I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 3

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#3

“Then I’ll see you at dinner. I’m tired right now and want to rest a bit.”

Fillen patted my shoulder and entered the manor.

I stood there blankly even after Fillen had disappeared.

“Miss.”

A maid cautiously asked while watching my expression.

“Are you alright?”

“…What would change if I said I wasn’t alright?”

“Miss.”

“I was just saying. I’m fine.”

I let out a small scoff and pulled out the pin that was holding my hair.

I felt ridiculous for having dressed up prettily to look good for my fiancé who had brought another woman.

“I’m fine, so don’t worry about it.”

“But…”

“More importantly, let’s hurry and clean up. We need to prepare dinner too.”

In truth, I didn’t want to do anything.

I wanted to throw everything aside, go to my room, and vent my frustration, but my position didn’t allow for that.

Because my ambiguous position as Fillen Williot’s fiancée and prospective duchess held me back and wouldn’t let me go, I had to swallow my bitter emotions and force myself to move.

* * *

Misa, who had guided the woman to that room, subtly asked me which maid would be good to assign to her.

After thinking it over, I ordered Misa to personally attend to her.

It was called attending, but it was nothing short of surveillance.

Surveillance to prevent that woman from doing anything foolish.

There was nothing important in the current duchess’s room, but one never knew.

“If you see even the slightest suspicious sign, don’t hesitate to come and report to me.”

“Yes, Miss.”

Misa nodded solemnly like an elite soldier who had received a very important mission and left.

When afternoon came, the weather turned cloudy. The sky was filled with pitch-black storm clouds as if it would rain at any moment.

When I could smell the rain through the open window, I closed it.

Because the previous Duke and Duchess had passed away on a stormy night, my mood would sink low whenever it rained.

On nights when thunder and lightning roared loudly, I couldn’t sleep and would hide under my blankets, trembling.

Sometimes I would cry like a child.

Only Misa knew this fact.

It was an embarrassing sight to show the servants, so I kept it thoroughly hidden.

Oh, Fillen knows too. Though I’m not sure if he still remembers…

I was certain he had completely forgotten.

After closing the window and returning to my seat, I began examining the documents I hadn’t been able to look at while going to meet Fillen.

Even the duchess’s work alone wasn’t enough for a day, but since I was also performing the duke’s duties by proxy, I was truly busy without a moment to spare.

At least the capable assistants helped me well, so I was able to make it this far safely.

I carefully reviewed the documents and then stamped Duke Williot’s seal at the bottom.

It had already been nine years since the Williot Duchy’s seal, which should have been in the duke’s office, came to my office.

Even those who initially disapproved of me doing the work in his place came to take it for granted as time passed.

Yet if I made even one mistake, they would look at me with eyes that said “as expected” and criticize me.

Some would click their tongues and point fingers at me.

So there absolutely could not be any mistakes. Not everything could be perfect, but I had to do my best to make it so.

By the time I finished stamping after checking that there wasn’t a single error, even down to the periods, it was almost dinner time.

Given what had happened in the morning, I didn’t want to face Fillen and eat with him, but I had no choice.

It wasn’t just any other day—it was his first day back in the domain after finishing a long war.

We hadn’t even been able to eat lunch together, so it was proper etiquette to at least have dinner together, so I pulled the bell cord to call a servant.

“Did you call for me, Miss?”

Not long after, a maid entered and bowed in greeting.

Without looking at the maid, I organized my desk and asked.

“How are the dinner preparations coming along?”

“Well…”

At my question, the maid couldn’t answer immediately and hesitated before finally closing her mouth.

At the maid’s unusual reaction, I stopped what I was doing and looked at her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well… the master said he would have dinner in his room tonight.”

“In his room instead of the dining hall?”

“Yes. He said he was tired and didn’t want to come out to the dining hall…”

Thud—

The sound of the drawer closing rang out unusually loud.

The maid pulled her neck in like a turtle and apologized.

“I’m sorry.”

“This isn’t something for you to apologize for.”

Right, this wasn’t the maid’s fault. She had simply conveyed Fillen’s words to me.

Unless there were special circumstances, it was proper etiquette to dine with family on the first day back at the manor after being away.

‘Family.’

Come to think of it, was I really Fillen’s family?

At the sudden thought, I concluded that I wasn’t.

That was because I wasn’t registered in the Williot Duchy’s family records.

The previous Duke and Duchess said they thought of me like their own daughter, but that was literally just ‘thinking’—it wasn’t real.

Though I had stayed at the Williot Duchy for over ten years and worked for the duchy, I was still an outsider.

So I couldn’t mention etiquette and ask Fillen to dine together.

If he said he didn’t want to, I just had to accept it.

Even if it made me feel bad.

‘There’s no reason to feel bad.’

I too felt awkward about eating while facing him.

So I should be happy about it instead, yet my heart ached.

I pressed gently on my left chest where my heart was.

“Miss, are you hurt somewhere?”

“No, I’m fine.”

If we weren’t having dinner together, I could take off these clothes.

And remove this stuffy makeup too.

That fact made my depressed mood feel a little better.

I headed to my room to change clothes.

My room was the third largest room in this manor.

The largest room was undoubtedly the duke’s room.

The second largest was the duchess’s room, and the third largest was my room.

People around me said I should just use it since I would become the duchess anyway, but I didn’t.

I kept refusing because I wanted to enter the duchess’s room only after officially becoming the duchess.

But if I had known something like this would happen, I would have just moved in.

I regretted it, but it was in the past.

Regretting it now wouldn’t change anything.

“Bring that over here!”

“Hey! What about this?”

The usually quiet hallway was bustling today.

It was all because Fillen, the master of the manor, had returned.

“Good afternoon, Miss.”

“Hello, Miss.”

Even in their busy state, they would stop what they were doing and bow politely when I passed by.

Not wanting to disturb them unnecessarily, I quickened my pace.

“Wait.”

As soon as I stopped again, I called out to the maids who were carrying food trays.

“Where are you taking that?”

“This is food going to the master’s room, Miss.”

I could have figured that out without asking.

There was no way the manor’s servants would be eating such luxurious food.

The problem was that they had prepared not one set of tableware, but two sets.

The amount of food was also quite a lot for one person to eat alone.

There was no way Fillen would have asked them to prepare two sets just so he could eat it all by himself.

And it wasn’t like he would invite me to his room to eat together…

“…Is that woman also in Fillen’s room?”

At my words, the maid nodded with a troubled expression.

“Ha.”

I let out an empty laugh and ran my hand through my hair.

He said the reason for eating in his room was because he was tired, but it seems it was actually to eat with that woman.

If they ate in the dining room, he’d have to worry about my reaction.

‘Fillen worrying about my reaction?’

What nonsense.

Everyone around, even the previous Duke and Duchess, had clicked their tongues calling him tactless.

The same person who just earlier couldn’t figure out at all why I was angry would never eat in his room out of concern for my feelings.

‘Is this that woman’s doing?’

Did she perhaps suggest to Fillen that they eat together in his room since he might feel awkward around me?

I was curious, but it was something I couldn’t confirm.

I couldn’t ask Fillen or that woman, and of course I couldn’t ask the maids who had been with them either.

Not content with using the Duchess’s room, on the very day of his return, she’s eating with Fillen.

Anyone would think she was Fillen’s fiancée, not me.

Not even a full day had passed, and already the woman’s behavior was starting to get on my nerves.

Fillen’s behavior was the same.

I wondered how much more of their behavior I could tolerate going forward.

However, the reality that not tolerating it wouldn’t change much made me even sadder.

As I stood there staring at the food tray, the maid fidgeted and carefully spoke up.

“We need to go before the food gets cold, Miss.”

“…Right. Go ahead then.”

Nothing would change by holding them back, so I let them go.

The maids hurriedly left with the food tray, worried I might stop them again.

I lifted my feet from the floor around the time they were almost out of sight.

“How would you like to handle dinner, Miss?”

The maid who had delivered Fillen’s message followed behind me and asked.

“I won’t be eating.”

The morning’s events combined with what just happened made my appetite completely disappear.

“More importantly, weren’t you not one of the girls who serves me?”

“Misa told me to attend to you, Miss.”

“Is that so?”

She must have been frantic having to suddenly attend to that woman, but even in the midst of that, she designated someone to look after me?

Seeing how much Misa was worried about me made me smile slightly.

“Oh, you smiled!”

The maid clapped her hands together and smiled brightly.

“That’s the first time you’ve smiled since the master returned.”

“Was it?”

“Yes. Well, there really hasn’t been anything to smile about. Really, the master is too much. How could he treat you like that, Miss?”

Her pouting and grumbling was adorable.

I wondered if this was what it would feel like to have a younger sister.

“What’s your name?”

“It’s Sara, Miss.”

“Alright, Sara. Please take care of me.”

At my words, Sara shyly blushed and bowed her head.

“Please take care of me as well, Miss.”

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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