The Return of Lilietta - Chapter 182

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 182

Lillieta didn’t want to see the end of it, so she looked away. Right beside her, she could see another scene wavering beyond the mist.

She moved her steps there as if fleeing.

The same white space. A floating star. One-eyed Gid Pascal looking up at it.

But this time his attire was different. His age was different too. A 10-year-old boy in rags, sitting collapsed with dirt-stained hands.

He looked up at the star and whispered desperately.

“Can I check the collateral again?”

She watched the boy groping at empty air blankly, then turned her head. She passed by behind him. The next scene.

The gray uniform of the Command Center she had seen earlier. He looked about sixteen or seventeen.

He looked up at the star and spoke stiffly.

“I will confirm what was put up as collateral.”

She passed behind him. Moving to the side. The mist cleared and the next scene appeared.

He appeared dressed in a tuxedo like a city elite. About twenty years old. His face was flushed as if drunk.

“Show me…”

He muttered in slurred pronunciation. Something floating in the air, something invisible to her eyes, he looked up at it as if intoxicated by drugs.

Lillieta couldn’t watch that scene to the end and moved her steps.

No matter how much she walked sideways, it didn’t end.

He of all ages, all attire, all states looked up at the air in the gap where time had stopped.

She continued walking. Gid in various forms appearing endlessly threw a word each toward the star.

Show me.

I want to see.

I will confirm.

Show me the collateral.

I have no intention of giving up.

Being able to see like this keeps me from going crazy. Otherwise I would have lost it long ago.

She’s nowhere to be found. Everyone says such a person doesn’t exist.

It makes me feel like I’m the one who’s gone mad.

But Rita isn’t some delusion of mine.

How much time has passed? Show me what I put up as collateral.

Show me the times I spent with her.

If I don’t see it like this, I feel like I’ll forget.

I don’t want to forget.

Thanks to this, I can be certain that I’m not crazy or caught in delusion.

I’m grateful for this point.

I will confirm the collateral.

Maybe I’m living for this moment.

I only feel alive right now.

To think I can only do this right before dying. Is this a kind of life flashing before my eyes? There’s no way to confirm it normally?

There isn’t.

This time I died quickly to see this.

There’s no other way to see it except here.

Ah… I was truly happy back then.

I didn’t even know I was happy.

I didn’t even know I liked her. If I had known…

I really wanted to make that for her. I was curious what expression she’d make. That was the only time she showed interest in the taste of food.

…I could have comforted her better. Looking back now, I can see the shortcomings.

Rita looked tired, but I didn’t notice then. I should have noticed.

How could you say such words at this moment.

What kind of world did you dream of.

What were you thinking about at this time?

I should have asked.

I should have asked in more detail.

I should have said I liked you.

Every time our eyes met, I should have said I liked you.

Would something have changed then?

Could I have known you better?

If I had known you better, could I have found you right away instead of wandering around clinging to the wrong person?

I can’t find you.

Where are you?

I want to talk together.

I want to hear your thoughts.

I don’t know what to do, Rita.

I need your opinion.

Could you have figured something out?

Wouldn’t you have been better?

I want to see you.

I miss you.

I want to see you.

I was such a decent person when I was with you.

Much better than now.

The times I spent with you ended up making me.

Since you disappeared, everything is gradually becoming stranger.

I feel like I’m becoming a fool.

I keep doing crazy things.

Do you know what I did this time?

No, I hope you don’t know.

I want to see you.

I want to see you.

I will confirm the times put up as collateral.

Once more.

More.

More.

More.

No, I’m not saying I’ll give up. Just wait.

I’m tired, so I want to rest here for a bit.

Even dying is bothersome.

I want to see more.

How long can I stay stopped? What’s the price?

Will I become corrupted?

I’ve been broken for a long time anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

Show me.

I will see.

…

Ah, now I understand.

This isn’t mercy.

I also understand why the Pascals called you a demon.

This is hope… and bait.

Making me unable to forget, making me unable to give up, right?

…

Is my struggling like this useful to you?

Do you consume the timelines that disappear each time I kill myself to start over?

Do the times I repeat taste good?

You must have caused that disaster by feeding on the times Pascal created and discarded, right?

You weren’t this strong at first, were you? Did Pascal raise you to this extent?

Does the disaster you emit get worse each time you consume the repeating times?

Yes, the more I repeat, the stronger you become. That was the principle.

I’m becoming an accomplice to the world’s destruction.

So are you going to give up?

Gid Pascal gropes through empty air. He caresses something invisible. He grits his teeth.

“Again.”

The white space is erased, and his corpse becomes visible.

‘…You said you found a way to turn back time without dying. That’s why you didn’t die every time.’

A lie.

Lillieta, who had stopped walking, stared blankly down at his dead body before raising her head.

Various scenes ripple both in front and behind. There’s no end.

How many times did you die?

You even deliberately died to see the collateral… our shared memories?

Enough for memories to accumulate this countless times?

All of this is your memories?

This is what happened because I died back then?

This isn’t what I wanted.

I just wanted everyone to survive instead of me.

That, that wasn’t such a bad thing. Even if it wasn’t the best choice, it wasn’t wrong.

But what is this?

Why did it turn out like this?

The disaster gets stronger each time you repeat?

You should have stopped when you knew that.

Everything is falling apart in the end. Even yourself.

Why did you do such things?

Because of me?

Is it because of me?

All of this happened because you liked me?

I… even if you had died, I don’t think I could have gone this far.

I would have cried a lot, been unbearably sad, but I think I would have eventually accepted it and lived on.

Why did you go this far?

What have you become in the end?

Did I make you like this?

Just what do I mean to you?

Love?

Is this your love?

Something this heavy and twisted?

She closed her eyes.

It’s hard to accept.

She feels like she’s going insane.

Swaying, about to collapse, she put strength into her legs. With her hands on her knees and head bowed, she exhaled the breath that had stopped at some point.

“Heuuu…”

After letting out a moan similar to a wail, Lillieta bit her lips and raised her head again.

Countless flickering scenes. No, memories.

They’re still there.

Still.

It’s vast.

Gid, what have you really become?

Could that emotion really turn a person into something like this?

What were you carrying inside you?

How could you smile so calmly?

How should I treat you now?

‘I don’t know… but one thing is certain.’

I can’t stop here.

If this happened because of her, if it’s his matter.

She must see it without turning away. She needs to know.

‘This could all be Pascal’s… trap. Right, it might not be real…’

She recalled the magic circle that was inside the Red Queen’s mouth.

Why did he want to show her this?

For what purpose?

The rose scent is thick.

She blinked in her dizzy state. She put strength into her legs.

She turned and walked backward. Going back through the memories.

Countless scenes flow by.

The Ash-covered Era repeats. Gid searches for her. Or looks for ways to change the regression point.

He fails. He fails. He fails.

Then suddenly, she felt something fleeing through the mist. Some memory was running away from her. As if it desperately wanted to hide.

She changed direction and chased that scene. Walking past countless Gid Pascals.

The more she walked, the further it got. She started running instead.

Only then did she catch up.

The mist cleared, revealing the memory that was trying to hide.

She sees Gid Pascal, who appears to be around twenty-two or twenty-three. The gray uniform of the Command. Stars attached to his shoulder boards.

Around him lying on a bed in what looks like dormitory quarters are many empty bottles. Torn medicine packets are also scattered about. In the middle of it all, he speaks like a moan.

“I can’t sleep…”

“Shall I put you to sleep?”

A gentle voice responded. Gid didn’t turn to look that way. Lillieta looked there.

A half-naked woman sat on the edge of the bed where he was lying, then crawled up over his body.

“I heard rumors that you have trouble sleeping, Brigadier General.”

“…”

“I also heard that you keep looking for some woman. Someone you knew in childhood, they said.”

Gid didn’t answer. But he didn’t push the woman away either.

With an eyepatch over one eye, he looked up blankly at the woman straddling his stomach with his one bleary eye.

She had red hair. Similar to Rita Pascal’s reddish-brown.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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