My Illusion Is Survival - Chapter 20

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Chapter 20

“Long ago. A very long time ago, I once traveled a long distance on horseback with someone precious to me.”

The sudden beginning of the story felt somehow subtle.

“Back then, that person held my waist with strong arms.”

Azel wasn’t curious about Elpis’s story.

No, he didn’t want to hear it.

It was close to an intuition.

However, as if mocking him frozen with a stupid expression, Elpis’s story continued.

“He was a taciturn person who never expressed things with words, but I already knew. That he was worried I might fall from the horse.”

Soon, a wistful voice continued as if recalling the distant past.

“It was around sunset then, so unlike now, the whole world was dyed orange.”

Unlike the smile on her lips, her trembling breath felt unfamiliar.

“That scenery was so beautiful that I unconsciously had a wicked thought.”

Therefore, without realizing it, Azel found himself listening to Elpis’s voice.

“…What kind?”

“I’m glad this person can’t forget.”

“…!”

“…I’m glad there’s someone who will remember this sky, the memories of this day with me forever.”

Because of this, every word that came from Elpis’s mouth became daggers piercing his heart.

“Even knowing how cruel that was for that person, I thought that way. …It was truly a wicked thought.”

The confession that followed was cruel, just as she said.

Azel had suffered his entire life, robbed of oblivion.

This was a curse, a punishment, and a deception.

Yet he couldn’t even bring himself to be angry.

“So I suppose I was punished.”

“…Ah.”

“So I suppose I forgot you.”

Just as Azel’s punishment was memory,

The punishment she received was also oblivion.

Azel fell silent at another truth he had unwillingly realized.

“Because I had such wicked thoughts, I suppose I was punished.”

Thud.

Along with warm heat, a small weight was added to his embrace.

Even though the weight of the leaning back was light, he felt strangely breathless.

“But why are these arms still so warm?”

“…!”

Delicate fingertips brushed against his arm.

He couldn’t even hold on. Couldn’t cling and plead, couldn’t resent why she had forgotten him.

“I shouldn’t be greedy. I shouldn’t hope. Why are you still so cruelly kind?”

All of those things kept making Azel breathless.

Making him constantly imagine that day from the story,

Which didn’t exist in his memories.

‘So this was why.’

Around then, Azel realized.

Elpis hadn’t orchestrated this to make Azel anxious.

It was the opposite.

She had deliberately shown him a piece of the truth so that Azel’s suspicions wouldn’t ruin her plan.

…Even knowing it would wound me.

“I’ll pass by. I won’t be greedy anymore and will quietly pass by, so please don’t ask me anything like now.”

The end of the story was a request.

An earnest plea to please not ask anything.

There were more than enough reasons to refuse that short and arrogant request. However, there was only one answer Azel could give.

“…Yes, I promise.”

Even though he kept feeling breathless, he couldn’t show it.

‘With what feelings do you stay by my side?’

Though he had come this far because he couldn’t bear Elpis saying she was his lingering attachment.

To someone who would merely pass by, he couldn’t bring himself to ask anything.

*

‘Got him.’

Throughout listening to the story, there wasn’t much change in Azel’s expression, but it was certain.

This sob story had worked perfectly.

‘Yes, Azel. When I’m being this sincere with you. Let’s overlook it just once, okay?’

Even if it was wicked, it couldn’t be helped.

I was just being equally fierce to survive.

The reason I suddenly blurted out such a story was nothing else.

‘When you have nothing to say, drowning it in narrative is the best!’

Rather than adding complex settings that required worrying about cause and effect, I chose to get through the situation with melodrama.

I wasn’t pretending to have a special relationship with Azel for no reason. Through this process, I intended to win his favor.

‘To give the impression that I would never betray him, I need at least this much of a backstory.’

A powerful will had to contain love or a love-hate relationship.

In that sense, most relationships lacked persuasiveness, and this was just the easiest and clearest.

‘Even doing this, with Azel’s personality, there won’t be any consequences.’

Moreover, Azel’s personality boosted my confidence.

No matter how much I acted up, I wouldn’t be able to crack Azel’s cold heart!

‘I must really be a genius.’

While inwardly praising myself in every way, outwardly I continued pretending to be wistful.

Whether my acting worked properly, Azel showed no signs of suspecting me.

“Thank you, Azel.”

Thanks to that, I didn’t realize.

That the waves in those rippling red eyes,

Were flowing in a completely different direction than I expected.

*

“Elpis.”

When Dariya’s Village had gotten much closer, Azel suddenly called me.

My name flowing from Azel’s lips was more satisfying than I had thought.

‘Pretty nice, isn’t it?’

Just changing the way he addressed me made it feel like we had gotten much closer.

Just as I was feeling good and answered with this joyful and happy heart, somehow there was no response.

“Azel? What’s wrong?”

Only then did I realize that Azel wasn’t looking at me.

‘What is it?’

The puzzlement was brief.

“Mary?”

It wasn’t just Azel who was acting strange.

Mary, who was riding on the back of another Aigres, also had a somehow serious expression on her face.

“Why are you both acting like-“

“Shh, be quiet.”

Now with a completely hardened expression, she cut off my words.

It was around then that I felt an ominous premonition.

-Grrrrrr!

-Gruk! Grrrruk!

Just then, the Aigres also began growling as if they had realized something.

When the two creatures stopped in place one after another, the atmosphere quickly grew heavy.

“Why, why are they doing that?”

Dariya asked me with an anxious face, but I had no proper answer. I also didn’t know why they were acting this way.

‘Why are they suddenly like this?’

But right at that moment,

Thud!

“Uh, uhh, aaaaah!”

“Dariya! Mary!”

Taking advantage of our moment of carelessness, one of the Aigres leaped forward.

The creature was carrying Mary and the Dariya father and son, and Mary, whose shoulder was injured from the earlier fight, couldn’t control it.

Thanks to that, the situation was smoothly heading toward the worst possible outcome.

“Mary! No!”

Mary, who had lost her balance, swayed as if she would fall from the Aigres’ back.

“Sis, sister!”

“Grab, grab her! Dariya, hold on tight!”

“Ugh!”

Fortunately, Dariya and the old man grabbed Mary’s clothes and prevented her from falling, but now the three of them were barely hanging onto the creature’s back.

“Azel!”

Even until then, Azel was still staring at the same spot.

‘What the hell are you looking at in this situation?!’

His eyes were directed toward a ‘dot’ that was rapidly approaching.

‘Wait. A dot?’

Rumble rumble rumble-

No, that wasn’t a ‘dot.’

What was approaching at high speed was a group of people.

‘Don’t tell me…?’

And sure enough,

Whoosh- Thwack!

‘Damn it!’

The ominous feeling soon became reality.

An arrow had flown from somewhere.

They were carrying weapons.

“Aaaaah!”

“No!”

Soon what appeared to be a hunting arrow cut through the wind and stuck into the ground.

This was the beginning.

Whiiiiish!

Swoosh! Thwack!

“Uh, uaaaaaaah!”

The boy screamed in shock at the majesty of the arrow that grazed over his head, but the rain of arrows didn’t stop.

Meanwhile, the Aigres, even more excited by the pouring barrage of attacks, began to rampage in earnest.

-Kraaaaaaang!

“Azel!”

At this scene where disaster could strike at any moment, I once again called for Azel.

“Don’t move and wait here.”

Contrary to his blunt voice, Azel’s figure immediately disappeared.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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