My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 44

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 44

 

“First, please sit down here.”

 

Azel, who had hurriedly approached me, was clearly flustered.

 

“I’ve been wanting to ask this for a while, but why do you always get angry first without properly asking anything?”

 

The atmosphere in the room instantly turned cold.

 

Though the mentally unstable patient before me having sudden outbursts wasn’t a new occurrence, considering how my heart dropped each time, I felt the need to establish some discipline at least once.

 

“It seems like you only act this way toward me specifically. Is there a reason?”

 

“Could I perhaps step outside for a moment?”

 

As soon as I finished speaking, Dekan interjected.

 

“Wouldn’t it be better for you, Master, than being scolded in front of all of us?”

 

“I’m not scolding anyone, and the meeting isn’t over yet, so please stay put.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Of course, that wasn’t happening.

 

I turned back to Azel.

 

“If you have something to say or don’t understand something, you can just ask.”

 

“….”

 

“If you had done that, I would have answered properly. There’s no need to raise your voice like this.”

 

The longer I spoke, the more Azel’s head dropped toward the floor.

 

“I’m really scared right now.”

 

“Be quiet, Dekan. Do you want to get scolded too?”

 

“Huh?! No!”

 

I said I wasn’t scolding anyone. When I glanced at the two chattering people, they immediately fell silent.

 

“You knew from the beginning that the Prince’s curse was related to dark magic, didn’t you?”

 

Thinking about it, Azel had warned me from the start not to approach the Prince.

 

“But you didn’t want me to know about dark magic. Why did you dislike it so much?”

 

“…I knew you would naturally try to save him.”

 

“And you were surprised that I didn’t?”

 

Though there was no affirmative response, seeing how he couldn’t keep his lips still showed he was quite flustered.

 

“I’m not a saint.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

 

“I’m not a Holy Maiden.”

 

“I know that too.”

 

“If you know that, why did you think I would naturally step in?”

 

Azel pressed his lips tightly shut again.

 

“I won’t know if you don’t tell me.”

 

However, at my gentle urging, he finally opened his mouth.

 

“Because you even try to save someone like me.”

 

“…What?”

 

“Since you’re someone who tries to save even me, naturally you’d help them too.”

 

I was momentarily speechless.

 

“Dark magic is a dangerous power. It’s something so dangerous that no one except a Holy Maiden would even think of easily touching it. But you have the power to oppose it.”

 

“That’s,”

 

“I hate that.”

 

“Azel?”

 

“I hate that you use that power for other people.”

 

Meeting his eyes belatedly, I unconsciously asked with personal interest.

 

“Is it… like jealousy?”

 

I found myself ridiculous for being curious about such a thing in this situation, but I couldn’t help asking.

 

“It’s not like that.”

 

Of course, Azel’s answer was firm as bamboo.

 

But before I could feel disappointed, Azel continued speaking.

 

“I’m afraid.”

 

“You’re afraid?”

 

“Yes. I did it because I was afraid. I’m afraid that you… that you might get hurt.”

 

After saying that, Azel avoided my gaze.

 

His handsome profile showed embarrassment, as if he hadn’t intended to speak so honestly.

 

However, the most troubled person was me.

 

‘Just which tune am I supposed to dance to?’

 

I don’t know why he’s confusing me like this when he called me horrible before.

 

“This is driving me crazy…”

 

Thanks to that, a sigh rose from deep within my core.

 

‘Why does that dejected look seem cute to me?’

 

I could only lament the fact that I still hadn’t completely gotten over my infatuation with Azel.

 

“…Fine. Thank you for being honest with me. Please just tell me directly like this from now on. This is better than fighting due to misunderstandings.”

 

“…Okay.”

 

“And don’t worry too much. Honestly, I’m not really interested in anyone except Azel.”

 

I had only spoken my honest feelings, but suddenly Azel’s head turned toward me.

 

But this time it really wasn’t because of my personal feelings.

 

“It’s a misunderstanding that I try to save people ‘like’ Azel too. Sorry, but the only person I want to save, then and now, is Azel alone.”

 

Simply put, it’s like a one-on-one dedicated marking concept.

 

‘If I take good care of Azel alone, Yulia will save the other people.’

 

One might say I’m putting too much burden on Yulia, but honestly, this was the harder fight for me.

 

“…Elpis…”

 

Meanwhile, Azel, having heard my answer, called my name somewhat wistfully for some reason.

 

However, I was too exhausted, having worn down my mind and body, to fall for unintentional flirting.

 

“Let’s just finish the meeting for now. Thank you both for waiting.”

 

Belatedly looking for Linoa Marigold and Dekan, the two approached hesitantly.

 

I asked Dekan among them.

 

“You heard everything, right?”

 

“Huh? What, what did I hear?”

 

“That Eggmund seems to be involved with dark magic.”

 

“Oh, that. Yes, I heard!”

 

“We need more information to decide what to do going forward. Could you tell me everything you know about the North?”

 

“Everything?”

 

Just as Dekan was flustered, a knock came from outside.

 

Knock knock knock.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Dinner is ready. May we prepare it right away?”

 

It was the dinner I had forgotten about.

 

“Well, shall we eat first?”

 

My stomach had been feeling particularly empty, probably because my blood sugar had dropped.

 

*

 

“So the moonflower is ultimately a fictional flower that appears in legends?”

 

Throughout the meal, Dekan told us stories about the North.

 

Most of it was useless talk, but fortunately there was some helpful information, and the story about evening primroses was particularly interesting.

 

“Evening primroses that bloom only under moonlight drive away darkness and summon dawn. It’s certainly not very realistic.”

 

“That’s right. In the first place, flowers blooming in the barren North would be impossible.”

 

Dekan certainly seemed skeptical about the existence of evening primroses.

 

But my case was different.

 

‘A flower from legend that a budding Ropan male lead(?) is searching for – there’s no way such foreshadowing would exist for nothing.’

 

In fact, if ‘darkness’ was substituted with demonic energy, summoning dawn could be interpreted as purifying demonic energy.

 

Regardless of whether the flower actually existed, the legend itself had a high possibility of serving as some kind of ‘foreshadowing.’

 

Meanwhile, as the meal was coming to an end, a maid knocked on the door just like before.

 

“May I clear the dishes?”

 

“Come in.”

 

Three maids entered and began quietly clearing the dishes, and they seemed particularly tense, as if they had heard something about our identities.

 

I just stared at them intently without saying anything.

 

“Is there anything you might need?”

 

Perhaps because I stared too much. A voice with trembling undertones cautiously asked me.

 

“I don’t need anything, I’m just curious. The knights here also do maid work.”

 

“Pfft!”

 

“…What?”

 

Dekan, who was drinking water, put on a spectacular fountain show, but everyone’s attention was still focused on me.

 

“Is that the trend these days?”

 

“Th-that’s not it, Lady Linoa is-!”

 

Dekan hurriedly made excuses about Linoa, but I shook my head.

 

“No, not Linoa. This one.”

 

I pointed directly at one of the three maids.

 

“What? M-me?”

 

“Maids don’t usually have calluses on the backs of their hands.”

 

“Th-this is from doing housework,”

 

“Besides, I found it strange so I looked carefully, and it seems like we’ve met before.”

 

“…What?”

 

“You came with the Duke to look for the Young Master today, didn’t you? You were wearing a helmet earlier, so this is the first time I’ve seen your face.”

 

People often mistakenly think that covering just their face will make them unrecognizable. But physical habits were also quite noticeable clues.

 

“Being left-handed, and even your gait and habits are identical.”

 

The posture of lowering one’s center of gravity to eliminate presence wasn’t something an ordinary maid would adopt.

 

“And you ‘pretended’ to be nervous too obviously. People trembling with fear don’t just shrink their shoulders. The neck muscles react first.”

 

As I tapped my neck with my finger, the maid’s expression immediately hardened.

 

“Well then, I think that’s enough explanation. Now, will you answer?”

 

When the maid’s breathing finally became shallow, I asked at last.

 

“Who ordered it? To monitor us.”

 

I thought I could sleep comfortably for at least one night, but it seemed I was wrong.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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