My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 34

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 34

 

“You seem quite nervous, are you alright?”

 

“Yes… no.”

 

“What?”

 

“Ah, no. I’m fine.”

 

“I see.”

 

Actually, I wasn’t fine at all. I was just afraid of Ron’s pretentiously kind smile.

 

“Miss.”

 

“Yes, yes!”

 

“You’ve looked unwell today, are you really alright?”

 

“…What?”

 

However, what came out of Ron’s mouth had nothing to do with the grave before us.

 

“You’ve been like that since you came here. You looked so depressed as if the world had collapsed, so I shamelessly stepped away for a moment.”

 

“…Ah…”

 

To think that was the reason he deliberately created an atmosphere and threatened me.

 

I could only make a stupid expression at his unexpected words, and Ron smiled at me like a kind old man.

 

“Was it that obvious?”

 

“When you get older, you tend to see more than others.”

 

His playful tone was even affectionate at first glance.

 

“Did something happen outside perhaps?”

 

“Didn’t you hear from Azel or Linoa Marigold?”

 

“I only know there was a small accident.”

 

But I had no intention of consulting Ron about my current situation in detail.

 

After all, Ron was also one of the people I was deceiving.

 

“It’s nothing serious.”

 

“Then all the more reason you could tell me about it.”

 

Besides, my current depression wasn’t because of what happened outside.

 

“I made a foolish mistake.”

 

“A mistake?”

 

“The mistake of thinking that maybe I might be different. But I quickly realized I wasn’t, and that’s all. It wasn’t something worth being comforted over.”

 

I mixed in some truth and made excuses appropriately, but Ron’s gaze remained unchanged.

 

I added like an excuse.

 

“It’s fortunate that I realized it wasn’t true even now, but my heart feels restless. But I’ll be fine soon. So you don’t need to worry.”

 

“I didn’t know that the heart could be cut clean like slicing radish and become fine.”

 

“I’m going to cut it clean like slicing radish and try to make a good broth from it.”

 

I tried to brush it off with a joke, but Ron persistently struck at my core.

 

“That must be quite lonely.”

 

“…”

 

“You’ve been dropped alone in a place where no one knows you, and if your heart is also cut off, how lonely that must be.”

 

I found myself speechless without realizing it.

 

He didn’t say it knowing my situation. Ron must have said that based on the act I had put on, but my real situation wasn’t much different from this.

 

“Don’t you hate it?”

 

“Am I really in a position to hate?”

 

“Does hatred come after considering one’s position? If you feel hatred, then you just hate.”

 

“…It’s strange. Why are you being so kind today?”

 

Thinking I couldn’t continue like this, I tried to change the subject, but he suddenly burst into hearty laughter.

 

“You’re right about that. It’s strange to me too.”

 

“It’s not like you, Ron.”

 

“You’re right. I’m not usually like this.”

 

Then he walked toward the grave with indifferent steps.

 

His wrinkled hand swept over the grave, and his stiff back bent round like an ordinary old man as he bowed.

 

“Perhaps it’s because when I stood with my back to this grave earlier, someone came running as if it were their own business? That’s why I keep wanting to meddle.”

 

“That was…”

 

I recalled what happened earlier.

 

Now that I think about it, I had run here like quite a crazy person earlier.

 

The moment I discovered Ron, Aigres, and the grave behind him, I had already grasped the situation.

 

“What?! This is crazy!”

 

When I unconsciously cursed, my eyes met Ron’s, and he seemed to have been clearly watching me come from the beginning.

 

“…I showed you something unseemly.”

 

“Haha! Unseemly? Rather, I was grateful. How many people would turn pale and come running like that?”

 

Still, the embarrassment was unavoidable.

 

Then a voice heavy with regret asked me.

 

“Do you happen to know who the owner of this grave is?”

 

Of course I knew.

 

“…Rebecca. I mean, I know it’s the grave of Rebecca Friedrick.”

 

Rebecca.

 

She was Ron’s daughter.

 

“Do you also know that this grave is nothing more than a pile of dirt without a corpse?”

 

After hesitation, I nodded. Ron continued quietly with a faint smile.

 

“Some regrets don’t disappear even with time. But some hatred is slowly forgotten along with time.”

 

“…”

 

“So hate to your heart’s content, and don’t regret it.”

 

Silver-gray eyes faded by years gazed at me kindly.

 

Somehow I felt like I might cry.

 

“You planned to do this from the beginning. I never thought I’d receive such comfort from a back alley information broker.”

 

“As a back alley information broker, I merely paid the price to someone who prayed for my daughter’s soul.”

 

“It seems like you paid too generously compared to what I did.”

 

“I included the hands that brushed away fallen leaves every time they passed by here in the price. After all, I was also a merchant, so I’m quite accurate at pricing things.”

 

However, a casually kind remark finally made me smile.

 

“…Thank you, Ron.”

 

It was the first moment when someone else’s kindness, not Azel’s, entered my heart.

 

*

 

The next morning,

 

I went to find Azel with a renewed heart.

 

“Miss, why are you in such a hurry? It’s dangerous, so please go slowly.”

 

Linoa Marigold, who was following behind me, added worriedly.

 

“It’s fine. I’m not made of glass, I won’t get hurt from this much.”

 

Linoa Marigold was unusually kind today as well, but I failed to notice this fact again.

 

I was already distracted by other things.

 

As soon as I arrived, I roughly knocked on the door in front of me.

 

“Azel! Are you inside?”

 

When I raised my voice telling him to come out quickly, attention gathered in the quiet corridor.

 

“Miss?”

 

“Are, are you trying to fight?”

 

“Gasp! I knew she would do that!”

 

I had no idea what that last human thought they knew. But what mattered now wasn’t their reactions.

 

“Azel!”

 

Thud! Thud! Thud!

 

What mattered now was Azel.

 

“Please open the door!”

 

When I kept demanding like an unreasonable customer who came early in the morning, the door finally opened.

 

However, all I was granted was a narrow gap smaller than the width of a palm.

 

“Open it properly.”

 

“What do you want.”

 

“I came because I have something to say.”

 

“Say it later. I’m not in the mood to talk with you right now.”

 

As the door was about to close, I desperately shoved my foot in first.

 

“Ugh!”

 

“Lady Elpis!”

 

“What are you doing!”

 

Immediately, screams burst from Linoa Marigold and Azel.

 

“I said I have something to say.”

 

“Are you crazy? What do you think you’re doing? What if you get hurt!”

 

Ignoring their reactions, I snapped at the door that was now half open.

 

“Yesterday you only said what you wanted to say, right? Today I’m going to say only what I want to say, so listen carefully.”

 

“…What?”

 

“I tried to hate you, but I couldn’t do it well. I liked you on my own, and I was disappointed on my own. I shouldn’t blame you for that. So I can’t bring myself to hate you.”

 

So I won’t hate you.

 

At my last words added confidently, Azel’s eyes wavered.

 

For Azel, it must have sounded absurd. This story was something Azel didn’t know about.

 

“Gasp! Did you just hear that?”

 

“What! What is it! What’s going on?”

 

“I knew it! I knew the master was in the wrong!”

 

“What did the master do wrong?”

 

“Are you clueless? Can’t you tell just by looking?”

 

While the spectators watching were making even more of a fuss, Azel was actually speechless.

 

“But I should at least make my demands.”

 

“…Demands?”

 

“I need the white flowers that bloom in the Red Forest, Boras’ Spring water, and Arachne’s Thread.”

 

Instead, he finally reacted to my sudden demand.

 

He had been frozen by my sudden confession, but finding my words absurd, he had somehow approached the door.

 

“Why do you need those things?”

 

“That day I promised you. These are things I’ll use for your sake.”

 

“…!”

 

“Originally I was going to try to obtain them step by step myself, but I changed my mind. Come with me.”

 

Originally, except for the white flowers, the other things weren’t strictly necessary. As long as the context was similar, it would work.

 

But I had changed my mind.

 

Like Ron said, I was determined not to have any regrets.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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