I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 36

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#36

Having unexpectedly stayed at the manor longer, I had finished reading all the books I brought with me.

Countess Tebesa, who said she would come early in the morning, hadn’t arrived even though the sun was high in the sky.

Getting tired of waiting and feeling somewhat bored, I headed to the study to find a book to read while waiting for Countess Tebesa.

After the Previous Duke and Duchess passed away, I was the only one who used the duchy mansion’s study.

Though Fillen, the real owner, had returned, he didn’t even come near the study.

He seemed to have gone to the study at the capital mansion, but that was only once. He never visited after that.

So I opened the study door without much thought, only to pause when I discovered a tall, long silhouette standing in front of the bookshelf.

“Fillen?”

Only then noticing that I had come, Fillen looked back at me with slight surprise.

“What are you doing here?”

“What brings you to the study, of all places?”

“I was looking at documents and found something strange, so I came to research it.”

I glanced at the book Fillen was holding. The thick book’s cover had the title ‘Understanding Welfare’ written in large letters.

Fillen Williot and books – it was an ill-matched combination. It felt even more awkward since I had rarely seen him holding a book.

“Now it’s your turn to answer, isn’t it?”

“I got bored waiting for the Countess, so I came to get a book to read in the meantime.”

Fillen silently stepped aside from in front of the bookshelf.

I nodded my thanks to him, then scanned through the books.

Since I had read almost all the books in the study, finding an unread book was more difficult.

I finally found a book I hadn’t read, but unfortunately it was in a high place I couldn’t reach.

As I was looking around for something to stand on, an arm stretched out and pulled down the book I had spotted.

“Is this the right one?”

“Oh, yes. Thank you.”

I reached out my hand to receive the book, feeling somewhat reluctant.

However, Fillen didn’t give me the book he had taken out, but stared at it intently.

“Philosophy of Essays. It seems like a difficult book to consider just for passing time.”

“Is it? I wouldn’t really know.”

“Come to think of it, you brought a bunch of similar books.”

Fillen asked in a tone as if something had just occurred to him.

“What happened to all those books that you’re looking for new ones?”

“I finished reading them all.”

“All of those many books?”

“Many? There were only four books.”

If it had been before when I was swamped with work, I wouldn’t have been able to finish even one book, but not these days.

I had time left over even after thoroughly reading all four books.

“You’re going to become a duchess now, so how about reading books about social circles instead of books like this?”

“Of course I’ll read those. But the management exam comes first, so I’ll read for that first.”

Fillen’s brow furrowed.

“Taking the management exam – you still haven’t given up on that?”

“There’s no way I’d give up on something I even had notarized.”

“Do you hate apologizing to Sisly for being wrong that much?”

“If you were in my position, would you want to apologize when you did nothing wrong?”

When I shot back sharply, Fillen shook his head from side to side.

“Your pride is uselessly high.”

“That’s how the Dowager Duchess taught me.”

A lady must always have high pride.

Where you must not bow, you must never bow even if a blade comes to your throat.

Maintain the dignity of a duchess.

These were things the previous Duchess Williot used to tell me like a habit when she was alive.

“I’m just faithfully carrying that out – is there a problem with that?”

Fillen couldn’t say anything and closed his mouth.

Well, if he said there was a problem, it would mean his mother’s teachings were wrong, so there was no way he could speak.

“So, what will you do?”

“About what?”

“About the management exam. If you pass, what will you do then?”

He said I would absolutely never pass, but he was having such thoughts too.

I was a little surprised.

“What do you mean what will I do? Of course I’ll do it.”

“Then who will do the duchess’s work?”

“Of course I’ll do that too.”

“Huh?”

Fillen tilted his head as if dumbfounded, letting out an exasperated breath.

“You’ll do two jobs at the same time? Do you think that’s possible?”

“I did the duchess’s work while also doing the duke’s work, so why do you think it’s impossible?”

“That was possible because it was all work for the same domain, but management work isn’t.”

Fillen let out a deep sigh as if frustrated.

“Moreover, it’s being the Emperor’s aide. The workload will be quite heavy – do you think you can handle the duchess’s work while doing that?”

Hmm, now that I hear it, that’s true.

Then what should I do?

It was premature to be thinking about this when I hadn’t even passed the exam yet, but it was certainly worth considering.

“Should I also hire an aide?”

“What aide for just doing a duchess’s work?”

Fillen laughed mockingly with a sneer.

I almost snapped at him in my surge of anger, but I forced myself to hold it down.

Though not as much as a duke’s work, a duchess’s work was also quite substantial. It wasn’t something for him to dismiss like this.

He should know since he’s done the duchess’s work too, so I don’t understand why he’s saying such things.

“The previous Duke Williot also hired aides to look after the domain while doing the knight commander’s work. What’s stopping me from doing the same?”

“Father was a duke, and you’re going to be a duchess. It doesn’t make sense to think of them the same way.”

Fillen answered as if asking why I was questioning something so obvious.

“I think you’re misunderstanding something – what you need to do is support me, take care of the household, and bear and raise children, just like Mother did.”

“…”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t forget that fact.”

It was all correct reasoning.

The previous Duchess Williot had told me the same thing, and I too had thought it natural.

But then why?

Why now did I feel annoyed and upset rather than thinking it was natural?

Even knowing I had no grounds to refute his words, I wanted to argue back. I didn’t want to accept it.

But unable to find the right words, I ended up closing my mouth without saying anything.

Fillen looked at me like that and smiled triumphantly.

I don’t know if I should think this, but… he was annoying.

To put it crudely, he had the kind of expression that made me want to hit him.

It was regrettable that I couldn’t.

A subtle silence flowed between Fillen and me.

It was the kind of silence that wasn’t heavy but wasn’t light either.

Still, feeling awkward and about to say something, I heard a knock.

“Come in.”

It was Misa who opened the door and entered. Misa politely greeted us, then stated the reason for her visit.

“Countess Tebesa has arrived.”

Finally, she came. It would have been quite awkward if I had continued talking with him, so this was fortunate.

This was the second time in my life I was glad for Countess Tebesa’s presence.

“Book, give it here.”

I would need a book to read even after Countess Tebesa left, so I extended my hand to Fillen again.

Fillen looked back and forth between me and the book, then shoved it into a spot even higher than where he had taken it from.

What the…

When I looked at him with bewildered eyes, Fillen smiled mischievously.

“Why are you looking at me with those eyes, Princess Tebesa.”

Was he really asking because he didn’t know?

“Countess Tebesa is waiting. Don’t dawdle here and let’s go quickly.”

Fillen wrapped his arm around my shoulder affectionately and walked away.

I thought he was pretending to be affectionate because there were eyes watching, but that wasn’t it.

I could tell from his mischievously sparkling eyes.

After all, they say the eyes are the windows to the soul.

I didn’t know why, but Fillen looked extremely pleased.

* * *

The reason Countess Tebesa was late was because the carriage wheel had come off.

“Oh my. I’ll lend you the manor’s carriage for your return trip.”

“Thank you for your kindness, Your Grace.”

“She’s going to be my wife’s mother, so this much is only natural.”

Though it was a superficial remark, Countess Tebesa seemed pleased and smiled contentedly.

I immediately discussed wedding preparations with Countess Tebesa.

I would be leaving for the capital soon, and if I stayed to hear the results after the exam ended, I would be in the capital for at least three weeks, so I wanted to get things done before leaving.

When I hurried through this, Countess Tebesa laughed out loud.

“You’ve finally come to your senses too!”

“Don’t say strange things and please look at the dress quickly.”

“Yes, yes. We need to get the dress fitted.”

Countess Tebesa nodded with a proud expression.

“They say everyone has their own usefulness, and those words are exactly right. The day you’ll be helpful to our family has finally come!”

Delusions are free, but that seems to be at a pathological level.

I was about to answer definitively that it would absolutely never happen, but I said nothing.

Because I didn’t want to give her such honest advice.

I just desperately wanted to finish quickly and return to my room.

After discussing wedding preparations with the countess for two full days, things were roughly organized.

What couldn’t be finished could be done after returning from the capital, and the rest were things Countess Tebesa could handle herself.

If worst came to worst, she could send me a Jeonseogoo or ask through magical communication.

Anyway, this was the end of what I needed to do right now.

“Sara, we’re going to the capital tomorrow.”

“I’ve already finished preparing!”

Sara answered energetically.

I patted Sara’s head as a sign of approval, then sat on the sofa and opened a book.

Though I had already read this book thoroughly, it was interesting, and since I had nothing else to do, I planned to read until bedtime.

Sara, who was tidying up the surroundings, suddenly spoke as if something had occurred to her.

“Miss, do you happen to like candy?”

“Candy? Why all of a sudden?”

“I made candy with the kitchen ladies during the day.”

Sara took out a small glass box from her pocket and showed it to me.

Inside were colorful candies. They looked quite appetizing.

“Would you like to try some?”

I wasn’t particularly fond of sweet things, but one wouldn’t hurt.

“I’ll enjoy it.”

I picked up a red candy and ate it. A refreshing and sweet strawberry fragrance spread richly in my mouth.

Eating the strawberry candy suddenly reminded me of the strawberry candy Kalian had given me.

That strawberry candy was really delicious.

“It’s delicious, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s good.”

“Would you like to try another kind?”

I shook my head. I wanted to savor the strawberry fragrance that had spread in my mouth for a long time.

After reading for a while, I lay down on the bed.

Though it was still early to sleep, I decided to rest since I had to leave early tomorrow.

Pitch-black darkness descended like a sanctuary. When I closed my eyelids, the darkness deepened.

Soon drowsiness overwhelmed me and my consciousness was sucked into a deep and comfortable abyss.

“…!”

I had been deeply asleep, unaware of time passing, when suddenly a loud crash startled me awake.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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