The Return of Lilietta - Chapter 113

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 113

At a distance where their eyelashes could almost touch, he whispered desperately.

“Rita, you can always see the optimal solution clearly. I know it’s difficult to deliberately choose the roundabout path even so. I know, but… you also know now how much we suffered because of your choices, right?”

Lillieta recalled once again her colleagues’ reactions after their reunion. She also remembered how her family members had fallen apart after she went missing.

She wishes for her family and colleagues to always be safe and happy. And she knows they harbor similar feelings toward her.

However, she didn’t really know how much weight she herself held within them, within their happiness.

Anyone would be the same.

Even if you can vaguely guess, it’s usually difficult to know clearly. How large a place you occupy in another person’s life.

Just as you don’t really know how large a place another person occupies within you until that person disappears.

Lillieta was the same. In fact, she was even worse at gauging such things than ordinary people.

However, the special experience of ‘return’ changed everything.

Through that experience, Lillieta was able to directly witness how large her absence had been for the people around her.

It was bigger than expected. Far too big.

She hadn’t known it would be this much.

It was both grateful and sad, warm yet burdensome.

Because she didn’t know how to handle such a magnitude of emotion. Because she had no idea what more to do besides continuously apologizing and trying to restore things to how they were before.

Even though leaving her family wasn’t her choice, leaving her colleagues had been her choice, making the returning emotions feel even heavier.

Because if a similar situation arose, she felt she would have no choice but to do the same thing again.

Lillieta had clear standards and beliefs within her, and sacrificing her own life to save her colleagues had been an effective and right choice.

Therefore, she doesn’t regret that choice at all.

But knowing all too well how much the consequences of that choice had hurt her precious people made everything too complicated.

So… to the weight in her heart that had only felt overwhelming. To the emotions she didn’t know how to handle except by apologizing. To that something that had been building up inside her ever since her return.

Gideon had just provided a new direction.

Not optimal, but best.

The best direction, even if slightly inefficient.

Why it had to be that way was also taught to her through his trembling eyes and lips.

“No matter how good the results are… if you’re staggering around covered in blood, it’s meaningless. I really feel like I’m going to lose my mind. So please…”

Lillieta looked back once more at her own absence that she had witnessed through her return.

And she realized.

If her existence held such weight in the lives of those around her, then her getting hurt meant inflicting wounds on them proportional to her significance to them.

She could factor in any amount of pain if it were hers alone, but she couldn’t calculate other people’s pain for them.

But if her pain was transmitted to those around her. If those who loved her would hurt even more.

If her death meant killing part of those she loved as well.

‘…Ah. I see.’

Now she felt she truly understood what ‘worrying’ meant. Finally, she could understand Gid’s words that ‘you don’t know.’

She really hadn’t known.

‘…So I need to find not the most appropriate method, but the best method.’

Not optimal, but best.

It was a clear answer. She felt strangely relieved.

It would be difficult to change ingrained habits all at once, but since she understood now, things would gradually improve.

Lillieta exhaled deeply as if expelling something that had been completely blocked, then slowly nodded her head.

“I understand, Gid. What it means to choose the best.”

“…”

“I also understand why I have to do that. So, um…”

Gid, who had been quietly observing her face as she struggled to explain what she had just realized, suddenly smiled as if melting and gently embraced her.

“Yes, Rita… thank you.”

You understood without me having to say more.

She could feel his sigh of relief against her neck, so Rita muttered awkwardly.

“This doesn’t seem like something to be thankful for. I was the problem.”

“Rita, let me say again that I’m not blaming you or saying your judgment was wrong. I just mean there are sometimes things that should take priority over the correct answer, so please consider them, and I’m only hoping you’ll be a little more considerate of the feelings of those around you…”

Gid took a deep breath while resting his chin on her shoulder. His chest, pressed against her, swelled greatly and his heartbeat was transmitted to her.

“…So of course I should be grateful. You’re willing to change your methods and standards solely for our sake.”

Lillieta smiled without realizing it.

How could I not be swayed when you persuade me with such understanding and respect? How could I not change when you provide new answers to my complicated feelings?

Gid, I like you because you’re this kind of person. Others must follow you for this reason too, our Squad Leader. In the history that hasn’t come yet, you became the hope and hero of countless people probably because you’re this kind of person.

She embraced him back and spoke in a voice tinged with laughter.

“It’s nothing new, but Gid, you’re really good at handling people.”

“That’s a compliment, right?”

“Yes, a compliment.”

“Then that’s enough.”

He let out a low laugh while holding her.

Then suddenly opened his mouth in a cool tone.

“Now then, shall we talk about your ridiculous misconception?”

“Huh? What misconception?”

“Who, with whom, is doing what?”

“Ah.”

Rita, belatedly recalling that issue, reflexively pushed him away.

“Right, you need to stop clinging so familiarly like this now. It causes misunderstandings.”

“Misunderstandings?”

Gid’s expression became strange.

He obediently let himself be pushed back but firmly prevented her from sitting down on the dirt ground. Keeping her seated on his thigh, he asked.

“What exactly are they misunderstanding?”

“Obviously about you and me.”

“What about us? It’s exactly the same as before. There’s only us here anyway. There’s no one to misunderstand, so what’s the problem?”

“What kind of sophistry is that? How could there not be a problem?”

Rita retorted dismissively and glared at him.

“Gid, are you at least aware that we’re a man and woman?”

“What?”

“No matter how much we’ve been together since childhood, we’re both adults now. It can’t be the same as before. It’s the same even if no one’s watching. Have some awareness.”

“…Hah.”

Gid’s expression, which had been twisting his lips, crumbled. He looked down at her with a dumbfounded face for a while, then slowly rubbed his face with his hands.

“Plans and all that aside, this is…”

“Plans?”

“Rita.”

He suddenly reached out his hand.

Toward the upper thigh revealed through the torn and blood-soaked dress, toward the bruise mark created when he had pressed with his hand instead of a tourniquet.

He lightly placed his hand on the red mark left like a stain on her white skin. And his thumb moved gently, rubbing the bruise he had made.

It didn’t hurt, but the strange feeling made Rita flinch involuntarily. Gid, who had paused to observe her reaction, asked quietly.

“Are you the one who should have awareness?”

“Huh…?”

“If you have such a thing as awareness.”

The touch that had been caressing the bruise slowly moved outside that mark.

As she watched the scene in bewilderment, his thick, long fingers slowly crawled up her smooth, uninjured thigh.

Lillieta still didn’t stop him.

Perfect trust that he must have some reason. That trust was both welcome and infuriating, so Gideon, gripping her defenseless skin, spat out in a roughened voice.

“…You wouldn’t just let me do something like this.”

“…!”

At those words, Rita belatedly realized. This contact wasn’t treatment, nor comfort, nor anything like a mistake.

Then what was this?

When she reflexively drew her legs back, Gid immediately withdrew his hand. Then he picked up his cloak that he had carelessly thrown aside earlier and covered it over her torn dress.

As he did so, he turned his head away and spoke in a twisted tone.

“Please, you be the one to gain some awareness, Lillieta. I’m already overflowing with it, and that’s the problem.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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