A Blank Slate Regression for the Idol That Lost His Original Mindset - Chapter 133

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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A Regression Guide for Idols Who Lost Their Initial Intentions Episode 133

 

 

 

 

 

I know there are no right answers in life.

 

Since so many things have changed from before my regression, I’m well aware that the results might not be the same as before my regression either.

 

I had confidence in my music, so I wasn’t afraid of my song failing. It’s just that I couldn’t easily let go of that damn song.

 

was a song with deep meaning for all the Rev members.

 

The song that saved us from the edge of a cliff and changed our lives.

 

For instance, Seo Yehyeon’s cell phone ringtone remained from then on.

 

And for me, it was a song of mixed feelings that I could neither completely ignore nor love.

 

If I could have done Rev activities with my self-composed songs after that, I might have been able to love . As the song that brought us opportunities.

 

But the agency’s subsequent actions made me develop more hatred than affection for that song.

 

If a song released 2 months ago climbed back up the chart to reach #1, received praise from those picky critics, and earned the composer decent royalties, then objectively the song must have been good.

 

I’d bet Seo Yehyeon’s protein shake that if the song in Seo Yehyeon’s fancam video had been , the song absolutely couldn’t have made a reverse run up the chart.

 

Unable to sleep due to my worries, I carefully opened the door and stepped out of the room to find one kitchen light on.

 

Under the dim lighting, I saw Ryu Jaehee with a haggard face, dark complexion, and tears welling up in his eyes as he opened a water bottle cap.

 

Ryu Jaehee took out a white pill, put it in his mouth, and swallowed it with water.

 

Sensing my presence, Ryu Jaehee turned toward me and called out in a tearful voice.

 

“Eden Hyung…”

 

“What’s wrong? Are you sick somewhere? Hey, if you’re sick you should have told the hyungs before we went to bed. Especially since you use a private room. Should we go to the emergency room now?”

 

When I asked in panic, Ryu Jaehee shook his head and bent over to rub his knees, muttering.

 

“My knees hurt so much… Wow, so this is what it feels like when your joints throb.”

 

I supported Ryu Jaehee as he walked with a limp and we barely made it to the sofa.

 

Ryu Jaehee plopped down and tapped his knees with his fists while explaining to me.

 

“It hurt so much every night that I went to the hospital with Manager Hyung, but fortunately it’s not inflammation or anything like that – they said it’s growing pains.”

 

“Then what did you just take?”

 

“Painkillers.”

 

I felt bad that I hadn’t been able to pay attention to our youngest member lately because we’d been busy with song production and schedules.

 

Even though I knew he had suffered from growing pains around this time before my regression too.

 

Back then, of course, I had plenty of time to care for him. was just a digital single then.

 

Later, when it made a reverse run up the chart, we did release it as part of a repackage album.

 

“Hey, stand in front of me once.”

 

Curious about how much he’d grown, I made Ryu Jaehee stand up and positioned him in front of me.

 

While before he was clearly much shorter, now our eye levels weren’t that different, making me chuckle. No wonder I had to raise my hand higher to ruffle his hair these days.

 

Ryu Jaehee’s rapid growth period had already arrived.

 

I grabbed both his cheeks with one hand, turned his face this way and that, and chuckled.

 

As the baby fat that had made his face round disappeared, the face I was more familiar with was slowly emerging.

 

“You can’t use the hamster emoji anymore.”

 

“I don’t want to, I’m going to keep using it.”

 

Ryu Jaehee replied sulkily.

 

Go ahead, you didn’t listen before my regression either, so why would you listen after my regression. Live your life pushing that giant hamster or giant fishing bobber thing, this time too.

 

“Hyung, did you hurt like this when you were growing taller?”

 

“No, I grew steadily.”

 

Except when I was very young, I didn’t remember suffering from growing pains to the point of going to the hospital like Ryu Jaehee.

 

“At this rate, won’t I catch up to your height, Hyung?”

 

Ryu Jaehee said jokingly and giggled, but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh along.

 

My final height: 181.5cm, Ryu Jaehee’s final height: 185.7cm.

 

Because he really would catch up to me, just like he said.

 

Fortunately, him catching up to me wouldn’t happen until next year.

 

I could maintain my position as 2nd tallest in Rev until this year. By the way, I had finally caught up to Seo Yehyeon’s height.

 

“Yeah, catch up to my height and while you’re at it, catch up to Juni’s height too.”

 

When I raised my hand to ruffle his hair, he smiled proudly and slightly lowered his head as if to make it easier for me to ruffle. I chuckled at the absurdity and thoroughly messed up his hair.

 

When I removed my hand from his head, Ryu Jaehee smoothed down his hair and sat back on the sofa, asking me.

 

“Hyung, you have some worry, don’t you?”

 

When I just stared without answering, Ryu Jaehee scratched his cheek and said bluntly.

 

“When you have worries, you can’t sleep at night and come out to the living room for fresh air.”

 

Having come out for fresh air again today, I had nothing to say and just nodded.

 

“You did that during your slump too, and when you were having a cold war with Hajun Hyung.”

 

“Geez, you know my habits better than the person who shares a room with me.”

 

Seo Yehyeon, who won the roommate lottery twice in a row, doesn’t even know I have worries, let alone that I come out at night, because he’s sleeping so soundly.

 

“Yehyeon Hyung sleeps really deeply once he falls asleep.”

 

Even though I hadn’t said anything particular about Seo Yehyeon, Ryu Jaehee even defended him and continued with an awkward smile.

 

“If it’s your personal problem, you don’t really like people interfering in your private matters, and since there’s nothing I can do to solve it for you, I can’t really say anything…”

 

Ryu Jaehee, who was still in pain despite taking painkillers, repeatedly tapped his knees with his fists and rubbed them with his hands, paused for a moment, then looked straight at me.

 

“If the worry you’re having now is related to Rev, our team’s music or direction, you can just tell me, or if not me then other members, or even gather all the members and open up about it.”

 

My current worry was indeed Rev’s business. However, it was also mixed with my personal matters.

 

Something I absolutely couldn’t tell Ryu Jaehee, the members, or even Gyeon Hajun.

 

When I let out a short sigh, Ryu Jaehee carefully added.

 

“You try to go it alone too much, Hyung. We can at least share worries together.”

 

It was a touching sentiment, but not something that resonated with my current situation.

 

Well, of course, because what would I become if I said ‘I fucking ran away without renewing my contract, then regressed because I lost my initial intentions, and now I’m agonizing between the song that made us hit it big before my regression and my own song.’

 

I’d probably become otaku Kim Dobin’s soulmate.

 

And that was a title I didn’t particularly want to have.

 

“Forget it, man.”

 

Now I was the only one who had memories and meaning attached to the song , so it was a problem I had to choose myself.

 

“And no matter what worries I have, I won’t tell you about them.”

 

“Why, am I that untrustworthy?”

 

“This brat knows that’s not it but deliberately speaks unpleasantly.”

 

I grabbed Ryu Jaehee’s smirking lips and shook them gently.

 

“Passing worries onto a young kid isn’t what an elder should do. So hurry up and go in to sleep. If you don’t sleep at night, you won’t grow as tall as you could.”

 

When I pushed his back, Ryu Jaehee pretended to be defeated and let himself be pushed.

 

“Yaaawn, good night, Hyung.”

 

I watched him yawn and go into his room, then lightly closed my eyes and leaned my head against the sofa.

 

Still, I don’t know yet. Which choice would be one without regrets.

 

Whatever I choose, it seems like regrets will remain.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

In February, there was Kim Dobin’s graduation ceremony.

 

We also had to attend Kim Dobin’s graduation ceremony, so we were busy choosing clothes from the morning. The only one who wasn’t busy was Kim Dobin, who just had to wear his school uniform.

 

“Wow, I can’t believe it. I’m the only minor left in the team…”

 

Ryu Jaehee muttered dejectedly while watching Kim Dobin, who had an excited face as he put on his school uniform for the last time.

 

“Yeah, hurry up and age, youngest. I can’t drink alcohol because of you.”

 

Kim Dobin grumbled while grabbing and shaking Ryu Jaehee’s shoulders. We had imposed a drinking ban on Kim Dobin, who had become an adult, because Ryu Jaehee felt left out being the only one who couldn’t drink.

 

Of course, though we were the same adults, me, Gyeon Hajun, and Seo Yehyeon – the so-called hyung line – could drink. Only the youngest line couldn’t.

 

Drinking was strictly prohibited until we knew their alcohol tolerance and drinking habits.

 

My warning that if they were caught secretly buying alcohol or having drinking sessions, they should know that day wouldn’t be fun, seemed to work, as Kim Dobin hadn’t touched alcohol for two months since turning twenty.

 

Of course, having many schedules and not being able to easily have drinking sessions with his newly adult friends also played a part.

 

That was because Kim Dobin’s alcohol tolerance was half a bottle of soju, and his drinking habit was to vomit and then pass out and sleep right there.

 

It wasn’t for nothing that I desperately tried to stop Kim Dobin from drinking around town.

 

It was fortunate that he displayed that drinking capacity and drinking habits at bars while we were still in our failed idol state before making it to the second tier, but if Reve from before my regression had risen to fame just one year earlier, it would have made the news.

 

The mind-numbing emotions from that time still make me dizzy just thinking about it. Hajun and I cursed up a storm while supporting the passed-out Kim Dobin from the bar and throwing him into the car. On top of that, cleaning up was our job too.

 

Kim Dobin from back then must have known his sins because he immediately bowed his head as soon as he woke up.

 

“I don’t have like a 10-bottle soju tolerance, do I?”

 

I pressed down firmly on Kim Dobin’s head and replied to his voice full of anticipation.

 

“Stop talking nonsense and hurry up and finish getting ready, Doby. From what I’ve seen, your tolerance is half a bottle of soju.”

 

“Come on, is that even human?”

 

I looked at this guy who was denying his own humanity with pitying eyes, then handed my coat to Ryu Jaehee.

 

“Here, Youngest Member. Reporters will be coming too, so don’t go wearing that shrunken padding.”

 

Ryu Jaehee received the coat with very bright, sparkling eyes. Before, it wouldn’t have even been close, but now seeing my clothes roughly fit Jaehee’s body made me feel troubled again.

 

Is this what it feels like for parents watching their child grow up?

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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