In This Life, I Will Be The Lord - Chapter 181

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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This Life, I Will Become the Clan Head Episode 181

Late at night when the moon hung large in the sky.

It was a strange night where sleep wouldn’t come.

I sat in my bedroom with a small light on, reading a book.

But the book’s contents weren’t registering in my eyes.

Though I had opened the book long ago, I was still stuck on the same page.

“What’s the point of reading in this mood.”

I closed the book and tossed it aside.

I knew all too well why my mood was scraping rock bottom right now.

“Why do you keep making that expression.”

At times like this, I resented the fact that I could read that guy’s emotions so well from his usually expressionless face.

Before Kaitlin came in, when we had gotten close as if we were about to kiss.

On Peres’s face, there was another emotion that preceded any excitement about what might follow.

Anxiety.

Even with me lying right in front of him, he looked anxious as if he might lose me.

“I’ll escort you back.”

“The guests are waiting, Peres. See you later.”

And when I refused and turned away.

Peres was afraid.

So much so that I couldn’t pretend not to notice even if I tried.

“Sigh.”

My sigh grew heavy.

Along with irritation.

“Why is my heart pounding like this.”

I was angry enough at my heart for reacting every time I thought of Peres.

That’s when it happened.

Knock knock.

A low knocking sound echoed through the quiet house.

There was no voice announcing who it was.

But I could immediately tell who was standing outside the door.

Thump thump.

My heart, which had seemed to calm down a bit, started beating loudly again.

I opened the door.

“Hello, Peres.”

Standing there casting a long shadow in the corridor’s light was Peres.

“…Are you okay?”

Peres didn’t come in but immediately examined my face and asked.

That brief gaze made my heart feel strange again.

“It’s cold at night, come in and let’s talk.”

When I said that, Peres quickly stepped inside and closed the door.

I had said it thinking of him having ridden through the night.

But Peres seemed to have taken it as me being cold.

I sat side by side with Peres and prepared tea.

Just like I always did whenever he visited.

Amid the clinking sounds of preparing teacups and the teapot, Peres spoke.

“Sorry for coming so suddenly, Tia.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

I deliberately smiled brightly.

But the smile didn’t last long.

“Kaitlin said you didn’t look well.”

Our Kaitlin really has good observation skills.

After running into me this afternoon, she must have returned to the Imperial Palace and immediately told Peres.

“Really? I’m fine though. I wonder why Kaitlin said that.”

But the moment I said those words, the heavy teapot slipped from my hands.

“Ah!”

It wasn’t dangerous.

The teacup just fell over and the hot water nearly spilled onto my dress.

But that didn’t happen.

Because his hand caught and wrapped around the falling teacup.

Of course, the hot tea had already spilled all over Peres’s hand.

“Peres!”

The night air was chilly, so the water was heated hotter than usual.

“You really-!”

Even if I had left it alone, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

I was wearing a thick robe over my nightgown, so it would have just dampened the hem a little.

But why.

I quickly took the teacup from Peres’s hand and brought a towel to wipe away the water.

And I shouted at Peres.

“Why are you being so reckless! What if you get seriously hurt doing that!”

“It’s better than you getting hurt.”

“Peres, you…”

I was speechless.

No matter how calloused his hands were from handling swords, he must surely feel pain.

But there was no sign of such pain on Peres’s face.

His eyes were looking only at me.

Even now, I could tell he was carefully observing how angry I was at him.

I lowered my head slightly so Peres couldn’t see my face and wiped his hand even more thoroughly.

In the meantime, his skin had turned even redder.

“It looks like it hurts.”

“Not really.”

Peres answered like that while looking at the hem of my robe.

He was checking to see if the hot water had splashed there too.

I felt a surge of emotion.

“This is going to sting terribly for a while.”

“It’s fine.”

“You might get blisters.”

“It’s fine.”

“You might even get scars.”

“…It’s fine, Tia.”

“What do you mean it’s fine!”

I ended up raising my voice.

I could feel Peres’s red eyes staring intently at me.

“Peres, why are you… Why do you keep…!”

The words wouldn’t come out properly.

All sorts of emotions and thoughts seemed to be tangled up in my chest.

I was afraid strange words might slip out, so I kept my mouth tightly shut and sat there.

Without even realizing that my hand was gripping Peres’s hand tightly.

Then Peres stroked my hair that had fallen down with his uninjured hand.

It was a tender touch that somehow made my heart feel heavy.

“I love you, Tia.”

Peres said.

“You are the most precious to me. So, don’t cry.”

Only then did I realize.

The fact that I was crying.

Drip.

I felt a single tear rolling down my right cheek.

Peres looked at me with somewhat pained eyes, then carefully wiped away my tears with his finger.

“Don’t cry.”

But Peres’s words were of no use.

The teardrops kept flowing down.

“Peres.”

“Yeah?”

“Why…? Why do you love me?”

Wrinkles formed between Peres’s brows.

And he answered.

“You gave me the world.”

I felt his large hand gently cupping my right cheek.

“You told me I had to live.”

Peres’s eyes smiled.

Somehow, the image of that young boy overlapped with his current appearance.

That small figure who had looked at me with blue grass stains around his mouth.

“So from that day on, I.”

Peres kissed my forehead.

And carefully rubbed his forehead against mine.

“I lived for you, Tia.”

Peres’s nose touched the tip of mine with a soft tap.

“I couldn’t help but love you.”

“You… love me?”

My questioning voice was trembling, wet with moisture.

“From the very first moment we met.”

Laughter seeped into his voice.

“You were my world…”

I pressed my lips against Peres’s lips.

The salty taste of my flowing tears seeped between them, but I didn’t care.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him as close as I could, bringing my lips to his.

Along with Peres’s intoxicating scent, I could feel my lips letting out breath and my fingertips gripping his shirt trembling finely.

And Peres’s large hand covered mine.

He held that trembling hand.

“Hah.”

A small breath finally burst from my mouth as my heart pounded as if I had been running.

And as if that was a signal, Peres began to move.

The hand that had been wrapped in a towel was now freely released, slipping between my neck and hair.

His firm fingers caressed the line of my jaw and my earlobes.

Each time, it felt like sparks were flying inside me.

Every time Peres’s lips eagerly pushed between mine.

“Mmh!”

Every time our tongues touched.

Like striking flint.

Before I knew it, I had my arms wrapped around Peres’s neck.

Our bodies were touching without even an inch of space between us.

“Tia.”

The sparks kept growing larger with each breath as Peres called my name in a low voice.

The hand that traveled down my waist would grip me fiercely then immediately release its strength.

Even that hesitation, as if afraid I might break.

Even that thirst that would pull away when I became breathless, only to return hungrily again.

Everything was conveyed to me completely.

“Hah, hah…”

When I struggled for breath, Peres pulled his lips away.

Even so, his rough fingers kept rubbing my lips.

When I slightly opened my eyes, I met red eyes that were looking only at me as if enchanted.

There was only me in those eyes.

Only an intense gaze that seemed to burn up my heated appearance.

But for a moment, his eyes wavered.

“Peres?”

“…Why?”

Peres asked me in a low, rough voice.

“Why are you sad?”

And he looked at my tears that had started flowing again.

I was the one crying.

Yet somehow Peres seemed to be suffering even more.

I gently stroked his cheek as Peres had done for me and said.

“I’m going to become the clan head, Peres.”

“I know.”

“And you have to ascend to the throne.”

“…I suppose so.”

“When we can see our end like this, how could I not be sad?”

When my heart is trembling like this.

When it’s saying I want to be with you.

Even knowing it’s impossible, I wish you would give up everything for me.

I want to pour out such selfish desires.

I kissed Peres’s lips once more.

Different from before.

It was a careful kiss.

“Tia.”

He must have felt it too, as he looked into my eyes.

“Imperial law doesn’t prevent a second son from becoming emperor. It’s just that there’s no precedent, and it doesn’t prevent a woman from becoming clan head either.”

I spoke in as calm a voice as possible.

“But a clan head cannot become an empress.”

More precisely, the moment she becomes empress, that woman loses all inheritance rights.

As if being completely absorbed as an existence of the imperial family.

The name of her birth family can only leave traces as a middle name.

I brought my forehead to Peres’s and said.

“I will choose the family again and again, Peres. I will choose Lombardy.”

I didn’t want to lie to him.

I could see Peres’s long eyelashes trembling.

“I’m sorry.”

I said with sincerity.

“But….”

“Stop.”

Peres likewise kissed me as he spoke.

“Don’t be sad anymore, Tia.”

Warm hands came to me as if cherishing me preciously.

“If it’s because of something like that, you don’t need to be sad.”

“What… do you mean by that?”

Peres looked at me quietly.

“A world where I can’t be with you has no meaning to me.”

Peres’s voice was low.

“So I’m thinking of changing the world. That’s why you don’t need to worry, Tia.”

Having said that, he rubbed his face against my neck and the hair that flowed down.

“Don’t be sad.”

A fragrance like red roses approached as if to swallow me.

“When you’re sad, it feels like someone is cutting my heart with a knife.”

Peres said while hugging me tightly.

“So don’t be sad, Tia.”

That’s why I couldn’t see that his red eyes held a cruel light.

* * *

The day of the Lombardi Scholarship.

As always on scholarship days, the estate was bustling with activity.

Looking out the window, I could see more people arriving than usual, despite it being held earlier than scheduled.

As I leaned against the windowsill and looked down at the scene for a moment, I heard a knock.

“Come in.”

With my permission, the door opened quietly.

“Lady Pirenthia.”

“Welcome, Kaitlin.”

Kaitlin, who entered the room first, stepped aside, revealing the person standing behind her.

Even as I looked at her, I greeted her warmly.

“Welcome to the Lombardi Estate, Miss Ramona.”

Ramona, beautiful with her red hair and blue eyes, was clearly nervous.

“No, I should call you properly now.”

I approached and extended one hand for a handshake while smiling brightly.

“Welcome, Lady Ramona Brown.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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