My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 8

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 8

That day, Azel ran away.

He made a terrifyingly frightened expression and then turned his back and disappeared.

Just when I thought I’d inevitably be sent back to prison, surprisingly, Simoer guided me not to prison but to another place.

It was the very room where I had first opened my eyes when I came to this place.

“You may stay here for the time being.”

Simoer, who had even treated me as a proper guest, disappeared, and I thus became a real guest of this manor.

‘Well, it’s fortunate that I avoided going to prison, but still.’

However, there was still a problem.

‘Am I being neglected too much?’

Azel, that bastard was avoiding me.

“At this rate, forget a month. It’ll take about 10 years.”

Thanks to that, sighs piled up to my chin.

“Where are you going?”

As I sighed deeply and opened the door to go out, someone immediately spoke to me.

The one looking at me with a sly smile was none other than Simoer.

‘There should be many people here, but why do they all move around like ghosts? Why is Simoer the only one I can see?’

There should be not just Azel’s followers but also many servants in the manor, yet I had never seen any other servants besides Simoer.

It seemed they were all avoiding me like their master.

“I’m going to look for that person.”

“Oh my, it’s going to be noisy again.”

Of course, that didn’t mean I was going to just sit still.

For the sake of future plans, we needed to become close first.

*

Azel originally holed himself up deep in the manor around this time, staring blankly.

He had long grown tired of seeing the blazing sun or walking through deserted forest paths.

No, to dig deeper, everywhere was like sitting on a bed of nails for him.

This manor was his old sanctuary, and thanks to that, dozens of lifetimes had melted into every place his feet touched.

A daily life where even reminiscing and getting hurt had become a luxury was enough to make Azel feel helpless.

But even so,

he hadn’t wanted this kind of commotion.

“As expected, you were here.”

“…How did you find this place again?”

“There are ways for everything.”

Her grinning face made it even harder to guess the woman’s age.

Despite her mature appearance, her mischievous innocent smile was youthful.

On the first day, the woman who had only shed silent tears while looking at Azel no longer cried.

Instead, she clung to him with such bright smiles that it was bewildering to watch, as if something made her incredibly happy.

“So how about it?”

“What?”

“The weather is so nice, want to go on a date with me?”

Just like this.

‘That damn date.’

He almost let slip words unbecoming of a noble.

The woman was needlessly aggressive. She seemed to know no shame, persistently asking for dates despite being rejected every time.

‘Without even telling me.’

Azel still didn’t know the woman’s name or age.

Yet she had the audacity to sit beside him and chatter away as if trying to seduce an innocent young man.

‘Of course, in reality, he’s far from an innocent young man—just a decrepit monster wearing fresh skin.’

Familiar self-loathing tightened around his throat.

But ridiculously, the woman didn’t even give Azel time to fall into self-hatred.

“Ignoring me again? Fine, then today you absolutely must give me a name.”

The suddenly shortened distance made the woman’s scent linger around his nose.

“Calling me ‘hey, woman’ every time isn’t great. It feels too distant. Isn’t it uncomfortable for you too, Azel?”

“I don’t need to call you anything. You’re the one who came looking for me for pointless reasons anyway.”

If anyone else had acted this way, he would have already cut off their head. The lukewarm human warmth was terrible.

However, Azel’s reason for avoiding the woman was closer to bewilderment than horror.

The woman acted as if she knew nothing about maintaining proper distance between people.

Just like right now.

“How is this pointless! That’s too much!”

“Get away! What do you think you’re doing!”

“Why! I’m not even touching you!”

The woman jumped into the seat next to Azel.

She emphasized with both palms that there was this much distance between them—about a span—saying there was plenty of space, which was absolutely ridiculous.

‘It would be better to just leave.’

If he continued dealing with her, he might get caught up in the woman’s pace again, so he tried to leave, but someone grabbed Azel’s sleeve.

“Won’t you let go?”

“Sorry. Please don’t go.”

She had just raised her voice petulantly moments ago, but the woman’s voice had suddenly dropped low.

“I’ll stay still, so just stay here.”

When he unconsciously turned his head, Azel’s eyes met the woman’s.

Her calm blue eyes looked directly at Azel without wavering. When looking into the woman’s eyes, Azel strangely found it difficult to refuse her words.

“You’re not going to lock me up again, are you?”

“If you keep acting so willfully like this, I’ll have to.”

“Oh, I really shouldn’t joke around anymore.”

“You said you’d never joked around before, but now you’re admitting it.”

When he sat back down, the woman looked at Azel and smiled quietly.

It wasn’t a teasing expression. Her smiling face now held different emotions instead of the earlier innocence.

“Even if you lock me up again, I don’t want it to be underground.”

Azel momentarily hesitated at words that sounded particularly sincere.

“This place has a good view of the outside scenery.”

Was it his imagination? The woman, who had turned her head, looked toward the window and asked.

“What do you think about when you sit here?”

It was a difficult question to answer readily.

At one time, Azel had sat here looking out the wide window and thought about countless things.

Those were mostly dear things he had lost. Though he no longer recalled them.

Since stolen time doesn’t return, thinking about it was meaningless.

“Nothing. I’m just resting.”

The woman let out a small laugh as if she had expected this.

Just when he was about to feel offended, a gentle voice continued.

“When I look at windows, I remember the old days. Wide open views like this were something I could never even dream of, so it’s fascinating to see.”

He turned his head at the cryptic words, but the woman’s eyes were still directed outside the window.

“Against the gray wall backdrop, I could see people’s feet passing by. To be precise, I could only see their feet. There wasn’t trash scattered around, but watching those hurriedly moving feet made me strangely want to see the sky.”

It was a strange thing to say.

‘A window where you can’t see the sky.’

What kind of architect would build such a terrible house?

‘Unless someone had been confined there, that wouldn’t be possible…’

Wait.

…Confined?

My lips, which had parted at the carelessly surfaced thought, hesitated.

“How is the woman?”

“Same as yesterday. She’s still knocking on the walls, they say. She looked quite anxious.”

The woman who had looked particularly anxious when confined in prison.

Her words about not wanting to be underground even if imprisoned.

‘Could it be.’

While Azel was considering a certain possibility.

“When I could actually see the sky, I never thought about it. The human heart is truly fickle.”

The woman continued her story, unaware of that fact.

*

‘What’s with him? Why is he staring like that?’

I was changing the subject, thinking that if I teased him any more I’d be headed back to prison, but somehow Azel’s gaze felt intense.

Thanks to that, I had no choice but to pretend ignorance even more desperately.

“Back then, I thought about it every day in that chicken coop-like room. That I would do anything if I could just get out of there.”

Of course, this sudden TMI dump also had the purpose of building rapport.

‘Originally, people become close by sharing these kinds of trivial past stories.’

Looking at the wide window reminded me of old times after so long.

‘That damn basement.’

I had actually lived in a basement during my college years.

Since I was trying to find a place near school, I didn’t really have any other options.

Back then, watching people’s feet pass by was really part of daily life, and that’s when I learned that there are all kinds of crazy people in this world.

“So when I first came out of there, I was really happy. Ah, finally! I had thoughts like that.”

Now that I said it, it was a memory, but.

‘Still, it’s not a memory I’d want to experience again.’

Especially if it were an underground prison.

As I finished reminiscing and turned my head, I immediately met eyes with Azel.

He seemed to have been watching me the entire time I was talking.

“…?”

But for some reason, Azel’s gaze looking at me was strangely menacing.

‘What’s with him? Why is he acting like that?’

Was he that pissed off about me teasing him earlier?

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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