The Failed Swordmaster - Chapter 64

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 64 28. A Guest Has Arrived (1)

“…What is this?”

“…”

Lumian asked the question.

However, Morghen stood there with a hardened expression, not saying a word.

Lumian, who had been staring at him intently, soon shook his head and looked back into the ornate box.

Two strangely shaped objects caught his eye.

‘One is… a stick?’

It wasn’t an ordinary stick.

The base of the stick was flat so it could be stood upright on the ground. If there were adhesive components, it seemed like it could be attached vertically to a wall.

The end of the stick, which curved gently like a banana, was somehow blunt, and the more he looked at it, the more disgusted he felt.

He couldn’t understand why.

Feeling uncomfortable, Lumian observed the object next to it.

‘What is… this?’

Lumian made a curious expression.

It was an object of a shape he had never seen before in his life.

A cylinder that could be held with both hands or one hand. There were slight curves in the middle section, which seemed to be made that way for comfortable gripping.

The inside of the cylinder was filled with something soft yet sticky, with a hole of subtle size in the center.

Curious about the interior, Lumian was about to put his hand inside when he hesitated.

He thought he might get into trouble if he touched an unknown object.

He looked at Morghen. His sworn brother finally seemed to have recovered from the shock, looking at the objects with a reluctant expression.

“Do you know what this is? You know, right?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Is it something good? No, that aside, what are these things used for? I have absolutely no idea of their purpose.”

“…”

“If they put so many locks on it, it must be something important… but I have no clue what it’s used for.”

“The names of these things are…”

Morghen reluctantly opened his mouth.

His expression showed he didn’t want to explain, that he couldn’t accept the fact that these were his final spoils of war.

Lumian looked at his sworn brother with an even more puzzled face, and eventually the names of the objects flowed from his lips.

“The cylindrical object is called the Incubus’s Pleasure, and that… banana-like object is called the Succubus’s Pleasure.”

“Really? So they’re magical tools used for seducing people…”

“No. They’re just tools used for comforting oneself.”

“…”

“The Incubus’s Pleasure is a tool exclusively for men, and the Succubus’s Pleasure is exclusively for women. By the way, the method of use is…”

“No, it’s fine. You don’t need to explain that far.”

Lumian said with a serious expression.

But Morghen didn’t listen to his older brother’s words.

He continued his explanation in a dazed state.

“There are rumors that some perverts tried these tools and couldn’t forget the taste, searching for them everywhere, and there are also stories that merchants and mages took note of this and created similar tools. But whether there’s some mysterious power, they couldn’t make anything as excellent as these. By the way, these could also fetch quite a price if sold at the black market or underground auctions, but…”

Morghen, who had cut off his words, poked the Incubus’s Pleasure.

His face looked like he was touching something he didn’t want to touch.

“These things, they’re items that those guys in the hideout used extensively…”

“…”

“I don’t want to sell such things… I should burn these.”

Morghen closed the box with a thud and made a gloomy expression.

He had no choice but to feel that way.

His older brother had been considerate enough to let him get three boxes of rewards, but the one he had most anticipated turned out to be a dud.

It would have been better to get just one aphrodisiac instead.

But a moment later, words of unbelievable content reached his ears.

“The aphrodisiac, do you want to use it?”

“What? Really?”

Morghen’s head whipped around.

It was with such force that his neck bones might have broken. Lumian, who had stepped back, answered.

“Yeah. Well, I’m still young, and it works well, and since I became a Sword Master at a young age, it must have become even more excellent…”

“Of course, of course! That’s right! It’s true that the younger you become a Sword Master, the better your physical abilities, so Older Brother doesn’t need such aphrodisiacs!”

‘He’s also a Sword Master, yet he’s making such a fuss.’

Lumian made an expression of incomprehension.

If it were a typical man in his late forties, that reaction would be appropriate, but seeing someone who was a Sword Master acting like this was utterly bewildering.

“Alright, I said I’d give it to you without you having to flatter me. But in exchange.”

“In exchange?”

“Let’s trade it for the Succubus’s beauty cream.”

“Huh? Older Brother, are you going to apply this? There’s no real need to go that far…”

Morghen trailed off.

In his view, the current Lumian was already excellent enough.

What used to be just a frail-looking face had now, after consuming the Incubus’s demonic stone, transformed into a handsome man with deadly charm hidden within his purity.

Of course, using the beauty cream would make him even more handsome, but it didn’t seem worth trading for the aphrodisiac.

“I’m not going to use it myself.”

“Ah, is that so? Are you thinking of giving it to a future girlfriend?”

“Don’t pry into everything, just decide whether you’ll trade or not…”

“Of course I’ll trade. Here it is.”

Morghen quickly handed over the Succubus’s beauty cream. And with lightning speed, he took the Incubus’s aphrodisiac.

Hugging the spatial backpack containing the aphrodisiac to his chest, he looked extremely happy.

He seemed even more moved than when he first encountered his revived self.

“Stop that and let’s go.”

“Yes! Older Brother! I’ll take care of the purification ritual myself!”

“Do that.”

As soon as he heard the answer, Morghen moved.

His appearance of sprinkling holy water throughout the dungeon was like a soldier with perfect discipline. Seeing this, Lumian burst into chuckles.

After about an hour passed, the purification ritual was completed.

The cave that had been full of demonic energy regained its original appearance, and the surrounding area that had looked gloomy came back to life.

“The atmosphere has definitely changed.”

“Yes. Since it’s not an ancient dungeon or anything like that… it will probably return to its original state within a day. No, wait. I can already feel the vegetation starting to stretch… Huh?”

Morghen’s eyes suddenly lit up.

Looking somewhere with hawk-like eyes, he moved his body quickly. Lumian, who made an expression wondering what this guy was up to again, also followed behind him.

Soon, Morghen’s excited voice could be heard.

“It’s a turtle-head mushroom!”

“What’s that again… Is that also an aphrodisiac?”

“Of course! Speaking of this mushroom…”

Looking at his sworn brother who was once again launching into a lengthy explanation, Lumian shook his head.

This guy had treated him like a weirdo for wanting to see succubi, but now he was running around like a dog in heat looking for this and that.

Of course, he wasn’t completely uninterested.

Just as one becomes curious about things they weren’t interested in when someone keeps talking about them, Lumian began to develop curiosity about the unknown world of ‘virility.’

As the two stood on the mountainside talking for a while, suddenly an extraordinary creature flew down from the sky.

Flap flap flutter-

Glossy and beautiful feathers that seemed made from plucked golden hair of a beauty.

A parrot with a divine aura completely different from the common ones landed before their eyes.

And it quickly began eating the turtle-head mushroom.

Crunch crunch-

Munch munch-

Chomp chomp chomp-

It was as swift as a pig that had starved for three days devouring its feed.

The two could only watch with dumbfounded faces as the creature feasted.

* * *

“What’s with this guy.”

-What’s with this guy!

“What, it’s copying what I say.”

-What, it’s copying what I say!

“Idiot, moron.”

-Idiot! Moron!

“Sex.”

-Sex! Sex! Sex!

The Golden Parrot didn’t stop.

It continued shouting “sex” while waddling around the two of them.

It wasn’t just walking around either. It wiggled its wings alternately, showing behavior like a person dancing.

That sight seemed extraordinary.

The problem was how frisky it was.

“What is this thing doing?”

“…Maybe it’s a spirit?”

“A spirit?”

“Yes. A spirit of this mountain… It seems like it was somewhere else because of the magic energy and came back… I don’t know why it’s acting like this though.”

“I’ve never heard of spirits among parrots…”

-Sex, sex!

“It seems to really like the word ‘sex’.”

“No, this is too much. It’s so noisy. Hey, stop it!”

-Hey, stop it!

“I am an idiot.”

-…

“This guy is incredibly smart? It’s selective about what it repeats.”

It was very fascinating. Lumian quickly reached out to try to catch the Golden Parrot.

But surprisingly, the creature dodged his hand.

The thing that jumped up landed on Lumian’s head and shouted loudly.

-Sex!

“It really must be a spirit. It dodged my hand.”

“That’s amazing.”

The two said with surprised expressions.

Of course, he hadn’t used his full strength, but for a mere bird to dodge a Sword Master’s touch was remarkable.

“Let’s try making it say other words too.”

“Let’s do that. I’ll try some too.”

Excited by the sudden appearance of the spirit, the two began spouting various words.

Words so childish and vulgar that it was hard to believe they came from two men with a combined age of 108 – 60 years from his previous life and 48 years currently – echoed through the mountains.

Each time, the Golden Parrot selectively repeated the words that suited its taste.

Most of them were obscene and lewd beyond measure.

-Ahhh! A robust man’s XX is entering my @@ completely!

“What the hell, what kind of words are you teaching it? And how did you make that female voice?”

“When you work as a mercenary, you learn all sorts of useless things. I used to wake up the other mercenaries with this voice during night watch when they were bored, and they all woke up well.”

“…Let’s stop this and go. It’ll be night soon.”

Lumian stood up with a defeated expression.

He himself was one thing, but no matter how he thought about it, there was no pervert who could match Eujae.

Maybe if Bumer Simpson continued developing his current tendencies, he might reach a similar level?

“Yes. Let’s go. I had a good time after so long. It was a good time to return to my childhood innocence.”

“…Did you use such words since you were young?”

“I was rather precocious.”

Lumian and Morghen constantly bickered back and forth.

They brushed off their bottoms with their hands and began descending the mountain.

They left the Golden Parrot as it was.

It was certainly a mysterious and desirable spirit, but they didn’t feel the need to forcibly take it with them.

‘Soon all the magic energy will disappear too, so it’ll live peacefully like before.’

If unlucky, it might get caught and killed or captured by hunters, but that wasn’t his concern.

Lumian walked quickly, keeping only memories of the parrot.

But then.

Flap flutter!

-Sex! Sex!

Strangely, the Golden Parrot kept following the two of them.

To be precise, it was following Lumian. The creature showed affection by circling around Lumian, perching on his shoulder, then on his head.

Morghen spoke as if finding it fascinating.

“This guy seems to have taken a liking to you, brother. How about raising it?”

“What? No way. It’s bothersome.”

“Looking at it, it seems quite smart, so it might not be that bothersome? You can tell it to do its business outside, and to find its own food.”

“Then is that raising it? That’s just letting it roam free.”

“Well, you could see it that way. Anyway, there doesn’t seem to be any harm in keeping it around. It looks quite stylish, this guy.”

“Hmm.”

Morghen was right.

Though small in size, it was incomparably more splendid than other birds. It was intelligent and quick.

He thought it might even earn him points with women who liked animals.

Thinking that way, he felt slightly tempted.

Lumian quickly reached toward the top of his head.

Smack!

-Squawk!

“You, are you going to keep following?”

Nod nod.

“Huh, it really understands what I’m saying.”

When he asked in more detail, the Golden Parrot just rolled its eyes around.

Lumian laughed as if finding it absurd, then made a serious expression.

He said with emphasis.

“It’s fine when it’s just the two of us, but you can’t say the word ‘sex’ when we’re with other people, okay? Got it? If you say such things, the atmosphere becomes awkward. Relationships might become distant too.”

-Yes! Yes!

Nod nod.

This time even the response came out clearly.

It felt like dealing with a person. Lumian nodded and released the Golden Parrot.

Then it fluttered up onto Lumian’s head again.

It was a brazen creature.

“It seems like the smartest bird I’ve seen in my 48 years of life.”

“Indeed.”

“It’s also the most stylish. Doesn’t it give off a feeling like a symbol of good luck, a symbol of wealth? I think you’ll have good fortune from now on. Probably.”

“I have enough money, so I’d like some pretty women to come along.”

“That’s always what we wish for.”

The topic had somehow shifted to women.

Morghen told spicy and interesting stories from the past 10 years with added seasoning, and Lumian, a bundle of desires but pure, listened intently while gulping down his saliva.

Before they knew it, they were in front of the estate. They could see the villagers working in the fields near the castle.

But their atmosphere seemed somehow strange.

“What’s wrong? Is it because of the parrot?”

“I don’t think so. Something must have happened.”

“Hmm.”

Lumian frowned and tried to enhance his hearing with Aura.

But before he could, a guard who had been watching the gate called out to Lumian.

He ran over quickly, panting heavily.

“Y-Young master! Huff, huff.”

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“A g-guest! A guest has arrived. A very important person…”

“Did Count Wellington come?”

Count Wellington was the greatest authority in the region, ruling over the surrounding lords.

If it was a visit from someone like him, it made sense that the guard would be making such a fuss.

But Lumian’s prediction was wrong.

A name he had forgotten for a while came out of the guard’s mouth.

“A h-high knight from the Knights Kingdom Jenas… Sir Bercal Garcia has come to visit!”

“And he says he came to see the young lord! He’s staying at the manor house right now!”

Another guard who had arrived late added to the explanation.

Lumian and Morghen turned their heads to look at each other.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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