That’s Not What Kissing Means! - Chapter 20

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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That’s not what kissing means!

Episode 20

Now that she was given the opportunity, it became a burden in its own way.

Evelyn placed both hands on her knees. Then she gripped her skirt tightly as if anxious.

Due to her nervousness, sweat seemed to be forming on her palms.

But this was something she had to accomplish no matter what. Before more time passed.

“I have no intention of meeting with Duke Ashford. Please don’t come looking for me anymore.”

She said it…!

Evelyn didn’t avoid Theo’s eyes.

She did her best to meet his gaze and tried to express her opinion.

Having clearly rejected him, she was prepared to accept whatever Theo’s reaction might be.

“…”

Theo was silent for a while. But he wasn’t getting angry either.

Her firmness left his mind reeling.

Those words that had been floating around him formlessly like pale smoke gradually took shape in his head.

Evelyn had pushed him away.

She said she didn’t want to see him anymore.

Theo stared at her intently, then placed one hand on his left chest.

“Sorry, my heart hurts more than I expected.”

“…”

“I’ll handle the pain myself.”

So, the reason?

As if he had never been in anguish, he immediately asked for the reason.

Even tending to his gaping wound was a luxury. He had to desperately hold onto Evelyn.

Meanwhile, she was confused seeing the Duke demand an answer even in this situation.

‘Does he have better recovery than I thought?’

She was wondering whether to comfort him or give him an answer to his question.

“Is it that you don’t have confidence in me after all?”

Theo spoke up. Recalling what Evelyn had said in the past.

“You’re suspicious. That I might have a change of heart.”

“That’s not it…”

“If I failed to give you trust, that’s also my fault. Then how about writing a pledge.”

“A pledge?”

“The moment I have a change of heart, I’ll offer my head. Though that won’t happen.”

What, offer what? Evelyn’s face turned pale.

“N-no! Why would you stake your life!”

“This much is nothing. It’s a fair price for those who wander with their eyes.”

The conversation wasn’t getting through at all. Evelyn decided to come up with an equally outrageous solution.

“I don’t want it, Duke, no, what would I do with Theo’s head?”

“True, it has no practical use.”

Only then did Theo agree.

Before she could even state her reason, her head started aching. Evelyn continued speaking.

“Regardless of Theo’s feelings, I have no intention of continuing our meetings!”

“…”

“Yes, you must find it absurd! To kiss twice because I liked it, then say I don’t want it now – I’d be angry too if I were you.”

“As you say, you certainly enjoyed those moments.”

But then why… Theo’s eyes widened as he pondered.

“So you were after my body from the beginning…”

Here he goes again! Evelyn cut off his words.

“That’s absolutely not it! And why do you talk about just kissing in such a way!”

“So kissing was something light for you.”

“No, that’s not what I meant…!”

Before she knew it, Evelyn had stood up from her seat.

She ran her hands through her hair in distress, then sat back down in the chair.

“I’ll explain the reason now. I hope Theo will quietly listen to what I have to say.”

At the serious atmosphere, the Duke also nodded.

She calmly recited her reasons for rejection.

“Theo, you’re a magic swordsman known not only throughout the Empire, but across the entire continent. Moreover, your status as a Duke is also incredibly high.”

“…”

“As you saw earlier, everyone’s attention is focused on you. I don’t have the confidence to handle that.”

Evelyn continued speaking calmly.

“As you know, I came up from a rural estate. I came to the Capital with difficulty, leaving my beloved family behind solely for ancient language research. I want to focus on the work I love. Quietly, silently.”

Being with Theo would lead to overwhelming days. Forget work, even daily life would be difficult.

Studying ancient languages and immersing herself in research was her long-held dream.

She didn’t want to ruin it because of momentary emotions.

So it’s because of me. Theo thought.

Nevertheless, he was greedy once more.

Even knowing that Evelyn’s resolve was firm.

“…Can’t you endure it together? With me.”

He needed immense courage to utter these words.

He had countless things he wanted to say to cling to her.

If there’s anyone who troubles you, I’ll become a sharp sword.

If arrow-like gazes pierce you, I’ll become a solid shield for you.

He wanted to say that only he would bear the pain.

At this second confession asking her to stay by his side, Evelyn had to try to be cold.

“My feelings for Theo… for you aren’t deep enough for that.”

Hurting another person was an extremely painful thing.

Her violet eyes that held only him wavered for a moment.

“…I see.”

Theo quietly accepted it.

His face fell at her heart-achingly firm words.

There were no feelings that could claim priority in Evelyn’s life. That would be greed.

Just staying in a small gap would have been enough, but even that seemed difficult.

It was quite painful. The difference in the size of their hearts.

He drank the wine in his glass. Evelyn also gulped down her drink as if she couldn’t bear it.

Whew- She let out a big breath.

“Duke, no, Theo should stop thinking about someone like me and look for a new love.”

At those words, Theo felt puzzled.

Since ‘that day,’ Evelyn was the only one who had entered his heart.

The sincere concern she showed had completely changed everything about Theo.

How could he forget the moment she came running to save him, setting everything aside.

Even though she almost fell from running so urgently, she never took her eyes off Theo.

Those blue eyes that held only him… he would remember them for life.

But how could she tell him to find someone else?

He asked.

“For example?”

You want me to give an example? Flustered, Evelyn slowly continued.

“Well, I think this way… a person to spend your whole life with should slowly get to know each other for a long time… and deeply permeate each other.”

“…”

“Of course, I’m not really one to talk since I kissed you right away… but if you do that, you’ll fall so deeply for the other person that you won’t be able to escape.”

“Enough to endure any hardship?”

“Yes? Oh, that’s right.”

Would this be enough of an answer…? Evelyn watched his reaction.

The Duke seemed to be pondering her words for a moment.

“If what I said was strange…”

“No, I understand.”

Theo’s expression looked much lighter after saying that. As if he had escaped from a labyrinth he’d been wandering in for a long time.

“For a long time, slowly, deeply.”

Right? Evelyn nodded at those words.

Because they were the complete opposite of themselves.

“Get up if you’re done eating.”

Theo rose from his seat. She was glad since she disliked the heavy atmosphere.

“I’ll take you home.”

I want to go alone though…

When Evelyn said nothing, he chuckled softly.

“Are you planning to refuse again?”

This will hurt even more.

He placed his hand on his chest again.

“No! I would very much like you to take me home!”

Evelyn hurriedly got up from her seat and followed him.

* * *

She didn’t know how she had arrived home.

She thought she had made light conversation with him in the carriage, but she couldn’t remember anything.

After arriving in front of the dilapidated apartment building, the Duke quietly watched her until she opened the door and went inside.

He seemed to be making sure she arrived safely.

Evelyn climbed the creaking stairs with her shoulders hunched.

Choosing a house close to the Imperial Palace within her given budget had left her with only a run-down room.

She took out her key and entered her space.

After washing up lightly, she collapsed onto her bed.

“That’s it… it’s over now. I just need to live like this…”

Peacefully and quietly.

‘We won’t have to meet again.’

Great fatigue washed over her. It felt like she had pushed away a stone in her heart, but it didn’t feel light.

‘Was he hurt? Is he having a hard time?’

She didn’t know why she kept worrying about the Duke’s feelings.

Despite being exhausted, sleep didn’t come easily.

From the moment she first met Theo to the scene of their parting…

Everything came back to her clearly, without missing a single detail.

He was special. This kind of flutter was a first for her.

Just facing him made her chest tingle.

It felt like walking on soft, sweet cotton candy.

Being with the Duke had taught her new emotions. She had discovered a more colorful side of herself.

It seemed like it would take a long time to forget Theo.

Still, she had no regrets about her decision.

Evelyn forced her eyes closed. Even after that, sleep didn’t come easily, and she had to toss and turn for a while.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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