I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 42

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#42

“…An early rainy season has come to the Williot Estate.”

It might sound like a rather random story, but I had to start with this to explain what had happened.

Starting with how I was stranded in the estate due to the early rainy season.

To make matters worse, the riverbank collapsed, causing a great flood.

All carriages except Duke Williot’s were deployed to rescue the estate’s people.

As a result, all the carriages were destroyed, leaving us without any carriage to ride.

…I shouldn’t mention that Fillen refused to lend me Duke Williot’s carriage, the only one remaining.

It wasn’t because I was thinking of Fillen, but because of my own dignity.

I didn’t want to let others know that I was a fiancée ignored by her fiancé.

“…So while I was troubled by this situation, a merchant caravan fortunately passed by, and I was able to ride in a cargo carriage to reach the capital.”

“Not just any carriage, but a cargo carriage?”

Kalian asked back as if he found it absurd.

Of course he would. For a noble princess to ride not even a regular carriage, but a cargo carriage. Even I found it ridiculous.

That’s why when we stopped at a village along the way, I had considered renting a proper carriage.

However, finding a carriage for long-distance travel was not only expensive but also time-consuming, so I just relied on the merchant carriage to get here.

Thanks to that, I was in a complete mess.

“If you were going to ride a cargo carriage, you might as well have just ridden a horse.”

“…I’m ashamed to say, but I don’t know how to ride.”

“Why not? Didn’t you learn it as a basic accomplishment when you were young?”

There was no way Countess Tebesa would have taught me such things.

She didn’t even provide a tutor for reading, so I barely learned by self-studying from books my half-siblings had left behind.

“Somehow I missed the opportunity to learn.”

This was also something that would only hurt me if others knew, so I deflected with vague words.

It would have been troublesome if he had persistently questioned me, but fortunately Kalian didn’t do that.

“You did quite well on the exam.”

Kalian said in an indifferent tone while picking up his teacup.

“You came in first place.”

“Pardon?”

I… came in first place?

“That can’t be right. There must be some mistake…”

“A mistake. Are you saying that seven scholars, Ber, and my eyes were all wrong, Princess?”

My mouth automatically closed.

I still couldn’t believe that I had come in first place, but when he said it like that, I couldn’t ask if there might be a mistake.

“There’s no mistake. It’s certain that you came in first place, Princess.”

Kalian definitively put an end to my doubts.

“Therefore, you have been selected as my aide.”

What did he just say…

I, I was selected as an aide?

My head went blank at this fact that was even more unbelievable than coming in first place on the exam.

Could this possibly be a dream?

I worried that when I came to my senses again, everything would disappear.

“Congratulations, Princess Tebesa.”

The indifferent congratulations made me face reality.

Only then did I come to my senses and cover my mouth with my hand.

I really became the Emperor’s aide.

Becoming a government official had been my dream career since I was very young.

But I had given up because of the unwritten custom that women couldn’t become officials, and now it was coming true like this.

My heart swelled and my eyes grew hot. My mind floated as if I were walking on clouds.

“Th-thank you…”

I needed to quickly respond with gratitude, but the words wouldn’t come out.

Like a fool, I could only repeat the word “thank.” I stammered while barely holding back tears that were about to pour out.

Such a response from me should have been frustrating, but Kalian said nothing.

He just silently drank his tea and waited until I could properly say my thanks.

* * *

Things I had momentarily forgotten in my overwhelming joy began to come back to me one by one.

The image of Fillen angrily asking what I would do about the duchess’s duties if I became an official flickered before my eyes.

“When can you start work?”

So I couldn’t say anything to Kalian’s question and just fidgeted with my teacup.

Would Fillen really allow me to work as an aide?

If he doesn’t allow it, what should I do?

Should I… refuse?

“No answer.”

Oh no, to ignore the Emperor’s question.

“I apologize. I had something to think about for a moment…”

“You did have that expression.”

Kalian propped his chin and leaned his upper body slightly toward me.

“So, what’s your answer?”

“…I think I need to return to the Williot Estate first.”

“Of course. You need to pack your things.”

“That’s part of it, but… I need to ask Duke Williot if it’s alright for me to take the aide position.”

“Why?”

Kalian tilted his head slightly as if puzzled.

“It’s your matter, so why aren’t you deciding for yourself and asking Duke Williot instead?”

“Well, because I’m the Duke’s fiancée.”

“So?”

So? I thought that was a sufficient answer, but his questioning back made me flustered.

“Does Duke Williot also ask you or get permission when he does something?”

I shook my head.

Far from asking permission, Fillen always acted as he pleased, and the aftermath was entirely my responsibility.

“Why doesn’t he ask? Duke Williot is your fiancé, isn’t he?”

That’s right, why didn’t he ask for my permission?

Because he’s a duke?

Of course that might be part of the reason, but I couldn’t say that was definitely it.

The previous Duke Williot always asked the duchess before doing anything.

When I looked at that with curiosity, the previous duke laughed heartily and patted my head, saying that if you care for your wife, this is what you should do.

Consideration, I see. This was consideration, not obligation.

Fillen didn’t consider me as much as I considered him.

…Why am I only realizing this now?

No, I already knew this but had been avoiding this fact all along.

Because if I realized that fact too, I would become too miserable.

Because I would become too pathetic for not being able to let go of the duchess position despite being treated like this.

“You’re lost in thought again.”

“I apologize.”

Constantly thinking of other things in front of the Emperor was disrespectful behavior.

“I’ll be careful from now on.”

“Does that mean you and I will have occasion to meet again in the future?”

I was about to naturally answer yes, but I closed my mouth.

Because I realized that when he said we’d see each other again, he meant not as the Duchess Williot and the Emperor, but as the Emperor’s advisor and the Emperor.

When I remained silent and only stared at my teacup, Kalian smiled brightly and picked up his teacup.

“Since you said you need to visit the Williot Estate, I should give you plenty of time. Would a month be sufficient?”

“That’s sufficient. Thank you for your consideration, Your Majesty.”

“You’re someone who will help me with my work from now on, so this much is nothing.”

Kalian took a sip of tea, set down his teacup, and looked at me.

“Whatever choice the Princess makes, I’ll accept it, but there’s one thing I’d like you to know.”

His blue eyes sparkled mischievously.

“That I very much need the Princess’s help.”

If the Emperor needed help, as a noble, I should rightfully assist him.

“If that’s the case…”

“Ah, I’m not forcing you.”

Kalian smiled and raised both hands to chest level.

“I’m just saying that. The Princess should do whatever the Princess wants to do.”

“…”

“Still, I hope to meet the Princess again with good news after a month.”

His gaze had already moved down to the teacup that had lost its warmth.

“I’ll be waiting for the Princess anytime.”

His words about waiting echoed in my ears like an echo.

* * *

Kalian graciously let me spend the night at the Imperial Palace and even lent me a carriage.

I should thank him later for his help. I should give him a gift of gratitude too.

What would be good to give him? Jewelry? Clothes? Or maybe…

“…Strawberry candy?”

To think of strawberry candy as a gift.

The strawberry candy he gave me before must have made quite an impression.

Actually, I didn’t need to worry about this because I already knew what Kalian wanted most.

For me to accept the advisor position.

Kalian said he wasn’t forcing me, but it still felt burdensome. It made me think a lot too.

If he had just forced me to accept the advisor position, I would have accepted it with peace of mind.

No. He thoughtfully gave me a chance to choose, so I shouldn’t think like this.

“…It’s difficult.”

I let out a deep sigh and looked at the scenery outside the window.

The scenery was becoming increasingly familiar. It meant the Williot Estate was getting closer.

It also meant the time to meet Fillen was approaching.

Thinking about seeing Fillen made my head throb.

He must have already heard the news that I passed the management exam.

I wondered what kind of reaction Fillen would show when he saw me.

I hoped he wouldn’t be too angry, but… that would be impossible.

Thinking about my relationship with Fillen, I should refuse the advisor position.

But thinking about my dreams, I wanted to accept it.

…Catching two rabbits at the same time would be too much.

What on earth should I do?

My worries didn’t resolve and kept growing like a snowball, becoming uncontrollably huge by the time I arrived at the Williot Estate.

When I finally arrived at the Williot Duchy, my face had turned ashen.

The Imperial Palace knight and coachman who brought me here asked if something was wrong.

I forced a smile and said I was fine before entering the duchy mansion.

“Miss!”

“You’ve returned, Miss!”

Sara and Misa came out to greet me with bright smiles. I could see other servants too.

I had only not seen them for about ten days, but it felt as welcome as if I hadn’t seen them for a year.

“It’s been a while. Nothing happened while I was away, right?”

“Of course not! You must have seen on your way here, but the estate restoration is going smoothly too!”

Was that so? My mind was full of other thoughts, so I hadn’t paid attention to that.

“But Miss.”

Sara looked at me with sparkling eyes.

“I heard you passed the exam? And as the top scorer too!”

As expected, that news had spread here too.

“As expected of you, Miss! Amazing!”

“It just happened. I was lucky.”

“Does luck make you the top scorer? You got it because you’re smart, Miss!”

Sara gave me a thumbs up, saying it was wonderful. The other servants also made a fuss praising me.

I hadn’t done anything that great, but receiving praise from so many people made me embarrassed.

“Stop it. It’s not that big a deal.”

“Right, it’s not a big deal.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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