I Acted Once, and Now They Call Me a Genius - Chapter 58

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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Episode 58

 

“Thank you for your hard work!”

 

After the script reading ended, Seon-woo first went around greeting the supporting actors.

 

The actors looked at Seon-woo with pleased smiles and patted his back.

 

“That’s right, you worked hard.”

 

“Don’t worry too much about what PD Park Myeong-jin said. PDs are never satisfied with our acting anyway.”

 

“Ah, no. I’ll work harder.”

 

“That’s right, that’s right. Let’s do well going forward!”

 

“Yes! Please take care of me!”

 

In many ways, most of the conversations were heartwarming like this.

 

But even with their kind words, Seon-woo found it difficult to smile easily.

 

—Kim Seon-woo, you hate him, don’t you?

 

‘…It feels exactly like being caught doing something bad.’

 

Seon-woo smiled bitterly.

 

An actor who hates his own character and gets caught by the PD. Even he thought this was definitely a problem.

 

Thanks to that, after the script reading ended, Seon-woo immediately shut himself in his room as soon as he returned to the accommodation.

 

It was to read through the script once more.

 

‘Do I hate Kim Seon-woo…?’

 

Honestly, it was criticism he never imagined.

 

He thought he might get criticized for things like voice projection or character interpretation.

 

But… what Park Myeong-jin pointed out wasn’t that kind of thing.

 

Seon-woo hated Kim Seon-woo.

 

Only after hearing those words did Seon-woo realize he had been overlooking one thing. He hadn’t tried to look into the very reason why the Color Bubble wouldn’t burst.

 

‘…Why won’t it burst?’

 

It wasn’t that his understanding of Kim Seon-woo was lacking.

 

Rather, perhaps because the character was modeled after him, he could understand him faster than any other character he’d seen so far.

 

Why Kim Seon-woo thought that way, why he acted like that… there wasn’t a single part he couldn’t understand.

 

Despite that, the Color Bubble wouldn’t burst.

 

Why?

 

The answer lay in Park Myeong-jin’s question.

 

In those words asking if he hated Kim Seon-woo.

 

‘I hate Kim Seon-woo. Kim Seon-woo’s color… and being dyed in that color too?’

 

It was the moment his thoughts reached that point.

 

Knock, knock – the sound of knocking pierced through Seon-woo’s contemplation.

 

“Seon-woo, are you there?”

 

“…Yeon-woo?”

 

Seon-woo opened the door.

 

Yeon-woo stood there with an unusually expressionless face.

 

“I have something on my mind, could you listen to me?”

 

“Well… yes. Sure.”

 

Seon-woo hesitated for a moment before nodding.

 

He had his own problems to deal with right now, but… if it was Yeon-woo’s concern, he should listen. Hadn’t she helped him in many ways?

 

Moreover, the usual sky-blue aura around Yeon-woo had completely disappeared.

 

It meant she was so irritated that she didn’t even have the composure to act.

 

‘But what could she be irritated about?’

 

Seon-woo inwardly tilted his head in confusion.

 

Today, Yeon-woo was one of the members who received the best evaluation from PD Park Myeong-jin.

 

Only Hye-seong had received praise comparable to hers.

 

In fact, even from Seon-woo’s perspective, Yeon-woo’s script reading today had been quite impressive.

 

Even though she wasn’t properly positioned for acting, that distinctive eeriness that only a psychopath could possess seemed to be clearly conveyed.

 

“Did the psychopath suit me well?”

 

But it seemed that very aspect was what Yeon-woo was concerned about.

 

Seon-woo made a groaning sound and nodded.

 

“Today’s reading was really good though.”

 

“Did it seem like I had some experience with it?”

 

Experience.

 

Seon-woo recalled the evaluation Lee Mu-beom had given to Yeon-woo in the past.

 

He had told Yeon-woo that she lacked distinctiveness. That she didn’t seem to have her own acting style.

 

It wasn’t strange that Yeon-woo received such an evaluation.

 

She was… how should he put it… rather than bringing out an aspect from within herself, it felt like she was acting as someone completely different with no intersection to her own self.

 

In a way, it was imitation rather than acting.

 

That imitation was so incredibly high-level that no one felt any awkwardness, but in essence, it was acting that lacked something fundamental.

 

But…

 

“This time I felt something.”

 

“…What kind of thing?”

 

“A character that only Yeon-woo has?”

 

“…So you’re saying that.”

 

Yeon-woo’s eyes grew cold.

 

The fact that the subtle sense of alienation disappeared when she acted as a psychopath didn’t approach her as merely an acting problem.

 

How should she put it.

 

No matter how hard she tried to act, it felt like a confirmation that she could never become a normal person.

 

Yeon-woo searched through her memories with an expressionless face.

 

Very old memories. Memories of when she first started acting.

 

In the days when she wasn’t acting, people all found her difficult.

 

To put it nicely, they found her difficult, but it would be more accurate to say they disliked and feared her.

 

—Smile.

 

And her mother always emphasized this to such a Yeon-woo.

 

—Do I have to smile even when I’m not happy?

 

—Yes. Smile when others smile, and don’t smile when they don’t.

 

—Why?

 

—So that you won’t be hated.

 

When she was young, those words didn’t make much sense to her.

 

She wondered what problem it would be if people hated her.

 

But now… she thought she understood what feelings prompted her mother to say such things.

 

She must have been afraid.

 

Afraid that her daughter would be abandoned by this world.

 

Afraid that she might become a monster-like existence that couldn’t blend into this world.

 

Media that talked as if all psychopaths were serial killers probably played a part too.

 

In truth, for Yeon-woo, it was a somewhat absurd story.

 

All psychopaths are serial killers?

 

It had nothing to do with her… no, even if it did, what benefit would she gain from killing someone?

 

Why would she do such a stupid thing.

 

Anyway, Yeon-woo decided to listen to her mother’s words.

 

Let’s become as ordinary as possible.

 

Let’s become a child who absolutely never stands out among people.

 

Of course, her beautiful appearance rarely allowed that.

 

But that wasn’t entirely a disadvantage.

 

Perhaps thanks to that appearance.

 

Even when Yeon-woo occasionally showed slightly peculiar behavior, it was simply dismissed as one of her charms.

 

Thanks to that, Yeon-woo was able to blend into society reasonably well.

 

She was confident.

 

That now, her mother would no longer need to worry.

 

That she could live not much differently from ordinary people.

 

However,

 

—Excellent. Today’s acting… has the best feeling among everything you’ve shown us so far, Yeon-woo.

 

“Honestly, I lost some confidence today.”

 

“About what?”

 

“Confidence in fitting into This World?”

 

Seon-woo looked at Yeon-woo silently.

 

He hadn’t expected a psychopath to have such concerns, thinking it was somewhat unexpected.

 

“You really don’t fit in.”

 

“…Seon-woo, are you poorly socialized? At times like this, you’re supposed to comfort me by saying I can do it reasonably well.”

 

To think someone with antisocial personality disorder would talk about socialization.

 

Seon-woo shrugged his shoulders.

 

“Should I comfort you by saying you can do reasonably well?”

 

“….”

 

“If that’s what you want, I can certainly do that, but it doesn’t seem like that’s what you need right now.”

 

Yeon-woo silently looked Seon-woo up and down.

 

He really was a human worthy of study. No matter how she looked at it, he seemed like her type, but sometimes he also seemed like he wasn’t…

 

Seon-woo opened his mouth.

 

“But, is it really necessary to fit in?”

 

“…You’re saying not to fit in?”

 

“I don’t think everything necessarily has to fit in.”

 

What is he talking about.

 

Yeon-woo looked at Seon-woo with a puzzled expression.

 

Seon-woo continued speaking without concern.

 

“Rather, there are things that stand out when they don’t fit in. Like using selective color as a focal point in black and white movies… I think Yeon-woo could be that focal point.”

 

That’s probably why Park Myeong-jin praised her so highly.

 

Psychopath, antisocial personality disorder, whatever – honestly, Seon-woo wasn’t particularly interested in any of that.

 

What he considered important was that Yeon-woo was an attractive actor.

 

He wasn’t sure if his sincerity got through to Yeon-woo.

 

But she nodded in agreement more readily than expected.

 

“Hmm. That’s a good approach. If I don’t fit in anyway, use that as my weapon instead – is that what you mean?”

 

“Yes. I’m someone who thinks it’s easier to enhance strengths rather than eliminate weaknesses.”

 

“That’s better advice than I expected.”

 

Yeon-woo was honestly impressed.

 

“Accept yourself… This is the first time I’ve heard advice like that.”

 

“….”

 

It wasn’t really such grand advice though.

 

But well, if it made her feel better, that was fine too.

 

However,

 

‘Accept yourself…’

 

Somehow, those words didn’t seem to be needed only by Yeon-woo.

 

It was the moment Seon-woo’s eyes grew heavy.

 

Yeon-woo scratched her cheek and opened her mouth.

 

“But what was different? What exactly did he see that made PD Park Myeong-jin even applaud my acting like that?”

 

“Naturalness… I suppose. There was no sense of incongruity at all.”

 

“Incongruity?”

 

“The incongruity of this person acting this role. When Yeon-woo acted, you really were…”

 

He seemed like a living serial killer.

 

Unable to say such a thing, Seon-woo kept his mouth shut, and Yeon-woo smirked.

 

“You were about to say something mean to me again just now, weren’t you?”

 

“…No, I wasn’t.”

 

“But why do you look so gloomy since earlier, Seon-woo?”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes. You look really dejected.”

 

It wasn’t quite dejected.

 

Seon-woo scratched his head.

 

“I got scolded too.”

 

“Scolded? …Oh, that?”

 

Yeon-woo nodded as if she just remembered.

 

“That was quite unexpected though.”

 

“Getting scolded?”

 

“No. I didn’t know that gloomy look would suit you so well.”

 

Yeon-woo spoke in a casual tone.

 

“It was like you’d lived that way your whole life, I guess?”

 

“Haha…”

 

Having nothing to say, Seon-woo just laughed.

 

It would be embarrassing to answer that he actually had lived that way.

 

Seon-woo subtly changed the subject.

 

“How did it look to you, Yeon-woo? Did it show that I… didn’t really like Kim Seon-woo?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Yeon-woo nodded immediately.

 

“That was unexpected too. Until now, when you acted, Seon-woo… it felt like you really became that person. It didn’t feel like acting, I guess? But…”

 

“This time it felt like acting.”

 

“Yes. In a way, it’s the opposite of me.”

 

“Opposite?”

 

“I have too much immersion with this psycho, which is the problem… and you have trouble with immersion, which is your problem.”

 

Yeon-woo looked at Seon-woo with clear eyes.

 

And soon tilted his head as if he couldn’t understand.

 

“But why are they so different? They’re both characters based on ourselves.”

 

“…Maybe that’s the difference? Yeon-woo has never lived as herself, so that was actually good for her…”

 

“And Seon-woo has grown tired of living as himself?”

 

“…”

 

“Well, that sounds plausible. Anyway, my problem is solved! I’ll be going now. Good work!”

 

Yeon-woo left, leaving behind the silent Seon-woo.

 

Seon-woo didn’t stop her.

 

The words she left behind had quite a significant impact.

 

Tired of living as himself… huh.

 

He didn’t want to call that dull, ashen character himself.

 

But at the same time, he realized that this feeling must have been what Park Myeong-jin saw.

 

‘I see.’

 

Seon-woo finally realized.

 

‘…I was really tired of myself.’

 

Seon-woo’s eyes darkened.

 

He understood why the Color Orb hadn’t burst.

 

It didn’t fail to burst. He chose not to burst it.

 

Because he hated revisiting that mental state.

 

Because he didn’t want to be dyed in that dull color again.

 

Seon-woo brought up Kim Seon-woo’s Color Orb.

 

The ash-colored Color Orb.

 

It still wasn’t a color he particularly liked.

 

Dyeing himself in that color… just thinking about it was enough to make him feel bad.

 

But he had to do it.

 

Why?

 

He started acting because he loved the colorful world.

 

What was so good about that colorless shade that… he had to dye himself in it?

 

He didn’t know.

 

Seon-woo knows only one thing.

 

That you can’t always live doing only what you want to do.

 

To do what you want to do, to have what you want to have… sometimes you must also do things you don’t want to do.

 

Seon-woo extended his fist toward the Color Orb… and grasped it tightly.

 

And then, the Color Orb…

 

Burst.

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This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
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