The Return of Lilietta - Chapter 157
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 157
Rita.
If you look at me with eyes that find me terrible, I might not be able to endure it anymore.
Actually, even now, every single day is precarious. It’s only gotten somewhat better because you’re here.
Besides, even if kind you didn’t despise me and accepted everything.
Then, you might think that what I did was your fault, because I started all these things to save you.
That would be just like you. You’re kind and have a strong sense of responsibility.
But that’s not true.
This is a different matter from you dying like that before my eyes.
That was your fault, but what happened after is my fault.
I’m the one who became strange, it’s my problem. I don’t want you to suffer because of me too. The person who committed these acts should bear the burden. Why should you have to…
If you were to blame yourself by any chance, if you were to feel sorry that I became like this because of you, I don’t think I could bear that either.
I’m sorry, either way is absolutely impossible.
Honestly, I want to pretend none of it ever happened. As something that exists only within me, only in my memories.
I want to bury those things forever as if they never occurred.
So this is as far as it goes.
“But… after killing Pascal, while investigating following his traces, the star I had put in my right eye gradually became strange and severely contaminated. My body couldn’t handle it and eventually died. Then the exact same thing that happened to Pascal occurred.”
“…You returned to the reference point?”
“Right, to just after you died. The ‘star’ was back in Oli’s glass bottle too, but I could feel it. That the light of that star was still embedded beneath my eyepatch.”
“…”
“When the others weren’t around, I took off my eyepatch and looked in the mirror, and my artificial eye had changed and was glowing. It was the same color as a star, like Pascal’s. Of course, he had both eyes like that, but… anyway.”
“…”
“After that, it probably wasn’t much different from what you heard from Oli. Oh, don’t be too shocked—I didn’t die every time I turned back time. After repeating it, I got the hang of it and realized I could return to the reference point just by wishing strongly, without necessarily having to die.”
“…”
“But I could never figure out how to change the return point. I couldn’t… bring you back to life.”
Gid let out a deep sigh and continued speaking.
“The more I repeated time, the more skilled I became at fighting Pascal, until later I could sneak out while everyone was distracted and handle him alone. From then on, instead of killing Pascal, I captured and tortured him…”
He hesitated and looked at Rita’s complexion before rubbing his face wearily.
“Well… when dealing with that guy, personal emotions inevitably got involved. The grudge runs deep, you know.”
Noticing that Gideon was concerned about her reaction, Lillieta quickly shook her head and answered.
“I understand completely. I don’t care one bit what kind of torture you did to that bastard, so please continue.”
She truly didn’t care at all.
What did it matter if Gid tortured Pascal or skinned him alive? Considering what he did, he got off easy.
Gid smiled faintly at her and opened his mouth again.
“…Anyway, I tried to interrogate Pascal more properly that way, but his eyes returned to black—that must have been their original color—and as soon as he realized I had turned back time, he would immediately commit suicide every time, making it hard to learn anything more.”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“But it was also impossible to prevent him from discovering that I was regressing. After I became the owner of the star, Pascal seemed completely unable to perceive the regressions, yet perhaps because he had turned back time so much himself, he always noticed quickly.”
“…”
“I tried to deceive him by deliberately letting him nearly kill me, and even actually dying, but he still noticed and stopped revealing clues like before—”
“Wait, you let Pascal nearly kill you? On purpose? You even actually died?”
Rita was shocked.
“How is that different from self-harm! How many times did you do such things?”
“Well…”
Gid suddenly covered his mouth with his hand. Then he spoke in a trembling voice.
“What should I do? I’m feeling so good right now because you’re worrying about such things.”
“What? You’re feeling good in this situation? Are you in your right mind?”
“But I can’t help feeling good about it.”
He curved his eyes beautifully. It was an endearing eye-smile that didn’t match the situation.
“I never thought about this… Thank you for worrying instead of just cursing me for acting crazy, Rita. I’m incredibly happy.”
“…No, I was going to curse too. I just asked if you were in your right mind.”
“Actually, I’d be happy even if you just cursed at me.”
“You really…”
Rita stared at him with her mouth agape in disbelief. Gid was smiling as if truly happy. She watched that sight blankly, then ground her teeth.
“Gid, so you did all that crap and then lectured me about doing your best and whatnot?”
“The situation was different. The me back then would just regress even if I died, and since no one knew I did such things, no one worried.”
“I’m worrying right now!”
She raised her voice without realizing it. Then Gid’s eyes sparkled like heated pure gold.
“Ah, what should I do? I’m so happy.”
“Are you really crazy?”
“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t be like this, but I guess I really have gone a bit crazy. I’m so happy I could die.”
“…”
Rita pressed her temples and closed her mouth.
This was wrong. No matter what she said, he would probably just be happy. Did Gid always have this side to him?
‘No, let me try to use this instead. If he’s this happy, won’t he tell me more of what he was trying to hide?’
She took a deep breath and asked in a calmed voice.
“…So, you couldn’t extract any more information from Pascal, and after that?”
“Well, since I failed to change the reference point, the only remaining method was to succeed in the ‘return’ that Pascal had been researching. So I kept repeating until I succeeded. You heard about this roughly from Oli, right? That’s all.”
“That’s not all, is it? I’ll worry about you plenty, so spill everything.”
“I told you everything though?”
“You’re taking medicine made from poisonous herbs from Senior Is. Because you can’t sleep.”
“…It wouldn’t be Oli. Did Ethan tell you even that? How embarrassing…”
Gid drooped his eyebrows and smiled bitterly. Rita stared straight at him and pressed.
“Do you still take that medicine?”
“No, I don’t. Not since I met you again.”
“Really?”
“You put me to sleep. I’ve been sleeping well since then.”
“There must be a reason you couldn’t sleep badly enough to need such medicine?”
“Are you really asking because you don’t know, Rita?”
Gid suddenly leaned his head toward her. At a distance where their noses might brush, he narrowed his eyes and whispered.
“I went through all that trouble to return, but you weren’t there. How could I sleep?”
“…”
“I can only sleep properly when you’re here. You know that, don’t you?”
Asking that, Gideon lowered his head. His face, which had been close enough to brush against hers, moved aside and buried itself in her shoulder.
“Rita, I still have nightmares.”
He murmured in a hoarse voice.
“Every time I wake up, I hold back the urge to go find you and check. Whether you’re breathing, whether your body is intact, whether you’ve disappeared somehow.”
“…Gid.”
“I want to hold you right now. I want to hear your heartbeat. Would that be okay?”
The voice flowing right next to her ear was faint and pitiful. The breath touching her shoulder trembled hotly.
There must be something more.
He’s definitely hiding something.
She couldn’t bring herself to press further. Even if this situation was what he intended.
Rita raised her arms and wrapped them around him.
“Of course that’s okay.”
Then, with a force several times stronger than how she had pulled him into her embrace, he held her tight.
“Rita.”
A name that sounded almost desperate.
She was completely buried in his body. Their heartbeats could be heard through their touching bodies. By her ear, he exhaled as if he had just escaped from deep water.
That breathing sounded similar to crying, so Lillieta soothingly stroked his back.
She had no choice. She had to stop her offensive and retreat for a moment.
Just as Gid was weak to her, she was weak to him. As it had been for a long time.
Because they had known each other for too long.
More honestly, because she liked him.
In this moment, she wanted to give him a gift that would comfort or reassure him.
But since she hadn’t prepared something like cream puffs, she decided to bring up a story that would make him happy instead.
“Gid.”
“Yeah.”
“What you asked me before.”
She rested her forehead against his shoulder in front of her as she finished her words.
“I’ll accept being your Coronator.”
“…!”
His body, touching hers, flinched. It was a violent tremor as if he had barely restrained himself from jumping up from his spot.
Soon after, Gideon lifted his head, grasped both her shoulders, and looked into her face.
With a clean and bright face that showed no trace of tears. With eyes blazing as brightly as the afternoon Sun.
“You’ll do it? That role, you? Really?”
“….”
Rita let out a hollow laugh.
She had shared this news hoping he would be happy, but she hadn’t expected his attitude to change this immediately. She wanted to question what those breathing sounds that seemed like crying just moments ago were about.
But since seeing him with a sweet face like he had a mouthful of cream puffs was much better than seeing him with a shadowed expression, she obediently nodded her head.
“Yes, I’ll do it for you.”
“Thank you, Rita!”
Gid smiled as if sunlight was spreading and pulled her into his arms again. She could feel his overflowing heartbeat. His trembling voice reached her ear.
“I’m really so happy. So happy that I wonder if it’s okay to be this happy. Yes, I… this is fine. Like this, everything will be okay.”
It will be okay.
Those words that flowed out with his laughter somehow sounded like a vow.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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