I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 121

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#121

 

I took the luggage I had prepared in advance and left the manor.

 

The butler suggested I take a carriage, but I declined.

 

Now that I had erased Fillen from my life, I didn’t want to receive even a grain of help from the Williot Duchy.

 

Part of me wanted to stay longer and see how Sisly would meet her end, but my desire to return to the capital was stronger.

 

Everyone must be worried.

 

I wanted to hurry back and tell them I was okay, that everything had been resolved.

 

‘But first, I need to go there.’

 

I stopped by a flower shop to buy a bouquet of pure white chrysanthemums, then headed to the Williot Duchy graveyard on the outskirts of the domain.

 

This place held the graves of all the past Dukes and Duchesses of Williot.

 

Including Fillen’s parents, the Dowager Duke and Duchess Williot.

 

I placed the bouquet I had brought in front of the relatively recently made grave.

 

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

 

When I was at the Williot Duchy, I used to visit this place once a month without fail unless something special came up, but now I couldn’t do that anymore.

 

“This might be my last visit.”

 

Because I’m going to leave this place completely now.

 

Because Fillen and I are nothing to each other anymore.

 

I’ll never have occasion to visit this place again.

 

Still… will you forgive me?

 

“…There’s no way you would.”

 

They had realized Fillen’s foolishness early on and earnestly asked me to take good care of him.

 

But I had cast him aside with my own hands, so the two of them must be very angry with me.

 

“But I did my best.”

 

It might sound like a pathetic excuse to them, but it was the truth.

 

For the past 10 years, I had truly done my best to carry on their legacy.

 

The one who ruined it was their son, Fillen.

 

“So even if you meet me later, please don’t hate me too much.”

 

My vision gradually became blurry. I tried to wipe away my tears with a handkerchief, but unfortunately I didn’t have one with me.

 

I was about to roughly wipe them with the back of my hand when a handkerchief suddenly appeared over my shoulder.

 

Startled, I turned around to see a familiar face.

 

Someone who absolutely shouldn’t be here.

 

“Your Majesty!”

 

It was Kalian. I looked at him in shock. I was so surprised that my tears stopped.

 

“How are you here…?”

 

Kalian brought his long index finger to his lips and winked.

 

“I used my ability.”

 

Ability? Ah, he means his ability to travel through water.

 

“You can travel such a long distance?”

 

“It takes some time, but it’s possible. I’ve been to the Williot Estate once before.”

 

“You’ve been here before?”

 

“Of course. I came about 10 years ago.”

 

That would have been when I had just entered the Williot Duchy.

 

Since I didn’t see him, he probably came in spring.

 

“They were good people.”

 

Kalian said, looking at the tombstone of the Dowager Duke and Duchess Williot.

 

I also looked at the tombstone and nodded.

 

“Yes, they were good people.”

 

“So they’ll understand your situation too. You did your best more than anyone. If they have any conscience, they shouldn’t ask for more than this.”

 

What… ah, did he perhaps hear me talking to myself?

 

My face burned. I couldn’t look directly at Kalian’s face and lowered my head.

 

“If you came, you should have made your presence known right away…”

 

“I did, but you didn’t notice.”

 

Kalian smiled playfully and extended his hand toward me.

 

“Shall we go back?”

 

I blinked my eyes wide and looked at him. His hair, backlit by the sunlight, sparkled blindingly.

 

“Let’s return to the capital together.”

 

My heart pounded. Had the word “together” always been such a heart-stirring word?

 

I smiled brightly and took Kalian’s outstretched hand.

 

“Yes!”

 

* * *

 

Traveling through water was fast and convenient, but it had limitations.

 

First. He could only go to places he had been to at least once.

 

Second. The distance he could travel at once was about from the imperial palace to the capital outskirts, and the distance decreased if he had a companion.

 

Third. Once he used his ability, he had to rest for a minimum of 5 minutes to a maximum of 4 hours before he could use his ability again.

 

The ability to control water was an important power that protected Kalian.

 

Since it wouldn’t be good for these weaknesses to be known by others, Kalian hadn’t told even close people like Ber about it.

 

The same was true for Leilah, but he would need to explain why they were taking breaks in between.

 

Kalian, who had been wondering what to do, made up excuses as they came to mind.

 

“I’m getting motion sick, so let’s rest a little.”

 

“I’m hungry, shall we eat something?”

 

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to this village. Shall we look around before we go?”

 

They were all flimsy excuses, but Leilah never once questioned them.

 

If it were Ber, he would have already asked if there was some other ulterior motive.

 

It could mean that Leilah trusted and followed him that much.

 

But it could also mean she had no interest in what he was doing.

 

Which one was it, he wondered. He hoped it was the former.

 

“Leilah.”

 

Wanting to know for certain, Kalian casually brought it up.

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

Hmm, something about that question seems strange.

 

Leilah seemed to think the same, as she looked at Kalian with slight confusion.

 

Soon Leilah stood properly and bowed her head respectfully.

 

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

 

It was definitely the answer he wanted, but somehow it felt unsatisfying. It felt like he was missing something very important.

 

After thinking for a moment about what the problem was, Kalian found the issue and corrected his question.

 

“Do you trust me as an emperor, or do you trust me as a person?”

 

Leilah looked even more confused than before and couldn’t readily answer, beginning to think seriously.

 

While he usually preferred people who thought carefully over those who spoke without thinking, this time was an exception.

 

He wanted to hear the answer quickly. But he was afraid that if he rushed her, he wouldn’t hear her true feelings, so he couldn’t do that and waited quietly.

 

At least that’s how it appeared on the outside. Inside was a cauldron of chaos, and all sorts of random thoughts entered his mind. He couldn’t even smile properly.

 

It was when the hour-long rest period ended and it was time to move again.

 

Finally having made her decision, Leilah looked at Kalian with a serious expression and spoke.

 

“I would have trusted Your Majesty even if you weren’t the emperor.”

 

There wasn’t a trace of wavering in the jet-black eyes looking at Kalian. Only straight conviction and faith could be seen.

 

“I see.”

 

Only then could Kalian smile with relief. The unsatisfying feeling disappeared completely without leaving a speck behind.

 

* * *

 

It was when they had almost reached the capital.

 

“Have you finished settling all the affairs at the Williot Estate now?”

 

At the sudden question, Leilah hesitated for a moment before answering ‘yes’ in a small voice.

 

Kalian glanced at Leilah in his arms and asked in an indifferent voice.

 

“You seem dispirited. Do you still have lingering feelings for Duke Williot?”

 

“No. I have no lingering feelings for His Grace the Duke.”

 

It wasn’t empty words but her true feelings. From the moment Leilah declared the broken engagement to Fillen and left the ducal house, she had let go of all her lingering feelings for him.

 

What had remained until now was her guilt toward the Dowager Duke and Duchess Williot, her longing for the servants including Misa, and her yearning for the Williot Estate.

 

“Then why do you look so dispirited?”

 

“I have some doubts.”

 

“What doubts?”

 

“Doubts about whether it was right to end things like this.”

 

If this wasn’t lingering attachment, then what was?

 

Being kind and being foolish were completely different things.

 

Leilah’s current behavior was foolish.

 

Just as he was about to scold her, Leilah muttered quietly as if talking to herself.

 

“I should have at least cursed at him before leaving…”

 

If she still had lingering feelings, but they were this kind of lingering feelings, then he welcomed them wholeheartedly.

 

Kalian smiled softly and said.

 

“Right. You should have hit him with all your might before leaving.”

 

If it were the usual Leilah, she would have said how could she dare do such a thing to His Grace the Duke, or she would have gone on with stuffy talk about how it was nonsense. But the current Leilah didn’t do that.

 

“I should have done that.”

 

She nodded with a very serious expression.

 

At the same time, she clenched her fist tightly as if she would punch him right away if Fillen were in front of her.

 

“Haha.”

 

The sight was so tragic that Kalian laughed out loud and patted Leilah’s head.

 

“If I ever meet Duke Williot, I’ll hit him for your share too.”

 

Kalian spoke sincerely, but Leilah took it as a joke and nodded.

 

“Please do that.”

 

Even while discussing the same topic, the two people’s thoughts were so different.

 

* * *

 

“Your Majesty!”

 

As soon as they arrived at the imperial palace, Ber rushed toward Kalian with a frightening momentum.

 

“If you keep disappearing without a word… Oh, Baron Aster?”

 

Ber, who belatedly discovered Leilah, stopped in surprise.

 

“How are you here… No, more than that, why are you with His Majesty…?”

 

“His Imperial Majesty graciously came to meet me.”

 

At Leilah’s answer, Ber sighed and held his head with his hand.

 

“You traveled that far distance without saying a word to me?”

 

“Did you come in secret?”

 

When Leilah asked in surprise, Kalian clicked his tongue as if annoyed and turned his head away.

 

It was a tacit affirmation. Good heavens. Leilah said in bewilderment.

 

“Why did you do that…”

 

“Because I wanted to give you this today.”

 

Kalian took something out from his chest and put it around Leilah’s neck.

 

It was a necklace with a large blue gem set on a silver chain.

 

“I told you before, that I would give you a better necklace than that one as a gift as soon as you returned.”

 

Leilah blinked her eyes wide and looked down at the necklace.

 

“Happy birthday, Leilah.”

 

It was the same birthday greeting as Fillen’s, but the feeling was completely different.

 

Fillen’s birthday greeting had been uncomfortable, but Kalian’s birthday greeting seeped into her heart like dew moistening grass leaves at dawn.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Whoosh—

 

The autumn wind, which had become cool before they knew it, brushed past the hem of their clothes.

 

Though the moisture on the hem of her clothes had dried, what had seeped into her heart still hadn’t dried and moistened her parched heart.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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