Resetting Lady - Chapter 68
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Baron Ain lit his pipe with trembling hands. His wife had left for her parental home with the child. She left behind a letter saying she would send the divorce papers by mail. Not a single maid who used to cling to him and act coquettishly remained. Ain felt rage boiling up at the men who were taking even the smallest items.
“Damn it, why are you taking those portraits?”
“We need to sell everything that could bring even a little money to cover the debts, Baron Ain.”
The lawyer bowed politely as he spoke. But there was a smile on his lowered face. This situation amused him. Baron Ain had become the laughingstock of high society. Despite losing his entire fortune, no one sympathized with him. It was a complete fall without honor or meaning. Knowing how ridiculous he must look, Ain just puffed on his pipe.
‘Should I just die?’
It was an incomprehensible method. And Karen hadn’t hesitated for even a moment, not even looking at her cards. He wondered if she might be receiving signals while looking elsewhere, but that wasn’t the case either.
“…Fuck.”
Should he have died for honor? Ain found himself absurd, only able to hold his pipe and watch. As he watched people drag away everything of value, he laughed bitterly when he saw them even taking his hunting dogs.
‘Come to think of it, this isn’t the first time.’
His grandfather had also played such card games. Ain remembered how his great-grandfather had lost miserably to Archduchess Carla with just three cards. Catherine had also gambled with him for a while. Though she stopped paying him any attention once she started getting involved with Hyer. Ain gritted his teeth. Fucking bitches.
“…Ah, damn it.”
Ain leaned his head against the doorframe in front of his room and cursed aloud. They had even taken his desk. Ain had to write his letter against the wall in the empty room. Muttering that he wished everyone would just die.
* * *
I love you. I love you. Really.
But confessions are hollow. They don’t reach. His feelings are worthless to her. The woman who used to sparkle her eyes like stars until recently now finds even looking at him disgusting. There’s no reason for fickleness.
The door doesn’t open even when knocked.
No reply comes even when letters are sent.
Anger becomes tears, and when even those dry up, only emptiness fills the void.
Passion fades with time and anger becomes trivial.
Only dirty hatred remains.
But Prince Guiz remembered his passion.
* * *
“Thank you.”
Raymond offered flowers to Karen. The light blue hydrangeas were lush. Karen looked at the hydrangeas still beaded with dew. Karen hears this confession every day lately. Raymond asked carefully.
“Has anything changed?”
Like trivial wordplay, he declares love and expresses gratitude. But both the confessing man and the listening woman are lukewarm. As promised, Raymond confesses. But nothing changes. Are obligatory emotions meaningless?
“I don’t think so. Who did you buy this from?”
Beautiful but not particularly precious. Light purple-blue hydrangeas suitable for daily decoration. Karen liked red roses best, but these had their own pure beauty. But the dew isn’t good for books.
Karen pointed to the old books and materials surrounding her and handed them back to Raymond. Without a maid to receive gifts on her behalf, the behavior was somewhat awkward, but it couldn’t be helped. Raymond realized he had made a slight mistake and smiled awkwardly.
“There’s a child named Cecil who sells flowers across from the cathedral in the old town, and the quality is good.”
“You went all the way there this morning?”
The cathedral of the capital was accessible but not really worth the distance on a non-holy day. But Raymond was the type of person who felt restless if he didn’t move his body. This hadn’t changed even after his promise with Karen, so he would disappear and wander around whenever he had time.
He seemed to be thinking in his own way, frequently bringing gifts, but since he didn’t really know what Karen specifically needed, he just brought armfuls of flowers every day instead of the maids.
“Moderate exercise helps one enjoy a healthy life.”
She knew what would come next. He would suggest going out together. But Karen found moving bothersome.
“Thank you for the appropriate advice. But I won’t listen to anything beyond that.”
Raymond sighed and took back the bouquet he had given to Karen. He decorated the window with the hydrangeas and opened it. Only then did Karen realize she hadn’t slept in bed but had spent the night sitting up.
“Anyway, good morning, Karen. Was there any harvest last night?”
“Not right now. There isn’t much time… Please cancel all incoming appointments.”
Karen shook her head as she checked the invitations Raymond handed her. There wasn’t enough time, but there were too many invitations. Everyone wanted to see Catherine’s daughter, Evans’ daughter, Raymond’s fiancée – the one who had made Baron Ain miserable.
Unlike before when she had to watch Verdick’s mood, now she only needed to consider Raymond.
“First, let’s get up and have a meal. And wash your face too. Worrying a loyal maid is not what a good lady does.”
Raymond lifted Karen out from among the books and shook off the dust. The sight looked exactly like caring for a child who had been playing somewhere, which displeased Karen.
“Lord Raymond.”
“Yes.”
“What is love?”
“It’s said to be something where you don’t regret giving the best things, and just looking at them makes you smile.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?”
Karen looked up at Raymond’s vivid green eyes. Those eyes seemed slightly flustered. Raymond didn’t answer and finished dusting off Karen’s clothes before handing her the letters he had brought.
“I’m trying to.”
In the end, he won’t say he believes it. Karen answered with a sullen face. Even she thought it seemed somewhat unreasonable.
“It’s true, isn’t it? The sudden story about us being lovers from a past life, and the talk about being in a book, about living again…”
And that woman is someone who killed people. Karen swallowed her words. That was taboo. A different kind of taboo from absurd talk. No matter how much circumstantial evidence there was, she must not speak it aloud. That was the promise and courtesy. The final line.
Karen changed the subject while running her hand through her hair. Days pass one by one. Let’s do what she can do. Was what Raymond brought an invitation?
“I don’t want to go out today. I want to check a bit more.”
Karen checked the bundle Raymond handed her. They were all from nobles, and low-quality men obsessed with gambling at that. Karen put down the bundle of letters and picked up a history book again. She didn’t want unnecessary stories.
“Having a fiancé is convenient in this way. Can I write that I won’t go because Lord Raymond is jealous?”
“Do as you wish. Karen, I am trying to believe.”
“Because it’s a promise?”
“Because it’s a promise. If you and your mother Catherine showed the same symptoms, I think it’s natural to infer that your maternal grandmother would have the same symptoms.”
“Are you also trying to love me?”
“…”
Raymond seemed momentarily speechless.
“Aren’t you?”
“Um, Karen.”
Raymond seemed a bit flustered. He hesitated with his hands as if not knowing what to do, then stroked his chin. Though his face was so smooth that no beard could be found, his behavior was like a scholar lost in deep thought.
“Thinking again, what is love? The love you think of, the love that Priest Dulan thinks of.”
“That’s what I’m curious about too.”
“Actually, whether it’s a curse or what… Actually, I want to deny from the start what you’re thinking – that this world is a novel.”
“Is that some kind of problem?”
Karen’s father had admired it as a truly romantic story. Lord Hyer had thought so. Karen felt herself getting slightly tense. Would differences appear here too? The only common point between Lord Hyer and Raymond was their decent faces. Raymond hesitated a bit before finishing his answer.
“It’s a bit childish, isn’t it?”
Would he let her hit him if she did? Her life was ending because of that childishness. When Karen’s expression soured at such thoughts, Raymond wrapped his arm around her shoulder soothingly.
“I’m not trying to blame you. But just… yes. I think I have similar thoughts to you. It’s too absurd to want to believe. The world is absurd and wars happen. And the reason you keep dying repeatedly is just because of one man-woman love – I think that’s too terrible a story.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
Since it was a part she had raged about in frustration many times, it wasn’t new. That human life and death are determined by temporary emotions and lust might be a romantic story to someone, but if that period extends to eternity, it becomes horrific. So Karen asks a simple question. Philosophy is tiresome.
“Then do you love me?”
“I’m trying every day.”
“Don’t you?”
“Please… don’t make it definitive. That’s a bit… I am trying every day, but I don’t really know where the standard is. You don’t know either, do you?”
Karen slumped down on the sofa. That’s right. Yes, let’s love! – but how do you confirm that just because you make a contract? What is Dulan’s standard? And until when, and how long must it be maintained? Her teeth ground together.
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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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