I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 151
—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————
#151
“Your Majesty?”
Why was Kalian here?
I turned to look at Kalian with slight surprise.
Kalian also had a surprised expression.
“What are you doing here at this late hour?”
“I had some business to attend to briefly. How did Your Majesty come to be here….”
“I also had some business.”
Kalian closed his mouth after finishing that statement.
I didn’t elaborate either, and a subtle silence flowed between us.
“Baron Aster.”
It was Adrina who broke the silence.
Adrina, who was coming out through the door, flinched when she saw Kalian.
“Your Majesty, how are you here….”
“I stopped by while passing through. But you’re wearing priest robes.”
“Ah.”
Adrina let out a short exclamation and glanced at me.
She was asking for my opinion on whether it was okay to tell Kalian.
It didn’t particularly matter, but I thought it would be better if I spoke rather than Adrina, so I opened my mouth.
“I asked Director Adrina to hold a memorial service for Misa.”
“Misa… you mean the former head maid of the Williot Duchy?”
He remembered that. I was a little surprised.
“That’s correct.”
“I see.”
“Everyone is waiting, so may we go inside now?”
Adrina cautiously joined the conversation while watching both Kalian and me.
Since she couldn’t leave first without the Emperor’s permission, I waited for his response.
Kalian thought for a moment, then asked me.
“May I also participate in the memorial service?”
“That would be an honor for me, but would that be alright with you?”
It was already 10 PM. Wouldn’t that be too late?
“It’s fine.”
Kalian lightly climbed over the fence that came up to his waist and entered inside.
The gate was a bit far from here, but still, to climb over the fence.
“Please use the gate next time.”
Kalian chuckled.
“Are you nagging me?”
“It’s not nagging, I’m stating the principle, Your Majesty.”
“Understood.”
Kalian lightly shrugged his shoulders and said with a solemn face.
“Then shall we go in.”
* * *
A hastily made memorial tablet and two candles illuminating it.
A box containing Misa’s belongings placed in front of them.
Compared to memorial services held at the temple, it was infinitely modest, but the heart contained within was beyond that.
Adrina and the others sincerely prayed for Misa with genuine hearts.
Kalian also participated in the memorial service with a serious and solemn attitude.
For the Emperor to participate in an ordinary head maid’s memorial service.
It was an incomparable honor. Hoping that Misa’s resentment would be resolved even a little, I watched Misa’s memorial service with slightly blurred eyes.
Wishing that Misa would find peaceful rest.
The memorial service lasted about an hour.
Of course, this wasn’t the end. For about a week, Adrina would pray intermittently to comfort Misa’s soul.
In other words, it meant that Misa’s belongings and memorial tablet had to remain here for a week.
Therefore, I remained in place even after the memorial service ended.
Kalian also didn’t leave and stood quietly beside me.
Misa’s shadowed memorial tablet looked lonely between the precariously flickering candles.
“It would have been nice if there were chrysanthemums.”
“Shall I go buy some even now?”
Kalian immediately responded to my muttered words.
I smiled faintly and shook my head.
“It’s fine. There wouldn’t be any flower shops open now anyway.”
“That’s true.”
Kalian leaned against the wall looking somewhat awkward.
Such a kind person.
I always think this, but I was fortunate to work under Kalian.
“What kind of person was Misa to you, Leilah?”
At the sudden question, I looked at him silently.
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
That wasn’t what I meant.
I looked at Misa’s shadowed memorial tablet under the candlelight and slowly opened my mouth.
“…Misa wasn’t just a simple head maid to me, but someone like a mother.”
* * *
Kalian had investigated Leilah’s past before, so he already knew what kind of relationship Misa and Leilah had.
Yet he asked because he wanted to hear it directly from Leilah’s mouth.
And also because he hoped Leilah would let out everything she had kept inside.
While listening to Leilah’s long story.
Kalian realized that Misa was a more special person to Leilah than he had thought.
When Leilah was having the hardest time.
When Leilah desperately needed someone’s help.
The person who stayed by her side was none other than Misa.
If Misa hadn’t been there, Leilah would have collapsed long ago.
Kalian sincerely conveyed his gratitude to the woman whose face he didn’t even know.
Because without Misa, Leilah wouldn’t have been able to endure in that place.
She wouldn’t have been able to become his aide.
So while he felt grateful, he also felt somewhat disappointed.
“Misa, Misa….”
Because even though he was right beside her, it seemed like Leilah’s mind was filled only with Misa, that woman.
It was an utterly petty jealousy.
He didn’t even understand why he felt this way.
‘Do I really not know?’
Wasn’t I deliberately turning away from something I already knew?
…Turning away?
From what?
What am I turning away from?
I was deep in thought while looking at Misa’s memorial tablet when at some point I realized I could no longer hear Leilah’s voice.
Looking back, I could see Leilah had fallen asleep at some point.
The area around her eyes, where her eyelashes had gently settled, was damp. Tears she hadn’t managed to wipe away were flowing down her cheeks.
Kalian sat beside Leilah and wiped away her tears with his handkerchief.
The embroidery on the luxurious handkerchief was rather modest for an emperor to use. It was even a bit crude.
She must have been very tired, as Leilah didn’t wake up throughout the entire time he was wiping away her tears.
‘Should I wake her?’
That would be right since he couldn’t let her continue sleeping here.
So he was about to wake her when Leilah’s body slowly tilted and her small head gently touched Kalian’s shoulder.
Thump, his heart dropped for a moment.
Kalian lowered the hand he had halfway raised and looked down at Leilah.
The sound of her gentle breathing seemed unusually loud.
His gaze naturally went to her slightly parted lips.
Her plump lips, which glistened red even without any color applied, captivated his attention.
…I want to kiss her.
“I’m going crazy.”
Kalian let out a hollow laugh as he stared into space.
She was just a simple aide, yet he wanted to kiss her.
It was an insane thought. He would have nothing to say if Leilah pointed fingers at him for sexual harassment.
So even when he tried to shake off the fantasy, it wasn’t easy.
Rather, the fantasy grew at a speed he couldn’t handle.
Even though they were already close enough, he wanted to become even closer to her.
[When you’re with someone, wanting to be even closer to them is exactly what love is.]
Suddenly, a phrase from a strange book he had read before coming to this place came to mind.
Love. Love. Love.
Kalian rolled around in his mouth the word for an emotion he had never once felt in his entire life.
The more he mulled over that word, the more naturally his gaze went to Leilah.
‘…Your Majesty, do you like Baron Aster?’
Ber’s words echoed through his mind again.
Phrases from that strange book kept coming to mind as well.
It had been land he guarded like an iron fortress so no one could enter.
To prevent anything from coming in and disturbing his heart that needed to remain firm, Kalian had pushed away everything that approached.
Yet someone had secretly entered and planted a seed in that desolate land shrouded in thick fog.
He couldn’t tell when they had entered.
By the time Kalian noticed this fact, the seed had already grown endlessly toward the sky and formed a pretty flower bud.
‘It’s okay.’
It wasn’t too late yet.
He could pull it out now, so he tried to do so, but the roots seemed deeper than expected and it wouldn’t budge.
Then let’s at least break off the flower bud.
The moment he thought this and reached for the flower bud.
Whoosh—
As if it had been waiting, the flower bud bloomed brilliantly.
Still, nothing would change.
If he left it like this, it would surely bother him for a long time, so he tried to pluck the flower.
“…Mmm.”
Leilah, who had been tossing and turning as if uncomfortable, slowly collapsed and rested her head on Kalian’s lap.
As if finally satisfied, Leilah gently curved her lips upward in a smile.
That smile fell like sweet rain on the desolate land.
The thick fog cleared with the sweet rain, and when Kalian looked around, he finally realized.
That there wasn’t just one red flower.
The fact that the desolate, barren land had somehow become covered with red flowers.
* * *
‘I’m crazy.’
No matter how late it was or how tired I was, to fall asleep using Kalian’s lap as a pillow.
Though Kalian said it was fine, his expression had also stiffened somewhat subtly.
Even if he said it was okay, it was still embarrassing and shameful.
I was also worried about how I would be able to look at his face from now on.
Because of this, even after I returned home and lay down on my bed, I tossed and turned for a long time, unable to fall asleep easily.
After staying up all night with my eyes open like that, I got up around dawn and left the house.
The place I headed to was the only flower shop that opened early in the morning.
It kept bothering me that Misa’s memorial tablet was sitting there alone without a single flower, so I came to buy flowers.
Holding an armful of white chrysanthemum bouquet in my arms, I visited the Aster Orphanage again.
“Welcome, Baron.”
“Good morning, Baron.”
Even though it was early, there were many employees working.
How diligent. After greeting them, I headed to the room where Misa’s memorial tablet was.
I planned to just leave the bouquet and go since I had to get to work, but there was already a white chrysanthemum bouquet placed in front of Misa’s memorial tablet.
Who had brought it?
Could it have been Director Adrina?
“Baron, you came?”
Just then, Adrina came looking for me. I pointed to the chrysanthemums and asked Adrina.
“These chrysanthemums, did you bring them, Director?”
“No. I don’t know anything about that.”
Then who? Did another employee do it?
Director Adrina, who went out saying she would look into it and then returned, told me an unexpected fact.
“I asked the security guard who was on night duty, and he said His Majesty the Emperor came by about an hour ago.”
“His Majesty?”
“Yes. He said he came carrying an armful of chrysanthemums.”
That meant the person who left these chrysanthemums was Kalian.
An hour ago, the flower shop wouldn’t have been open yet, so where did he buy the bouquet?
I looked down at the chrysanthemum bouquet Kalian had left.
The crude bouquet clearly wasn’t the work of a professional no matter how I looked at it.
There was even dirt on it.
—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————