiling meaningfully.
“So don’t rush into it. His Majesty wouldn’t want that either.”
“…I suppose not.”
If he discovered I was wrestling with such thoughts, he would surely jump out of his skin. He might launch into a hundred reasons why children weren’t necessary. Yet strangely, thinking of it that way made my heart feel odd again. In the end, I tugged at my hair once more.
‘Get it together, Yerenika. Are you unhappy with everything?’
“Still, I’m glad you didn’t let a good person slip away.”
“Huh? What?”
It was an unexpected comment. With my hair still disheveled, I looked up at my sister blankly, and Tezebia averted her gaze as if embarrassed.
“I just thought I’d wasted your time.”
“…?”
I paused to consider her words for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“Oh, sister. Why are you bringing that up now?”
She was clearly referring to the disaster that overprotection had caused during our time in Lebovni. I giggled and took her hand, swinging it back and forth playfully.
“What, did Father ask you to tell me something?”
“That too…. But mostly, it’s just been weighing on my heart all this time.”
Tezebia smiled warmly and tidied my hair with her other hand.
“I want you to be happy, Yeni. I’m certain you will be. You always make good choices….”
“….”
“You’ll definitely become far happier than you are now.”
Her words were filled with harmless affection. I smiled broadly and nodded. I was right to talk with my sister.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Novels. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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