I Won’t Pick Up The T*ash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 102

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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#102

 

There were exactly 10 days left until Leilah’s birthday.

 

A period that could be considered long or short.

 

Since this was the first birthday I was celebrating for her, I wanted to do it properly.

 

Ideally, something memorable enough to last a lifetime.

 

‘Should I throw her a party?’

 

No. We’re not even family, so that would seem too over the top.

 

Rather than a party, it seemed better to just prepare a proper gift.

 

“Rahel.”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

“What kind of gifts are suitable for women?”

 

Gifts for women?

 

Though it was a somewhat unexpected question, Rahel didn’t panic and continued pouring tea.

 

And she thought about which women Kalian might personally prepare gifts for.

 

There wasn’t much to think about deeply, as there were only two such women.

 

His half-sister, Countess Cloud, and his aide Leilah.

 

Though she was his half-sister, Kalian wasn’t close enough to Countess Cloud to give her personal gifts on non-special occasions.

 

And Rahel also knew that Leilah’s birthday was approaching soon.

 

“Is this about Baron Aster’s birthday?”

 

“Yes.”

 

I asked just in case, and as expected.

 

She didn’t think it was strange or unusual. Kalian celebrated Ber’s birthday every year too.

 

“Usually for princesses’ birthdays, people give pretty dresses or jewelry.”

 

“I want to give her a memorable gift.”

 

“If you give her a very large jewel or a splendid dress, it would be memorable.”

 

It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but it wasn’t wrong either.

 

Kalian pondered for a moment, then gave Rahel an order.

 

“As soon as dawn breaks tomorrow, summon the accessory craftsmen.”

 

After Rahel left with his order, Kalian sought out Odrin, the head maid.

 

“I’ll be having dinner with my aides. Make preparations.”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

The preparations included informing Leilah and Ber of this news.

 

Odrin, who had sent a maid to Leilah’s room to deliver his message, heard unexpected news and immediately informed Kalian.

 

“Leilah isn’t in her room?”

 

Kalian raised his eyebrows and looked at Odrin.

 

“Where did she go?”

 

“It’s been confirmed that she’s not in the Imperial Palace.”

 

“Does that mean she went outside?”

 

“A maid has gone to check with the guards, so please wait a moment, Your Majesty.”

 

The guards recorded everyone who entered and left the Imperial Palace, so if Leilah had gone out, they would know immediately.

 

Shortly after, the maid who had checked with the guards returned with news that Leilah had left the Imperial Palace.

 

“Hah.”

 

To go outside without a word when Fillen was desperately searching for her.

 

The fact that no one knew she had left meant she had gone out alone without even a carriage.

 

Kalian dismissed Odrin and immediately summoned Hilltain.

 

“She probably went home. Find her right now and bring her back.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Hilltain gave a brief answer and immediately disappeared.

 

Left alone, Kalian tapped the desk with his fingertips.

 

He had a bad feeling about this.

 

* * *

 

The abortion drug I prepared?

 

What does that mean…!

 

“Looking at your expression, you seem to remember.”

 

“…”

 

Though Fillen asked sarcastically, I couldn’t say anything.

 

Because something was coming to mind, just as he said.

 

The abortion drug that Countess Tebesa had given me.

 

But I definitely threw that away when I left the manor.

 

Why did Sisly take it?

 

“So it really was something you prepared.”

 

The smile completely disappeared from Fillen’s face. His gaze toward me became even colder.

 

“Why did you do it?”

 

His heavily weighted voice sent chills down my spine.

 

“Did you hate my child that much?”

 

“No.”

 

It wasn’t a lie.

 

Though I disliked Sisly, I had no feelings toward the child she carried. I neither hated nor disliked it.

 

“Then did you hate me?”

 

Fillen asked mockingly.

 

“Or did you hate Sisly?”

 

“…”

 

Bang-!

 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

 

Fillen slammed the table hard and shouted.

 

“I’m asking why you killed my child!”

 

“…It wasn’t me.”

 

“Ha, are you going to play dumb until the end?”

 

“I didn’t give it to her.”

 

When I made a more specific excuse, he chuckled.

 

“Right, you didn’t give it to her. It was Misa who made Sisly take the drug.”

 

Misa made Sisly take that drug?

 

“That can’t be!”

 

I clenched my fists and shouted.

 

“Misa, Misa couldn’t have done such a thing!”

 

“Evidence has already emerged proving she’s the culprit. It’s certain that she’s the perpetrator.”

 

Fillen firmly denied my words.

 

No, that can’t be.

 

I knew Fillen wasn’t the type to lie about something like this, but I couldn’t believe it.

 

There must be some misunderstanding.

 

I was about to ask him to investigate once more, but before I could, Fillen delivered even more shocking news.

 

“After Misa gave Sisly the drug and killed my child, she committed suicide.”

 

What did Fillen just say?

 

Misa… took her own life?

 

It was shocking. No, emotions that couldn’t be expressed even with the word “shocking” came flooding in like a tide.

 

If Misa really had given Sisly the abortion drug and killed the child, then she was as good as dead anyway.

 

Because Fillen would never let the person who killed his child live.

 

She would probably be cruelly tortured and eventually meet a miserable death.

 

So Misa’s choice to commit suicide was the right decision.

 

But, but… she shouldn’t have done such a thing in the first place!

 

Then there would have been no need for suicide or anything like that.

 

“Why did Misa do such a thing…”

 

“Are you asking because you don’t know? It was for you.”

 

For me?

 

“It seems Misa thought the problems between you and me were because of the baby.”

 

That wasn’t the kind of problem it was.

 

Fillen said with a small, bitter laugh.

 

‘Misa died because of me…’

 

I actually knew that. There was no way Misa would have done such a thing otherwise.

 

I just didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that Misa died because of me, so I turned away from it.

 

But Fillen hit that point too accurately.

 

My head went completely blank and my vision spun. My stomach churned and nausea rose up.

 

“Ugh-.”

 

I covered my mouth with my hand and lowered my head.

 

“That child was my first child that I had been looking forward to.”

 

Fillen, who had approached me at some point, gripped my shoulders tightly and spoke.

 

“But Leilah, you killed that child. You took away my chance to become a father.”

 

A groan escaped involuntarily from the tremendous force squeezing my shoulders.

 

I bit down hard on the soft flesh inside my mouth to suppress the groan.

 

“I’d like to do something to you right now, but… doing that won’t bring back the dead baby, so I’ll hold back.”

 

“…”

 

“Instead, you’ll pay for your sins.”

 

Pay for my sins?

 

“Are you… planning to report me to the estate guards?”

 

Even just ordering someone to kill, not directly killing them, was a great sin.

 

Especially if the target was of ducal bloodline.

 

In the worst case, I wouldn’t be able to keep my life.

 

Of course, since I had never done such a thing, I would be confident even if dragged before the guards.

 

The problem was when my innocence couldn’t be proven.

 

Then I would be branded a murderer and punished at the same time.

 

Even if I was lucky enough to receive a light punishment, I would have to give up my position as the Emperor’s aide.

 

‘I don’t want that.’

 

I had just barely established my position, and now I might have to give it up.

 

It was devastating. It felt like everything before my eyes was crumbling down.

 

“For now, I won’t report you to the guards.”

 

I thought he would drag me to the guards immediately, but this was unexpected.

 

But he said “for now”?

 

“You’ll pay for your sins yourself.”

 

“I… myself?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Fillen narrowed his eyes and continued.

 

“You can bear my child in Sisly’s place.”

 

* * *

 

When he first learned that Leilah had killed his child, he was extremely angry.

 

Angry enough to want to find her immediately and kill her.

 

So he came straight to her house in the capital.

 

But like a lie, Leilah was away from home for an extended period due to diplomatic mission duties.

 

Fillen let out a hollow laugh when he learned this fact only after causing a disturbance in front of her house and encountering the guards.

 

Upon immediate inquiry, Leilah would return in about two weeks.

 

Though there was plenty of time left, Fillen didn’t leave and waited for her return.

 

Even knowing it wasn’t time for her to return yet, he paced countless times in front of her house.

 

During that time, his anger toward Leilah subsided somewhat.

 

Fillen had no intention of turning Leilah over to the guards.

 

He planned to make Leilah pay for killing the child with his own hands.

 

‘What method would be good?’

 

How could he make her pay for her sins while getting revenge at the same time?

 

Though he hated her and was angry enough to want to kill her, he didn’t actually plan to kill her.

 

Death was the most comfortable punishment.

 

He wanted to give her greater pain and suffering than that.

 

‘Should I take away what she values most right now?’

 

Just like she did?

 

Then she would feel the same endless despair he felt, so it seemed like a good idea.

 

What Leilah valued most right now would be her new lover, Kalian.

 

And that would be the same for Kalian as well.

 

So if he separated the two, it could be excellent revenge against both Leilah and Kalian.

 

Just thinking about it made Fillen smile with a bitter taste.

 

The way to definitively separate the two was to take Leilah as his wife.

 

If he did that, the upright Leilah wouldn’t look elsewhere again, and Kalian wouldn’t be able to reach out to Leilah either.

 

It would also be good for him to bring her, who was perfect as a duchess, into the Williot family as the Duchess.

 

Of course, he had no intention of accommodating Leilah’s convenience like before.

 

Even if he got revenge by separating her from Kalian, the fact remained that she was a murderer who killed his first child!

 

“…”

 

Thinking about that made his mood sink low again.

 

The shock of losing his anticipated first child so meaninglessly was something he would never forget for the rest of his life.

 

Even if other children came along.

 

“Other children…”

 

Suddenly thinking of a child that would be born between Leilah and himself, a strange light appeared in Fillen’s golden eyes.

 

It was the image he had dreamed of and longed for since childhood.

 

Though things had gotten somewhat twisted when Sisly became pregnant with his child first, Fillen had continued to dream of having children with Leilah and forming a cozy family.

 

But when that dream was shattered by Leilah’s betrayal and he despaired, another opportunity had come.

 

At the cost of the great sacrifice of his first child.

 

That made him angry and sad, but it was in the past.

 

Rather than being bound by the past, let’s move forward.

 

Fillen thought that would be good for himself and for everyone.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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