That Piece Of Trash Was Me - Chapter 123
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 123
Does everything have to hurt this much in order to crumble?
A heart that had been frozen solid begins to melt drop by drop.
Just like now.
* * *
“Aster.”
Aster looks down at her.
The deep pink hair that he had carefully brushed every evening was today completely twisted up and tied without leaving a single strand loose.
The dark robe she had put on.
Leather shoes good for running in case of emergency.
Eyes filled with moisture that hinted she would now leave his side forever.
“If, just if. Even if I can’t return with our daughter…”
“…”
“You have to make her happy.”
“…”
Seeing Aster give no response, she lets out a bitter laugh.
It’s a laugh without even a grain of joy. More like forcing herself to smile.
With such a painful smile, she raises her hand and presses firmly on Aster’s furrowed brow.
Her fingers touching his wrinkled forehead are so cold.
In that brief moment, he sensed the fear she was hiding, and Aster couldn’t say anything.
“Look. You’re big and have fierce eyes, so our daughter will be very scared of you when she grows up.”
“…Am I that scary?”
“Are you asking because you don’t know? So always be gentle with our daughter. Buy her lots of pretty clothes, give her plenty of gifts on every birthday. If she ever gets sick, hold her hand by her side.”
“…”
“What I won’t be able to do, you have to do it all. Understand? Aster?”
“…”
“So our daughter will never be afraid of you, so she can think she’s happy to have such a good father.”
“…”
“So she won’t feel the absence of her mother…”
“…”
“You have to take good care of her. She’s our daughter. Our youngest daughter. Our Tulia…”
The tears that had been welling up finally flow down.
“Our poor daughter…”
Like the most precious treasure in the world, teardrops fall onto Tulia’s forehead as she holds her tightly.
Worried that little Tulia, sleeping deeply, might wake from the moisture, he and she hurriedly and carefully wipe it away.
They look at their sleeping daughter’s long eyelashes. Will the pale pink color deepen like her mother’s as she grows?
Or will it remain a soft pink to match her name Tulip?
“Aster.”
She said, wiping away tears with the back of her hand.
“Promise me you’ll raise our Tulia so she’s never sad, never lacking anything. Just like you promised to love me for life. Please?”
“…Yes.”
His throat was so choked up that even answering one word was difficult.
So this, this answer wasn’t a sound made by vibrating his vocal cords.
It was more like a sound Aster barely managed to make by beating his heart.
“I promise. I will definitely do that.”
She cried and smiled.
“Thank you.”
* * *
“…”
The Marquis was silent for a moment as if recalling something dear, then slowly opened his mouth.
“You asked why I never sent anyone all this time. Why I only neglected you. Whether it was enough to just send things.”
Marquis Aster Frazier took my hand. No, it was more like enveloping it than holding it.
His hand was cold and hard as stone that had never once had blood flow through it.
Perhaps that’s why.
Even though I was bristling with thorns like a cotton ball full of poison, I couldn’t bring myself to push his hand away.
“You’re right.”
“…”
“Your words weren’t wrong, but to make excuses.”
Marquis Aster slowly lowered his eyes.
“At the border, there are unimaginably countless barbarians. So initially, I absolutely couldn’t leave that place. If I removed even one person from our forces to send to you, an entire squad would have been annihilated.”
“…”
“Every three months, I selected money and gifts for you and sent them with the Imperial Merchant Group that came for supplies. Later, I had them bring dress catalogs and ordered everything to send to you.”
“…Everything?”
“Yes, everything.”
The Marquis muttered as if talking to himself.
“Not knowing that not a single one reached you. I just thought you would like them. I thought you’d wear pretty dresses every day and play happily.”
I recall the splendid things Sandra and Belladonna Mertung had been wearing.
Seeing their attire, I had thought Nigella truly loved them.
But.
“I was foolish. Not knowing that since they were a trading company residing in the Imperial Capital, they might be close to Nigella.”
Marquis Aster laughed self-deprecatingly.
“No, not knowing Nigella could be so wicked.”
“…”
“After some time passed, things became organized and we had some breathing room. I was finally going to come to you, but I received a letter from Viscount Lilius.”
“…What kind of letter?”
“A letter saying you had come to hate me.”
“…”
Nigella and Viscount Lilius had kept the Marquis and Tulia apart.
No, beyond keeping them apart, they had even broken the bridge so they could never reach each other again.
The Marquis’s voice was hoarse from bearing that devastation.
“Tulia.”
“…Yes.”
We hardened like the words carved on a tombstone, only gazing at each other silently for a while.
“You said you were too scared to send anyone to me.”
“…”
“I was the same. It might sound ridiculous, but I was the same. I was afraid that seeing me, who wasn’t by my daughter’s side when she was sick and struggling between life and death, might make you have a seizure.”
“…”
“Even though I’m much more of an adult than you, I was so afraid of that, so I just hoped your heart would soften and only sent gifts. Every time I practically emptied the trading companies to send you only the best things.”
“…”
“I didn’t know my avoidance had pushed you to death’s door. This father knew nothing.”
“…”
“I’m sorry, Tulia. I was a coward and pathetic. I wasn’t like a father and couldn’t be like a dad.”
“….”
“So you almost….”
The Marquis’s voice trembles slightly at the end.
He didn’t say anything more. He just lowered his head a little.
Tears dripped down along his straight nose to the floor.
“I was afraid of losing you again. I’m sorry, Tulia.”
His words had no subject. But I could understand.
What the Marquis had lost long ago. His beloved wife.
And I was their youngest daughter, rumored to be both the fruit of love and evidence of betrayal.
It was ridiculous.
Both Nigella and Lilius.
They had aimed all their guns at Marquis Aster. Whether they did it knowingly or unknowingly, I couldn’t tell.
Due to the guns and blades they aimed flawlessly, Marquis Aster couldn’t dare move even a single step.
Until Tulia was on the verge of dying without anyone knowing.
“Marquis.”
I asked in a slow tone.
“Do you still… love Mother?”
I thought the Marquis wouldn’t answer immediately.
I thought there would be at least some hesitation, accumulated like traces of shredded paper.
But my thoughts were arrogant.
“Yes.”
The Marquis answered without a moment’s hesitation.
“There has never been a single moment when I didn’t.”
“….”
It’s a fact everyone knows that the Marquis’s wife, that is, Tulia’s mother, abandoned the Marquis and ran away with her first love.
Even so, does Marquis Aster, does Father still love Mother?
Is such a thing possible?
But I didn’t ask any more.
Just as I had poured out my anguish all day, the Marquis’s heart must also be torn to shreds with all its membranes worn away.
The fake painting depicting a fake bedroom, filled with fake coziness, had long been abandoned beneath our feet.
Instead of the fake he had brought crumpled up, Marquis Aster took out the real one from his pocket.
A green diamond with vivid, beautiful light green color.
The large scratch on the delicate gold surrounding the diamond looked just like us.
Marquis Aster gazed at the diamond and opened his mouth.
“The moment I first saw this green diamond, I thought I absolutely had to give it to you. It really resembles your eye color so much.”
“…You did remember my eye color.”
“Of course I remembered.”
The Marquis smiled faintly.
“When you first opened your eyes as a newborn and looked at me, I was amazed because your eye color was exactly the same as mine.”
“….”
“Green emeralds and jade are common, but green diamonds are hard to obtain. I decided to purchase it the moment I saw it and kept it with me.”
“…You didn’t send it to me right away?”
At my slight puzzlement, the Marquis laughed quietly for the first time.
“Yes. Looking at this reminded me of your eyes.”
“….”
“So even though I could give away everything else, I wanted to keep just this one thing with me.”
“….”
“But eventually, I ended up sending it for your birthday last year.”
“…Why?”
At the implication of why his mind suddenly changed, Marquis Aster was silent for a moment before slowly answering.
“Because you might think of this father when you see this diamond too.”
“….”
“Actually, I hoped that you, Tulia, would sometimes….”
“….”
“Really just sometimes think of me. I thought that if you did, the hatred you have for me might lessen a bit, so I sent it to you.”
“….”
“I just did that, Tulia.”
“….”
“…Thank you for being alive. Tulia.”
“….”
“Just that alone is more than I deserve to be grateful for. Tulia. My daughter.”
Why do emotions turn into moisture when they become piercing?
Why can’t they just evaporate and instead insist on taking form and spreading?
“I am…. I really am….”
I didn’t even know what to say. Tears just flowed out frantically.
“I’m sorry, that I. That this father….”
Then.
Rainbow-colored letters floated in the air, shimmering like coral.
[System] Benefit ‘Child’s Disposition, Pearl-like Tears’ completed!
[System] Benefit Description: Haven’t your emotions that you’ve been suppressing all this time been too mature? This allows you to express your emotions in their raw form!
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Shushu
Who needs ops when you have a family of snakes. Sheesh. I hope they can start the process of healing. In some capacity, I hope all the Tulias from previous timelines are viewing this event…
Also zaddy, I hope you know that you also neglected your sons too. While yes, they did receive the monetary support that you sent them, but let’s not forget that you hadn’t seen them for some years too!
Also somewhat related, is that tidbit of Tulia translating that ancient script for that hottie thottie Pneuma scholar guy going anywhere