An Ode to Divorce - Chapter 54

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————

#54

Normally, I would have argued that even Gert had no right to interfere with what songs I wanted to sing, but I couldn’t do that now. Since I had done something wrong, I obediently nodded my head.

But as if that wasn’t enough to reassure him, Gert continued to earnestly plead with me.

“You must never sing such songs even if someone asks you to. Save them to sing only for your lover later. Do you understand?”

“But for a minstrel, the audience is always a lover… No, I’ll be quiet. There are plenty of other things to sing besides love songs anyway.”

As soon as I showed the slightest defiance, the corners of Gert’s eyebrows shot up. I quickly lowered myself submissively.

Gert stared at me with a troubled expression. Meanwhile, his hand kept touching his own lips. It seemed unconscious, but he appeared quite shocked.

Gert, who had been fidgeting with his lips like that, suddenly said something unexpected.

“Have you ever kissed anyone else before?”

“Huh? Uh, well.”

Did it show?

If I was just considering experience of whether I’d kissed someone or not, I thought I should probably count what happened in my previous life, so I answered awkwardly.

But as soon as I answered, Gert’s mood seemed to suddenly worsen again. Who would have thought his mood would sour so frequently just from one kiss? He was like a mimosa plant.

“Did that bastard force himself on you or something?”

“Huh? Hmm… It wasn’t by force.”

“Then did he ask for your permission?”

“I don’t think he asked for permission…”

I traced back through my memories of that time. There didn’t seem to be any particular permission asked for the kiss. It wasn’t really a situation where words could be exchanged anyway.

I didn’t know why he was asking, but I honestly confessed everything. The more I continued speaking, the darker Gert’s face became.

“Don’t tell me it was like today, getting swept up in the mood? Did someone lean in to kiss you, and you just allowed it?”

“That… How did you know?”

I couldn’t help but widen my eyes at Gert’s words that precisely pinpointed the situation from before my regression.

Gert soon curved his eyes into a smile. The smile was so unlike his usual calm demeanor that it actually gave me chills. Gert coaxed me in a deliberately gentle tone, all traces of his earlier menace completely hidden.

“Who was that bastard? The name. Yes, just tell me the name.”

“…What are you planning to do?”

“You don’t need to know that much.”

Gert gently coaxed me like someone tempting a puppy with a piece of meat.

But after making such a scary expression earlier, did he think I’d be fooled just because he suddenly changed his attitude?

‘Besides, I can’t reveal it anyway.’

I wondered if it was really necessary to go this far to identify who I had kissed.

Perhaps thinking that my reluctance to answer meant I was defending the other person, Gert openly criticized them.

“That bastard doesn’t seem like a good person at all. From what I can see, he didn’t even confess, yet he kissed you without asking permission. What a scoundrel!”

“…”

Gert’s words weren’t wrong at all. The only problem was that the person in question was Gert himself.

No matter how much Gert coaxed and cajoled me, I couldn’t tell him the whole truth. Saying “it was you” was out of the question, and I couldn’t point to some innocent person either.

I opened my mouth, trying not to lie as much as possible.

“Well… Anyway, that person is already dead…”

“Ah, really?”

Gert brightened up, abandoning his previous pretense. Relief briefly crossed his face, but then he shook his head and grabbed my shoulders with a determined expression.

“It’s fine to kiss someone you like. But accepting it just because you got caught up in the mood when you don’t really like them is not okay. Do you understand? You might think it’s just a kiss, but men, once they kiss, want to embrace you and do all sorts of other things.”

‘…This somehow feels like a father lecturing his teenage daughter.’

I was quietly listening to the lecture since I had done something wrong, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t feeling wronged.

If it hadn’t been Gert, I wouldn’t have let my guard down like that!

‘…What does he mean it’s okay if it’s someone you love? He rubbed lips with another woman because he mistook her for someone he loved.’

My lips jutted out in displeasure.

As I got thoroughly scolded by Gert to the point of dizziness, the kiss from earlier had long been forgotten from my memory.

If I had known I’d get scolded like this, forget about getting excited. Even if Gert’s lips came right up to my nose, I would have absolutely forced my brain to resist!

Anyway, there was nothing good about continuing this topic.

After all, the one I was upset with was Gert from before my regression. I couldn’t even confront the current Gert about it, so I was the only one feeling wronged in the end.

Wanting to change the subject, I hurriedly picked up the lyre I had set down on the floor.

“Then how about this instead of Canso? Sheep graze on green hills, and stream water flows under the willow shade…”

It was one of the pastorals that could sound similar to Canso.

“You, trying to change the subject like that…”

“I said I was sorry… So from now on I’ll play other songs instead of Canso.”

“Hah…”

Gert sighed and leaned back against the sofa. I didn’t know what he was being wary of, but he was sitting much farther from me than before.

Still, it seemed he didn’t dislike my singing, which was fortunate. I had been so worried he might storm out saying he couldn’t listen to my songs anymore because they made him anxious…

I carefully continued playing while sneaking glances at Gert, who was once again quietly listening to my song.

Perhaps some displeasure still remained, as his brow was deeply furrowed. I sighed inwardly. Just when I thought I had managed to keep Gert here, not a single day passed easily!

***

“White lilies blooming by the water sway in the wind, and the shepherd’s pipe echoes…”

After finishing one song with the nerve-wracking tension of performing acrobatics on a tightrope, I noticed one string was slightly off and turned the tuning peg to adjust the pitch.

This wasn’t my first time acting like something that had already happened never occurred. I had managed well to act like nothing happened even after sleeping with Gert, so a mere kiss was nothing. I casually spoke to Gert.

“How was it? Pastorals are nice too, right? They definitely have a fresher taste than Canso, so I enjoy singing them too.”

“…”

“Or how about something else? A maiden picks lilies and weaves a garland…”

Having no intention of letting the silence drag on, I immediately started playing the lyre and moved into another song.

Just as the song was about to continue like a monologue.

“…Do you like lilies?”

“Huh?”

I tilted my head at Gert’s unexpected question. Suddenly asking about lilies?

“Well… lilies keep appearing in your songs. Come to think of it, Zyla brought a lily bouquet yesterday too. And now that I think about it, there are always lilies in the vase in your room.”

Gert gestured toward the vase in the drawing room as he continued.

“If you like them, I can have the Royal Palace bring some rare saplings. They’d look quite nice planted in the garden.”

“No, no. It’s fine.”

Worried that Gert might actually bring saplings from the Royal Palace, I hurriedly waved my hands.

“Lilies appear frequently in songs because they’re such famous flowers. They’re good to use as symbols for various things… Lilies are actually a staple subject in songs along with roses.”

Though it was a question I’d never thought about, it was indeed the kind of question Gert would ask.

“And all the lilies in the vase in my room were gifts from Zyla. Lilies are the symbol of Artemis. So whenever Zyla visits friends, she brings lily bouquets. I don’t particularly like them.”

“Ah.”

Gert sighed softly as if he finally understood.

“The flowers are pretty and smell nice, but the scent is definitely too strong for me. So planting lilies in the garden might be a bit much. Even the Royal Palace garden during the charity auction felt a bit overwhelming actually.”

I thought I’d be talking to myself all day today, but Gert asking such an unexpected question allowed us to continue conversing like usual. Thanks to that, the subtle tension that remained after our earlier kiss was much relieved.

Gert probably wasn’t really curious about whether I liked lilies, and he probably wanted to escape this stiff atmosphere quickly too. Thinking that way, I was even grateful.

“Then what flowers do you like?”

But my gratitude was short-lived, as Gert’s follow-up question suddenly left me speechless.

—————
This chapter was translated by Lunox Team. To support us and help keep this series going, visit our website: LunoxScans.com
—————